Vegas Knockout: If These Walls Could Talk, The Riviera Hotel & Casino

(26) Riviera vs (10) Venetian 

The Riviera was the first hotel I ever stayed at in Las Vegas. It has been in operation for 59 years and it’s still going strong. Since my initial stay, I have not returned to the Riviera but it isn’t because I had a bad time. It’s because there is something pure, almost sacred about one’s first time in Las Vegas that should be left undisturbed.

The memories live on in the form of pictures, capturing moments filled with sounds from iPod dock speakers, livers overrun by Grey Goose, and heads full of ignorance.

Looking at pics from the pool, many years past its prime, I can’t help but think about the celebrities and parties the hotel hosted. Rather than give you the rundown of my first time, I’d rather share fun facts about the Riviera that make my memories that much sweeter:

  • Frank Sinatra lived in a suite while performing at the property in the 1990s
  • Notable performers in 1970s – Dean Martin, Steve Martin, Pia Zadora, Burt Bacharach, George Carlin, Phyllis Diller, Liza Minelli, Jimmie Walker
  • Ninth casino opened on the Las Vegas Strip
  • Englebert Humperdinck made his Las Vegas debut at Riviera Hotel & Casino in 1969
  • Famous clients at the Men’s Salon and Celebrity include MC Hammer, Burt Reynolds, Liberace and Joe Pesci, among others
  • Riviera Hotel & Casino is a pet-friendly hotel (no need to stay at Early’s Apartment)

If these walls could talk, imagine what they shouldn’t say.

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Tourist

 

Vegas Knockout: A Recap of Week 3

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3 weeks of the Knockout Bracket and still so many hotels vying for a shot at the title. That can only mean one thing: I’ve been to Vegas far too many times.

Last week the Westin put up a valiant fight with its heavenly bed while the Bellagio became the joke of the town. The Paris had me spoiled with the glamour of gold while the Palazzo graciously took my money at the Strip’s best sports book.

Week 3

All Vegas’d out, Alex is heading to Rehab to see what comes next.

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Don’t stop the party

 

 

Vegas Knockout: Roast: The Bellagio

(9) Bellagio vs (8) Skylofts at MGM Grand

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The icon of the Las Vegas Strip is undoubtedly the Bellagio. Situated right in the center of sin, the Bellagio is the reason tourists from far and wide come to Vegas. From the outside the hotel is stunning and timeless, making it hard to believe that it has only been a Vegas landmark since 1998.

Regrettably, that’s where the positivity of this resort review ends. It’s one thing to stop and gawk at the fountains and the perceived luxury of this beautiful structure, it’s another thing entirely to stay and play at the hotel.

Let the Bellagio Roast begin.

Bellagio, did Danny Ocean really steal that money? It looks like you are in need of an upgrade and can’t find the funds.

Bellagio, how many winners have you had at the sports book? Probably as many as you can seat. Maybe take some advice from the Palazzo and build a sports book that’s bigger than my living room.

Bellagio, you call this a suite? Refund my money from using the famous $20 trick. This room is older than, well you get the point.

Bellagio, I do love your casino, especially in the winter. It is a great shortcut when walking to your neighboring property, Caesars Palace.

Bellagio, the Bank Nightclub? Is that place still open?

Oh, eff this, I’m going to go back outside and look at the fountains.

Espresso of the World

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a cup of coffee on a saucer

My next book set for publication is entitled The World Press. The World Press is my personal collection of cups of espresso I’ve enjoyed around the world and the stories that accompany them. Each story begins with the literal image of the cup and is further illustrated by the metaphorical cup of the accompanying culture.

From a social perspective, the press is unique: First, the same beverage is shared all over the world. Second, it is shared and consumed in similar ways, with slight cultural/regional variations. And third, the topics discussed over caffeinated cups are the same: politics, weather, religion.

As I learned from writing my first book, it’s not the writing process that is difficult, but the editing and marketing that pose the biggest challenges. In order to move the project forward, I am publishing an entry for each city. That way I can create a buzz (pun intended) and get a kick-start on the revising process.

So pour a cup of java, click a country, and let’s get on with the journey!

 

 

 

 

 

Vegas Knockout: Why Oh, Why Do I Love Paris?

(13) Paris vs (4) Cosmopolitan 

I love Paris in the spring time
I love Paris in the fall
I love Paris in the winter when it drizzles
I love Paris in the summer when it sizzles
I love Paris every moment
Every moment of the year
I love Paris, why oh, why do I love Paris?

I love Paris because it was comped.

When I think of high roller suites in Vegas, I think of the movie Rain Man where Charlie Babbitt and Ray are dancing in their hotel suite before Ray’s date with Iris:

Yeah. She’s very sparkly. Definitely very sparkly.

Very sparkly.

In Vegas, low rollers get a free room at Early’s Apartment. Medium rollers get a free room at the Priceline Pretenders. And what do high rollers get?

High rollers get the largest room at the Paris Las Vegas Hotel and Casino.

Apart from my first class fight aboard Emirates, I haven’t seen so much gold in my life.

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Enter the Palace of Versailles
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3 Bedrooms of Gold

The freebies do not end with the room.

Looking for some food? Looking for some drinks? Looking for a party?

You’re money is no good here. But your room number and last name is.

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How sweet it is to be rollin
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How about a nightcap?

Or maybe you are looking for a quiet evening in?

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Make a few drinks at your own stocked bar
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Then perform some show tunes on your grand piano.

I love Paris, why oh, why do I love Paris?

Vegas Knockout: That’s Palazzo, That’s Palazzo

(12) Palazzo vs (5) MirageĀ 

In Napoli where love is king
When boy meets girl
Here’s what they sing

When the moon hits your eye
Like a big pizza pie, that’s amore
When the world seems to shine
Like you’ve had too much wine, that’s amore

That’s Palazzo, that’s Palazzo.

Ah Palazzo, the Vegas hotel that knows what I want in Vegas, i.e., to feel that I am not in Vegas. The trend, as you have seen from the inception of my Knockout BracketĀ is to find a hotel that tricks you into believing that you are in the middle of the action while being far away from the grime.

Enter the Palazzo, the second coming of its sister resort, the Venetian. The Palazzo is like a fine Chianti, rich yet unassuming, bold but unpredictable.

Let’s examine the best reason to stay at the Palazzo besides my appreciation for fine Italian wines- sports gambling! The sports book at the Palazzo is bar none the best in all of Vegas. Most sports books in Vegas have oversized fake leather couches with impatient waiters, losing patrons, and chimney smokers. Ask for a burger and you’ll get a burned piece of roadkill and a hefty bill of $16, gratuity sneakily included.

What’s worse than when your 15 team parlay inexplicably doesn’t come through? I’ll tell you: uncomfortable chairs, outdated televisions, and terrible service. (I’m looking atĀ you Bellagio.)

The sports book at the Palazzo has couches and private televisions. Imagine watching Michigan lose another game to a MAC opponent while being comfortable! Sure your waging ticket is worthless and you wish that Brady Hoke was fired yesterday but how much are you enjoying those nachos?

Of course, the Palazzo resort has beautiful rooms, access to Tao Beach (to be covered in the Venetian review), and the mediocre nightclub Lavo, but the reason you stay here is to break the bank banking on parlays.

Yet with all this, and most likely due to unlucky tournament seeding,Ā the Palazzo is knocked out byĀ the Mirage.

Ain’t that a kick in the head.

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Throw some D’s!

Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong…Except Mine to Blackberry

I’ve been doing all sorts of things including driving a taxi cab to promote my book Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong (available here for purchase on Kindle and paperback).

An article in the NYT today titled “Blackberry, Under New Leadership Unveils Its Newest Smartphone” caught my attention, reminding me of Step 5 of my book.

Step 5 of the Ten-Step plan to break free from your cubicle is to “Remain unHRable”, a concept of my own creation that describes those who can’t deal with the mundane of Mondays, choosing instead to try and make it on their own. Anyhow, within the step, I describe how an unHRable like myself couldn’t even land an interview at Blackberry even though I sent what has turned out to be an oracle of a cover letter.

Check it out below: Had they listened to me then, maybe they wouldn’t have to do what they are doing now.

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Perhaps I should forward this along with a copy of my book to the current CEO, Mr. Chen.

 

The TSA Won’t Jam

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The TSA won’t jam nor would the security at the Turkish airport, the Emirates airport, and any other airport on any given day for that matter.

“Laptops, liquids, gels, aerosols must be removed from your bag,” the TSA agent repeats over and over like a grandfather clock determined to keep time. Somehow there’s always someone who forgets to remove something, someone who is outraged that something is being taken away, and someone that complains that his tax dollars are being wasted. (The latter is certainly true of the agent who checks ID, scribbles nonsense, yet somehow passengers still get on planes without the requisite documentation.)

Like a programmed robot, I go through the motions of complying with the security regulations as I hear the agent say,for the tenth time, “Nothing in your pockets. Make sure you have absolutely nothing in your pockets.” In the body scanner, I put my hands up, fake a smile, and wait for the all clear. Then seconds tick by as I wait for my bag to make its way through the X-Ray machine.

The ugly gray bin arrives with my personal belongings as I do a quick inventory to make sure I don’t leave anything behind:

Watch? Check

Blackberry? Check

Android? Check

Camera? Check

Wallet? Check

Passport? Check

Boarding pass? Check

“Good job, not forgetting to take everything out of your pockets,” I tell myself.

Then I hear the inevitable inquiry, “Is this your bag?” followed by, “I’m going to have to search it.”

With no regard and no compliments as to how well I packed, how organized my bag is, the agent unzips this, removes that, till he finally comes to the item in question.

“I’m going to have to test this,” the TSA agent says.

“What is this?” the Emirates security agent questions.

“Open this!” the Turkish agent suspiciously demands.

Because it is a serious crime in 74 countries to grin during a security screening, I keep a straight face and oblige the agent. Moments later after it is scanned, examined, tested and then re-scanned, re-xamined, and re-tested, I’m given permission to be on my way.

Finally at the gate, I ask myself whether bringing it along is worth the hassle.

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Big or baby, the Jambox brings nothing but headaches

 

 

The Coalition of the Wary: The US ‘Allies’ Against ISIS

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Today CNN is lauding that the US is not going at it alone against the scum of the earth known as ISIS, ISIL, or whatever they want to call themselves. They have found allies in the most unexpected of places, the Middle East. These countries includes Bahrain, Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, Jordan and Qatar.

There are many reasons why this coalition is very interesting. To begin, historically countries in the Middle East have been reluctant to proactively side with Western actions within the borders of their neighboring countries. They may be in favor of regime change and use backdoor diplomatic channels to express such beliefs, but it is beyond rare to see them publicly support, let alone openly participate in such displeasure.

So why besides the obvious opposition to ISIS extremism are these historically neutral countries suddenly willing to take sides with the West? CNN political commentator Peter Beinhart’s calls it “a remarkable diplomatic achievement.” He commented, “I don’t think it was expected that there would be this much Arab support.”

Mildly put, he is being short-sighted. While I agree with his statement that “Prominent religious leaders have said ISIS is not representative of Islam,” his conclusion that “now you have countries that are coming to the fore to attack it,” is naive.

Let’s examine what this coalition has in common: Every participating country is comprised of a rich ruling family that have warranted fears that their reign may soon be undone. Their participation has nothing to do with their views on religion and everything to do with money. Saudi Arabia, the largest economy in the Middle East, with the strictest social policies in the region could not afford to overlook the threat that an ISIS revolution could have not only on its economy but also with containing its suppressed people who are devoid of many human rights. Next, the UAE which has transformed itself from its lowly beginning in the pearling industry to an economic powerhouse is also at risk from ISIS momentum. The UAE has become an icon of evil to radical groups like ISIS that see its modernization as a sacrilegious aberration from the tenets of Islam. An ISIS state would also threaten Qatar whose wealth has skyrocketed while many questions remain as to whom the Qatari government pledge their allegiance. Countries like Bahrain which have withstood the progression of the Arab Spring by threat and use of violence could ill afford the instability within its own borders that an ISIS advancement would produce.

Which brings us to Syria, the country that receives the undeserved positive externality from outside military intervention. In 2011, President Obama stated that Bashir al-Assad must go. Three years ago it was unthinkable that the US and its allies could conduct air strikes within Syria without staunch opposition from the Assad regime. Today, it’s ostensibly welcomed because Assad’s biggest threat to power is no longer the Western world but ISIS.

Where does this all leave us? Not with the doe-eyed, optimistic outlook that Mr. Beinhart would lead us to believe, but with the harsh reality that rejoicing in the coalition of the self-serving today will inevitably turn into lamenting in the coalition of the undeserving tomorrow.

It is clear that ISIS must go but so must Assad and everyone else.

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Vegas Knockout: It’s Still a Westin

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(17) Westin vs (1) Caesars 

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name.

The Westin Las Vegas isn’t a Vegas super hotel. It doesn’t have a nightclub with an Ibiza guest DJ, it isn’t located right in the center of the strip, and there aren’t wild pool parties on the weekend (though the pool is open 24 hours).

So why would I stay at the Westin and why should any of you? The answer is because it is an SPG property that provides all the familiarities of home. With platinum SPG status you get free Wi-Fi (without having to pay the outrageous Resort Fee of $35+ charged by most Vegas hotels), 4PM late checkout (a lifesaver for a Vegas weekend), and the Westin heavenly bed. SPG Platinums can opt for free breakfast which in Vegas is a great late night snack. In addition, the service, the quality of the room, the amenities are on par with Westins worldwide. Finally, the room rate is reasonable all things considered.

But, as was the problem with Early’s Apartment, the Westin isn’t in the heart of the action as it is not located directly on the Strip (though it is only a block away). Still, the Westin is a great spot to start your stay in Vegas (if you are looking to relax before commencement of the festivities) and a great place to end your stay (if you are looking to decompress and detox before heading home).

In the end, it’s a Westin. That alone says enough.