I have arrived in Mongolia and the exploration of my new life has already begun. The first lesson, my international data roaming package that allowed me to run around the world and blog with no charges does not work in Mongolia. ATNT was the first to welcome me to Mongolia with the text, “rate is up to $19.97/MB”. That’s equivalent to one Facebook status alert.
That’s all for now because I need to go buy some pillows. Those were not comfortable rocks that I slept on last night.
Oh and one more curious observation. Yesterday was August 1st and the bartender said they don’t serve alcohol on the 1st of the month, no drinking ChinggisBeer, but they did serve mixed drinks because they could hide the alcohol. Go figure.
Anyhow, off to my book signing, hope to you see you all there!
Chinggis Khaan Airport Welcomes You
I have arrived in Mongolia and the exploration of my new life has already begun. The first lesson, my international data roaming package that allowed me to run around the world and blog with no charges does not work in Mongolia. ATNT was the first to welcome me to Mongolia with the text, “rate is up to $19.97/MB”. That’s equivalent to one Facebook status alert.
That’s all for now because I need to go buy some pillows. Those were not comfortable rocks that I slept on last night.
Oh and one more curious observation. Yesterday was August 1st and the bartender said they don’t serve alcohol on the 1st of the month, no drinking ChinggisBeer, but they did serve mixed drinks because they could hide the alcohol. Go figure.
Anyhow, off to my book signing, hope to you see you all there!
Cry Baby on Board
There was a cry baby on baord and it wasn’t me complaining about the medicore champagne on Turkish Airlines flight from Istanbul to Seoul. I was seated in a great business class seat ready to pass out after too many days of traveling, not enough sleep, and probably too much to drink.
The business class cabin was empty except for a couple of travelers and a family of four that included a baby. I really wonder how much money people must have to spend on their infant children to travel business.Anyhow, shortly after a great dinner, the crying started and didn’t stop. Compounding the problem was the mom’s tactic of yelling shishhhhhhhh in response to the kid’s sobbing.
This went on for hours and even putting on noise cancelling headphones did not help that much. I eventually fell asleep and dreamt that I was yelling at the parents for being so stupid to fly their kids on business. Had I paid for my ticket as a real businessman I would’ve been extra pissed that my 10 hour flight that was supposed to be relaxing was interrupted by bratty children and unresponsive parents.
When I fly coach, I appreciate the orchestra of the babies crying, the compact seat that tests my contortionist skills, and the extra pack of peanuts that constitue dinner. That’s just a part of flying. But really I don’t think I’m out of line to expect peace even if I didn’t pay for the ticket when I’m sitting in what I think should be ‘adults only section.”
My frustration is not with the baby. Babies cry, that’s what they do but seriously ‘shish’ is the best you could do mommy?
TaxiCab Confessions: The Revelation
There comes a time in man’s life when he has to realize his limitations, no matter how unsettling it is. For me, that time came when I submitted my book, Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong . . . Including Mine, for publication to some of the top dogs in the publishing business. Surely, someone with a unique message and academic pedigree could get a publishing deal. After all, lousy books are printed every day.
I figured that I had a 50 percent chance of success but this was not the case. Alas, everything is not black and gray.
“Nobody knows who you are,” they all said. “You don’t have a blog or twitter account,” they emphasized. They were right about that. Reluctantly, I swallowed my pride and began my online marketing campaign.
“Like my page on Facebook! Or I’m defriending you!” was the best strategy I came up with. Dozens of defriends later, that was a bust.
“But I retweeted you @KingJames, why don’t you retweet that I’m writing a book #comeonman #goblue #maybeiexceededthecharactercount,” I tweeted.
Nobody followed.
Maybe Tumblr is the way to go. No, that’s too old, how about Instagram. “Add more filters, then people will follow you,” my cousin advised. Why do I need filters for a picture of the ocean?!
Instagram also a flop.
Simultaneously, I started this blog and besides hitting refresh a dozen times a day, my views have gone up…a lot. For that I am thankful and relieved.
However, even with all the social media coverage, I knew the real way to get the word out was to pound the pavement and do so anonymously.
And that’s exactly what I did.
As a starving artist trying to make it…Scratch that. As an overeducated scholar trying not to default on my loan obligations, I could not wait for my book to get published, go viral, and keep the creditors off of my back.
I was way behind schedule in completing the book and the bill collectors were growing uneasy. Returning to the office to make ends meet while finishing my writing would have been hypocrisy at its best. How could I promote a lifestyle free of the cubicle while simultaneously staying dependent on it for nourishment?
And that’s when I came up with the granddaddy of them all, a marketing plan that will go down in history as one of the funniest, most inspiring, informative, and somewhat dangerous things I have ever conjured up.
Target demographic: recent college grads who hate their jobs.
Best way to get the word out: speaking to them in person.
The forum: the taxicab and yours truly the taxicab driver.
Here is a basic transcript of a taxi ride:
Passenger: I would like to go to Mint Club in Old Town Scottsdale.
Me: Not a problem.
Turns meter on.
Me: So what do you do?
Passenger: Oh I work at [insert cubicle farm]. I hate it. That’s why I’m going to get wasted tonight.
Me: I hear you. I was a lawyer and couldn’t deal with the daily grind. I’d much rather drive a cab!
Passenger: Wait what?! You’re a lawyer? My friend got a DUI…Wait why are you driving a taxi?
Me: Actually I wrote a comedic self-help book for young disillusioned educated adults who hate the cubicle but don’t know a way out. My publisher said I didn’t have enough likes on Facebook so I came up with this marketing campaign.
Passenger: That’s f@!&ing awesome. I’ll buy a book for sure!
Me: Here’s my card with the website. Follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and whatever Google+ is. And on the back is my number if you need a ride. I work Wednesday through Saturday 4PM to 4AM.
That’ll be $8.50.
Credit card machine processing.
Care to leave a tip?
And that’s just the start of the promo and my life as Alexander Bachuwa JD/MBA/Cabbie began.
Book Giveaway to Guernsey
WordPress analytics gives me some basic Snowden info on where my viewers come from. Next week I’m transitioning to Google Analytics so I’ll really know where you are down to your street address.
That is a joke.
But, over the past few weeks I’ve noticed views coming from the Bailiwick of Guernsey, a dependency of the British Crown in the English Channel off the coast of Normandy. I had to look it up on Wikipedia.
In an effort to ascertain the identity of this supportive individual, I am offering to send him or her a free copy of my book as a thank you. I will not tell the world who you are and if you don’t want to say that is fine too. (Send me a direct message on Twitter if you are interested.)
The post is meant as a thank you to you and everyone in remote places all over the world that I have yet to visit.
Now Boarding All Passengers to…
It was all a dream. A year ago I went into [forced] retirement and decided to focus on completing the book. A year later the book is complete and I’m going back to work.
This time it won’t be in the cubicle so it doesn’t run afoul to the message of Part 2: Take Control of Your Vacation. I’m sitting in Riga International Airport waiting to go to Istanbul for the second time. The first time was March 2013 when I was still a professor of law.
I’m not going to be long winded and reflected on all that has transpired but wow does life happen quickly.
Before I do hunker down and work hard, now that I’ve overdone ‘play hard’, I’m going to enjoy some more points privileges as I try out businesss class on Turkish Airlines to Istanbul then onto Seoul then onto Beijing then Air China to Mongolia.
I cleverly snuck in a 23 hour and 50 minute layover taking advantage of a rule that allows layovers so long as it is under 24 hours. With that ‘free’ time I’m going to stop by the Park Hyatt for some unneeded R&R.
Then it’s off to Mongolia for good. Better yet, for great!
The Truth Is in the Public
When I got the great news that my book, Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong . . . Including Mine, was out, I spammed everyone and anyone to buy it. My end game was to get the word out so I could find out if my writing would sink or swim.
Today I had my first review on Amazon and I’m floored by the words. I’m sure there will be negative ones and I hope there are. Capitalism is built on viability not conformity.
Here is the review:
Anyone, anyone under 40 has to read this book. Alexander does not just give you advice on how to live your life, he has lived it! From every educational degree to every world experience, I’d be hard-pressed to find a similar motivating book that speaks to a professional young or old. Even though no one has the same life, everyone has the same experiences and this is what he exemplifies.
The Press in Riga
The press in Riga isn’t cold. It is a misconception thought by many including myself that Latvia is basically Russia.
While there were periods of Russian occupation, Latvia has been and throughout its history regarded itself to be independent. Telling of its ties to Europe and not Russia is the 3 euro cost for a double espresso. In January 2014, Latvia officially adopted the euro as its currency further marking it’s integration into the European Union.
Another interesting tidbit of information is that Latvia has one of the fastest Internet download and upload speeds in the world. Nothing says Western ideology than Wi-Fi.
And for the final point further proving the atmosphere is far from icy is the architecture. The old town has cobbled streets and quaint buildings that resemble Prague not Putin making it a worthwhile place to visit, even if only for a couple of days.
Book Signing by Demand
I officially launched my book, Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong . . . Including Mine, last Saturday and the response has been overwhelming. We almost crashed the Amazon site in a matter of hours. Sarcasm aside, I am genuinely moved by the showing of support by so many.
The two requests since I put the book on sale are:
1. Will you send me a free copy since we went to summer camp together?
The reality is that I only receive $5.22 profit from a sale so it’s not like I’m racking in the dough from my end. Also, like I wrote before, my intention isn’t to make money, it is to sell as many books as possible to parlay it into a bigger deal to write more books in the future. Sending books for free won’t count towards my sale/NYT Best Seller quota.
2. Can you send me an autographed copy?
That’s a fair request if you want my serial scribble corrupting your hard copy. But it does make the whole thing more special, especially if we did go to grade school together or however we are affiliated.
That’s why I’m pleased to announce that this Saturday I’m not only giving away 100 copies for free but I will also be there ready to sign them.
The book signing will take place at the State Department store between the hours of noon and 6PM.
Here is the address and location on a map:
I Love Sweden!
I love Sweden (exclamation point) because it is Sweden! And I’m not only saying that because I left the bar at 5am and they played a delicious combo of hiphop and house.
I say it because it is a country that is as all countries should be: peaceful, beautiful, and inviting. Everyone is friendly and everyone is accommodating. Let’s contrast this to Scottsdale, Arizona where superficially everyone may be ‘beautiful’ but, that adjective aside, they lack a far superior attribute better known as character. That attribute is something nicer. I call it lovely.
Seriously, the city is pristine compared to the rats and garbage in New York and the buildings are, as George Farah would say, “beautiful”- there goes that word again.
I’m not knocking my home country because I do love the United States but, at the same time, wonder why we can’t be a little more gentler, a little more welcoming, a little more, as we once were- American.
The Book Is on Sale!
The time has come to cash in on my writing. I say that in jest but it is awkward to ask anyone to purchase something that you have personally created.
In the last two years of writing, editing, and publishing I have experienced all sorts of emotions. Happiness because I can put words together to make sentences to make paragraphs to make chapters. Anger because I still find imperfections even though I have read it 1000 times. Resentment because I wasn’t signed by the biggest publishing firms.
And now relief that it is over.
That feeling lasted for two seconds as I obsessively check the sales figures to see how far I am to becoming the next New York Times Best Seller. Calm sets in again as friends send me their amazon.com confirmations that the book is on its way. I actually get paid almost double if it is purchased directly from the publisher but no one can beat Amazon’s convenience.
But cash money was never my motivation for writing this book and it still isn’t. The inspiration came from my friend Brent Dutcher to whom I wrote the following dedication:
I dedicate this book to my buddy Brent Dutcher, who may be the only person who ever reads it, if he even does. I have spent the last three four years trying to convince him that life should be dictated on his own terms and that he does not have to settle for the corporate grind. I hope by reading this book, he is inspired to sell the Trailblazer, leave Michigan, and roll the dice on himself.
Now, my effort has shifted from editing and publishing to getting the word out to as many people as possible because I really believe that the book is funny yet inspirational, witty yet serious, self-help but not smug.
So I humbly ask all my readers to buy a copy, read it, and tell me (and Amazon) honestly what you think. I love the compliments and welcome the criticism.
