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Wednesday, February 11, 2026
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The 15th Club: Don’t Leave Home Without It

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The 15th Club: Don’t Leave Home Without It

TPOL may be starring in He Got Game 2 as his skills go up and his scores go down. Part of the Golf Course Review section will also include equipment that every traveling golfer should not leave home without. Last week, I wrote about the Search of the Lost Golf Ball, a game within a game. As much fun as I have diving into the creek, I’m pretty sure this behavior is frowned up at some of the nicer courses I plan to play.

That is why I purchased the 15th Club: Callaway Ball Retriever for $35. (I didn’t come up with the name.) Now I can go fishing for balls without taking off my shirt. The retriever paid for itself in one round as I was able to catch a wide assortment of golf balls.

Here’s a pic of me fishing:

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PayDay Loans: Germany’s Shady Solution for Greece

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PayDay Loans: Germany’s Shady Solution for Greece

Dear Greece,

Let me tell you a story of an unconscionable business in the United States known as PayDay Loans. The idea is that you need cash today but won’t receive your paycheck until tomorrow. In order to bridge that gap, your friendly PayDay lender will advance you your paycheck but charge a percentage as his fee. This week you are happy to have money in your pocket but guess what happens next week? Next week, you are short again and have to return to your gangster payday lender for an advance on your advance. Soon thereafter, you’ll never see the full amount of your paycheck as you find yourself paying for fee after fee. In the end you are working as hard as ever but have unintentionally given yourself a substantial pay cut. There is no way out of this vicious cycle.

The same thing will happen to you Greece if you take another bailout from the predatory lender dominated by Germany and the Dom Merkel.

Now you get Angela as a partner. Any problems you go to Angela. Trouble with the bill, you can go to Angela. Trouble with Turkey, Finland, ISIS, you can go to Angela. But now you have to come up with Angela’s money every month no matter what.

The economy is bad? Fuck you pay me.

Oh tourism is down? Fuck you pay me.

The olive harvest went poorly huh? Fuck you pay me.

Also, Angela can do anything. Especially run up bills on Greece’s credit. And why not? Greece can’t pay for it anyway. And as soon as the interest is paid, you take the bonds and sell it at a discount. It doesn’t matter. It’s all profit. And then finally, when there’s nothing left, when you can’t borrow another buck from the central bank or buy another case of olive oil, you bust the joint out. You light a match. And steal the beloved islands.

 

AirAsia to Maldives: Good Deal, Bad Deal, No Deal?

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AirAsia to Maldives: Good Deal, Bad Deal, No Deal?

‘Now Everyone Can Fly to Maldives.’ AirAsia is doing what AirAsia does, providing affordable flights. Flights from KL to the Maldives are $89 which is ridiculously low and convenient for those out there that still believe the hassle of getting to the remote archipelago is worthwhile. The ad also says hotels starting from $49 which must be on the main island not Rangali.

Still I have to call this fare buster a ‘no deal’ because getting to Maldives is not the problem. The problem is justifying the cost of $30 hamburger and mediocre service. Oh and not being able to bring your own alcohol.

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Park Hyatt Moscow, Postponed AGAIN

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Park Hyatt Moscow, Postponed AGAIN

When you live in Mongolia you expect travel to be difficult. When you live in the United States, you expect travel to be easy. Trips to Costa Rica on a whim are simple as 1, 2, 3 with a Frontier’s card and the centrally located airport of Phoenix Sky Harbor. Then all of a sudden life throws out a deranged curve ball like 50 Cent at a baseball game and you find yourself back in the United States but just as landlocked as if you were still in Mongolia. All of a sudden, the Southwest Companion pass becomes useless as the state of your residence is one of the few places to embrace manifest low fare destiny.

TPOL has tried his best to keep his domicile a secret, believing that the winds of fortune will change, propelling him back into flight. But today, with the Moscow trip postponed yet again, it’s time to face the reality that my wings have been clipped. This year despite having 2,000,000+ points, I have had to postpone trips to:

  • Detroit, Michigan
  • Punta Cana, Dominican Republic
  • Mexico City, Mexico
  • Miami, Florida
  • Los Angeles, California
  • Reykjavík, Iceland

It would be by great luck that the marathon to Athens goes off without a hitch. The only good news is that Iceland + Moscow are all set for 2016 as is Tahiti…if I ever get out of here.

Somebody please pick me up, I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere.
Somebody please pick me up, I’m stuck in the middle of nowhere.

 

Week 1: Athens Marathon Update

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Week 1: Athens Marathon Update

One week of training is done for the Athens marathon and in order to keep myself honest and motivated, I’ll be publishing my weekly diary of all things marathon.

Here’s what happened this week:

  • Anti-austerity riots in Greece
  • 6 miles in 57:01:06

15 more weeks to go. Hopefully that Virgin Atlantic flight to LHR is available.

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Pirates of the Caribbean: Search of the Lost Golf Ball

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Pirates of the Caribbean: Search of the Lost Golf Ball

Golf is a game of etiquette, integrity, and order. Then your f*!king ball goes in the creek and all bets are off. After losing ball after ball after ball, I have found a game within a game i.e., searching for the lost ball. I’m not talking about walking around or driving aimlessly for that missing Titelist. I’m talking about taking off your shoes and socks and getting right in the creek.

I find myself letting others play through as I wade the creek, topless at times, searching for the treasure of Callaways. The Nike pieces of garbage I leave behind because no one, not even Tiger wants to deal with Nike golf gear. Today we hit the jackpot coming across little nooks and crannies filled with golf balls once thought to be lost forever. I didn’t take the time to count but judging by the picture, I’d say there are well over 30.

On the final hole, I put one in the creek and was tempted to go back in and venture for more. Alas, my sniffling nose and frosty air forced me to abandon this plan. The golf course giveth and it taketh away.

Teeing off
Teeing off
Then this
Then this…the golf balls call to us like the treasure of Cortes. We are cursed men. 
Leads to this
Leads to this
And these toys
And these toys
The shivering blurry photo of the lost treasure
The shivering blurry photo of the lost treasure

Virgin Business…Athens Afterthought

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Virgin Business…Athens Afterthought

Who is TPOL kidding? Flying peasant class is for the birds. Actually the birds probably have a nicer time because they don’t have to go through TSA. While I do have my 20k AA flight on hold, I, as was the case in Mongolia, came up with a better way to go from point A to point B. Recently, I applied for a useless Delta Amex Platinum which gives 60k pesos after 2k spent. Those pesos are looking mighty attractive right now since I found a flight from the middle of nowhere to London for 62,500 + $5.60 in business on Virgin Atlantic. I can even wave to my parents as I pass through the D.

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Look at all that delicious business class

The issue is whether the flights will be there after the closing date of my statement. We shall see. But for now I’m banking on this Athens afterthought.

 

Athens Marathon: Step 1, The Flight to Greece

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Athens Marathon: Step 1, The Flight to Greece

Wheels up! Even though I haven’t received confirmation of my marathon registration, I’ve going to go ahead and book my award flight. There are no great options for OneWorld flights to Athens so I had to be a bit creative and unfortunately come out-of-pocket to secure a reasonable flight.

My three options are:

  1. Depart November 6th from Philadelphia to Madrid, Madrid to Athens in coach on Iberia arriving November 7th at 3PM, only hours before the gun goes off at 9AM on November 8th.
    • Total cost: 20,000 AAdvantage Miles + taxes + AA calling on the phone fee which they won’t waive even if I complain because they’ll say that Iberia is bookable on AA.com. Looking on British, it shows fuel surcharges of $300 but I don’t think that would be the case if I booked through American.
  2. Depart November 5th from Denver to Munich in coach on US Airways arriving November 6th at 8:50AM. From there I could stay in Munich for a night or make the connection to Athens the same day. This would give me an extra day to recoup before the race.
    • Total Cost 20,000 AAdvantage Miles + $5.60 + $101 for flight from MUC to ATH
  3. Delta from Montana for $2750 connection in MSP, JFK, and FCO.

As tempting as option 3 sounds, I am going with option 2. TPOL lover and friends are going to wonder how I can fly coach after so many lovely experiences in business and first. Worse, how can I fly US Airways across the pond? Well, first there were zero business class seats available unless you want to pay British gas money. Much like valet parking, I refuse to pay. Second, and more importantly, much of the fun of flying business is the ability to eat, drink, and be fat and merry. With the race only days away, I won’t be able to ask for an 8th glass of champagne. On the other hand, being able to relax in a lie flat seat would make the transition from thriving America to a crumbling Eurozone more comfortable.

Ah well, off to Greece I go in peasant class. Wish me luck.

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Too Pale to Fly: A Ridiculous True Story

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Too Pale to Fly: A Ridiculous True Story

So a friend of mine posted this story on Facebook and I had to share it here. Per the Mirror, a girl looking to board an Etihad flight to Maldives was denied boarding initially because of her pale complexion. The gate attendant thought she must be ill to look like that. The best part is her father’s explanation of her skin tone: “We live in Scotland. She is a redhead and she has a pale complexion. That’s just the way she is.”

Then when she finally received the go ahead to board, she ended up in Maldives without her luggage.

Read the full story here.

Athens Marathon Registered! Trip Report Diary Begins

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Athens Marathon Registered! Trip Report Diary Begins

Today I registered for the marathon in Athens. I will be creating a Trip Report Diary on the whole process from the start of training, the booking of flights, the buying of performance enhancing drugs, until I cross the finish line and find my way home, hopefully as a first class champion.

Who knows what will be in this diary. Perhaps I’ll include a Starbury crying bathtub scene as I lament my decision to sign up and publicize it.

Before I get into all that, I still have to do the following:

Also, I have to make sure that my payment went through. Would you use a credit card or trust the National Bank of Greece with a bank wire? All concerns should be forwarded to merkel@colonizegreece.de

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