Waldorf Astoria Dubai Palm Jumeirah: Pass On It

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This is the Waldorf Astoria Palm Jumeirah Dubai Hotel Review which is part of the Tahiti Triumph Trip Report. It covers the following cities:

See the Picture Preview here and see how this $60,000 trip cost $1999 here.


Getting There: It’s about 45 minutes from the airport. I took a taxi and it cost me $35 while an Uber on the way back was $30.


Welcome to Dubai
Welcome to Dubai

Going to Dubai is like a scene of out of Coming to America:

Taxi: Do you want to go to Queens? Rich fellows should be in Manhattan. Stay at the Waldorf or the Palace.

Me: Take us to the most common part.

Taxi: That’s easy. If there’s one thing Queens got a lot of, it’s common parts.

Only in Dubai the common parts are gaudy luxury and stupid man-made islands that serve no purpose. After an interminable journey, we finally arrived at the Waldorf Astoria Dubai which sits isolated at the very end of the Palm Jumeirah. I’ll be the first to admit that I made a mistake booking this hotel for the less than one day layover we had in Dubai. If you’re in Dubai for a short period of time, it makes more sense to stay in the city center so you can go see more of the absurdities of this desert playground for the wealthy. At the same time, there was nothing impressive about this hotel. It can’t be that old but somehow it looked dated. Unlike the Waldorf Shanghai or the Waldorf Chicago, this hotel had no charm. It felt like an impersonal JW Marriott.

The Hotel Itself 

It’s not that the inside isn’t nice, it’s just that I wasn’t impressed. The words ‘too much’ comes to mind.

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Obviously, this is nice
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And this
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But it’s more of the same
Every hotel is 5-star
Every hotel is 5-star
View from the beach
View from the beach
The Waldorf Palm Jumeirah
The Waldorf Palm Jumeirah
Waldorf Dubai
Waldorf Dubai

The Pool

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It just looks hot
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The pool

The Beach

The beach was a joke. I get that’s it man-made but why make it at all if it’s going to be so crammed.

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Looks like a lake
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My home on an another man-made island
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Crammed

The Breakfast 

I’ll continue my rant about Dubai by blasting the Waldorf’s breakfast. I understand that I’m in a Western hotel but why not have some Arabic choices in the buffet? At Le Meridien Pyramids, there was a great combination of Middle Eastern and Western cuisine. Countries like the UAE and Qatar have become so fixated on being ‘the biggest this’ that they have forgotten their identities. It wasn’t long ago that pearls were Dubai’s principal source of revenue.

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The buffet
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The lame mezze
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Sunny-side up, how authentic

The Room 

The negativity ends here. The room was beautiful.

The Burj
The Burj
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Great room
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Waldorf Dubai
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Waldorf Dubai
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Waldorf Dubai
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Waldorf Dubai
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The best feature
Lounge balcony
Lounge balcony

The Bathroom 

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Pure decadence
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Waldorf Dubai
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Waldorf Dubai
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Waldorf Dubai
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Waldorf Dubai
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Waldorf Dubai
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Waldorf Dubai

The Extras

Espresso machine mandatory
Espresso machine mandatory
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I’ll never get the 2 decaf pods
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Waldorf Dubai
Waldorf Astoria Palm Jumeirah Dubai Hotel Review:
Waldorf Dubai

Overall 

This is another Dubai inspired hotel for tourists. There’s nothing to see or do here.

 

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