An American Douche in Tokyo Lounge


No, it isn’t me. I’m in transit from Auckland to Shanghai via Tokyo. After a tremendous flight on Air New Zealand, I’m too full to be the fat guy in this lounge. Fortunately, some other guy has picked up the slack and punctuated his performance by walking around on his iPhone wearing a Karate Kid inspired Japanese headband while yapping away to his buddy about his lounge experience loudly on speaker.

I detest people who use speaker phone in public places, scoff at parents who let their children play their video games with the volume on the subway, and want to write a strongly worded letter to Southwest passengers who watch the free in flight entertainment without headphones. Who raised these people? How are they not more embarrassed with themselves? Why is self-awareness an overlooked attribute?

Each time he walks by, I get closer to telling him how rude he is. I have no problem addressing issues such as this but think better of confronting someone in airports. In 2004, I got into an interesting altercation with a University of Texas fan on his way to the Rose Bowl to play Michigan (Vince Young single-handedly beat us). The ish talking to a turn for the worse when he decided that pushing and yelling was acceptable airport behavior. I diffused the situation before both of us ended up in the airport lockup.

As I type this post, I’m hearing his Facetime ring again. Maybe it’s worth getting strangled to prove my point because if I don’t tell him, who will?

Serenity now! as it was in NZ
Serenity now! as it was in NZ


  1. Not sure what’s going on with our society, where people have absolutely no respect for the people around them. Common courtesy has become an uncommon virtue….

  2. Oh there are a couple of easy fixes for this. The fun one is to call up your voicemail, and then follow the dude around talking on your phone like you’re the one on the other end of his call (and speak loudly). That works about 80% of the time.

    Of course you could also pickup a small jammer for about $30 in Bangkok and just kick that on anytime he’s within earshot. She’ll have to exit the area (or the lounge) to get a signal. Works like a champ 100% of the time…

  3. I was in UberPOOL and the other passenger was on the phone.. ON SPEAKER the whole time.. after some time, i decided to play youTube videos loudly as well… it helped.. I also complained to Uber that there should be some etiquette information sent out.

    On another note.. I’d like some feedback on another situation as i’ve got mixed feedback:

    I was at neighborhood resturant where a lot of people go to have a nice dinner and eat at the bar. There’s a lot of good side conversations with locals that also live in the area there. I was there and met an older lady at the bar and there was also a younger gal there that was on the phone talking to someone. The older lady was annoyed by the younger yapping the whole time on the phone and asked her to go outside for her call. She was on the phone with multiple people at the bar for already 20 min. She came back in another 20 min and started to give the older lady attitude.

    I’ve heard different perspectives:
    – Aren’t you just talking to someone else as well at the bar? Does it matter if its in person or on a phone?
    – People on phones are less aware of their surroundings (therefore volume of their own voice) and should always take calls outside.

    I’m interested in peoples feedback/opinion…

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