Puerto Rico Turkey Run is part of the TPOL Moves to PR Trip Report.
This Thanksgiving, I had plenty to be thankful for. First, I would like to thank Puerto Rico for this tax shelter. Next, I would like to thank Michigan for beating Ohio State. Finally, I would like to thank my gazelle speed for delivering me an unexpected victory in yesterday’s Puerto Rico Turkey Run. Here’s how it went down:
I haven’t run a race since the disappointing Athens Marathon. After finishing in over 5 versus the sub 4 hours I ran in Alaska, I concluded that there were better ways to spend my time than running 26.2 miles (see Golf Course Reviews). Three years later, I was coaxed into running a ‘fun’ 5k for Thanksgiving. For some reason, people believe that associating a holiday with a run or adding Rock & Roll to the name of a race transforms running from a gruesome ordeal to an enjoyable event. I do not. I also was not looking forward to the 6AM start time.
In the spirit of holiday, I woke up bright and early, ready to ‘trot’. Prior to the race, there were people laughing and dancing. I must be the curmudgeon that everyone says I am, because I didn’t find any reason to smile this early in the morning. Normally, I would still be in bed tending to my wounds after going out for the biggest lamest bar night of the year. Instead, there I was, dressed in a fashionable orange turkey shirt, ready to reclaim my running swagger.
The race began and I settled into a good pace. Mile one was very easy as was mile two. At mile three, I started fumbling with my music which threw off the pace a little. With the finish line quickly approaching, I decided that I was going to turn on the jets and go full speed. Sprinting as fast as I could, I was just about to cross when I noticed someone out of the corner of my eye trying to make a literal last second push. Damned before I gave this person the satisfaction, I vaulted myself across the line, hoping for victory via photo finish.
Later in the day, the results were posted. Please see the times for #60 and #61.
Curious as to who #61 was, I decided to do some light internet investigation. When I found out he was on Twitter, I could not resist a lighthearted tweet. 
So far, no response.
Crass or clever? You tell me.
Amazing feat after that bucket of grease. I assume you won my bucket of cash to support FCQ’s fancy lifestyle?
Yes, come pick it up.
I’m gonna go with crass. You’re better than that.
Come on, it’s funny. If someone did it to me, I’d say well played. Nobody jokes anymore.