What Would You Do for Book Sales?
Admittedly, I started this blog to promote the release of my book, Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong . . . Including Mine. That still is my main objective but I have also had a lot of fun writing about all sorts of topics not found in the book. As I wrote before, social media seems to be of critical importance to publishers because it means that there is already an audience for the book, minimizing the risks associated with publication.
Besides trying to write scholarly articles on a daily basis, I needed a way to create a buzz, a disruption that would go viral, bring more people to my blog, have them fall in love with the one of a kind content, thereby allowing me to reach my goal of selling millions of books.
For the past two months I have been pounding the pavement with my clever marketing campaign and am almost ready to reveal what I have done in an effort to sell books.
That announcement will be coming in the next couple of weeks as the release date of my book becomes more certain.
For now, I will open the floor to any guesses. Those that know me personally, please don’t ruin the surprise.
I’ll give you a clue, it is associated with the first few words of Michigan’s fight song, “The Victors.”
Hail!
Since I cannot personally go to SE Asia with Mikey and show him the ladyboy bars in Bangkok…
Remember when you saw Coming to America the first time or tried princess chicken for the first time at Empress of China when you visited Flint, Michigan? That and experiencing other firsts is why I continue to travel and seek new adventures in new places. While I love going back to a country that I have visited before, nothing compares to the first time in a new city.
The next best thing to going to a place that lives up to the hype is to travel with a friend who has never been there before. My best friend, Michael Jeries is the lucky bastard that gets to travel for the first time to Southeast Asia any day now. He has no set itinerary, just a list of countries. In fact, he even forgot to pick up a visa to enter Vietnam- a rookie mistake you would think he would’ve learned from after our Brazil New Year’s disaster.
Since I cannot personally go to SE Asia with him and show him the ladyboy bars in Bangkok, Thailand, I am going to do the next best thing and publish a guide of the top things he must see in the cities he is visiting.
Cambodia: My least favorite country in SE Asia. Calm down all you backpackers who found your soul or discovered yourselves while touring Angkor Wat. Cambodia was the last country I visited in SE Asia and I ended up with food poisoning after drinking bad ice. Ironically, I took a picture of the menu that said “we use clean ice” as a joke before I had my bucket of rum and coke and then the chills and death set in.
- See Angkor Wat: All soul-searching weirdness aside, Angkor Wat is a must see, an astounding example of what man is capable of.
- Skip Sihanoukville: Although Majid and I had a great time drinking 25 cent beers and lounging on the beach, this hippie beach town is probably worth skipping in lieu of other beaches on this list.
Bali, Indonesia
- See Bali Kuta: Please go to the Bounty Hotel and drink FGD all day at the pool while listening to the customary backpacker tracks played by the resident DJ.
- Skip Nightlife in Seminyak: Why take the dangerous motorbike all the way to this ritzy part of Bali when Sky Garden Bali plays your favorite hiphop every night. Club KU DE TAH was a nice establishment right on the water but lacked the fun.
- Maybe: Maybe you should do something besides drink and party in Kuta and see the rest of this beautiful island, Mikey. I know Brent and I planned on climbing a volcano to see the sunrise but ended up detoured by those FGD.
- Hanoi: There’s a street of pho and more pho. Ask the locals as I was too stupid to write down the name but pho sure worth the visit. See what I did there?
- Ha Long Bay: If you see anything in Vietnam, see Ha Long Bay. It looks like a scene from Pirates of the Caribbean from the outside and a scene from Batman on the inside.
- Ho Chi Minh:
Skip Shooting Guns: You do that enough at home.
Secret: Pho locations. Will have to wait for the top ten list to be done or private message me lol.
Thailand: I’ve been here many times before but you tell me where else to go besides Koh Phangan, Koh Samui, Phi Phi Islands, Bankgkok, and Phuket since you’re going to be living there.
Last tip! No matter where you go, just say no!
#7: Pho Peace Summit: Shanghai, China
Hoang Sa Islands? Xisha Islands? Let’s settle it over a bowl of pho.
The Paracel Islands have been in the news over the past few weeks not because of their tropical beaches or iconic full moon parties. The flora and fauna of the islands is of little concern to either side. The dispute is over the rights to the potential oil reserves around the islands and control of the South China Sea waterway. In this ongoing dispute between Vietnam and China, China claims the uninhabited archipelago known to them as the Xisha Islands belongs to them while Vietnam claims that the Hoang Sa Islands is rightfully theirs.
There are serious implications in regards to the outcome of this dispute. If China maintains the globally unpopular position that the islands are theirs and the international community cannot arrange a compromise, they will tighten their grip as the world’s emerging superpower. The precedent set if their actions go unchecked and will mirror those of Putin who defied the Budapest Memorandum on Security Assurances and annexed Crimea as part of Russia. By all accounts, Putin’s appetite to restore Mother Russia remains unsatisfied as he has his eyes set on other parts of Ukraine and even Moldova. The same can be said about China, a country that has territorial disputes with the Philippines, Taiwan, and Japan. These countries are more capable foes than Vietnam given their own militaries and U.S. backing making the outcome in the Paracel Islands ever more critical. Make no mistake, China is using the Paracel Island dispute as a test case of what they can do without international reprimand.
The natural culmination of this interesting tug of war ends with the professor’s peace accord. The complexities of the negotiation require both sides to come to the table and engage in a meaningful discussion. Such talks cannot commence on an empty stomach. Pho peace to prevail, I propose setting a meeting at the 7th best place in the world to get pho– Shanghai, China.
Pho Sizzling’s uncompromising flavor and cost-conscious menu will placate China’s desire to swallow whole the sovereignty of its neighbors.
The Cake of My Life
I’m feeling so blessed to have so many people tell me happy birthday on Facebook.
No, no, no, I will not write that and really can’t deal with people that do. I do appreciate when I get the annual Happy Birthdays but really enjoy when they have at least some personalized message.
For example, my friend wrote “Happy Birthday jackass” which is more thoughtful than a nondescript “Happy Birthday”.
I turned 32 today which is great because I am finally getting old enough to justify being the angry, old man I have always been.
Anyhow, the reason for this post is to use my blog to ensure that my birthday wish comes true; sell 1 million copies of my book Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong . . . Including Mine which is due out in less than a month.
Happy Birthday to me, now please buy my book!
Arabs Fight Over Who Makes the Best Kebab
Americans compete over who makes the best bbq, Vietnamese the best pho, and us Arabs, we fight over who makes the best kebab.
Kebab, kebab, kebab, that’s all I’ve heard all week since my parents came to visit. Even though I currently live in Arizona, home to tasty Mexican food (shout out to Los Betos late night drive thru) my mom made it clear that she did not want to go to a Mexican restaurant the day she arrived.
She wanted kebab.
With that, the marathon of kebab began.
Stop 1: The Persian Room in North Scottsdale:
This used to be the go to place for kebab in the Valley. With generous portions, great prices, and a bustling dining room, anyone who was anyone in the kebab community came here for Iranian kebab.
Then tragedy struck The Persian Room; they got a new oven. If ice cream is to apple pie then bread is to kebab. While one may be able to survive without the other, the synergistic effect of the two is immeasurable.
The Persian Room for an inexplicable, baffling, and inexcusable reason decided to change their oven from one that used to produce hot, fluffy, delicious bread to some Set It And Forget It contraception where the bread comes out flat and dry.
Picture your favorite puppy before and after falling into the pool.
Without the trusty sidekick of bread with kebab, my parents and I enjoyed a deflated dinner of kebab.
Stop 2: Pars Restaurant in North Scottsdale:
Pars is another Iranian kebab palace in Arizona. Iranians lay claim to making the best kebab but as an Iraqi I beg to differ. Historically, this has been a subject of great dispute. See Iran-Iraq War 1980-1988.
Preaching for peace in the Middle East, my parents and I broke bread (slightly fluffier than The Persian Room) at Pars while waiting for or kebab to arrive.
Out comes the kebab, all tender and juicy, but wait! Where is the mint, basil, and sweet onion? If ice cream enhances apple pie, then whip cream makes it orgasmic. Same analogy holds true with kebab depending on your bonus toping of the aforementioned three.
For me it is sweet onion, of which Pars had none.
For my dad it is basil, of which Pars had none.
For my mom it is mint, of which Pars had none.
The critically observant kebab critics left stuffed but slightly unsatisfied.
Stop 3: My Uncle’s House:
What’s a vacation without family? What’s a family invite without kebab?
My uncle laughed at our Persian experience and welcomed the prodigal sons and daughters back to the land of Iraqi kebab. Combining the best of both worlds, Iraqi and American, he fired up the grill and set fire to the freshly prepared kebab.
I Speak Autocorrect
So my parents are visiting this week making airing (writing) p oats posts difficult. I still use my blackberry but I can’t use it to ride posts.
So I’m using this great HTC m8 to write a post and complain.
I’ve already but backspace 100 times and I’m about to give up.
I have two points to make:
1. Autocorrect is terrible. While we all knew this it goes beyond bad word selection. Why doesn’t Autocorrect be grammar correct abs intuitively use plausible words. Yes it used abs not and.
2. Signature lines. I apologize for any errors. Sent from iPhone
Sorry that isn’t a valid excuse for laziness and for blaming your dumb smart phone. It’s bad enough no one uses words anymore, opting for smileys. And lol. That you can’t even read your emails. Perhaps laziness is not the culprit and Autocorrect is to blame.
Perhaps we should all switch back to blackberry
My excuse to blame Autocorrect
Canada Gave Us The CFL! Please Don’t Take It Away
In the world of sports there is nothing that compares to football. No I’m not talking about international football, known to us Yankees as soccer, nor am I talking about Australian rules football, better known as who knows what, nor am I talking about American football, better known as real football.
No my friends, I am talking about Canadien Football-the CFL. What is more entertaining than the CFL, I dare you to answer.
Doug Flutie, Maurice Clarett, and all those other legends make the CFL a must watch every Sunday (I think they play on Sunday). The field is longer, there are 3 downs instead of 4 and I think they measure stuff in meters not yards.
But, tragedy may strike this great game in the form of a strike. No great sport is immune to strikes from baseball, to basketball (twice), to NHL hockey, to the NFL (refs). Strikes are a part of business and a part of life but I can only hope and pray that the CFL doesn’t go on strike.
This year I really think that the Hamilton Tiger-Cats have a chance to win it all. Only the devil’s intervention of a strike could make this great dream turn into a horrible nightmare.
So please world, join in and pray with me that the strike doesn’t happen. Maybe their savior will come in the form of God’s second son, Tim Tebow.
This blog was written for my cousin George, the only person who watches the CFL.
Do You Have a Visa?
The U.S. passport is the gold standard of passports, or so I used to believe. In 2007 my friends and I were supposed to go to Brazil for New Years only yours truly was unaware of the visa entry requirement forcing us to cancel the trip just two day before departing.
Back then the word visa conjured up memories of my parents immigrating to the United States. So why as an American would I ever require this document just to go on vacation?
The answer is reciprocity and politics; The US government forces visitors to have one so they, in turn, require Americans to have one as well. Fair enough, that’s not the point of this post.
The point is since the Brazil debacle, I have always checked and rechecked the entry requirements for every country because I do not want to ever experience that sick feeling from 2007. But, even with my due diligence, I still encounter trouble and inconvenience.
This brings me to the interesting nightmare I experienced when I was traveling from Istanbul, Turkey to Seychelles. The routing, due to a free points ticket, was a bit unconventional and included a stopover in Khartoum, Sudan.
Sudan isn’t the safest place in the world right now and they do require a visa for tourists wanting to visit. I did not, I was simply passing through.
A Vacationer’s Guide to Vacation
It’s been a longstanding tradition for me to go somewhere out of the country for New Year’s. The tradition started way back in 2001 when I went to Cancun then the expedition meekly shifted to our great neighbor to the north, Canada.
In 2002, we went to the legendary club Guvernment in Toronto (finally closing after 20 years). To be fair, I was only twenty at the time. After losing my best friends shortly after the NYE countdown, I spent the rest of the night wandering around this monstrosity of a nightclub.
The year after, my best friend Mikey and I went to Montreal for New Years. It was absolutely freezing. Our days consisted of sleep and our nights consisted of drink.
All in all it was a miserably cold, great time. I had the chance to visit Montreal in the summer. I highly recommend deferring till then.
So why do I love Montreal in the winter? The answer can be summarized in one word: guilt. Actually, it is lack of guilt.
The problem with traveling is the guilt that consumes you if you spend all day in bed after staying out all night long. Even with the blackout curtains, you know there is a city to explore, a beach to wade in, and a pool party to…party in?
Prepositional faux pas aside, there must be a strategy for going on vacation, seeing the sites, and partying all night.
Luckily for you, my dear blog readers, I have come up with said strategy. It is called Take Control of Your Vacation and is a philosophy that not only applies to trips but also applies to life. See Part II of my book Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong.
Here are some tips on how to go on a trip, live it up, and avoid that feeling of guilt from not seeing everything you can whether it be the attractions in the day or the atmosphere at night.
Strategy 1: Stay in One City for 3 Nights at the Most.
The original strategy called for staying in a city for only 2 nights. It was geared at partygoers who wanted to travel to many cities in a trip but became fatigued from hopping from city to city. The rationale behind staying two nights is as follows:
Night 1: I just got to this new city, it’s my first night here, I have to go out!
Night 2: It’s my last night in this city, I have to go out!
I have expanded it to 3 nights because there is more to traveling than partying. By applying the 2 night strategy, you can, at the least, go out 2 nights, while saving 1.5 days for seeing the sites. The same rationale applies to tourist attractions. “Oh, I’ll climb the volcano in Bali later on, we have 11 nights here.”
Result: One more FGD drink at Bounty Bar.
Strategy 2: The Big Jambox
Tired, beaten, worn down? Maybe you’ll just hit the snooze and skip out on the day. Maybe you glance over your phone and convince yourself that partly cloudy really means rain so you can give yourself a snow day.
With the same amount of energy that allowed you to check the weather on your phone, turn on Spotify, and play that overplayed vacation theme.
That will immediately get you out of bed, day or night and get you back to doing what you are supposed to be doing- exploring.
Take Control of Your Vacation my friends or visit Montreal or Mongolia in the winter.
Do I need to comment? Brazil is synonymous with celebration
The 2014 FIFA World Cup is upon us and I am ready to go. Whether I actually do is another topic altogether. The World Cup highlights the best things in life and therefore encapsulates the whole idea behind ThePointsOfLife.
I will show how my blog is unique section by section, using the World Cup to hit all categories.
1. Points
That word either intrigues you or turns you off to the site. Points lovers and points haters both have expressed the viewpoint that there needs to be more or less emphasis on points in ThePointsOfLife.
As a pointsoholic, I say to the lovers, your wish is my command but caution, as I have always done, that points travel is only Step 1. To the haters, I plead please read the post Living Doesn’t Have to Suck: 5 Myths About Earning Points. In all seriousness, apply for a couple of cards, take one business class flight for free, and if you’re not hooked, I’ll refund you your time. If that doesn’t convince you, skip this section and move on to the rest, guaranteed to be points free.
So what’s the relationship between points and the World Cup? Simple, the World Cup will cost thousands of dollars to attend and flying to Brazil will certainly not be cheap. Furthermore, the World Cup is held in various cities throughout the giant country of Brazil so flying around the country to visit various stadiums will be a big expense.
6. Pho?
Haha, did not get a chance to try it. I welcome a reader’s review.
7. Sport
Obviously, the reason you are going to Brazil in the first place. It will be interesting to see how Brazil handles the record number of people in regards to the security concerns.
I have never been to a match in Brazil but did go to a regular season game in Buenos Aires, Argentina. The hotel recommended that we buy tickets through their vendor and we were escorted via private security at the stadium to avoid the hooligans.
I’m skeptical if security was necessary but the fact that visiting fans are not allowed to attend games made me think twice about not having it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOdVECw8RMY&feature=youtu.be
