We are in the final act of Trent’s iPhone saga. At our last juncture, Trent and Alvin were trying to decide if they should send a letter that would persuade the apparent thief to return Trent his iPhone. Before that decision could be made, Alvin had another breakthrough idea.
Alvin: whats the hotel phone #
Trent: Shit
Alvin: nm i got it
Trent: k
A few moments pass while Alvin is on the phone with the hotel.
Alvin: got his name. Jonnie [redacted]
Trent: lol no way
Alvin: he’s a day employee there
Trent: ahahaha
Alvin: the night manager is a moron
Trent: And he lives at that address??
Alvin: told him that a guy with that address lost his wallet. and i got it
Trent: ahahahahaha
Alvin: and want to return it to him. i gave him my phone #. we are getting closer
Trent: Should I turn the lock screen on the phone to say “Jonnie, I want my phone back”??
Alvin: now we have to be smart
Trent: what do we do now. What do we doooo! Ahhh, he doesn’t have fb. Unless that last name is spelled wrong
Alvin: the last name is spelled right, the first name is not, he says they just call him jonnie but it’s like judnat and he doesnt know how to spell it.
Trent: Motherf@!ker
Alvin: well we know he works there and we know he has your phone
Trent: It was that c*!@sucker that let me into the f@cking room!
Alvin: so tomorrow i call and tell the manager. tell them i have bad news about an employee. i dont want to get law enforcement involved. we don’t press charges or blow up yelp
Trent: i like the yelp angle
Alvin: just want the phone returned. do we give your name? i think jonnie is going to come kill you.
Trent: hmmm, my fb is locked up!
Alvin: add a phony name to your address. and we will have him send it there. simon bolivar?
Trent. yes. My name is fine tho. I don’t care
Alvin: yeah i think your name is fine too
Trent: cant wait for tomorrow! this is great
Alvin: hope u got that finder’s fee. i expect at least $100
Trent: I’ll give u a cut if phone comes back
Alvin: haha ok, go zzzz
Trent: jonnie, Oh Jonnie. He hasn’t turned it on since 9:27pm. I want my cable back too!! lol
October 24, 2013 8:53 am
Alvin: youre phone is in the mail on the way to your home!
Trent: How’d it go down??
Alvin: well, they claim it was found in the parking lot
Trent: It’s been at Jonnie’s house!!
Alvin: she confirmed hte case
Trent: why did Jonnie steal it?!?! And where is cable??
Alvin: he probably found it. and brought it home. then brought it back to work
Trent: lol Jonnie such a nice guy
Alvin: and i want my $
Trent: Yup. He turned it on last night! Had it all week. turned it off when i called
Alvin: poor Jonnie
Trent: hmmm
Alvin: well maybe i spooked him into turning it in
Trent: still don’t get why he took it home on Sunday night, turned it on, turned it off immediately, sat on it all week, turned it on last night, when I called he immediately turned it off, then brought it in this morning
Alvin: because i claled yesterday. and i bet u his boy was like they after u. and he was like oh shit i go turn it in
Trent: hows the manager know so quickly where jonnie stay. like he went into the file cabinet and pulled his info?? theyve been running this scam forever!
Alvin: whatever send me my reward
Trent: Dead phone my ass
Alvin: otherwise im coming to mi and smashing your phone. and then me and jonnie will go take shots
Trent: lol
Alvin: man u shouldve heard me talking. not making any sense. it was hilarious. because how could i say i had his wallet, and then ask where i should turn it in.
Trent: And it would’ve had his name and address lol.
Alvin: im like no i want to turn it in at his work
Trent: yeah and how to spell his name
Alvin: but i was mumbling, guy couldnt understand. “where does he work” the guy asked. i said he worked where i call u
Trent: lol
Alvin: and i got his wallet and i want to give it to him, but i wanna make sure his name matches up. and im not going to his house!
So there you have it folks! Trent did get his iPhone back thanks to the creativity of Alvin. Alvin did get his finder’s fee. And Jonnie, well who knows if Jonnnie was a saint or sinner. Tomorrow, we will cover the many mistakes that Trent made and how you can spare yourself the hassle of going through what he went through. Alternatively, I could give you Alvin’s contact info if you do get into this same situation.
Oh Jonnie!
