I hope you are fine with me calling you by your first name. I have received your resume 110,000 times over and am pleased to inform you that we have an immediate spot available for you on our deserted island.
We understand that the last four years have been quite stressful for you so our goal is to make your transition as smooth as possible. Luckily, you are used to standing on the sidelines doing nothing so we trust that you’ll acclimate quite quickly to island life. Recall the tranquility of playing before an empty stadium at the end of the Utah game. That silent retreat will be a daily reality.
You may be wondering what a day in the life of living on a deserted island consists of? Fear not, each day will be a microcosm of a Michigan football season. The day begins with hope from the new area you scouted for fishing but inexplicably produces nothing. Not seeing the results you had anticipated, stick your head in the sand for a quick respite. With no strategy in mind, you can always go for a swim hoping against hope that turns the tide in your favor. Earplugs, like headsets are optional. After another disappointing day, rest assured you’ll awaken to the blurred reality that you’re not living in mediocrity.
Ready to MAC on this B1G paradise?
Respond to this offer before the end of this season and we’ll even allow you to bring along your buddy Dave Brandon.
Don’t worry, you will still be able to enjoy the maize of the sunny skies and the blue of the ocean water but beware of the downpour from the approaching storm crowds washing away all your progress from which your rendition of the Big Sandcastle was built.
Not A Michigan Man