TPOL’s New Home Election: Porto? It’s No Albania


It has been confirmed by Rep. Nunez that my previous election, Vote Where TPOL Moves Next! And I’ll Go There, was compromised by foreign actors. Like Turkish President Erdogan, I have to consolidate power to make sure that the process remains ‘democratic.’ As such, I have revised the list to ten choices. The front-runner is Porto, Portugal, but not by much.

Where should I move? You decide (not BOTS) and I will go.

#CityCountryCost of Living per monthTemperature in December (Celsius)Internet Speed (mbps)SafetyNomad Score

4Las Palmas, Gran CanariaSpain$1420212485%91%
5BragaPortugal $1343153982%93%
8Ko SamuiThailand$1400301580%86%
9Lisbon Portugal$1949151180%78%
Island life? Or city life? You decide.
Island life? Or city life? You decide.


  1. my 5.5 year round the world bicycle trip included albania. in winter. ugh.

    i was near a town called puke (no joke), albania. the snow was snowing and going. i was in a bad, bad place. on dirt roads. with slow sloths passing me. visibility was next to nil. actually, it was nil.

    then, i hear a voice. a woman. she is saying something. but i don’t speak albanian…neither tosk nor gheg. it was sign language. i followed the sign.

    she invited me to her home. for a meal. and ultimately for a night. oh yeah…umm…there were two daughters. run-roh.

    later, a husband came home. he was wtf’ing. the woman explained. he was edgy. we watched belly dancing on tv. then, it was time for bed.

    the women disappeared.

    it was i. and the husband.

    the husband showed me a dagger. he demonstrated its sharpness. he looked at me. with a grimaced face and lowered eyebrows. he, too, then disappeared to bed. and i? nervously disappeared. to my couch.

    i am still alive.

    albania is a great place. just be careful in vomit. i mean…puke.

    • haa and there you go, no albania for me. ill go for a trip but why would i live there for 3 months in the winter? people only voted for it out of spite and if i hadn’t already lived in mongolia, i’d go there just to spite them back but i get better ish to do than be angry these days.

      • Obviously they think you’re a bad hombre and probably want to confiscate your electronic devices and read all your social media posts (including the private ones).

        I voted for Bangkok for selfish reasons (I’d be there year’s end and could have a drink with you). I previously voted for Tirana for the amusement value of it all- I strongly suspected you’d a) do OK no matter what and b) you’d probably redo the vote anyway (as you have demonstrated).

        • Haven’t gotten sick of Bangkok yet, five years after I started going. The New Years Eve I was in Bangkok I was actually staying at the Aloft on Suk 11 (it was a Cat 1 at that point, super cheap on points).

          It’s certainly a good place to be for a party. I rather liked the drinks out of converted VW busses on that soi.

          One NYE was on Ko Samui watching a riot almost break out about getting to Full Moon Party, I think this year’s going to be on Ko Phagnan for FMP, but staying on the other side on Bottle Beach.

          I guess Bangkok might get jejeune if I could actually travel at your speed; day job + other factors means that longhaul travel outside the USA is more a once a year thing. I like Bangkok because it’s easier and cheaper for me to get to on miles during my company’s Christmastime shutdown than Hawaii (!).

        • We are in great agreement today! I too loved the VW buses. After marshal law was declared, those buses went bye-bye. And next time, no aloft. Walking down sukhumvit 11 is exhausting.

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