Simply the Best: March 2014

After each month I’ll post The List of the Top 7 posts for that month and add in an honorable mention for those that should’ve gotten more love. Obviously, each recap requires a needed book plug for that soon to be released Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong . . . Including Mine right at the top followed by my upworthy pic of the post and a memorable quote. Since I am ecstatic to have just joined Prior2Boarding.com and have seen my daily numbers quadruple in one day, I am going to have to catch everyone up by going way, way back to March 19th when this all began. 1. No One Listens to the Professor  a man wearing glasses in a store 2. ThePointsOfLife Infomercial

a restaurant under the water
“The following is a paid advertisement for Enjoy #ThePointsOfLife. It does not represent the views or opinions of your friends and family.”
3. 30 Days to Maldives
a hot tub on a deck overlooking a body of water
Friends ask me all the time how I travel everywhere for next to nothing. After reading ThePointsOfLife Infomercial you should know the answer is points.
4. Pho No a bowl of soup with meat and vegetables 5. Swamp Water a toy lizard in a glass of liquid 6. Final 4 Free a large crowd of people in a stadium 7. All this can be yours if the points are right . . .  a screenshot of a computer

Man vs. Himself: My 4th of July Hot Dog Eating Contest

In AP English we learned that all novels have the following protagonist vs. antagonist: Man vs. Man Man vs. Nature Man vs. Himself What Mrs. Frillici could not anticipate was yet another antagonist- Man vs. Food (a TV show that was recently taken off the air for the predictability of being stupid on social media). Nonetheless, as the 4th of July is here meaning it is time for the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest. I’m personally boycotting the formal contest until Kobaysahi returns to glory and have used his techniques in the past to guide myself to the Big Mac Eating Contest championship. I was in the middle of nowhere in Montana when I arrived at Lawdogs Saloon appropriately named as the establishment is run by a former sheriff. I overheard a fellow patron ask about a food eating contest and my ears perked up. Moments later, I found myself signing up for the Double Lawdog challenge: 2lbs of dog, 2 buns, and a mound of chili cheese fries that must be completed in an hour. Rather than write the play by play here are some pics and videos to commemorate the occasion and celebrate the 4th of July.

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The Wall of Winners
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The menu
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Scout Report
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The Foe
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Initial Excitement
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The Jalapeno Cheese Hot Dog was a bad idea
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The Tapout
In the end, I lost the challenge hitting the wall of fries at the 20 minute mark but learned a lot for the next life challenge: 1. Do not get spicy jalapeno cheese hot dogs. 2. Fries are a killer 3. Fries are a killer 4. If you are in Elliston, Montana opt for the burger challenge. There are no fries. 5. Running a marathon was easier. Happy 4th of July!

The Prison of Posh

The problem with staying at upscale hotels is that they try to protect you from your own shadow. “Don’t take a taxi off the street, you may get mugged,” the bellman at the Intercontinental in Joberg told me. “You need a security guy with you if you are going to go to see the River Plate soccer match,” the Park Hyatt Buenos Aires cautioned. “Don’t even look out the window!” the manager at the Caesar Park Ipanema warned. Two out of the three above are true but the message has been the same everywhere I stay in style, “Hide your kids, hide your wife.” Thus the conundrum: stifle yourself with 5 star amenities or risk death by breaking free. That is not an exaggeration if you believe the mocking eyes of the concierge that proclaims, “You don’t stand a chance on the outside.” Softened by the swanky points lifestyle, you have lost your travel swagger and all that is left is a shell of your former travel self. How did you ever stay at a 40 person hostel in Europe? How did you go on a nonguided tour of the city? How did you ever take the local bus not a private car from the airport? Putting the dead bolt on the hotel door and connecting to the $35 a day Wi-Fi you type in travel.state.gov and the name of your host country to check the State Department’s travel warning. Your fears are confirmed when you read, “Beware of pickpocketers and locals targeting tourists.”. A quick ring to room service and you are dining in this evening. Danger averted. Points opened the world of travel to me because it eliminated the fundamental hindrance of gallivanting across the globe- money. But the more skilled I became at the points game the more I realized that I was doing a disservice to myself. What I found besides well appointed rooms and rain showers both onboard and on the ground was that I had lost sight of the reason I traveled in the first place- adventure. It is true that there is a certain element of danger from leaving your palazzo to intermingle with the peasants but this is justified by the people you meet, the trouble you encounter, and the bad decisions that, without exception, lead to great stories. “Yeah hi, room service? Yes, cancel that order. I am going out tonight.”

a plane parked at an airport
There’s more to life than loungin.
   

Simply The Best: Joining the Big Leagues with my 100th Post

Signing that letter of intent to play football at the University of Michigan, being passed over by the Detroit Lions, and getting that max contract from the Detroit Tigers, all have one thing in common: it’s the best day of a player’s life. The same can be said about ThePointsOfLife joining the BoardingArea family as part of their spin-off site Prior2Boarding. While I have built an obscene amount of followers on my own on by force or threat of force (308 on Facebook, 647 on Twitter, 80 on Instagram, and 5 on Tumblr), I’m delighted that I got the call-up to join the majors. Although it may have been possible to reach 10 Tumblr followers doing it solo, I’ll gladly take a Lebron pay cut to join a winning team. The viewership of BoardingArea is unbelievable and the level of support from bloggers and the development team on the back end is second to none. It is no coincidence that this is also my 100th blog post, a milestone that is amplified by this great opportunity.

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Oh happy day

Judgment Day

It’s judgment day today for my World Cup Expat dreams, the day I send off my passport to the Consulate of Mongolia to obtain my work visa. Sending off my passport for visas, extra pages via agency or on my own always gives me anxiety. 1. Will my passport get lost in the mail? The OfficeDepot man suggested USPS so I ran out of there right away. 2. Did I fill out the application correctly? Are my passport photos too angry? Is my penmanship, that of a serial killer, going to delay the processing? 3. Where do I even send this application? 3. Will they process my application on time? Will it arrive at my house on time before I leave? 5. Do I have enough blank pages for the few countries I will visit before my migration? I’ve already discussed at length my visa problems in Sudan and most recently MJ’s in China. Judgment Day is here and I hope it goes well. IMG_20140702_105006

My Bag Is Where?

In the last ten days I flew 26,000 miles from the US to the Middle East to Shanghai to Bali to Singapore and back. I flew on Shower Class on Emirates and Suite Class on Singapore Airlines all without incident. Then stateside my good fortune ran out. While boarding a prop plane from Seattle to Great Falls, Montana, I had to check my carry on because the overhead bins were not large enough. I arrived in Montana and heard the flight attendant announce that Alaska Airlines ‘Values your time and will award a $25 voucher or 2500 Alaska Miles if you have to wait more than 25 minutes to claim your bag.’ Exhausted from two days straight of travel, I went down to the baggage claim, where I proceeded to wait and wait and wait. The bag never showed up and I was told by an agent that it was accidentally sent to Helena, Montana- 85 miles away. Tweets @AlaskaAir were never returned and hours later, I finally got my carry on bag. Bags do get lost from time to time but I found it remarkable with all my layovers, stopovers, taxi rides, motorbike adventures, I never lost anything but on one of the smallest, shortest flights, my bag was diverted. The only thing left to do now is calculate the number of free miles Alaska owes me. Let’s see 25 minute delay=2500 miles so 4 hours delay equals…another free flight on Emirates? Maybe I all I do is complain.

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Stock photo from previous trip

It’s Thanksgiving…Without the Annoying Relatives

Singapore Airlines Suite Class really is the way to fly. You have your own room, your own endless flow of Krug Grande Cuvee champagne which I prefer much more to Dom Perignon, and way too much scrumptious food. I have found that true luxury and peace of mind comes in the combination of one letter and three numbers- a380. This was true of my Emirates Shower Class flight and of my present time in the air. The Internet is a ripoff at $15 for 15MB making me yearn for my days of flying SWA. The lacking element of this flight is the unavailability of the World Cup at 38,000 feet as was the case on the Singapore First Class 777 flight. Watching the Nigeria and Algeria game while enjoying luxuries that I do not deserve was worth the intrusion of not having my own suite. The dinners on both of these flights included lobster, caviar, rack of lamb- a bunch of photos I will upload at a later time when I do not have to worry about  bandwidth.  Capture In the end, I am overfed, tipsy, and tired. But, unlike holidays I don’t have to deal with family drama, whining children, and who will be the designated driver- I have a decorated captain to take care of that. Well it looks like I’ve burned through my data but I might as well pay a few dollars extras to finish this post then go to sleep till they serve Christmas breakfast. Happy Holidays          

Ephedrine? Young Lady? Happy Ending?

10454500_10103845541835231_4906012452624339969_o Motorbike boss? No thanks.  Ephedrine? Young lady? Happy ending? The following words have been used to describe Bali: san‎ctuary, oasis, retreat. Here is another: tragic. The picturesque seaside lined with posh resorts is the sleight of hand meant to cover up the ills of an island marred by drugs, sex trafficking, and an apathetic regard for humanity. That is not an exaggeration nor a dramatization of day-to-day life for so many of Bali’s inhabitants. At the same time, it is not a condemnation of the Balinese people who are overwhelmingly hospitable and kind. This isn’t ground breaking news of the reality in Bali, Phuket, Boracay, or any other pristine beach comm‎unity in Southeast Asia. Likewise, it isn’t a cautionary tale for struggling economies who bait tourists with cheap alcohol, affordable accommodations, and nonstop parties. The opportunity cost of that tradeoff is well documented. This is a critique of the rich and powerful who prostitute communities for the all mighty dollar. The solicitation of tourists by creating a safe haven for illicit activity is no different than the vices offered by that jack of all trades taxicab driver who is also the local drug dealer and pimp. The trickledown effect of a mercenary tourism strategy may, in gross, create wealth for the country, and may create jobs for working in the service industry, but the negative externalities create a net loss for the community as a whole. Emblematic of the epidemic that plagues tourist reliant countries is the street Poppies II, the pipeline that links the party street of Ku‎ta, to the peace of the ocean. There are the laborers who work tirelessly in the mini marts, tolerating the drunken tourists in order to earn a nominal wage. There are the vendors in the souvenir shops who bargain all day to sell all sorts of goods, real and fake, for next to nothing. ‎Then there are the motorbike drivers who without hesitation or embarrassment offer Cialis and Viagra to everyone and anyone. They are surrounded by honest and not so honest women who parrot the line “massage”. Yet even among all the filth, the locals still put out their daily offering to their Gods, a symbol of gratitude. So what has Bali become besides the perfect honeymoon destination? A haven for drug dealers who operate with ‎impunity, a den of drug addicts who wander the streets at all hours, and a prostitution ring of women whose ages are unverifiable. While the solution is not found in cynicism it is hard to be hopeful because everyone is to blame and nobody is willing to act. The government will continue to sell ocean front property to hotel chains‎, a mutually beneficial exchange that provides no incentive for either side to demand change. The tourists will still come to those resorts rationalizing that their dollars help not hurt the economy overall. The motorbike driver and massage madame will‎ continue to proposition, as they are not educated nor empowered to do anything else. And in the middle of it all, the Balinese people will continue to hope as it is not in their nature to complain.

I Am Delayed

I am writing this post from a small corner of the ANA Suite Lounge in Tokyo as I wait for my Singapore Airlines Suite Class flight to Los Angeles aboard an A380. I have many more hours to go before I am pampered by the best airline in the world. The flight here was on a 777 and I got to watch the World Cup while sipping on Dom Perignon with lobster for dinner. The full review and pics will come later. My flight home is not delayed, my upworthy title refers to my book, Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong . . . Including Mine that is once again with the editors who are finalizing the interior design. The process of writing a book, then editing and editing, was only half the battle. The rest was the cover design, interior design, and next up ‘marketing materials’. At this point, I’m done projecting a release date because it would be as arbitrary as the flight numbers on the departure board. We appreciate your patience. Please continue to hold and the next available agent will be with you momentarily. Off to sleep  I go. IMG_20140630_233440

Your Fee to Leave

You’re not free to leave because you have to pay the fee. Philippines, Costa Rica, and Bali, Indonesia all charge this nonsense departure tax that is supposed to support airport infrastructure or youth development programs or whatever catchy line the agent tells you the day you are departing. I don’t care that they are charging even if it is a sham and they are doing nothing but taxing rich tourists. That is fine with me. My issue is why it isn’t included within the air fare or charged as part of the visa on arrival (and departure) so that I’m not fumbling around for Rupiahs that I just haphazardly spent on 4 San Miguels before getting to the airport. Graciously, they do accept American dollars so I managed to get by Zacchaeus and board my plane to Singapore, an economical interlude aboard Air Asia before my suite class flight on Singapore Airlines. Keep churning my friends. IMG_20140630_161044