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Monday, November 4, 2024
HomeAboutSports ReporterWherever You Go, Go Blue: Feckless Words From Yesteryear

Wherever You Go, Go Blue: Feckless Words From Yesteryear

When Bo Schembechler descended from Mt. Sinai he was armed with the Ten Commandments in his left hand and a mantra in his right: Wherever You Go, Go Blue!

Thousands of years later, the saying is still relayed from father to son, mother to daughter, canine to puppy.

Through the years, the words, striking as they are, have lost some of their luster as the University of Michigan has fallen on hard times. The decline started with a loss to a certain mountain range school and has hit the bottom of bottoms with the product you see today, or the product you will most likely see post kickoff at high noon.

Much like questioning scripture, questioning the direction of Michigan’s future by recommending deviations from the past can lead to excommunication by the blind clergy of the Maize and Blue. These powers that be live in a state of denial convinced that the world hasn’t moved on from the teachings of the iconic football prophet who preached “three yards and a cloud of dust.” Instead, they believe the second coming of their savior will arrive by way of a highly touted 5 star running back who will disarm defenses by his willingness to run straight up the middle. This ideology has gone nowhere.

Integration of other religions like the spread offense have been likened to the teachings of scientology, mindless gobbledygook practiced by those who believe in sorcery and witchcraft. Yesterday, a sorcerer all too familiar to the Blue faithful, proved what is possible with commitment, without past interference (pun intended) from the mullahs that wizardry, if left to its own devices, can work.

Meanwhile, the concussed leaders of the best, are wondering why the pews are empty, their disciples are apathetic, and many of the missions to convert new followers have resulted in decommitment.

Today, good battles evil once again as the apostles take the field against the devil himself praying that the energy from pageantry can deliver the faithful from the oppression of those nutty infidels.

Tomorrow, barring a miracle, Michigan will be 3-14 this millennium against its arch enemy, an accomplishment so trivial for its adversary, past participants have chosen to sell winning memorabilia instead of keeping it forever as prized  treasure. Meanwhile the Wolverine elite will look to the skies in disbelief wondering why divine intervention did not elevate their game to where it used to be.

Wake up weaklings! Realize an epic battle cry and timeless fighting fatigues does not mean that time hasn’t marched forward without you. Recognize a conversion from antiquated proverbs to modern philosophy is past due.

Simply put, to remain the winningest program in history, Michigan faces two choices:

  1. Turn away from the teachings of Bo and start a new tradition. Or;
  2. Join the MAC conference.

Go Blue!

go blue
Wherever You Go, Go Blue! Especially in Seychelles.

 

 

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