Fiji Airways: Nadi to Samoa in Coach
The business class party on Fiji Airways is over. It started in Vancouver (see Bula! Fiji Airways Vancouver to Nadi Flight Review) and went to and from Tonga (see Fiji Airways Nadi to Tonga: The Best Business 737 Experience & Tonga to Fiji: Not The Same Business). Flying to Samoa in economy was tolerable for two reasons: 1. It was only 21,500 Avios points instead of $739 one way (see Bus-Ted: Bula! Fiji Hub Points & Cash Summary). 2. The flight is only 1 hr and 55 minutes.
Baghdad, Iraq Day 1: Over Stimulation
What do you do when you have 3 nights in Baghdad? The answer is everything and nothing. I say everything because that’s plenty of time to become familiar with the city. I say nothing because it will be stimulus overload, making you wish that you had opted to stay in a nicer hotel with a pool retreat (see Baghdad Day 2 & Baghdad Day 3). Arrival Arriving in Baghdad was a surreal experience. I imagined the US armed forces using the airport as a base during the US occupation of Iraq. I imagined my parents leaving Saddam Hussein International Airport in the middle of the night under the cover of darkness in 1981 during the Iran-Iraq War. Visa Americans can pay for visas on arrival. The cost is $77. Exact change is useful (see Iraq Visa on Arrival: Take a Seat, Hand Over Some Cash, Then Exit). Airport It took a moment to comprehend that I was actually in Baghdad. Transfer I paid $2620 for a private guide and driver for my 8-day tour of Iraq. My driver was waiting for me when I arrived and kindly greeted me by offering a cigarette. Hotel Prices Included in the price was my accommodation. I was told that it was $60 a night for all my hotels throughout Iraq. I don’t know how every hotel was exactly the same price, but I had haggled enough for the tour price that I did not press for further details. I did check online and it said ‘contact hotel for rates.’ Hotel Imagine a guesthouse in Cambodia or Laos. That’s a three-star in Baghdad. The room smelled like smoke, the bathroom was dirty, and the furniture was well-dated. The bed, though firm, was surprisingly comfortable. While breakfast was included, it was not the big spread my mom would make on the weekends. They kept it simple: eggs, vegetables, and tea. TPOL’s Tip: While a luxury hotel would have provided an oasis from the hustle and bustle of Baghdad, I am glad I did not pay $300-$400 a night to stay at an underwhelming 5-star. Sleep In After a full day at the Turkish Lounge in Istanbul (see Why I Still Don’t Like the Turkish Lounge in IST ) and a 2AM flight to Baghdad (see This Flight Is Bound for Baghdad: IST to BGW Turkish Flight Review), it was foolish to think that I would have enough energy to start my tour at 8:30 AM. I told the driver to give me until 9:30 AM. When I woke up at noon, I was met with angry messages from the guide who scolded me for my tardiness. TPOL’s Tip: Take half a day to rest, lest you want to start off your tour on the wrong foot. Espresso Needed With the drama somewhat resolved, we began the marathon tour of Baghdad. The first stop of the cradle of civilization was the espresso shop for much-needed caffeine. It’s 5000 ($3.82) dinars for an espresso. Whoever said Iraq is cheap was only partially accurate. Martyr Museum Propaganda is an effective tool to keep authoritarians in power. It dupes the masses into believing that things are the way they hope them to be rather what they actually are. The Martyr Monument, erected in 1983, pays homage to those who died in the Iraq-Iranian war. Inside, the names of the deceased are inscribed on the walls. The government has since repurposed the museum to pay tribute to those who were killed for rising up against Saddam and those who were killed by ISIS. There is a photo of Saddam with a noose over his head with the word ‘tyrant’ written below. Processing it all is challenging. Ultimately, the museum showcases the worst in humanity, a reminder that evil can be perpetrated no matter who is in charge. Palestine Hotel I vividly recall the start of the Persian Gulf War and CNN’s coverage with Bernard Shaw. I remember the Baghdad skyline being lit up by bombs, speaking of propaganda, ‘patriot’ missiles.’ I also recall the Palestine Hotel where journalists and diplomats have stayed throughout the years. Seeing it in person was surreal. One Thousand And One Nights Do you know the stories from One Thousand And One Nights? Monuments from the fable are all over Baghdad. The soft side of Iraq wasn’t something I thought I would see. Baghdad Tower (Formerly International Saddam Tower) It’s no Burk Khalifa in Dubai, but Iraq also has a burj called the Baghdad Tower.
Al-Rahman Mosque
Following the second invasion of Iraq, Al-Rahman Mosque was not completed. It can be best seen from, of all places, a shopping mall. 40th Birthday I have symbolically landed somewhere interesting on my birthday to write a story that begins with, “On my X birthday I landed in Y.” I used this strategy when I landed in Shanghai in 2010 to launch my career as an international attorney. Specifically, I wrote… ( a full account of what happened can be found in my book Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong . . . Including Mine). I tried it again in Shanghai 2018 in the Tahiti Triumph Trip Report. I had a visa issue then (see Visa Blunder Part 3: China Visa-Free Transit Disaster (again)) and ended up having to go to Hong Kong for the day (see Visa Blunder Part 5: An Unexpected Birthday in Hong Kong). Thus far the artificial idea of creating a prologue has not been parlayed into anything extraordinary. Not one to give up, I arrived in Baghdad on my 40th birthday, my first time visiting the country since my parents left in 1981. The official celebration happened in the mall restaurant, just as it would have had I been born here. Shopping Mall There are no designer boutiques that you would find in the massive malls in Dubai. It wasn’t the fake market from Shanghai (see Fake Market Shanghai: 2019 Pricing Guide), but it was bootleg nonetheless. The Hands of Victory The war between Iraq and Iran that lasted from 1980-1988. It devastated the country but Saddam declared victory nonetheless. To commemorate this ‘achievement,’ he built Victory Arch, also known as the the Swords of Qādisīyah. It is said that the hands that brace the swords are exact replicas of his hands. Unfortunately, the Hands are in the Green Zone which is off-limits to tourists and civilians. The only photo opportunity is driving by slowly and hoping to snag a few photos before the armed guard became too upset. I had two runs at it and am happy with the results. Signs of Saddam One of the reasons I came to Iraq is because of my fascination with Saddam Hussein. I was disappointed that there are figuratively and literally no signs of Saddam in Baghdad. His omnipresence, both figuratively and literally, was everywhere during his reign. Now, it’s as if he never existed. The square where his statue was famously pulled down and stomped with sandals, an insult in Arab culture, stands empty except for a few fountains. The currency which also bore his face is a novelty souvenir that can be purchased for pennies on the dinar. It makes sense that public displays would be removed but like in the US, artifacts of our past should be in a museum. History should be scrubbed from the public domain. Alcohol There are liquor stores in Iraq. The stereotype in America is that Chaldeans, Catholic Iraqis, own liquor stores. Many do or did. In Iraq, it’s the same with the Christians who are the proprietors of such establishments. To continue the Baghdad birthday, I went to a small Italian restaurant and had some meze and a few beers. That was the only time I drank alcohol in Iraq. TPOL’s Tip: There are bars in Baghdad but most restaurants are dry. Overall It was an indescribable feeling to walk around Baghdad. The personal history, the media’s portrayal, and what it is now all came together and left me speechless.Travel Lesson: Leave the Duty-Free Wine Behind
TPOL has been accused of being frugal. I am guilty as charged. Frugality comes at a cost. Here, I wasted time in the immigration line and on an airport bench instead of the lovely Fiji Airways Business Class Lounge (see Fiji Airways Lounge Nadi: Inside & Out). Here’s what happened: I had one night at the Sheraton Fiji before my island hopping of the South Pacific. Not realizing that I would be lavished with bottle after bottle of champagne at the hotel (see We Appreciate Your Loyalty!), I bought two bottles of mid-priced Sauvignon Blanc at the duty-free. I took said bottles to Tonga and did not drink them there. I figured since they made it that far I should take them to Samoa with me. That meant I had to check my bag in Tonga, reclaim it in Fiji, and then check it in again. I immediately regretted this decision when I landed and encountered the longest, slowest immigration queue. If I had no checked luggage, I could have proceeded through the faster transfer line. After over an hour of waiting, I finally cleared customs and retrieved my luggage. Since my flight to Samoa was not departing until 11:55AM and I had arrived at 6:15AM, I could not check-in for my next flight. While the aforementioned business class lounge is great, Fiji Airport is not. There is nowhere to sit and nothing to do. Finally, I was able to check-in and then board the plane for Samoa. Of course, when I opened the bottles of Sauvignon Blanc in Samoa, I found both bottles to be quite disgusting. Serves me right for my frugality.
Tonga to Fiji: Not The Same Business
I left Tonga at 5:40 AM for Nadi, Fiji where I would have my second stay at the Fiji Business Class Lounge (see Fiji Airways Lounge Nadi: Inside & Out) while waiting for my flight to Samoa. The cost was the same in points, 12,500 and the out-of-pocket cost was still a great value, $28 vs. $466, but the hard product was not as lavish (see Fiji Airways Nadi to Tonga: The Best Business 737 Experience).
Guns & Butter: Tonga Travel Guide
TPOL’s Guns & Butter Travel Guide is the best way to see as much as you can in as little time as possible. Here’s how it works: A trip is composed of two factors: Labor And Lazy. The opportunity cost (what is given up) for relaxing and being Lazy is gained by being adventurous in the form of Labor and vice versa. The guide includes inefficient activities i.e., tourist traps that should be avoided and aspirational activities that are worth doing but may be impossible to see given the constraints of time and resources.
I only heard of Tonga thanks to the 2018 Pyeongchang Winter Olympics and the handsome man, Pita Taufatofua, who participated in my favorite hobby- walking around with no shirt, and he did so on international TV. Abs obsession aside, here’s the game plan should you find yourself there: Getting There The best way to fly to Tonga is from Fiji on Fiji Airways in business. It only costs 12,500 Avios and $52 versus $466 to fly business (see The Best Business 737 Experience). Where to Stay There are no points properties in Tonga. I picked a hotel because it had great reviews for pizza. The name of the establishment was Little Italy. While $129/night is a bit steep, the service was awesome. They provided the contact information for the whale swimming (see Whale Swimming Tonga: What Was I Thinking?). They arranged my taxi to the Anahulu Cave (see Tonga Cave Diving, Jumping & Gimping). They arranged a taxi for my 3AM ride to the airport. Getting There, The Hotel Speaking of airports, it costs 70 TOP ($29) to get to the airport, though I was charged 80 TOP ($34) from the airport. Even on a remote island, hustling is required when it comes to airport transfers. TPOL’s TIP: T-Mobile’s international roaming plan did not work in Tonga. I recommend an e-sim. What I Did
- Whale Swimming: To summarize the post above, I have done my fair share of adventurous things. Some were riskier (and dumber) than others (see Wild One: TPOL’s Top Daredevil Activities). Swimming with whales in Tonga is officially at the top of the list for the most reckless activity.
- Cave Gimping: There were crazy locals jumping, diving, and hanging off of the rocks.
- See the blowholes. I left that for Samoa, the next island on my trip. That was a mistake which will require me to fly all the way back to the South Pacific to rectify (see I Blew It: Missing the Blowholes in Samoa).
- I was not impressed with the dinner at the Seaview Lodge. The food was not expensive by Western standards but still too much for a casual night out. Lobster and octopus were $60. I should have skipped the $30 wine (see You Don’t Have to Order a Bottle of Wine).
- Wings and beer at Billfish. It’s the watering hotel for foreigners and locals alike. I was there on a Friday night, and it was getting quite busy by the time I left, a wise choice given my 5:40AM flight (see Tonga to Fiji: Not The Same Business).
- Heilala Festival & Beauty Pageant which takes place at the end of June and July.
- A cultural dance and dinner
- Visit other islands in Tonga. I stayed in Nuku’alofa, the capital.
Tonga Cave Diving, Jumping & Gimping
Anahulu Cave Tonga is part of the Bula! Fiji Hub Trip Report.
Don’t stop the recklessness. That was my theme when I was in Tonga. First, I went swimming with whales (see What Was I Thinking?). Then I thought I would push my luck by checking out an underground cave full of fresh water. Getting There I hired a taxi to take me to my hotel, wait for me, and take me back. Entrance The place reminded me of The Goonies, I’m not sure who found this place, but entrance is not free. The Cave Careful walking through the limestone. The floor is slippery when wet. The Swimmers I didn’t expect that music would be blasting and that there would be a small party here. The Divers There were crazy locals jumping, diving, and hanging off of the rocks. The Gimp The crazy jumpers thought that out of fear was the reason I was hesitant to jump. They did not know that I had ruptured my Achilles in 2022 (see TPOL Is Down). A year and a half later, I still don’t have my Durant lift. Moving On It’s worth checking out the cave for a few minutes. The Beach Before heading out, I took a stroll on the remote beach. The Earthquake On the way back, we heard there was an earthquake on the other side of the island. Like a scene from Baywatch, it would not be fun to be stuck in a cave waiting for Mitch to arrive. Overall Enough hazardous behavior for one day.
TPOL Is Ten And #MasterOfWon
- Alexander The Author: I published my first book ten years ago, Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong . . . Including Mine. I am in the early stages of writing my first novel which will win an Oscar for best adapted screenplay.
- IQKhameleon: I had early success in developing this idea, especially during the World Cup. I have had a few setbacks, but I am not ready to give up on what will be a global sports brand.
- TPOL: What can you expect from TPOL as a blogger? First, you won’t see me on TikTok. That experiment, like YouTube, did not last long (see The End of Days: TPOL Joins TikTok & TPOL’s Way Out of Poverty Is Not Vlogging). Just because I won’t be dancing doesn’t mean I won’t be creating videos. Look for more drone videos to support the IQ idea (see VIDEO: SkyDio 2 Inaugural Flight: Rio Mar, Puerto Rico). Finally, you will see a new website from scratch which will be easier to navigate. I am also building in automation features which will allow me to post more frequently.
This Is TPOL BREAKING NEWS: Ladyboy Fight in Bangkok
Footage shows how the first sex worker was dragged from the Citin Sukhumvit 11 hotel, accused of being part of a group that clashed with the locals and stole their customers the night before.
However, the local ladyboys erupted in fury when they saw their alleged attackers – sparking chaotic scenes that escalated into a mass brawl.
In the video, stilettos fly as local transgender women are seen hitting police, climbing on buildings, stamping on other girls, throwing objects, and even having their clothes torn off.
Read the full article here.No TPOL March Madness Bracket. And No One Cares
Simply The Best: February 2024
- Whale Swimming Tonga: What Was I Thinking?
- 2024 Residencies Announced! Barcelona, Buenos Aires, Cape Town
- Pho 39: Choice #2 in NYC
- Grayson NYC: Stay for the Revival Bedding
- Capital One Venture X Business: Send Help, I’m Approved
- Avianca’s LifeMiles Chat Sucks: Are You Surprised?
- Death Penalty for Opening an Emergency Door?