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Sunday, January 18, 2026
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Vegas Knockout: Why Oh, Why Do I Love Paris?

(13) Paris vs (4) Cosmopolitan 

I love Paris in the spring time
I love Paris in the fall
I love Paris in the winter when it drizzles
I love Paris in the summer when it sizzles
I love Paris every moment
Every moment of the year
I love Paris, why oh, why do I love Paris?

I love Paris because it was comped.

When I think of high roller suites in Vegas, I think of the movie Rain Man where Charlie Babbitt and Ray are dancing in their hotel suite before Ray’s date with Iris:

Yeah. She’s very sparkly. Definitely very sparkly.

Very sparkly.

In Vegas, low rollers get a free room at Early’s Apartment. Medium rollers get a free room at the Priceline Pretenders. And what do high rollers get?

High rollers get the largest room at the Paris Las Vegas Hotel and Casino.

Apart from my first class fight aboard Emirates, I haven’t seen so much gold in my life.

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Enter the Palace of Versailles
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3 Bedrooms of Gold

The freebies do not end with the room.

Looking for some food? Looking for some drinks? Looking for a party?

You’re money is no good here. But your room number and last name is.

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How sweet it is to be rollin
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How about a nightcap?

Or maybe you are looking for a quiet evening in?

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Make a few drinks at your own stocked bar
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Then perform some show tunes on your grand piano.

I love Paris, why oh, why do I love Paris?

Vegas Knockout: That’s Palazzo, That’s Palazzo

(12) Palazzo vs (5) MirageĀ 

In Napoli where love is king
When boy meets girl
Here’s what they sing

When the moon hits your eye
Like a big pizza pie, that’s amore
When the world seems to shine
Like you’ve had too much wine, that’s amore

That’s Palazzo, that’s Palazzo.

Ah Palazzo, the Vegas hotel that knows what I want in Vegas, i.e., to feel that I am not in Vegas. The trend, as you have seen from the inception of my Knockout BracketĀ is to find a hotel that tricks you into believing that you are in the middle of the action while being far away from the grime.

Enter the Palazzo, the second coming of its sister resort, the Venetian. The Palazzo is like a fine Chianti, rich yet unassuming, bold but unpredictable.

Let’s examine the best reason to stay at the Palazzo besides my appreciation for fine Italian wines- sports gambling! The sports book at the Palazzo is bar none the best in all of Vegas. Most sports books in Vegas have oversized fake leather couches with impatient waiters, losing patrons, and chimney smokers. Ask for a burger and you’ll get a burned piece of roadkill and a hefty bill of $16, gratuity sneakily included.

What’s worse than when your 15 team parlay inexplicably doesn’t come through? I’ll tell you: uncomfortable chairs, outdated televisions, and terrible service. (I’m looking atĀ you Bellagio.)

The sports book at the Palazzo has couches and private televisions. Imagine watching Michigan lose another game to a MAC opponent while being comfortable! Sure your waging ticket is worthless and you wish that Brady Hoke was fired yesterday but how much are you enjoying those nachos?

Of course, the Palazzo resort has beautiful rooms, access to Tao Beach (to be covered in the Venetian review), and the mediocre nightclub Lavo, but the reason you stay here is to break the bank banking on parlays.

Yet with all this, and most likely due to unlucky tournament seeding,Ā the Palazzo is knocked out byĀ the Mirage.

Ain’t that a kick in the head.

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Throw some D’s!

Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong…Except Mine to Blackberry

I’ve been doing all sorts of things including driving a taxi cab to promote my book Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong (available here for purchase on Kindle and paperback).

An article in the NYT today titled “Blackberry, Under New Leadership Unveils Its Newest Smartphone” caught my attention, reminding me of Step 5 of my book.

Step 5 of the Ten-Step plan to break free from your cubicle is to “Remain unHRable”, a concept of my own creation that describes those who can’t deal with the mundane of Mondays, choosing instead to try and make it on their own. Anyhow, within the step, I describe how an unHRable like myself couldn’t even land an interview at Blackberry even though I sent what has turned out to be an oracle of a cover letter.

Check it out below: Had they listened to me then, maybe they wouldn’t have to do what they are doing now.

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Perhaps I should forward this along with a copy of my book to the current CEO, Mr. Chen.

 

The TSA Won’t Jam

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The TSA won’t jam nor would the security at the Turkish airport, the Emirates airport, and any other airport on any given day for that matter.

“Laptops, liquids, gels, aerosols must be removed from your bag,” the TSA agent repeats over and over like a grandfather clock determined to keep time. Somehow there’s always someone who forgets to remove something, someone who is outraged that something is being taken away, and someone that complains that his tax dollars are being wasted. (The latter is certainly true of the agent who checks ID, scribbles nonsense, yet somehow passengers still get on planes without the requisite documentation.)

Like a programmed robot, I go through the motions of complying with the security regulations as I hear the agent say,for the tenth time, “Nothing in your pockets. Make sure you have absolutely nothing in your pockets.” In the body scanner, I put my hands up, fake a smile, and wait for the all clear. Then seconds tick by as I wait for my bag to make its way through the X-Ray machine.

The ugly gray bin arrives with my personal belongings as I do a quick inventory to make sure I don’t leave anything behind:

Watch? Check

Blackberry? Check

Android? Check

Camera? Check

Wallet? Check

Passport? Check

Boarding pass? Check

“Good job, not forgetting to take everything out of your pockets,” I tell myself.

Then I hear the inevitable inquiry, “Is this your bag?” followed by, “I’m going to have to search it.”

With no regard and no compliments as to how well I packed, how organized my bag is, the agent unzips this, removes that, till he finally comes to the item in question.

“I’m going to have to test this,” the TSA agent says.

“What is this?” the Emirates security agent questions.

“Open this!” the Turkish agent suspiciously demands.

Because it is a serious crime in 74 countries to grin during a security screening, I keep a straight face and oblige the agent. Moments later after it is scanned, examined, tested and then re-scanned, re-xamined, and re-tested, I’m given permission to be on my way.

Finally at the gate, I ask myself whether bringing it along is worth the hassle.

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Big or baby, the Jambox brings nothing but headaches

 

 

The Coalition of the Wary: The US ‘Allies’ Against ISIS

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Today CNN is lauding that the US is not going at it alone against the scum of the earth known as ISIS, ISIL, or whatever they want to call themselves. They have found allies in the most unexpected of places, the Middle East. These countries includes Bahrain, Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, Jordan and Qatar.

There are many reasons why this coalition is very interesting. To begin, historically countries in the Middle East have been reluctant to proactively side with Western actions within the borders of their neighboring countries. They may be in favor of regime change and use backdoor diplomatic channels to express such beliefs, but it is beyond rare to see them publicly support, let alone openly participate in such displeasure.

So why besides the obvious opposition to ISIS extremism are these historically neutral countries suddenly willing to take sides with the West? CNN political commentator Peter Beinhart’s calls it “a remarkable diplomatic achievement.” He commented, “I don’t think it was expected that there would be this much Arab support.”

Mildly put, he is being short-sighted. While I agree with his statement that “Prominent religious leaders have said ISIS is not representative of Islam,” his conclusion that “now you have countries that are coming to the fore to attack it,” is naive.

Let’s examine what this coalition has in common: Every participating country is comprised of a rich ruling family that have warranted fears that their reign may soon be undone. Their participation has nothing to do with their views on religion and everything to do with money. Saudi Arabia, the largest economy in the Middle East, with the strictest social policies in the region could not afford to overlook the threat that an ISIS revolution could have not only on its economy but also with containing its suppressed people who are devoid of many human rights. Next, the UAE which has transformed itself from its lowly beginning in the pearling industry to an economic powerhouse is also at risk from ISIS momentum. The UAE has become an icon of evil to radical groups like ISIS that see its modernization as a sacrilegious aberration from the tenets of Islam. An ISIS state would also threaten Qatar whose wealth has skyrocketed while many questions remain as to whom the Qatari government pledge their allegiance. Countries like Bahrain which have withstood the progression of the Arab Spring by threat and use of violence could ill afford the instability within its own borders that an ISIS advancement would produce.

Which brings us to Syria, the country that receives the undeserved positive externality from outside military intervention. In 2011, President Obama stated that Bashir al-Assad must go. Three years ago it was unthinkable that the US and its allies could conduct air strikes within Syria without staunch opposition from the Assad regime. Today, it’s ostensibly welcomed because Assad’s biggest threat to power is no longer the Western world but ISIS.

Where does this all leave us? Not with the doe-eyed, optimistic outlook that Mr. Beinhart would lead us to believe, but with the harsh reality that rejoicing in the coalition of the self-serving today will inevitably turn into lamenting in the coalition of the undeserving tomorrow.

It is clear that ISIS must go but so must Assad and everyone else.

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Vegas Knockout: It’s Still a Westin

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(17) Westin vs (1) Caesars 

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name.

The Westin Las Vegas isn’t a Vegas super hotel. It doesn’t have a nightclub with an Ibiza guest DJ, it isn’t located right in the center of the strip, and there aren’t wild pool parties on the weekend (though the pool is open 24 hours).

So why would I stay at the Westin and why should any of you? The answer is because it is an SPG property that provides all the familiarities of home. With platinum SPG status you get free Wi-Fi (without having to pay the outrageous Resort Fee of $35+ charged by most Vegas hotels), 4PM late checkout (a lifesaver for a Vegas weekend), and the Westin heavenly bed. SPG Platinums can opt for free breakfast which in Vegas is a great late night snack. In addition, the service, the quality of the room, the amenities are on par with Westins worldwide. Finally, the room rate is reasonable all things considered.

But, as was the problem with Early’s Apartment, the Westin isn’t in the heart of the action as it is not located directly on the Strip (though it is only a block away). Still, the Westin is a great spot to start your stay in Vegas (if you are looking to relax before commencement of the festivities) and a great place to end your stay (if you are looking to decompress and detox before heading home).

In the end, it’s a Westin. That alone says enough.

ThePointsOfLife Travel Philosophy

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My goal in writing Trip Reports is to break away from the norm by dismissing those ignoramuses who say “Bro, you have to stay in a country for at least a month to really appreciate the culture,” and the misguided who love to tell me that my quick trips are nothing more than a contrived effort to inflate my country count list at the expense of experiencing nothing.

To both sects, I would like to share ThePointsOfLife Travel Philosophy:

Stay in a city no longer than 2 days.* 

Why? The day you arrive, you are too excited to rest because there is so much to explore. That momentum carries onto the evening when you proclaim, “I have to go out, it’s my first night here.” The next day, you can’t sleep in because you only have one day left to see everything. This makes you power through your hangover by heading to another UNESCO World Heritage site.

Understandably exhausted from burning the candle on both ends, you momentarily convince yourself that you deserve a break. Then something inside you screams, “It’s your last night here, you have to go out!” This forces you to tap into your energy reserves and abandon the sanctity of sleep.

The next day you encounter a new city, a new mission, a new gauntlet to run.

This sentiment is the foundation of my Trip Reports‘ mantra Guns and Butter which graphically illustrates the things you must see, the things you should see, and the things you could skip. For each city, I will clearly sketch out which is which.

*ThePointsOfLife encourages you to vacation responsibly. The 2 Day Philosophy is more of an ideology than a hard and fast rule. In reality, 3-4 days per city is ideal when factoring in the desire to relax, but not a day longer.

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Europe in a sentence: A castle, a river, and a bridge; surely there must be more! (Bratislava Castle in Slovakia)

 

 

Vegas Knockout: A Recap of Week 2

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Another week of the Knockout Bracket is in the books and finally we are getting to the real match ups. Still, the second weekend wasn’t without some thrills.

Who can forget my time with Coolio at the Trump Hotel? Or the dog’s gambling issue at Early’s Apartment? What about free drinks and a hot bath at the Centurion Lounge? Yes, I know the Signature review was boring but they can’t all be winners, can they?

Anyhow, here’s the bracket as it stands headed into week 3, a week that will reveal more sin and less snooze.

Week 2

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The real fun starts in week 3

 

 

Vegas Knockout: Courtyard by MGM Signature

(17) The Westin vs (16) The Signature at MGM Grand 

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I’ve stayed at the Skylofts and the Signature at MGM Grand but never the MGM Grand itself. The MGM Grand is one of the largest hotels in the world so its no wonder there are multiple properties located within this hotel.

The Signature is three prominent towers to the rear of the main hotel that serve both as a resort and as an apartment condominium for business professionals. Both the Westin and the Signature are located off the strip but, for me, it feels like the Signature is more isolated even though it is directly connected to the MGM Grand via a never ending moving walkway.

When I stayed at the Signature, I had a two bedroom balcony suite with more than enough space for a whole bachelor party to crash and a balcony that was stupidly big. As had been the case with all hotels in the Knockout Bracket, the quality of the room may make a Vegas hotel good but it doesn’t automatically make it great.

Instead, my bracket relies on a totality of the circumstances test to determine whether a hotel should move on:

1. The Location: Why didn’t I stay at the MGM Grand proper?

2. The Fun: Why didn’t I stay at the MGM Grand proper?

3. The Sportsbook: Id. 

4. The Luxury: The rooms are typical luxury that you would find in any overbuilt condo community: granite counters, marble floors, whirlpool bathtub etc. Snooze.

5. The Value: For the size of the room, the value is great especially if you are bringing all your buddies with you for a special occasion.

6. The Food: Id at 2. 

Overall, the Signature at MGM Grand is nothing more than a glorified Courtyard by Marriott that happens to be located in the backdrop of the MGM Grand. The hotel was not built to service people like myself but for those who want to be an arm’s length away from the mega MGM resort while getting away from the riff raff of Vegas.

If the lack of pizzazz of this post had you dozing off then the Signature is also not right for you. If you were intrigued by the post, then I thank you for paying attention.

But now it’s time to say goodbye, to Signature and all its friends.

True Detective: The Case of the Stolen iPhone: The Debrief

iPhone recovered, bounty paid, Trent and Alvin have moved on with their lives. Apart from the entertainment value provided by this installment of the True Detective series, there are serious travel lessons to be learned from Trent’s misadventure.

1. Points Advice: In Act I, Alvin questioned why Trent didn’t use his Club Carlson points to stay for free at a legitimate hotel. Trent opted to split the cost of a cheap motel with his wookiee friends and almost ended up paying the price for it. Alternatively, he could’ve had his own upscale, private room with accountable security.

2. Insurance Advice:

A) Travel insurance: I’ve never paid for travel insurance because I’m short-sighted when I try to save money. Luckily, I’ve yet to be robbed abroad (apart from taxis), suffer any medical emergency, or encounter any event which would make having such insurance useful. For those that aren’t as ignorant or are less risk loving, I highly recommend paying the nominal premium to cover your ass[ets] while traveling, especially abroad.

B) Phone Insurance: Everyone hates paying their cellphone bill because the prices aren’t competitive in comparison to overseas markets. Add in the cost of monthly insurance if your phone is lost, stolen, or broken along with the deductible of $200+ of filing a claim and it is no wonder that so many people chose to forego this add on.

That all changes the second bad luck comes knocking and you find yourself on the phone with Verizon pleading that you had purchased the insurance and the morons at the store didn’t add it to your plan.

C) Renter’s Insurance: This is the best and most overlooked insurance premium that everyone should have whether they travel or not. Depending on the state you reside in and the amount you are insuring, you can get comprehensive coverage for pretty cheap to cover your personal belongings in the event someone robs your Lake Angelus apartment. On top of that protection, there is also an electronics premium that interestingly covers electronics stolen even when you are not at home e.g., Trent’s iPhone.

3. Friend Advice: Choose wisely when you travel with friends, especially for prolonged periods outside of the country. Trent’s friends were oblivious to the fact that someone had surreptitiously entered their room with the intent to commit a robbery. If they weren’t the biggest of wookiees, I would have presumed they were in on the heist.

Figuring out who is a good travel companion can be tough. The simplest way to find out who is a worthy travel companion is to spend a weekend with him or her in Las Vegas. The pandemonium of a Vegas weekend quickly reveals who is resilient enough to handle any situation and who is trustworthy enough to keep it in the locker room. Friends are either made in Vegas or lost forever. This is a necessary screening that must be completed before a big trip.

Conclusion 

I hope you enjoyed and learned from the funny story of Trent and Alvin. Tune in next time for more misadventures.

And remember…

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Don’t take rides or trips with wookiees