Since I’m going to Naples in a week, I figured that the best way to get acclimated to authentic Italian cuisine was to head to the Olive Garden in Times Square. Nothing says New York like Times Square. And nothing says Italian food like the internationally acclaimed Olive Garden.
The View
Without a reservation, TPOL strolled into the Olive Garden and was given the best seat in the house. The price of admission during New Years is $500+. Lucky diners who get my table have a great view of Times Square. Revelers can enjoy all the salad and bread sticks their hearts desire, but are not allowed to leave the restaurant. There are trade-offs in life.
The Wine
If you’re looking for fine Italian Pinot Grigio then order a bottle of Costco’s favorite, Cavit. Costco sells the 1.75 L bottle for $13. The Olive Garden sells the standard 750 mL for $27.
Salad & Breadsticks
What’s better than Olive Garden’s salad and bread sticks? Nothing. Especially with extra, fresh Parmesan.
The Soup
I prefer the minestrone but the zuppa toscana (translated to Tuscany Soup) is a crowd pleaser.
The Tour of Italy
For the main course, we had the tour of Italy. I began to wonder why I am wasting my time flying coach to Naples when the very best of Italy could be had right here in NY. Lasagna, fettucini alfredo, and chicken parm were perfectly prepared.
Dessert
And what’s dinner without dessert? That small piece of chocolate is enough to satisfy my sweet tooth.
The Bill
All of this magic was only $71. Unlike with Uber, I left a hefty tip.
Overall
Don’t bother going to Italy. Go to the Olive Garden. And not just any Olive Garden, go to the one in Times Square, the best place to be in NYC.
I really hope this was a joke
if it was, why aren’t you laughing?
Because your blog is a sick joke; it’s much more sad than funny.
Well you keep reading so…
Totally agree with the Mke
https://www.eataly.com/us_en/stores/nyc-flatiron/
Eataly is a terrible play on words and is overrated
Lucky must be jealous. After all, who needs Krug. Oh, I think you mean 1.5 liter, not 1.5 gallon on the Cavit.
true.
This post just won Boarding Area for sure haha. You should get a Freddie or something!
Yes!!!
Agree with TPOL here. No laughing.
Lol
Sorry dude. 18% is a crap tip in NYC.
How do you know what i tipped? Criticize without comprehension
LMAO, this was hilarious.
Nick, you are my new best friend. Thank you.
Great post lol
Thank you for having a sense of humor
I consider the Olive Garden as an Italian-American Denny’s 🙂 But hey if you enjoyed it, that’s what really matters, right?
While in NYC, we dine at Tony Di Napoli https://www.flickr.com/photos/kalboz/23472927185/
We also have dined at Bella Vita Trattoria on 43rd Street but Tony’s was much better and less expensive: https://www.flickr.com/photos/kalboz/22871754303/in/dateposted/
Of course. It was in jest but the food was decent enough
This almost makes up for you waiting a half hour with the tourists for espresso. My friend used to wait tables there…I don’t think he ever got more than a 5% tip. If you are looking for suggestions, tads is great for steak, sbarro is the spot for pizza and fresco tortilla has the best Mexican food.
Sbarro? Lol. Now i don’t know if you’re being serious.
It was either tongue in cheek or thepointsoflife has no tongue and thus can’t taste. Good joke, though. Next he is going to Au Bon Pain to save a trip to France.
Au bon!! Oui oui
Your posts are consistently funnier by a mile than the rest of BoardingArea.
Yes! One mile at a time lol
Oh good! I can Take Italy off my bucket list then.
Yes! I’ll see you at unlimited pasta and meatballs, inshala bro
Matt Barnes of Golden State knows what’s up: “You sit in your room,” he said on Sunday. “I think there’s an Olive Garden out there and then a Benihana. So you’ll definitely be locked in [on the game] all the way.”
http://www.espn.com/nba/story/_/id/19287923/golden-state-warriors-preferred-play-los-angeles-clippers-next-part-enjoy-la-nightlife
Listen gilby, it said suggested tip before I throw a breadstick at you
Exactly. Read!!!
lol is it wrong that I want all of that food? cause if it is, I don’t want to be right
Exactly!
Next you should try Sbarro for authentic Italian pizza
I hear arbys has the meat
one thing i’ve never eaten at olive garden : an olive.
wtf is up that?
very true. i dont think it’s in the salad either.
I laughed. This is my kind of humor.
Yes!