Man Vs. Food: The 2 POUND Burger Eating Contest

3

It’s 4th of July, my favorite holiday next to Halloween. Last year I entered into a hot dog eating contest. This year I tried a burger contest believing my love of hamburgers would carry me to victory.

Let’s set the scene: The contest was if I could eat a 2 pound burger, 1 pound of fries, and a 32 OZ milkshake in 20 minutes. From the outset, I recognized that a 32 OZ milkshake could be a problem because who could finish one of those with unlimited time? I also was wary about the fries because they killed me in the hot dog contest. The size of the burger was of no concern because I love burgers (see 4 Big Macs while in Prague).

Here’s how it went in pictures:

The Venue: Parkers Burgers in Drummond, Montana
The Venue: Parkers Burgers in Drummond, Montana
Over 100 burgers to chose from
Over 100 burgers to choose from
The classic page
The classic page
The challenge
The challenge
A lof of Coke memorabilia
A lot of Coke memorabilia
The decorations
The decorations
Preparing with a High Life
Preparing with a High Life
The burger arrives
The burger arrives
The bread is gone
The bread is gone
Onto the meet
Onto the meet
Add some ranch
Add some ranch
Work on the beef
Work on the beef
Finish the burger
Finish the burger
Onto the fries
Onto the fries
Killing the milkshake
Killing the milkshake

So did I win?

According to the owner, Parker, I did not because I didn’t finish the tomatoes, a single pickle, and the lettuce. I hate tomatoes and couldn’t believe that I could lose like this especially after consuming 5000 calories. Disgraced, I was forced to pay $30 for what should have been a free meal.

The lesson I learned is to attack these contests with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind. This means eating fries by the handful and chugging the milkshake like a madman. That way when the extra pieces of lettuce are all over my shirt, on the table, and the floor, I will be declared victor, not loser.

Anyone agree that I should’ve won? I invite you to look at the first pic and the last.

 

 

3 COMMENTS

Leave a Reply