The Hotel Reviews portion of my blog will not be yet another spoiled points churner crying about how he didn’t get the 4PM late checkout or how he didn’t get the free ocean view upgrade on account of having a gazillion credit card points that he has been hoarding for another free trip. While I do empathize with my fellow points travelers when this happens to me, I think I will do something different.
My plan is to write reviews on hotels as they coincide with my other blog posts by relaying an insightful, hopefully humorous anecdote regarding my stay. Of course, I’ll quickly summarize how I got there using points but as I have tried to state over and over, ThePointsOfLife is more than just traveling everywhere for free. It is, as I also state over and over, Step 1 out of 10 of my book Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong . . . Including Mine.
So sit back relax and enjoy the flight.
Wait, that’s the Flight Reviews section.
In any event, prepare to be amazed.
Please, Not Another Hotel Review Site
30 Days to Maldives: Step 5
One Application Churn:
o 1. Citi Hilton Reserve Card: 2 Weekend Nights free after $2500 spend in 4 months.
- Here is the link for Citi.
- This card gives you gold status allowing you and your companion a ridiculous breakfast buffet at the Conrad Maldives for free. That breakfast would otherwise be $100 per person per day. At the same time, just for being gold, you also get free happy hour from 5-6 which is well worth it as drinks are a minimum of $12 each.
- Maximize the deal: You and your traveling partner should both apply for a card. That will give you four nights free, three that you can use on this trip. Four nights at the Maldives is more than plenty in my opinion.
- Here is the link for Chase Sapphire.
- Here is the link for Chase Ink.
Retail Cost:
The Big Picture:
o This is an extreme example of how you can easily and efficiently get to the Maldives in one churn. It is probably unreasonable to meet the minimum spend in just 30 days but it is possible especially if you spread it out over the allotted time of 3-4 months or by applying for 1-2 cards per churn cycle. More elaborate trips require patience and practice, i.e., following the Points 101 directions over and over.
o Virtually all the trips I wrote about were done using points by repeating the Points 101 directions. My first churn was in November of 2011 and I have consistently kept churning since then while maintaining an excellent credit score and staying out of credit card debt.
o Offers do expire, points programs devalue, and all banks, airlines, hotels, terms and conditions do apply.
o Please feel free to ask about a specific trip you would like to take, the timeframe you had in mind, and how you would like to get there. I’m happy to answer all questions based on an individual’s circumstances provided you have read Steps 1-5.
I Have No Filter
In an ongoing effort to spam humanity with blogs, tweets, posts, and snapchats, I’ve had to learn the game of social media. When I found myself signing up for a Tinder account just to promote the book Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong, I realized it was time to go to counseling.
Yesterday on my personal Facebook account I posted:
I’ve officially sold out; I post blogs, use hash tags, filter pics, and now make collages.
Smh
Oh and I just said ‘smh’. FML
I received ‘likes’ across the board for this post. Maybe it was because my friends were agreeing that social media has gone too far or maybe it was because they are agreeing that I am a sellout. It’s been three weeks since I posted the most clicked ‘No One Listens to the Professor’ and the devolution of my evolution since then is remarkable.
The erosion of my moral compass for what is and what is not ‘douche’ behavior, for lack of a better term, seems to be unstoppable and perhaps unrecoverable. My goal when I started this blog thing was to get the word out about a book. I did not foresee that I could lose my soul in the process.
So all collages and hashtags aside, I am going to say F*!K the filter and go back to being the angry, old professor that you are beginning to know and love.
Now if I could just figure out how to setup my Tumblr . . .
It’s National Siblings Day, Not International for Some Reason.
It’s National Siblings Day, not international for some reason. In honor of this momentous occasion I would like to share a little about my sisters with a couple of, you guessed it, excerpts from my book Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong . . . Including Mine.
Part I: Trial And Mostly Error
“Ah yes, excellent, Boardwalk with two hotels, that will be $4000,” I told my sister Zina seconds before she flipped over the board in disgust. New opponent, same result; one by one I was running out of people to dominate in this high stakes game of real estate. For me, it was evident that my name would, one day, be listed amongst the greatest in commercial real estate:
Rockefeller, Trump . . . Bachuwa.
My grand aspirations for becoming a millionaire mogul was inspired by such sibling rivalry. Throughout the years, my sisters have always listened to my wild ideas about how I will strike it rich. They tolerate my ‘I have the best idea ’ stories and for that I am thankful. On a few occasions, I have tempted them to join me on one of my hair-brained expeditions.
In Lesson 2: A Dollar Is Green I discuss Zina and I’s efforts to open a Jimmy John’s franchise that never came to being. Here is an excerpt of that plan:
The idea was simple: utilize the same franchise model that was obscenely successful in the Midwest, bring it to the Southwest, and eventually expand to one of the largest universities in the United States, Arizona State. With that foolproof formula in mind, I spent many evenings building my Mercedes SL65 AMG on mbusa.com, conflicted as to whether or not I needed navigation. As [bad] luck would have it, I was accepted into Arizona State, inconveniently an hour and a half drive from Tucson, my prospective Jimmy John’s franchise location. In need of a local partner, I convinced my sister Zina to move from Michigan to Tucson and run the day-to-day operations. I figured that I could commute from Tempe to Tucson a few times a week while she made the sandwiches. With Zina on board, I grew ever more excited about this plan. Enthusiasm, like the “free smells” neon sign in a Jimmy John’s window, was as close as I would come to owning a Jimmy John’s.
Today, as in literally today, I speak of the missed opportunity of Jimmy John’s as they finally opened one in Old Town Scottsdale, probably the 50th location in the Valley. But, even if Zina and I did not become sub-shop millionaires we still have the support of our older sister Rima cheering us on until we do breakthrough.
So on this made-up social media holiday, I’d just like to thank both of them for their support. I know that I will get at least four book sales from them- 2 Kindle and 2 hard copies.
“If you do go to a restaurant where the wine is out of your budget, drink beer!”
The setting is familiar:
“Your table sir,” the maitre d’ graciously points out as he escorts me to my seat. The waiter comes by and introduces himself then proceeds to discuss the chef’s specials.
“Tonight we have a Japanese wagyu steak . . . “
My mind wanders from the needlessly complex description of the entrées that sounds more like a lesson from the Rosetta Stone to the wine list. I open the list that is as thick as the YellowPages and begin to peruse the selection.
I am relieved given the pomp and swank of the restaurant that I at least recognize the types of wines. The usual suspects: Cabernet, Pinot Noir, and Merlot are all there but beyond those, I am as lost as I was when I was listening to the waiter, who is now carrying on about the ‘infused dessert’ selection.
Even after visiting vineyards from Cape Town to California, I still don’t recognize some of the wines on the list. That is forgivable given the number of grape varietals. What really bothered me was that I could not tell you what made one Cabernet choice better than the other- apart from the stupid prices ranging from $96 to $10,000. I like how the 10k bottle is a nice round number but the low-end bottle has to be some off number, so as to make it sound legitimate.
So what is a wine lover to do? Conventional wisdom would say, “Do not choose the $96 bottle that will make you look cheap and unsophisticated.” Maybe I should ask the waiter? No, he will just try to sell me on some expensive bottle to inflate the bill.
At page 120 of the list, I gave up.
“My father will have a bottle of Stella Artois and I’ll have a glass of Malbec.”
Crisis averted. I didn’t look cheap and by ordering Malbec I constructively preserved the appearance that I am a sophisticated wine drinker.
Rule #1: Never order wine by the glass, especially when it is $13. This is not a good idea for the most obvious reason- who only wants to have a glass of wine. But, more importantly, the glass will often be substandard. Wine by the glass, is for your everyday wine drinker who, luckily for him, only has to say “I’ll have a glass of house red,” to be satisfied. But for us, the novice-quasi experts, we require a tad bit more.
Predictably, the Malbec came and it was as bold as a Screwdriver with extra pulp. After a few more swirls, a few more sniffs, I had no choice but to call the waiter and send it back. I had enjoyed the finest Malbecs when I visited Argentina and felt it would be an insult to my palette to continue drinking this watered down, poor excuse for vino.
“May I see the wine list again?”
This time I skipped passed the 300 Cabernets and went to the subheading of ‘Specialty Varietals’. There were two bottles of Malbec listed: One for $96 and one for $225. At this point, I didn’t care if I looked cheap and settled for the $96 bottle.
A different waiter returned with the wine and as she was uncorking it said that it was a great bottle of Malbec because it was made in Mendoza, Argentina. Not wanting to be smug, I held back my comment, “Just about all Malbec is made in Mendoza.”
Skipping my thorough analysis of the cork, I went straight to the sample. Meanwhile, my father was glaring at me like who does this buffoon think he is while enjoying his ice-cold Stella. I swished the wine around, put it to my nose then back on the table. A few swishes later, I was ready to taste it again.
“Well, what do you think?” she asked.
“Meh, it’s not that great,” I commented, “but it will do.”
Immediate buyer’s remorse set in as I began to drink the watery Malbec Part 2. Each sip tasted worse than the last as I could not rationalize the price for this convenience store wine. My dad, having finished his quality Stella, also did not enjoy a few glasses.
My steak came and it was prepared perfectly. Ignoring the protest of my father, who vowed to leave if I carried through with my proposal, I called over the waiter again.
“I’m sorry but this Malbec is awful.”
The manager came and I told him that I felt bad for sending back the first glass so I acquiesced to the first bottle out of embarrassment and now I may have passed the point of no return to ask for another change.
In fairness to me, what else could I have done? In front of me was a tantalizing steak and the only compliment for it was a glass of water or a watered down glass. Taking pity on me, the manager recommended a Cabarnet in the amount of $155 and delivered a quality bottle.
Following this incident, I came up with a few more rules:
Rule #2: If you do go to a restaurant where the wine is out of your budget, drink beer!
Rule #3: If you are looking for a ‘specialty’ varietal like a Malbec and they only have two, one that is the cheapest wine on the whole list and one well beyond your budget, it may be time to consider Rule #2 or move onto Rule #4.
Rule #4: Trust the sommelier when you receive an unabridged volume of wine well beyond your expertise.
Rule #4(a): Your sophistication or lack of sophistication is not impressing nor is it disappointing anyone.
In the end, I was cheap, unsophisticated, and intoxicated.
I should’ve stuck with a Stella followed by a couple of shots- at least I know the names of all of those. How Hard Can It Be to Run a Marathon?
In Part II of my book, Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong . . . Including Mine, I detail a ten-step guide that will unearth your spirit from the demoralization of the cubicle and help you realize there is more to life than 9-5 which has inexplicably become 9-6.
In Step 1: #EnjoyThePointsOfLife I discussed the necessity of leaving the every day for the unusual- now possible thanks to the Points101 directions.
In Step 2: Make Tuesday Humpday, I introduced how a simple nonconformist step can marginally increase your tolerance for the workweek while setting the cornerstone for your eventual departure. The novelty of this change will soon become unsatisfying.
During boring days at work I would stare out my office window hoping to catch a glimpse of the ocean. As a resident of Arizona, all I could see was the endless desert hindering my escape. To stop falling for the mirage of the 401k, I came up with a solution. Once again, travel and adventure were instrumental in advancing my cause. This time my desire for autonomy would take me to the Northern Lights of Alaska where a 26.2 mile journey lay ahead.
Here is a sample of Step 3: Be A Marathon Man
You’ve gained that nth pound of weight and have sworn off cake. Even overcoming Hump Day to enjoy Taco Tuesdays isn’t enough. More bad news: the 4th of July has passed and your next day off isn’t until Labor Day. Flustered, you check your bank account and wonder how you could ever consider quitting with so little saved up and so many bills due.
The next step is to begin the journey of finding strength within yourself.
It was the end of May 2012 when I was map making as general minimal counsel as an employee of ‘Baidu Maps’ (the Chinese equivalent of Google Maps) as I had coined it. Out of the blue, Brent emailed me, irritated that his coworkers had asked him to run a relay marathon, where each member of the group runs a leg as part of a team building exercise.
I replied, “Marathon you say? How hard can it be to run a marathon? I think I will sign up.” A few hours later, I registered for the Moose Tooth Marathon scheduled for mid-August in, of all places, Anchorage, Alaska. I figured if I’m going to run my first marathon, why not do it somewhere adventurous. Also, I had read there was the distinct possibility of seeing moose or bears on the trail. What could be more motivating than a giant bear chasing after me when I hit the wall?
I’m not trying to sound profound when I state that the journey of training, running, and completing a marathon is analogous to the journey of life but in many ways it is. When I signed up for the race, I naïvely thought I would receive support and encouragement. Quite the opposite; friends, family, and strangers alike all had doubts about whether I could finish. Even the prick guy who sold me my running shoes let me know that completing a marathon with less than 12 weeks of training was unrealistic. I am not sure what the motivation was behind their skepticism but I used it to keep me focused during the ups and downs.
Running a full marathon is not a steadfast requirement for completing this step. Feel free to try your luck at a triathlon if you wish. I am partial to the marathon because I believe that anyone can run a marathon and finish. Even if you finish in 6+ hours, you finished. This is an accomplishment of a lifetime that will solidify belief in yourself and erase all doubts of whether you can conquer any future challenge.
The full details of the taxing marathon training and race are described in great detail in the book. But for the sake of summary, here are the takeaways from the Steps covered thus far.
Step 1: Vacation
Step 2: Alteration
Step 3: Elation
The real fireworks begin in Step 4: Scorch The Bridge.
The Ugly Hungry American
Wikipedia, my only source of reliable information, states that ‘Ugly American’ refers to perceptions of loud, arrogant, demeaning, thoughtless, ignorant, and ethnocentric behavior of American citizens abroad.” Nothing is worse than being told “Oh, you must be American,” in this context. To that end, I try to be more self-aware of my behavior so as to not perpetuate the stereotype.
And sometimes I just don’t care. As part of my MBA, I had the opportunity to study for a semester in Prague, the Czech Republic. Czechs have recently taken the title for highest consumption of beer per capita from Germany. In an effort to assimilate to the local culture, I increased my intake of this wonderful beverage. One night, a few friends of mine were on a social venture when hunger struck. As Americans with discerning tastes for the finest of foods, we made our way to a restaurant that has the most superb hamburgers in all of the world- McDonald’s.
Not sure how the conversation began but a friend of mine bet my classmate that he could not finish two large Big Mac meals. Entranced by the smell of golden, crispy McNugetts , I proposed my own wager: four Big Macs in 15 minutes. The only stipulated term: I could have one large Coke.
We placed our order and calmly took our seats. I mentally prepared myself for this great life challenge as my friend calibrated his stopwatch. He yelled “Go!” and I dove in. What my betting friend did not account for is that I am a pupil of Takeru Kobayashi, once an unstoppable force in the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Competition.While a rookie would try to eat each Big Mac, one at time, I knew better. Instead, I quickly separated beef from bun and proceeded to dip the bread into the Coke and consume the patty on its own.
Everyone at the table was laughing hysterically witnessing one of my life’s crowning achievements. Down went two all-beef patties, down went two more. I vaguely recall tasting the special sauce, lettuce, cheese, and let me tell you, there’s nothing like a sesame-seed bun drenched in Coke.
“Time?” I yelled out. “Four minutes,” my friend replied. At that point, it wasn’t the hunger that was making this endeavor challenging, it was trying to not choke on my food as I could not stop laughing. I glanced over at my friend who was making headway with his Big Mac meals and knew it was time to get serious. More chow, less stops, I told myself.
Well ahead of schedule, I took my time finishing up the last Big Mac, grinning proudly at what I had just accomplished.
Challenge: Four Big Macs in 15 minutes.
Result: Four Big Macs in 7 flat.
Our antics had attracted the ire of locals who gave us the dirtiest of looks. They were far from amused at how loud we were being, perplexed as to how we could have such poor etiquette in this fine-dining establishment.
‘Ugly Americans’ or uptight anyones? You can decide. Either way, it made for a great story.
The Big House: Now Playing Euro Soccer
If you’ve read any of my blog you know that I went to the University of Michigan for undergrad and am a huge Michigan fan for basketball, football, and field hockey. 
Michigan Football, the winningest program in college football plays at the Big House in Ann Arbor, Michigan home to 109,901 fans. The Ten Year War with our neighbor to the south is nothing short of legendary.
But, this is not a post about Michigan Football, this is a post about European Football. On August 2, 2014 Real Madrid will play Manchester United at the Big House, a spectacle that should set the all time attendance record for a soccer game in the United States. My guess is the previous best record was the 1994 World Cup when my favorite player Roberto Baggio kicked the ball over the net in a penalty shootout allowing Romario and Brazil to beat Italy at the Rose Bowl. So if you’re looking for a reason to finally come to the Great Lakes State besides some of the best after-hours food then come experience the great city of Ann Arbor and the incomparable Big House for what surely will be a memorable event. It is always funny when traveling abroad to ask locals what the largest stadiums are in the world. Without hesitation, most assume that it is a soccer stadium and are baffled when I tell them that the Big House, home to an amateur football team, is #3. Do you know which ones are #1 an #2?30 Days to Maldives: Step 4
Step 4 is where things get serious. Armed with a 787 credit score across the board, no credit card debt, the realization that living for 30 years at one residence is not within the cards, and abiding by the oath to never hoard points, you are ready to move on to Step 4: The First Churn. First, please read the following disclaimer (taken from the book of course): #ThePointsOfLife Legal Disclaimer: Only those that are disciplined with their finances should partake in this hobby. Otherwise, you may find yourself submerged in credit card debt, staying for free in a double room that will certainly not have a view of the ocean but may have a complimentary gym. Copyright 2014 #ThePointsOfLife™. All Rights Reserved. Question 1: What’s the fastest way to earn points? – Answer: By applying for credit cards with sign up bonuses, meeting the minimum spend requirements to obtain those bonuses, then strategically shifting your spending habits to the cards that earn the most valuable points per transaction*. o What is a minimum spend requirement?
- Cards require you to spend a certain amount of money in order to receive the bonus. Sometimes it can be $3000 in 3 months, other times it can be 1 penny!
- Note: If the card charges an annual fee up front that fee does not count towards your minimum spend.
- American Express
- Bank of America
- Barclays
- Chase
- Citi
- U.S. Bank
- There are others including Capital One and Discover but for now I am going to focus on those with the most lucrative offers.
- While you still may be approved by Bank D, it isn’t worth the hassle of explaining to the bank why you are applying for so many cards.
- Example: I don’t really need a new 70” LED TV but I do have to hit this minimum spend. Yes, I can rationalize that this is a normal purchase.
- No you cannot!
- Personally, I have followed that guideline and have never been rejected for applying for another card too soon.
- I will get into the specifics of when you can break this rule at a later time.
- Remember those 6 cards you applied for (one per bank)? Each application resulted in an inquiry on one or more of your credit reports: Experian, Equifax, or Transunion. Credit inquiries initially lower your credit score by 1-2 points per inquiry. That is not a good thing. (See Step 2: FICO graph.)
- But, ironically, after you receive those cards, meet the minimum spend, and pay off the balance in full (See Step 1: Credit Card Debt Not Allowed) your credit card may actually rise higher than where it began.
- Your credit score must recover to or surpass where it began before commencing the next churn.
“You can get anything you want here.”
Singapore is a country of rules.
Rule #1: No fun*.
You can’t do anything in Singapore: no gum chewing, no jaywalking, and certainly no illicit behavior of any kind.
Did you notice the asterisk?
Singapore is a country of illusions. On the surface, all seems calm, clean, and cultured. On the surface, everything is chaotic.
Welcome to Singapore, a country of no rules.
“You can get anything you want here,” the taxi driver told me on the way to dinner.
He was talking about all the delicious food of course.
Food:
Singapore is my favorite place in the world to eat. Forget formal dining, check out the food hawker stalls is a must to experience Singapore’s diverse food selection.
Your first stop should be Maxwell Food Centre for some chicken satay and delicious Hainan chicken rice.
Politics
“You can get anything you want here.” Those words played in my head again as I entered the Brix bar at the Grand Hyatt Singapore. Brix is a unique wine cellar bar located right off of Orchard Road in the heart of big little Singapore.
What makes the bar unique is how friendly all the nonlocal women were not to mention the multiple offers I received to enjoy party favors. This can’t be going on in Singapore, can it?
After heading to the infamous Orchard Towers better known as the ‘Four Floors of [INSERT WORD RHYMING WITH STORES] my suspicions were confirmed: You can get anything you want here.
While it was all illegal and presumably you will get caned if you are arrested, it was mind boggling that in a country so known for its harsh rules, that everything, was taking place virtually out in the open.
Conclusion
When I arrived in Singapore, I knew I had to be on my best behavior. This was a strict country with zero tolerance for rule breakers.
Two days later, I learned a valuable lesson that would be reinforced time and time again when I traveled to other ‘strict’ countries: all of it is an illusion.
Singapore is 274.1 sq miles in size. I’d assume it wouldn’t be difficult for the authorities to know what goes on in these establishments yet somehow, tourists are given a pass to do what they please so long as they are reasonably discrete.
To be clear, the message isn’t ‘if you’re looking for a good time go to Singapore’, the message is don’t believe everything you read, no matter where you go.
Desensitized by the ‘rules’, the next day I decided to jaywalk while chewing gum at the same time.
