Americans compete over who makes the best bbq, Vietnamese the best pho, and us Arabs, we fight over who makes the best kebab.
Kebab, kebab, kebab, that’s all I’ve heard all week since my parents came to visit. Even though I currently live in Arizona, home to tasty Mexican food (shout out to Los Betos late night drive thru) my mom made it clear that she did not want to go to a Mexican restaurant the day she arrived.
She wanted kebab.
With that, the marathon of kebab began.
Stop 1: The Persian Room in North Scottsdale:
This used to be the go to place for kebab in the Valley. With generous portions, great prices, and a bustling dining room, anyone who was anyone in the kebab community came here for Iranian kebab.
Then tragedy struck The Persian Room; they got a new oven. If ice cream is to apple pie then bread is to kebab. While one may be able to survive without the other, the synergistic effect of the two is immeasurable.
The Persian Room for an inexplicable, baffling, and inexcusable reason decided to change their oven from one that used to produce hot, fluffy, delicious bread to some Set It And Forget It contraception where the bread comes out flat and dry.
Picture your favorite puppy before and after falling into the pool.
Without the trusty sidekick of bread with kebab, my parents and I enjoyed a deflated dinner of kebab.
Stop 2: Pars Restaurant in North Scottsdale:
Pars is another Iranian kebab palace in Arizona. Iranians lay claim to making the best kebab but as an Iraqi I beg to differ. Historically, this has been a subject of great dispute. See Iran-Iraq War 1980-1988.
Preaching for peace in the Middle East, my parents and I broke bread (slightly fluffier than The Persian Room) at Pars while waiting for or kebab to arrive.
Out comes the kebab, all tender and juicy, but wait! Where is the mint, basil, and sweet onion? If ice cream enhances apple pie, then whip cream makes it orgasmic. Same analogy holds true with kebab depending on your bonus toping of the aforementioned three.
For me it is sweet onion, of which Pars had none.
For my dad it is basil, of which Pars had none.
For my mom it is mint, of which Pars had none.
The critically observant kebab critics left stuffed but slightly unsatisfied.
Stop 3: My Uncle’s House:
What’s a vacation without family? What’s a family invite without kebab?
My uncle laughed at our Persian experience and welcomed the prodigal sons and daughters back to the land of Iraqi kebab. Combining the best of both worlds, Iraqi and American, he fired up the grill and set fire to the freshly prepared kebab.
Arabs Fight Over Who Makes the Best Kebab
I Speak Autocorrect
So my parents are visiting this week making airing (writing) p oats posts difficult. I still use my blackberry but I can’t use it to ride posts.
So I’m using this great HTC m8 to write a post and complain.
I’ve already but backspace 100 times and I’m about to give up.
I have two points to make:
1. Autocorrect is terrible. While we all knew this it goes beyond bad word selection. Why doesn’t Autocorrect be grammar correct abs intuitively use plausible words. Yes it used abs not and.
2. Signature lines. I apologize for any errors. Sent from iPhone
Sorry that isn’t a valid excuse for laziness and for blaming your dumb smart phone. It’s bad enough no one uses words anymore, opting for smileys. And lol. That you can’t even read your emails. Perhaps laziness is not the culprit and Autocorrect is to blame.
Perhaps we should all switch back to blackberry
My excuse to blame Autocorrect
Canada Gave Us The CFL! Please Don’t Take It Away
In the world of sports there is nothing that compares to football. No I’m not talking about international football, known to us Yankees as soccer, nor am I talking about Australian rules football, better known as who knows what, nor am I talking about American football, better known as real football.
No my friends, I am talking about Canadien Football-the CFL. What is more entertaining than the CFL, I dare you to answer.
Doug Flutie, Maurice Clarett, and all those other legends make the CFL a must watch every Sunday (I think they play on Sunday). The field is longer, there are 3 downs instead of 4 and I think they measure stuff in meters not yards.
But, tragedy may strike this great game in the form of a strike. No great sport is immune to strikes from baseball, to basketball (twice), to NHL hockey, to the NFL (refs). Strikes are a part of business and a part of life but I can only hope and pray that the CFL doesn’t go on strike.
This year I really think that the Hamilton Tiger-Cats have a chance to win it all. Only the devil’s intervention of a strike could make this great dream turn into a horrible nightmare.
So please world, join in and pray with me that the strike doesn’t happen. Maybe their savior will come in the form of God’s second son, Tim Tebow.
This blog was written for my cousin George, the only person who watches the CFL.
Do You Have a Visa?
The U.S. passport is the gold standard of passports, or so I used to believe. In 2007 my friends and I were supposed to go to Brazil for New Years only yours truly was unaware of the visa entry requirement forcing us to cancel the trip just two day before departing.
Back then the word visa conjured up memories of my parents immigrating to the United States. So why as an American would I ever require this document just to go on vacation?
The answer is reciprocity and politics; The US government forces visitors to have one so they, in turn, require Americans to have one as well. Fair enough, that’s not the point of this post.
The point is since the Brazil debacle, I have always checked and rechecked the entry requirements for every country because I do not want to ever experience that sick feeling from 2007. But, even with my due diligence, I still encounter trouble and inconvenience.
This brings me to the interesting nightmare I experienced when I was traveling from Istanbul, Turkey to Seychelles. The routing, due to a free points ticket, was a bit unconventional and included a stopover in Khartoum, Sudan.
Sudan isn’t the safest place in the world right now and they do require a visa for tourists wanting to visit. I did not, I was simply passing through.
A Vacationer’s Guide to Vacation
It’s been a longstanding tradition for me to go somewhere out of the country for New Year’s. The tradition started way back in 2001 when I went to Cancun then the expedition meekly shifted to our great neighbor to the north, Canada.
In 2002, we went to the legendary club Guvernment in Toronto (finally closing after 20 years). To be fair, I was only twenty at the time. After losing my best friends shortly after the NYE countdown, I spent the rest of the night wandering around this monstrosity of a nightclub.
The year after, my best friend Mikey and I went to Montreal for New Years. It was absolutely freezing. Our days consisted of sleep and our nights consisted of drink.
All in all it was a miserably cold, great time. I had the chance to visit Montreal in the summer. I highly recommend deferring till then.
So why do I love Montreal in the winter? The answer can be summarized in one word: guilt. Actually, it is lack of guilt.
The problem with traveling is the guilt that consumes you if you spend all day in bed after staying out all night long. Even with the blackout curtains, you know there is a city to explore, a beach to wade in, and a pool party to…party in?
Prepositional faux pas aside, there must be a strategy for going on vacation, seeing the sites, and partying all night.
Luckily for you, my dear blog readers, I have come up with said strategy. It is called Take Control of Your Vacation and is a philosophy that not only applies to trips but also applies to life. See Part II of my book Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong.
Here are some tips on how to go on a trip, live it up, and avoid that feeling of guilt from not seeing everything you can whether it be the attractions in the day or the atmosphere at night.
Strategy 1: Stay in One City for 3 Nights at the Most.
The original strategy called for staying in a city for only 2 nights. It was geared at partygoers who wanted to travel to many cities in a trip but became fatigued from hopping from city to city. The rationale behind staying two nights is as follows:
Night 1: I just got to this new city, it’s my first night here, I have to go out!
Night 2: It’s my last night in this city, I have to go out!
I have expanded it to 3 nights because there is more to traveling than partying. By applying the 2 night strategy, you can, at the least, go out 2 nights, while saving 1.5 days for seeing the sites. The same rationale applies to tourist attractions. “Oh, I’ll climb the volcano in Bali later on, we have 11 nights here.”
Result: One more FGD drink at Bounty Bar.
Strategy 2: The Big Jambox
Tired, beaten, worn down? Maybe you’ll just hit the snooze and skip out on the day. Maybe you glance over your phone and convince yourself that partly cloudy really means rain so you can give yourself a snow day.
With the same amount of energy that allowed you to check the weather on your phone, turn on Spotify, and play that overplayed vacation theme.
That will immediately get you out of bed, day or night and get you back to doing what you are supposed to be doing- exploring.
Take Control of Your Vacation my friends or visit Montreal or Mongolia in the winter.
Do I need to comment? Brazil is synonymous with celebration
The 2014 FIFA World Cup is upon us and I am ready to go. Whether I actually do is another topic altogether. The World Cup highlights the best things in life and therefore encapsulates the whole idea behind ThePointsOfLife.
I will show how my blog is unique section by section, using the World Cup to hit all categories.
1. Points
That word either intrigues you or turns you off to the site. Points lovers and points haters both have expressed the viewpoint that there needs to be more or less emphasis on points in ThePointsOfLife.
As a pointsoholic, I say to the lovers, your wish is my command but caution, as I have always done, that points travel is only Step 1. To the haters, I plead please read the post Living Doesn’t Have to Suck: 5 Myths About Earning Points. In all seriousness, apply for a couple of cards, take one business class flight for free, and if you’re not hooked, I’ll refund you your time. If that doesn’t convince you, skip this section and move on to the rest, guaranteed to be points free.
So what’s the relationship between points and the World Cup? Simple, the World Cup will cost thousands of dollars to attend and flying to Brazil will certainly not be cheap. Furthermore, the World Cup is held in various cities throughout the giant country of Brazil so flying around the country to visit various stadiums will be a big expense.
6. Pho?
Haha, did not get a chance to try it. I welcome a reader’s review.
7. Sport
Obviously, the reason you are going to Brazil in the first place. It will be interesting to see how Brazil handles the record number of people in regards to the security concerns.
I have never been to a match in Brazil but did go to a regular season game in Buenos Aires, Argentina. The hotel recommended that we buy tickets through their vendor and we were escorted via private security at the stadium to avoid the hooligans.
I’m skeptical if security was necessary but the fact that visiting fans are not allowed to attend games made me think twice about not having it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOdVECw8RMY&feature=youtu.be
Living Doesn’t Have to Suck: 5 Myths About Earning Points
The mantra of ThePointsOfLife is Living Doesn’t Have to Suck because it doesn’t. The first step from my book Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong is Enjoy #ThePointsOfLife where I provide an overview of the limitless possibilities of points travel and demonstrate how traveling opens your eyes to new opportunities leaving your cubicle life with much to be desired.
Even though I tell everyone about how easy it is to accumulate points, nobody follows the Points101 guide or comes up with reasons why the points game is not worth their time. Then they fly first class for the first time for next to nothing and are finally believers, posting pics of candy buffets.
The Park Hyatt Sydney and the Case of the Missing Koala
The Park Hyatt Sydney Review is part of the Trip Report: The $77,000 Trip Heard Round the World which covers 5 Continents, 13 Countries, and 17 Cities.
- Tokyo, Japan
- Melbourne, Australia
- Wellington, New Zealand
- Sydney, Australia
- Colombo, Sri Lanka
- Maldives
- Saigon, Vietnam
- Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
- Hong Kong
- Cape Town, South Africa
- Knysna, South Africa
- Durban, South Africa
- Mauritius
- Johannesburg, South Africa
- Doha, Qatar
- New York, New York
- Helsinki, Finland
Getting Here: From the website: Sydney domestic and international airports is approximately a 20-minute train trip in to the city, with an approximate cost of A$16 per person. The closest train station to Park Hyatt Sydney is Circular Quay. You can’t miss it once you get to Circular Quay. It’s a short stroll around the harbor.
In December 2013 as part of my round the world itinerary, I visited Sydney, Australia. Like many tourists, my primary reason for going was to get a picture in front of the famous Sydney Opera House. The events that unfolded upon my arrival remain a mystery to this very day.
I arrived in Sydney after a few days in Wellington, New Zealand excited that I was staying at unquestionably the nicest hotel in all of Australia, the Park Hyatt Sydney. First, the Park Hyatt is my favorite hotel brand. The service can’t be beat, the locations are unmatched, and the complimentary pens are of top quality.
This was certainly case of the Park Hyatt Sydney. At check in the front desk was more than gracious and offered me a welcome glass of champagne. A member of the staff escorted me to my room that had a stunning bathroom, an incomparable king size bed, and the required espresso machine. Then I was shown the balcony which had a view of the Opera House. In fact, the hotel itself is directly situated in front of the Opera House giving credence to the claim that Park Hyatt’s are located in the top locations worldwide. Scribbling notes of where to go with my sparkling new Park Hyatt silver pen, I felt right at home.
My first stop was the Sydney Harbour Bridge where I passed on climbing the bridge from what the concierge told me was, “the best tourist experience in all of the world.” Even if he was right and the views climbing the bridge somehow rivaled climbing the Great Wall, there was no way I was going to pay $300 for that experience.
And this is where the mystery begins. At the gift shop, I purchased a Koala souvenir. We became immediately inseparable. We took pictures everywhere together.
I went out to dinner early in the evening leaving the koala in the room for some needed R&R. Upon my return, I saw the koala tucked in comfortably by housekeeping, spent from a day touring downtown Sydney.
The next morning I awoke to find the koala missing. I searched the bed, the bags, and the balcony for the koala but he was nowhere to be found. I called the front desk to report the missing koala and they assured me that they would do their best to locate him when the cleaned the room.
Dejected, I left the room for the beach hopeful that the koala would be waiting for me when I returned.
That was not the case and I never saw the koala again.
I am not sure what happened to him but am grateful for the time we spent together at the beautiful Park Hyatt Sydney.
I know that he is still somewhere exploring Australia as I get postcards of him every once in awhile.
<==Back to Qantas Lounge & Flight WLG-SYD – Onto Sydney Travel Guide==>
“Taxi my friend?” The Worst Places to Hail a Cab
Here are the worst places to catch a taxi on Earth!
1. Dubai, UAE: Dubai is tiny yet the drivers are new to the city and have no idea where anything is. If they get on the phone and try to call their colleague to ask where something is, get out. Should I take Sheikh Zayed Road or go through the city?
Result: The pretended not to speak English, so I too pretended not to speak English and got out paying what I thought was reasonable, less 10 percent. Not Robbed.
2. Doha, Qatar: Dubai and Doha are as close to Iraq, the land of my ancestors, as I have been. Nevertheless, I knew when I was in trouble when I heard, “Cousin, I just started my shift and I have no change.”
Result: Robbed
3. Istanbul, Turkey: “Istanbul has too much traffic so I’m not going to be able to use the meter. I’ll have to charge you a flat rate.” It took forever to hail this taxi so I had no choice but to agree.
Of course when I came to the hotel, the Hilton Istanbul, I renegotiated the price then asked for the bellman to back me up.
Result: Not Robbed
4. Shanghai, China: Another excerpt from my book illustrates a problem with taking taxis in China.
I later discovered that hotels have a completely different name in Mandarin than English. Saying “Le Royal Méridien” over and over, softly or loudly, while banging on the protective glass that safeguards taxi drivers from psychotic tourists, is completely useless when the hotel is called “Shang Hai Shi Mao Huang Jia Ai Mei Jiu Dian” or上海世茂皇家艾美酒店in Mandarin characters. Even if the driver could read English, he still would have been confused because there was nothing in the Mandarin name that was remotely close to the word “Méridien”. My apologies to the taxi driver wherever he may be. (Probably working right now, as they work 14 hour shifts with only one day of rest) Quick advice: for those traveling to China, print the directions and the name of the hotel in Mandarin characters and make sure your phone is capable of displaying them as ‘square boxes’ is not Mandarin.
Result: Unsure
5. Bangkok, Thailand: “If I come one day and there is no traffic, then I tell you there is no more Bangkok,” the taxi driver told me. Ever since then I have repeated that line to taxi drivers who tell me, “Today there is too much traffic.” Another trick I perfected is to sit in the front seat next to the driver and when he says, “Sorry no meter,” I react by turning the meter on myself. That usually gets a good laugh from the driver who now takes me where I want to go at the meter price. However, I’d be a little hesitant of messing with the wrong driver.
Result: Use my method at your own risk to not get robbed/killed.
6. Colombo, Sri Lanka: A tuk tuk with a meter? How could this be? Coming from Bangkok where tuk tuks are notorious for ripping off tourists regardless of their travel acumen, I was surprised to see a meter within this hybrid taxi.
Result: Surprisingly not robbed.
7. Goa, India: “Very busy today, my friend.” There must be a union of taxi drivers from India, Thailand, and Turkey that all were trained to use this same line. Northern Goa is not that big but because it is a party area, it does have a lot of traffic. More traffic equals hire fares whether or not you are traveling with your Indian compadre, Anshuman.
Result: Threatened to be beaten with a stick, paid the fare.
*List is subject to amendments and additions.
Top Piña Coladas on Earth
For my alcoholics and people in need of instant satisfaction, here are the Top 8 places, then the not Top 2 places to get (in pictures of course) the ultimate masculine drink based strictly on flavor and delivery, not scenery.
1. Seychelles
2. Miami, Florida
3. Nassau, Bahamas
4. Las Vegas, Nevada
4. Cartagena, Colombia
5. Budva, Montenegro
6. Phoenix, Arizona
7. Mauritius
8. Maldives
Dishonorable mention:
1. Sihanoukville, Cambodia
2. Bocas del Toro, Panama
