Vegas Knockout: It’s Still a Westin

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(17) Westin vs (1) Caesars 

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name.

The Westin Las Vegas isn’t a Vegas super hotel. It doesn’t have a nightclub with an Ibiza guest DJ, it isn’t located right in the center of the strip, and there aren’t wild pool parties on the weekend (though the pool is open 24 hours).

So why would I stay at the Westin and why should any of you? The answer is because it is an SPG property that provides all the familiarities of home. With platinum SPG status you get free Wi-Fi (without having to pay the outrageous Resort Fee of $35+ charged by most Vegas hotels), 4PM late checkout (a lifesaver for a Vegas weekend), and the Westin heavenly bed. SPG Platinums can opt for free breakfast which in Vegas is a great late night snack. In addition, the service, the quality of the room, the amenities are on par with Westins worldwide. Finally, the room rate is reasonable all things considered.

But, as was the problem with Early’s Apartment, the Westin isn’t in the heart of the action as it is not located directly on the Strip (though it is only a block away). Still, the Westin is a great spot to start your stay in Vegas (if you are looking to relax before commencement of the festivities) and a great place to end your stay (if you are looking to decompress and detox before heading home).

In the end, it’s a Westin. That alone says enough.

ThePointsOfLife Travel Philosophy

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My goal in writing Trip Reports is to break away from the norm by dismissing those ignoramuses who say “Bro, you have to stay in a country for at least a month to really appreciate the culture,” and the misguided who love to tell me that my quick trips are nothing more than a contrived effort to inflate my country count list at the expense of experiencing nothing.

To both sects, I would like to share ThePointsOfLife Travel Philosophy:

Stay in a city no longer than 2 days.* 

Why? The day you arrive, you are too excited to rest because there is so much to explore. That momentum carries onto the evening when you proclaim, “I have to go out, it’s my first night here.” The next day, you can’t sleep in because you only have one day left to see everything. This makes you power through your hangover by heading to another UNESCO World Heritage site.

Understandably exhausted from burning the candle on both ends, you momentarily convince yourself that you deserve a break. Then something inside you screams, “It’s your last night here, you have to go out!” This forces you to tap into your energy reserves and abandon the sanctity of sleep.

The next day you encounter a new city, a new mission, a new gauntlet to run.

This sentiment is the foundation of my Trip Reports‘ mantra Guns and Butter which graphically illustrates the things you must see, the things you should see, and the things you could skip. For each city, I will clearly sketch out which is which.

*ThePointsOfLife encourages you to vacation responsibly. The 2 Day Philosophy is more of an ideology than a hard and fast rule. In reality, 3-4 days per city is ideal when factoring in the desire to relax, but not a day longer.

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Europe in a sentence: A castle, a river, and a bridge; surely there must be more! (Bratislava Castle in Slovakia)

 

 

Vegas Knockout: A Recap of Week 2

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Another week of the Knockout Bracket is in the books and finally we are getting to the real match ups. Still, the second weekend wasn’t without some thrills.

Who can forget my time with Coolio at the Trump Hotel? Or the dog’s gambling issue at Early’s Apartment? What about free drinks and a hot bath at the Centurion Lounge? Yes, I know the Signature review was boring but they can’t all be winners, can they?

Anyhow, here’s the bracket as it stands headed into week 3, a week that will reveal more sin and less snooze.

Week 2

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The real fun starts in week 3

 

 

Vegas Knockout: Courtyard by MGM Signature

(17) The Westin vs (16) The Signature at MGM Grand 

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I’ve stayed at the Skylofts and the Signature at MGM Grand but never the MGM Grand itself. The MGM Grand is one of the largest hotels in the world so its no wonder there are multiple properties located within this hotel.

The Signature is three prominent towers to the rear of the main hotel that serve both as a resort and as an apartment condominium for business professionals. Both the Westin and the Signature are located off the strip but, for me, it feels like the Signature is more isolated even though it is directly connected to the MGM Grand via a never ending moving walkway.

When I stayed at the Signature, I had a two bedroom balcony suite with more than enough space for a whole bachelor party to crash and a balcony that was stupidly big. As had been the case with all hotels in the Knockout Bracket, the quality of the room may make a Vegas hotel good but it doesn’t automatically make it great.

Instead, my bracket relies on a totality of the circumstances test to determine whether a hotel should move on:

1. The Location: Why didn’t I stay at the MGM Grand proper?

2. The Fun: Why didn’t I stay at the MGM Grand proper?

3. The Sportsbook: Id. 

4. The Luxury: The rooms are typical luxury that you would find in any overbuilt condo community: granite counters, marble floors, whirlpool bathtub etc. Snooze.

5. The Value: For the size of the room, the value is great especially if you are bringing all your buddies with you for a special occasion.

6. The Food: Id at 2. 

Overall, the Signature at MGM Grand is nothing more than a glorified Courtyard by Marriott that happens to be located in the backdrop of the MGM Grand. The hotel was not built to service people like myself but for those who want to be an arm’s length away from the mega MGM resort while getting away from the riff raff of Vegas.

If the lack of pizzazz of this post had you dozing off then the Signature is also not right for you. If you were intrigued by the post, then I thank you for paying attention.

But now it’s time to say goodbye, to Signature and all its friends.

True Detective: The Case of the Stolen iPhone: The Debrief

iPhone recovered, bounty paid, Trent and Alvin have moved on with their lives. Apart from the entertainment value provided by this installment of the True Detective series, there are serious travel lessons to be learned from Trent’s misadventure.

1. Points Advice: In Act I, Alvin questioned why Trent didn’t use his Club Carlson points to stay for free at a legitimate hotel. Trent opted to split the cost of a cheap motel with his wookiee friends and almost ended up paying the price for it. Alternatively, he could’ve had his own upscale, private room with accountable security.

2. Insurance Advice:

A) Travel insurance: I’ve never paid for travel insurance because I’m short-sighted when I try to save money. Luckily, I’ve yet to be robbed abroad (apart from taxis), suffer any medical emergency, or encounter any event which would make having such insurance useful. For those that aren’t as ignorant or are less risk loving, I highly recommend paying the nominal premium to cover your ass[ets] while traveling, especially abroad.

B) Phone Insurance: Everyone hates paying their cellphone bill because the prices aren’t competitive in comparison to overseas markets. Add in the cost of monthly insurance if your phone is lost, stolen, or broken along with the deductible of $200+ of filing a claim and it is no wonder that so many people chose to forego this add on.

That all changes the second bad luck comes knocking and you find yourself on the phone with Verizon pleading that you had purchased the insurance and the morons at the store didn’t add it to your plan.

C) Renter’s Insurance: This is the best and most overlooked insurance premium that everyone should have whether they travel or not. Depending on the state you reside in and the amount you are insuring, you can get comprehensive coverage for pretty cheap to cover your personal belongings in the event someone robs your Lake Angelus apartment. On top of that protection, there is also an electronics premium that interestingly covers electronics stolen even when you are not at home e.g., Trent’s iPhone.

3. Friend Advice: Choose wisely when you travel with friends, especially for prolonged periods outside of the country. Trent’s friends were oblivious to the fact that someone had surreptitiously entered their room with the intent to commit a robbery. If they weren’t the biggest of wookiees, I would have presumed they were in on the heist.

Figuring out who is a good travel companion can be tough. The simplest way to find out who is a worthy travel companion is to spend a weekend with him or her in Las Vegas. The pandemonium of a Vegas weekend quickly reveals who is resilient enough to handle any situation and who is trustworthy enough to keep it in the locker room. Friends are either made in Vegas or lost forever. This is a necessary screening that must be completed before a big trip.

Conclusion 

I hope you enjoyed and learned from the funny story of Trent and Alvin. Tune in next time for more misadventures.

And remember…

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Don’t take rides or trips with wookiees

 

Trial by Jury of Social Media

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Due process, innocent until proven guilty, trial by a jury of your peers: these legal principles used to mean something.

Now we might as well scrap the entire judicial system because everyone is guilty if enough people say so. Today, jackasses on Facebook and Twitter decide the consequences of any action whether it be an act that is illegal or something legal but socially unacceptable.

The mob mentality cloaked as outraged citizens has gone too far, leaving anyone disliked at risk of having his or her life ruined. Let me preface my argument by saying I do not condone any actions of violence, racism, sexism, or any other isms so I hope you read this first sentence carefully before orchestrating a social media witch hunt against me.

But enough is enough.

As a country of checks and balances, we used to “let justice run its course” before condemning anyone. The impatience from instant updates via social media has rendered this system useless. Now all it takes is a TMZ video clip, an unauthorized soundbite, or Tweet in bad taste to make someone a social outcast.

The worst part is that the witch-hunt is not led by those who are fighting for good. It is led by those fighting for attention. These people don’t care about justice and equality. They want to feel involved, feel powerful, believing they are making a difference. They are mistaken.

The effect of 24/7 social media monitoring will not eliminate domestic violence, reduce racism, and bring justice to the underrepresented. It will have the opposite effect. People will grow ever more conscious that they are being monitored and go to greater lengths to hide their misdeeds knowing that at any time their 4th amendment right to privacy could be violated, leaving them at the mercy of the social media mobsters.

There’s a slippery slope from the benefit of exposing a person’s disgusting views about race, gender, or class and the unanticipated effect that leads to such persons suppressing their views.

The latter creates hostility below the surface that will bubble up in an unforeseen way in the future, baffling the social media morons who thought that society was making progress.

What did Donald Sterling learn from losing his NBA team? Did he learn that racism is wrong?

No, he learned, as he is quoted as saying, that he should’ve paid the bribe to his extorter.

What did Ray Rice learn from his infamous elevator incident? Did he learn that the justice system that incarcerates far more minorities than whites is reliable? Did he learn that the policies and procedures of the NFL that govern player conduct are consistent?

No, he learned that the court of social media opinion is what counts. Indeed the tape in the elevator was shocking and appalling but let’s wait and see how long it takes for an investigation to prove that the NFL knew about the tape and why they chose to be complicit.Ā Then the social media mongers will chase after Commissioner Goodell who will prove to be the ultimate hypocrite. Given the backlash, I’m surprised that the prosecution hasn’t found a loophole to undermine the double jeopardy provision and try Rice for aggravated assault (as they should have in the first place).

Today, there is no justice. If social media is unhappy with the outcome via the court system at the state level, they turn to the Attorney General for help. If that doesn’t command an indictment, they’ll keep exclaiming their outrage until the President himself usurps the judicial process by interjecting his opinion.

And on and on the charade of justice goes with no end in sight even after incarceration.

If someone has paid his debt to society and society still thinks he’s a ‘bad guy’,Ā they turn to the employer to be the moral compass. Of course, that all goes away once he scores a few touchdowns on the road. Then he’s ‘grown as a person’ and is back in the good graces of social media- checkout the highlight reel!

The wheels of justice have been hijacked by those who want to pick and choose social causes with one underlying factor as to which cause is deemed “worthy”- attention.

Today the social media moralists are concerned why a Heisman trophy winner would ever stand on a table and say, ā€œI’ll fuck her right in the pussy.ā€ Yesterday that statement was deemed to be 1/2 a game’s worth inappropriate by the head coach. Today, it is a full game’s worth.

I wonder what has changed?

The ironic part is that his condemnors, social media, weren’t denouncing the same words months ago when someone else said it online. That clip was deemed hilarious. It went viral, garnering millions of hits on Youtube.

All rise. The court of social media is always in session.

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Living Doesn’t Have to Suck…unless social media says so.

 

Vegas Knockout: The Centurion Lounge Toxicology Report

(15) Hard Rock Hotel vs (18) The Centurion Lounge 

a blue doors in a building

In June 2013, I was going to Vegas again, and I got to meet the President again. When I left Vegas, I had the chance to visit the newly opened American Express Centurion Lounge. The best thing about visiting the Centurion Lounge is the food! Now, since it was all free, and I wasn’t hungry but thirsty, I must’ve drank me fifteen Jack n Diets.

Actually, I did run through the buffet line a couple of times and the food was pretty good. Compared to lounges in the US, the Centurion Lounge Vegas is more on par with international lounges. There are real free drinks, not just domestic drafts and there is real food, not cheese and pretzels. (Come on United, how many packets of carrots and Ranch do you expect me to eat!)

a plate of food and a drink on a table

However, one of the best features of the Centurion Lounge in comparison to so many I have been to (both domestic and abroad) is the monitor in the dining area with the flight departure times. I have serious anxiety when it comes to missing my flight and I always leave the lounge early to frequent with the commoners because I am scared of the gate closing. Having someone announce that a flight is boarding is wasted on me because I tune out the frequent pages. Perhaps it’s my subconscious telling me not to go but I don’t ever hear “Last call for Flight DL 2534 Las Vegas to Detroit”, electing to stay for another drink. At the same time, please don’t leave it to me to be aware of my boarding time, especially when I’m fat and full from food and exhaustion.

So now I hope you know why the Centurion lounge made the hotel Knockout Bracket. It truly is nicer than many of the Priceline Pretenders and if the TSA wasn’t such a hassle, I would consider commuting between here and the Strip if I only had a day [or two] of Vegas debauchery.

And if things did get a little too filthy, don’t fret, there is the added benefit of a shower spa.

a screen shot of a computer

True Detective: The Case of the Stolen iPhone [Act III]

We are in the final act of Trent’s iPhone saga. At our last juncture, Trent and Alvin were trying to decide if they should send a letter that would persuade the apparent thief to return Trent his iPhone. Before that decision could be made, Alvin had another breakthrough idea.

Alvin: whats the hotel phone #

Trent: Shit

Alvin: nm i got it

Trent: k

A few moments pass while Alvin is on the phone with the hotel. 

Alvin: got his name. Jonnie [redacted]

Trent: lol no way

Alvin: he’s a day employee there

Trent: ahahaha

Alvin: the night manager is a moron

Trent: And he lives at that address??

Alvin: told him that a guy with that address lost his wallet. and i got it

Trent: ahahahahaha

Alvin: and want to return it to him. i gave him my phone #. we are getting closer

Trent: Should I turn the lock screen on the phone to say “Jonnie, I want my phone back”?? 

Alvin: now we have to be smart

Trent: what do we do now. What do we doooo! Ahhh, he doesn’t have fb. Unless that last name is spelled wrong

Alvin: the last name is spelled right, the first name is not, he says they just call him jonnie but it’s like judnat and he doesnt know how to spell it. 

Trent: Motherf@!ker 

Alvin: well we know he works there and we know he has your phone

Trent: It was that c*!@sucker that let me into the f@cking room! 

Alvin: so tomorrow i call and tell the manager. tell them i have bad news about an employee. i dont want to get law enforcement involved. we don’t press charges or blow up yelp

Trent: i like the yelp angle

Alvin: just want the phone returned. do we give your name? i think jonnie is going to come kill you. 

Trent: hmmm, my fb is locked up! 

Alvin: add a phony name to your address. and we will have him send it there. simon bolivar?

Trent. yes. My name is fine tho. I don’t care

Alvin: yeah i think your name is fine too

Trent: cant wait for tomorrow! this is great

Alvin: hope u got that finder’s fee. i expect at least $100

Trent: I’ll give u a cut if phone comes back

Alvin: haha ok, go zzzz 

Trent: jonnie, Oh Jonnie. He hasn’t turned it on since 9:27pm. I want my cable back too!! lol

October 24, 2013 8:53 am

Alvin: youre phone is in the mail on the way to your home!

Trent: How’d it go down??

Alvin: well, they claim it was found in the parking lot

Trent: It’s been at Jonnie’s house!!

Alvin: she confirmed hte case

Trent: why did Jonnie steal it?!?! And where is cable??

Alvin: he probably found it. and brought it home. then brought it back to work

Trent: lol Jonnie such a nice guy

Alvin: and i want my $

Trent: Yup. He turned it on last night! Had it all week. turned it off when i called

Alvin: poor Jonnie

Trent: hmmm

Alvin: well maybe i spooked him into turning it in

Trent: still don’t get why he took it home on Sunday night, turned it on, turned it off immediately, sat on it all week, turned it on last night, when I called he immediately turned it off, then brought it in this morning

Alvin: because i claled yesterday. and i bet u his boy was like they after u. and he was like oh shit i go turn it in

Trent: hows the manager know so quickly where jonnie stay. like he went into the file cabinet and pulled his info?? theyve been running this scam forever!

Alvin: whatever send me my reward

Trent: Dead phone my ass

Alvin: otherwise im coming to mi and smashing your phone. and then me and jonnie will go take shots

Trent: lol

Alvin: man u shouldve heard me talking. not making any sense. it was hilarious. because how could i say i had his wallet, and then ask where i should turn it in. 

Trent: And it would’ve had his name and address lol. 

Alvin: im like no i want to turn it in at his work

Trent: yeah and how to spell his name

Alvin: but i was mumbling, guy couldnt understand. “where does he work” the guy asked. i said he worked where i call u

Trent: lol

Alvin: and i got his wallet and i want to give it to him, but i wanna make sure his name matches up. and im not going to his house!

So there you have it folks! Trent did get his iPhone back thanks to the creativity of Alvin. Alvin did get his finder’s fee. And Jonnie, well who knows if Jonnnie was a saint or sinner. Tomorrow, we will cover the many mistakes that Trent made and how you can spare yourself the hassle of going through what he went through. Alternatively, I could give you Alvin’s contact info if you do get into this same situation. 

Oh Jonnie! 

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Trent’s wookiee friends who almost cost him his $600 phone.

Simply The Best: Six Months of Points Sexiness

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Today is the 6 month anniversary I’ve been alive as ThePointsOfLife. To date, I have had 27,606 views which has to be more than auto-refresh. I continue to try to differentiate myself from every single blog, travel or otherwise, by producing fresh content.

Here are some highlights of the new additions:

In the Hotel Reviews section, I have set up a tourney where all the Vegas hotels I’ve stayed at fight to not get Knocked Out.

In the Pulse section, I write my own op-eds about current events. Check out my UK saving post on Scotland.

In the Trip Reports section, I use the economic framework of Guns And Butter to tell you what you absolutely must do when visiting a new place, a creative idea that breaks up the repetition of reading the same review of Angkor Wat.

In the Press section, I use my collection of espresso pictures from cities all over the world to provide a unique insight on local life.

In Travel Advice, I created an intense mini-series about recovering a stolen iPhone while traveling.

I still need to finish the Pho Sho: Top 10 Pho Worldwide and reveal more crazy details about my life as a lawyer doubling as a Taxi Driver all in an effort to sell copies of my book, Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong which is available on Kindle and paperback here.

6 months of sexiness are in the books! Can I get an encore, do you want more?

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Happy Balloons in Istanbul!

Vegas Knockout: Early’s Apartment for a Late Arrival

(19) Early’s Apartment (14) Artisan Hotel Boutique 

The Vegas urge could strike at any time leaving me no choice but to hit the road. Living in Scottsdale, it wasn’t out of the question to pack the chariot at the last second and set off for Sin City. The drive realistically takes around 5 hours though there are tall tales of people making it in four. There aren’t many advantages for driving over flying Southwest unless one of the following applies:

1. I didn’t speculatively book a points trip to Vegas that weekend and a last minute booking would be 20,000+ points instead of the usual 6800.

2. I don’t know when or if I’m returning home and can’t or don’t feel like booking a flight for Sunday morning, Sunday evening, and Monday morning.

3. Chimney has a craving for 3 card poker after being banned again from online play.

In this instance, #3 was applicable so I loaded the car around 7PM for an expected arrival at 11PM (factoring in the one hour time difference).

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Chimney dreaming of slot machines

The drive to Vegas from Arizona is extremely unpleasant regardless of my great Spotify playlists. Most of it is one lane service roads with no cell service. Even if you do manage to avoid all the police out of sheer luck, the good time will be lost if you encounter traffic on the Hoover Dam. (They have since added a new direct road that bypasses the dam but it wasn’t in service during most of my trips.)

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Lake Mead Hoover Dam, Damn delay

Along the way, I call my buddy Early to let him know that I will be crashing at his apartment and that I will need a caffeine infused alcoholic drink upon my arrival. The advantage of staying at your friend’s apartment in Vegas is obvious; it’s free, it’s fun, and it doesn’t require advanced booking. Furthermore, it is pet friendly. The drawback is that he didn’t live right on the Strip so we always had to cab it back and forth. Even still, that ride was no more than $10-15. All things considered, it is a much better bargain than having to pay for a Priceline Pretender far from the Strip.

So why isn’t Early’s Apartment moving on in the tourney? The answer is simple: you don’t go to Vegas to look for a bargain. You go there to act recklessly in all regards and the only way that is possible is by being right in the center of the action. And even if you are bringing your dog, he shouldn’t have to sacrifice by staying in your friend’s apartment. Resorts like THEhotel and Caesars are pet friendly but prepare to pay a premium for your best friend to come along.

Chim won big that weekend so we only stayed in Early’s Apartment for one night, affording me the opportunity to review another hotel for the Knockout Bracket.

All in all it was a good time until Tuesday came and I had to physically remove Chim from the casino so we could go home. Apparently he owes some wise guys some money which is why he hasn’t returned to Vegas since.

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Last time Chim overplayed his hand, some miscreants held him for ransom.

Vegas baby!

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My made man!