Places NOT to Visit 2016

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Every year the NYT puts out their 52 Places to Go. The last two years, TPOL has been ahead of the curve going to their top suggestions including Mexico City and Cape Town before the tourists get there and ruin the party. In the spirit of being hopeful in 2016, I thought I’d provide a list of 7 places you shouldn’t visit this year.

7. Bocas del Toro, Panama

It’s a surfer’s paradise with beautiful beaches. So why shouldn’t you visit Bocas? Because there are only a few ways to get to Bocas from Panama City. The first is the recommended approach, a quick flight which is seldom available during peak season. The other is a hell bus that takes 10 hours and will leave you sore, angry, and disappointed if you arrive only to find days of rain.

Arrive in this
Arrive in this
End up like this
End up like this

6. Macau

Looking for a Vegas party? Do not go to Macau if this is the case. The SAR of China has the world’s biggest casino where Chinese millionaires drop tens of thousands of dollars without showing any emotion. The casinos are eerily quiet and the nightlife consists of brothels posing as night clubs.

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James Bond
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Floor 10 please

5. Phuket, Thailand  

Perhaps one of the most disgusting places on earth is Phuket. Here, like Bangkok, you will find a town riddled with LBHs (losers back home) who make the journey to Asia to pay a young girl for her company during their stay. TPOL is a staunch advocate against sex tourism.

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The famous Soi Crocodile
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Classic LBH behavior

4. Maldives 

Are you looking for overpriced burgers, lousy service, and to pay $500 for a seaplane? Head to the Maldives were your bungalow room will be the only refuge from the hungry wolves looking to take you for every penny.

World's worst burger
World’s worst burger

3. Lake Angelus, Michigan

Perhaps you don’t like your job. Perhaps you are looking to make a change. One place you should not consider regardless of the salary is Lake Angelus, Michigan which is notorious for sucking in employees with a decent starting salary only to have them continue to work there years later with no significant raise. The powerful force of Lake Angelus is too much to even combat TPOL’s top-rated book for getting out of the cubicle.

Enjoy Oscar's: The cubicle-ists favorite bar and grill
Enjoy Oscar’s: The cubicle-ists favorite bar and grill

2. Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia 

Perhaps you think the luxuries of the US are boring. Perhaps you are looking to work in an emerging market. Do not be fooled by thinking that Mongolia is that place especially if you join the wrong firm. Mongolia may be a great place to visit but it is not a great place to work.

Phone a friend
You’ll need to phone a friend to get out of one of the worst decisions of your life
Expat Gym
Expat Gym
Expat housing
Expat housing

1. Luxor, Egypt

Do you like being ripped off? Do you like being called a bad tourist? Head to Luxor where price gouging is the norm.

Old school taxi, old school hustle
Old school taxi, old school hustle

14 COMMENTS

  1. Sorry but I have to disagree with you regarding Phuket. LBHs are not only in Phuket but all over Asia. Unfortunately that is how things work there. I’ve been to several high end hotels in Manila, Bangkok, Ho Chi Minh, Kuala Lumpur, etc… and you will see LBH everywhere and most often in nice hotels. Phuket is probably more evident because it is a tourist location and all the nightlife happens around the same are so the concentration of LBH is probably higher. However, there are amazing hotels and beaches to explore in the area.

  2. I agree with Santastico. You’ll find LBH’s all over Europe, Florida, Asia, Mexico, cruise ships, etc.

    Oh the Soi Crocodile photo I think has been torn down. Those ladies in the photo are likely “ladyboys” as well. Phuket has some nice areas just as the Maldives does. That being said I wouldn’t go way out of my way to go there.

    • Saying there are LBHs in other places doesn’t mean that you are disagreeing with me. I clearly write ‘come to Asia’ and ‘like Bangkok’ so you’re missing my point.

      I put up the pic of Soi Crocodile because it is the ladyboy bar. That’s what makes it ‘famous’. Sad that it’s gone, a must see for all tourists.

  3. I hope Phuket has some redeeming qualities. The wife and I are going there next month on our first trip to Thailand, and she sadly doesn’t let me date.

    • Phuket has enough nice resorts and beaches to shield you from the garbage but I’d never go there when the nicer islands are nearby.

      • That’s what I get for being a cheap ass, I suppose, and wanting to use hotel points instead of cash. Any day trips/excursions you’d suggest? So far, I’m thinking of the monks fair, the rum distillery, possibly snorkeling/scuba and maybe the Phi Phi islands. I’d love a waterfall you can swim in if there is such a thing in the area.
        Also, is there availability for non Thai style massage in general in Thailand, with maybe a more Swedish style? I understand Thai can be very involved, rather than being relaxing. Also, I often try to get couples massages when abroad to avoid any misunderstandings about wanting “extra” services. Is this needed in Thailand, or can you pretty much tell which places are fronts for other businesses?
        Thanks for any advice, by the way.

        • Im of little help on the massage topic but if you go as a couple I’m sure it will be fine.

          The itinerary sounds like fun. I liked koh phi phi but only stayed in phuket for a couple nights waiting for a flight to samui to open, full moon tourist party.

          That was enough to know that I wouldn’t want to go back. And during that time I didn’t do much exploring.

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