Shaqtin’ a Fool: How I Almost Drown in Roatan

I’ve done my fair share of daredevil activities (see Wild One). I don’t consider snorkeling to be one of them. It was this dismissal that could have cost me my life.

Monday: No Go

It was a rainy Monday in Roatan. The sea was angry that day, my friends – like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. I dared not go in the water. Not only was it dangerous, but without the sun shining through, killing the snorkeling experience.

Tuesday: The Sun Came Out

Excited that the sun had come out, I was ready to snorkel and document my adventure for my YouTube channel. On the beach, I asked the hotel worker where the fish were to be found. He said past the white buoy by the boats. I went to the activity center and signed out goggles and flippers (Note: there is no charge for rentals because you are extorted $69 for a resort fee at the Kimpton Roatan).

Backstory

I bought an Osmo Action 5 after going to Oman and realizing that the Pocket 3 was not durable for the via ferrata (see This Is Living) and not waterproof for the wadi (see Wadi’ing Around Oman). The problem with the Action is that it requires a specific accessory depending on the sport. For Puerto Rico, I bought the body cam, the neck cam, some clamp thing, and some sticky thing. The day before I left, I realized that I did not have the one accessory I needed: a buoy with a handle and strap.

I told my YouTube producer that I did not feel comfortable swimming without the strap and would use the neck cam as a workaround. He said that would result in crappy footage. Fortunately, for me, Ms. TPOL used the strap meant for my Pocket 3 as a solution. It worked fine, but I was still nervous that there was no buoy.

In the Water

Off I went in the water, recording fishes from all swims of life. I was paddling with my right hand and recording with my left. Focused on the fish, I did not realize that I was going in the wrong direction until I came up for air. Somehow, I had turned myself around and was heading back to the shore. Recalibrated, I swam out further towards the buoy. I took more footage and was ready to go back. This time when I came up, I realized that I was further out than I wanted to be. And that’s when it hit me that I did not have a life jacket. Paddling with one hand, going back and forth in the water, trying to capture the fish had caught up to me. I was exhausted. Couple this with the realization that I did not have a safety net and I became a little worried. With no energy, I thought there was no way I could swim back to shore. That prompted a cascade of negative thoughts. “Well, if you can’t swim back to shore then you will drown.” Then I thought, “Imagine if you drown snorkeling. Imagine those jokes.” That was followed by: “Imagine you drown while trying to watch YouTube. Imagine those jokes.”

Taken back to my days learning to swim at the YMCA, I switched from paddling to treading water on my back. Slightly more assured that I wouldn’t become a drowning laughing stock, I told myself that I would hang out like this until I was physically ready to go. Sensing that moment would not come, I returned to treading water and scoped out my options. The best way is to swim to a group of boats nearby, hoping they would take pity on this fool. Luckily, I was welcomed on board and told to take my time and rest.

My plan was to gather my strength and have them drop me off at the original buoy and swim from there. However, the longer I sat on the boat, the further we drifted from the shore.

Fate intervened. Suddenly, my goggles snapped off my head and the snorkel kit fell into the water. “Oh no!” I exclaimed, the resort fee won’t cover this! Because of my quick thinking, I saved the goggles like I saved myself from going under.

I informed the captain of my new situation. He graciously took me to a dock and dropped me off at the nearest dock.

From there, I safely walked back to the hotel.

When I returned to the hotel, I told the worker what happened. He replied, “My bad, I forgot to tell you to take a life vest!”

In his defense, I didn’t think about a life vest, not because I fancy myself a strong swimmer. I didn’t think to bring one because I was caught up in the sun being out and fixated on capturing footage. That was stupid. Having swum with humpback whales in Tonga with no life vest, in freezing waters, with waves crashing, where tourists have been ‘lost’, you would think that I would be more cautious.

This video is funny in retrospect:

The Kicker

On top of qualifying for Shaqtin’ a Fool for being a reckless dummy, I have more embarrassment to share. The footage was not that good. On top of that, it was not captured in 4k: 16:9 as the producer had requested. I had the mode on 4:3, which is not widescreen.

Overall

No more videos snorkeling for me. I’ll save that for the professionals at the Discovery Channel.