The Wolverine Survival Guide is part of the Trip Report: Buckeyes Wolverines 2016 which covers the following places:
What do you do in a city where everyone hates you? Do you cower and not wear your alma mater’s colors? Do you say, “May the best team win?” Or do you go full monty and floss your Michigan gear from head to toe?
Guess which one I did?
Columbus is a great town and the Sheraton Columbus was a great refuge for Wolverines looking for proximity to the game and the bar scene while being far enough away from the mayhem.
Day One: Food & Drink
The band of mighty Wolverines braved the empty streets of downtown Columbus and headed to Condado’s Tacos for some fuel for the long evening ahead of us. It was happy hour so I ordered a margarita but quickly switched to Don Julio as the margarita was essentially all sour mix. While I enjoyed the atmosphere, I thought the food was terrible. The restaurant provides a list of taco ingredients and encourages patrons to build their own. Why give people the opportunity to mess up one of the world’s most perfect treats? This do it yourself style became a theme of the trip as we also went to another awful place, Blaze Pizza, for the worst pizza next to Seychelles, that I have ever experienced.
Looking to urinate on the Wolverines, look no further than this bar and nightclub where I had one too many shots with former Buckeye football players.
Day 2: The Game
This is what we came for. But before we went to the Horseshoe, a tailgate was in order.
There’s absolutely no point in going to home games. I realized this after walking into a bar packed with Buckeye fans and having drinks with the enemy. To be perfectly honest, the people were great and hospitable. Initially, I was scared that I would be assaulted, spat on, or shunned but the opposite happened. All we did was make friends.
The Walk To The Game
This does not mean that my entire time in Columbus was without incident. On the way to the game someone threw a bottle of beer in my direction. It smashed only a few feet away from me. That’s not cool.
Wow! The energy was electric. It was remarkable. I’ve been to stadiums throughout the globe but nothing compared to this.
In the end Michigan did not execute and while I hate to say it, the refs played a part in the outcome. Was it a first down? Probably not. Was the call going to be reversed? Absolutely not. That wasn’t the call that I was most upset about. The pass interference call on Michigan on a long third down was a killer.
The Walk of Shock
Stunned, I walked for over an hour in the direction of the hotel. Annoying fans tried to tell me ‘good game’ but I refused to extend my hand to welcome their disingenuous congratulations.
“We never win anymore.” When is Michigan going to be great again? Echos of The Donald went through my head as I decided to get out of bed and rally for one more night. The first stop was Short North Pint House, a chill beer garden. From there we went to Bakersfield Tacos where I enjoyed a great spicy margarita. Inevitably, the crew ended up at BBR then the aforementioned disgusting Blaze Pizza (photos not necessary).
The hangover the next day was not from drinking but from losing to a team that Michigan should have beat. I packed up my stuff, checked out of the hotel, and readied myself for the drive back to Michigan. But first, I thought I would stop off for some Buckeye Pho after I had great thin crust Donato’s pizza in bed.