The Tahiti Diet: Making the Bungalow Selfie Count

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The countdown is on to my much-anticipated trip around most of the world which covers Dubai, Shanghai, Tahiti, New Zealand, and Tokyo. As such, I am putting in the time at the gym and fine-tuning my diet so I can get the perfect narcissistic photo of me in the bungalow before indulging on food and drink. For the next few weeks I will be following The Tahiti Diet, a stricter version of what I call the The Cubicle-Ism Diet (if you haven’t bought my entrepreneurship book) or C&B (Chicken & Broccoli if you have a bbq and a condo in Arizona).

Before you go on Amazon and search ‘Tahiti Diet’ let me save you the expense by sharing two things: 1) There’s no book called The Tahiti Diet. 2) The book would be one page long if it did exist.

Before I tell you what I will be eating. Let me tell you what I will not be having before then:

  • Alcohol

That was tough to write.

Moving on.

Without having to spend money on The World’s Best Champagne, I have more than enough to support the greatest food product in the world, Egg Whites International. I’ve written about it before in my Get Swoll: A Repat’s Guide to Returning Healthy and I’m sharing it again because it is the cornerstone of The Tahiti Diet.

Meal 1 (Breakfast)

8 Squirts of Egg Whites + double espresso + ice

Meal 2 (Snack)

8 Squirts of Egg Whites as an omelette + 1 bag green beans, okra, or broccoli

Meal 3 (Lunch)

8 Squirts of Egg Whites + double espresso + ice

Meal 4 (Snack)

8 Squirts of Egg Whites as an omelette+ 1 bag green beans, okra, or broccoli

Meal 5 (Dinner)

8 Squirts of Egg Whites as an omelette + 1 bag green beans, okra, or broccoli

Meal 6 (Dessert) 

8 Squirts of Egg Whites + sugar-free caramel syrup + ice

Maybe I’ll have a box of wheat pasta + plain tomato sauce with pepper every 10 days or when the metabolism slows down but certainly nothing beyond that. As a treat, I will consume Tabasco, one of the World’s Best Hot Sauces, straight from the bottle in between meals.

Having saved you $15.95 from buying another fad diet book, I implore you to invest in another book previously mentioned earlier in this post then call Mac at Egg Whites (877 Egg Whites) right away. If you tell him that TPOL (Alexander Bachuwa) sent you, you’ll get a free tee-shirt on a 4 gallon order.

The alternative is to skip the Tahiti Diet in favor of my fat man pizza in bed + sick mustache
The alternative is to skip the Tahiti Diet in favor of my fat man pizza in bed + sick mustache

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