I committed a cardinal sin by writing this post: Eat Like A Local: Madrid, Spain. I knew that using the words ‘eat’ + ‘local’ would invite criticism. Readers are predictable. While I can’t help but respond to their nonsense with my counter-nonsense, I also have to thank these nincompoops. First, it’s nice to know that someone is at least opening the article. Second, responding to their comments gives me a break from saving the world (see CFPB Dead! Sorry Musk, Bachuwa Law Still Alive). Finally, ill-informed comments provide content for posts such as this one.
I Am Not a Foodie. And Neither Are You.
Wikipedia defines a foodie as “a person who has an ardent or refined interest in food, and who eats food not only out of hunger but also as a hobby.” Let’s break down this definition. To be a foodie, you first need to have a passion for food. There are times that I am excited about eating, and some times when I do not want to be a fat pig (see The Tahiti Diet: Making the Bungalow Selfie Count). I would argue that having an ardent interest in food is an affliction that requires professional help. Ergo, I do not have an ardent interest in food.
Per the definition, one doesn’t have to either be ardent about food or have a refined interest in food. This is more controversial. What many consider refined, I consider intolerable. How refined does one have to be to appreciate a greasy slice of pizza (see Who Agrees? Detroit Style Pizza Is The Best) or a Coney hot dog (see Detroit Delicious)? While I will concede that the Italian Garden isn’t the gold standard for Olive food (see Times Square: Real Italian Food), I would not want to eat at a Michelin restaurant with any frequency (see Mont Bar Barcelona: Am I Michelin Material?). Ergo, I am not refined.
The final part of this definition states that a foodie eats ‘not only out of hunger, but also as a hobby.’ If my hobby were eating, I would be a 500lb fat guy sitting in a basement blasting Pulitzer Prize quality blogs like The Points Of Life. Stated differently, eating on its own is not a hobby. It is something done in conjunction with another activity e.g., traveling. Ordering oysters and caviar from Uber Eats is not a memorable culinary experience. Ordering them in Tallinn, Estonia is (see Seafood in Estonia: What a Treat).
Having deconstructed the definition, I would like to meet a foodie in person. I wonder if they’ll be as intolerable in person as they are on my blog.
I once got a suspension from FlyerTalk for posting a photo of some Dial foaming hand soap squirted on a coaster at home and saying it was “essence of Lake Trout roe” from a Michelin starred restaurant. Then I called people stupid who bought it and said well look at the crap others post.
I believe in calling food what you think of it. Regardless of what others think or how it’s rated. And I’ll take a coney any day over anything that looks like something that takes dirt off your skin or looks like lube on a cracker.
I hope you don’t starve with the dissolution of USAID.
I won’t need paper towels without food.
You can buy rice at the store. You don’t need to wait for 50lb bags to be thrown off the back of a truck by scared hippies. Or is it quinoa now?
I don’t think you have to be either a glutton or a food snob to be a foodie. I enjoy trying new dishes when I visit different places. Does that make me a foodie? I’m not sure and I don’t sweat the labels. I would say the quintessential foodie was Anthony Bourdain and he wasn’t 500 pounds. Then again you’re also getting a definition from Wikipedia so a grain of salt may be called for here. I’m not sure I’d sweat what some pretentious people have to say about the authenticity of your dining. Kind of an illegitimi non carborundum situation.