Travel Guide - ThePointsOfLife

30 Days to Maldives: Step 3

thepointsoflife

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March 31, 2014

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You’ll find out your biggest problem is not bringing in the stuff…but what to do with all the fucking cash!

-Frank Lopez- Scarface

An excerpt from Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong demonstrates how this will become your points problem:

How do you earn these points? The idea is simple and legal. You can earn points in a number of ways including flying to the four corners of the globe to gain preferred airline status, staying in a ton of hotel rooms to qualify for free suite upgrades, or, by buying one too many [Michigan] teddy bears during a 1-800-FLOWERS Valentine’s Day points promotion.

If that is not economically viable, consider racking up millions of points from the comforts of being ‘in couch’.

All you need is the following:

– A dial-up internet connection

– An excellent credit score

Then:

– Apply for an award credit card once a quarter.

– Meet the minimum spend requirement for that card.

– Patiently wait for the points to accumulate.

It’s that simple.

Before you get all the points in the world appreciate that Step 3 is a preemptive measure whereby you make a commitment to not hoard your points. This is known as Churn ‘n’ Burn. Looking at your points in a pretty Excel document that you have spent too much time at work creating is worthless when all of a sudden it costs twice as much to go somewhere than it would have had you not been so emotionally attached to your points.

I too used to have this problem and would spend all my time looking at my snazzy collection of points. See Exhibit below:

Then this year United devalued its points requiring 42,500 more points to travel on a foreign carrier from Europe to the US! With this wake up call, I decided to burn all my United miles and booked two flights from Germany to Los Angeles all in first-class for 67,500 miles and $145.20/ticket.

dezeen_Lufthansa-Business-Class-Seat-and-Cabin-by-PearsonLloyd-8 — Lie flat seat

Had I waited here’s what it would cost today post-devaluation!

I can’t emphasize enough how useless it is to have a stockpile of points that you never use, that will go down in value, all the while you are paying annual fees for credit cards for no reason.

I have a friend that followed all the subsequent steps but has done nothing with his points.

Therefore, in order to move onto Step 4 you must promise from the outset to not be a points hoarder.

By clicking on Step 4, you are agreeing to adhere to the Churn ‘n’ Burn philosophy.

Now let’s get to the good stuff:

#10: Red Light Pho: Amsterdam, Netherlands

thepointsoflife

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March 31, 2014

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Right next to the organic coffee shops that line the streets and only steps away from the welcoming women of the skinny alley of the Red Light District is Amsterdam’s Chinatown. Fresh Peking Duck is on display in all the windows tempting the Pho seeker to give up his quest of finding that perfect bowl by settling for an enticing substitute.

Having made it past all the bland döner kebap shops that are an absolute waste of money and all the aforementioned distractions along the way, I find the only Vietnamese restaurant in the area. Mind you, I have been to Amsterdam many times but always neglect to take note of two things: 1) the restaurant is only open for dinner 2) where exactly the restaurant is located. I guess writing down the name would help.

Regardless, half the fun of visiting the Red Light District is navigating through landmarks that aren’t really landmarks:

“Oh I think you go over two bridges down one alley then past the first coffee shop next to the girl in the window and it should be on your left hand side. If you’ve gone past three churches, you’ve gone too far.” In this case, I believe to get to the Vietnamese restaurant you go left down the first street of Chinatown and it should be on your right hand side after the awful sushi spot.

When you do finally find the Pho restaurant take note, if you are on a stopover to another city that you still have to weave your way back through the maze, out of the District, across the street to the train station, and back to the airport, all the while trying to keep a straight face when answering questions from the customs agent regarding the overindulgence you just experienced.

As far as the pho is concerned, I worked up such an appetite trying to find the place that I really didn’t’ spend too much time savoring each spoon. Instead, I proceeded to scarf down the bowl to quell my suddenly insatiable appetite.

From what I do remember, the pho was quite good.

Because of the great adventure, Amsterdam Pho comes in at #10.

I am not drinking fucking Merlot!

Food & Drink

thepointsoflife

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March 29, 2014

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20131211_210123 — Yarra Valley: Melbourne, Australia

“If anyone orders Merlot I am leaving. I am not drinking fucking Merlot!” One quote from a movie and I never drank Merlot again.

Sideways came out in 2004 and 10 years later my wine aptitude has increased marginally yet I still do not know why I too hate Merlot. My palate has come a long way since my college days when I used to bong MD 20/20 (kiwi strawberry) but at present, I am not, nor do I want to become, a smug wine connoisseur.

However, somewhere between Miles’ expertise “A little citrus. Maybe some strawberry. Mmm. Passion fruit, mmm, and, oh, there’s just like the faintest soupçon of like, uh, asparagus, and, there’s a, just a flutter of, like a, like a nutty Edam cheese” and Jack’s ignorance, “Tastes pretty good to me,” is me.

Momentary pause to state that the similarities between Miles, the aspiring writer and alcoholic and myself are purely coincidental.

Since last August when I went to my first winery in Napa for a friend’s wedding, I have visited wineries from around the globe to drink and learn more about wine in order to give you a substantiated reason as to why you should never drink White Zin.

International travel will teach you more about business, politics, and law than all the degrees combined.

Points

thepointsoflife

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March 28, 2014

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If you want adventure, realize that there is a world outside your own borders. Watching NatGeo and watching the Travel Channel will not satisfy your craving for exploration.

HD television isn’t real life!

So take the points you learned from Points 101 and go to the airport.

In this section, I will show that it is possible to travel and have fun while enriching your life by seeing wonders of the world. Here are two of the New 7 Wonders of Nature that I have been lucky enough to visit.

DSCN0032 — Table Mountain from the Waterfront

IMGA0706 — Table Mountain post barefoot hike and World Cup Stadium down below

Step 1: Enjoy #ThePointsOfLife

thepointsoflife

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March 28, 2014

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Step 1: Enjoy #ThePointsOfLife

You are sitting in your cubicle entranced by the Windows 98 stereogram of a lush palm tree in the foreground and sparkling blue water in the background. Hypnotized, you find yourself on the beach, mesmerized by the sight of the waves crashing, the sound of the seagulls chirping, and the warmth of the sun shining, all the while sipping a beer from the isolation of your beach chair.

“Excuse me, Excuse me”, the waiter says. Catatonic, you ignore her calls.

“Hey!” the waiter screams. Jarred from serenity, you come out of your coma to find yourself back in the office under the frosty glow of the fluorescent bulbs. Your boss is standing over you, arms crossed, glaring at you with dissatisfaction.

“I need to get out of here now,” you declare- hopefully not aloud.

Although the slogan for the iconic cerveza ad commands you to find your Eden, it falls short of telling us how to do so. We are left to figure it out on our own.

Where shall we go this time, Maui, Hawaii or maybe somewhere exotic like Playa Del Carmen, Mexico?

Cramming ourselves into coach for hours on end only to arrive at a hotel room with a view of the parking lot falls short of the peaceful getaway depicted in the advertisement. Instead, the best way of tricking ourselves into believing this is a luxury vacation is to opt for the confining all-inclusive package (because eating out every day gets expensive) then complain to the front desk about the drunk spring-breakers, in the hopes we receive an ocean-view upgrade (FYI: This works). Alternatively, we could have stayed at a 5-star resort had we chanced it by going during the discounted rainy season. Even with such meager accommodations, the trip would still set us back a few thousand dollars plus the cost of all those Long Island yard drinks from Señor Frog’s and catchy souvenir shot glasses that read, “one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.” The latter, for me, are pesos well spent.

Before you call me a jerk, let me state the following: I know that people work hard all year for the opportunity to post that filtered beach pic on Instagram. I am not trivializing their efforts but will show you a better way. This step will empower you to start Taking Control Of Your Vacation now.

TPOL’s TIP: Buy the book here.

Final 4 Free

thepointsoflife

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March 27, 2014

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Traveling for sporting events is one of the best reasons to travel. However, when your Detroit Lions make the Superbowl and it isn’t held in Detroit (horrible idea to have it in a cold weather city) you will find yourself scrambling for airline tickets that costs hundreds upon hundreds of dollars.

So what will you do, miss your once in a lifetime chance to see your beloved Wolverines make the Final Four?

Surely not.

Last year, Michigan came out of nowhere lead by College Player of the Year Trey Burke to make it to the Final Four in Atlanta. After putting the beat down on the Syracuse Orange, Michigan faced Rick Pitino’s Louisville Cardinals for the championship.

Only you weren’t there to see it. Don’t end up in a road side ditch, switch to DirectTv.

Sorry, just seeing if you were reading. I looked for tickets and found a roundtrip for $800. I checked Southwest and found those prices to be crazy high as well.

Out of options, I was about to give up when I realized that I had a stash of British Avios that can be redeemed on American Airlines for next to nothing with no extra fees for last minute booking.

My ticket ended up being a manageable $5 for 2 of the legs and I came out of pocket for the others. All in all it cost $150 to get to Atlanta.

So this year, if your team is playing (meaning you are from Michigan as it will be a Umich v. MSU final) and your points are right, you too can watch Michigan redeem itself to become national champions!

Otherwise, I hope you have Comcast cable as your dish will probably not get reception in that subfrozen tundra known as the Great Lakes State.

“Maybe you’ll get a ‘real job’ one day so that you don’t have to travel with points.”

thepointsoflife

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March 27, 2014

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My book shows how easy it is to travel even if you are not affluent. Even though I have tried to teach family and friends about my points hobby, it has not been warmly received by all.

Here is another excerpt from my book Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong . . . Including Mine describing what may happen to you should you also engage in this points hobby:

It’s not all smooth sailing when it comes to traveling, even if by plane. Jet-setting will expose you to your fair share of haters. This is especially true if you Tweet your every move while trotting the globe (Be sure to follow @ThePointsOfLife for the latest updates.) Additionally, those same skeptics will minimize your travel accomplishments equating the use of points to the use of performance enhancing drugs. For the record, I have never doped.

Following another post showcasing my travels, a former Facebook friend of mine (#SpiteErased) commented, “Maybe you’ll get a ‘real job’ one day so that you don’t have to travel with points.”

His comment is significant for two reasons:

On the one hand, these words are misguided because they fail to take into account the reason you accumulate points in the first place- to break the monotony of Cubicle-ism. Partaking in a travel adventure to some remote locale creates a sharp contrast between your daily life at home and valiant explorations abroad. Travelling opens your eyes to new possibilities, bolstering your drive to succeed. Such radical departures from the norm are out of the question given typical budget constraints. The liberation from, not assimilation to, your regimented routine, i.e., the ‘real job’, is the reason you take that trip today. Do not wait for all the pieces to come together perfectly before starting your life.

IMG00187-20120418-1047 — When coffee doesn’t work

Versus

Brasil (594) — Buggies in Buzios, Brazil

On the other hand, the words ring true. Living a life of temporary opulence does not mean you have been granted full-time access to the first-class lounge of life. Although you will be able to fly around the world for virtually nothing by using points, wouldn’t you rather charter your own Gulfstream G650? Similarly, you will be able to stay at an amazing 7-star resort for free, but wouldn’t you rather rent your own mansion style villa? #Points is merely the appetizer of the mouth-watering entrée that awaits you if you stay hungry. Do not overlook this is only Step 1 out of 10.

Well maybe the 7 star hotel is not that bad compared to my dorm in the infamous Red Light District in Amsterdam:

But you get the point . . .

30 Days To Maldives: Step 2

thepointsoflife

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March 26, 2014

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So what’s your credit score and what does it mean?

Hopefully it corresponds with the JAL airline type I took from San Diego to Tokyo using points.

As a rule of thumb a credit score of 730 from all 3 bureaus is needed before you begin the points game. If you are short of this threshold then I would focus on reviewing my credit reports to find out why your credit scores are low. Do you have derogatory marks e.g., accounts in collections, late payments etc? Is your debt to credit limit very high. I already discussed in Step 1 that those who have credit card debt should also not enter the arena of points. If not then the Dreamliner of flying around the world for pennies on the dollar is well within your grasp.

What is a FICO score? Honestly, nobody really knows. It is a mythical number that somehow tells lenders if you are credit worthy. Here is the actual breakdown of how it is determined, sorry if it bores you.

Basically, if you do not have derogatory marks, and you do not have a lot of debt you should have a high credit score. (A more technical explanation can be found by going to the FICO website.) I say should because a recent 60 Minutes story revealed that millions of Americans have errors on their credit reports and that some lending agencies use different metrics to gauge your creditworthiness beyond your personal FICO score.

Assuming you have cleared all hurdles up to this point regarding your credit score, there is one more question I must ask before you find yourself staying at the top floor of the Conrad Tokyo.

Are you planning on buying a house within the next two years?

If the answer is maybe, then count yourself out of the points game yet again. Having a few points to go travelling is not worth a higher interest rate on a mortgage. Let’s try to keep things in perspective. The reason, per the graph above, inquiries on your credit report lower your credit score. It tells lenders that you are borrowing and increases your rate of default. Inquiries last on your credit report for two years so those looking to buy a house should have as few inquiries as possible (unless you are buying that house for straight cash!)

So who’s left standing? Those of you who are and be honest with yourself because I will not be held responsible for your irresponsibility can enter the fun world of churning points.

30 Days to Maldives: Step 1

thepointsoflife

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March 26, 2014

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Friends ask me all the time how I travel everywhere for next to nothing. After reading ThePointsOfLife Infomercial you should know the answer is points.

But before you run off and apply for twenty credit cards and lie about your income and number of businesses you own, let’s take a step back and ask the question “Is that your car?” If you answered yes, then you probably have terrible credit and the points game isn’t for you.

If you are like everyone else, then your credit score is somewhere between someone who owns that beautiful white pearl taken in Bucharest, Romania and a fortunate Bentley driver (who should still travel on points to save for the cost of gas.)

“I think my credit is good,” also is not an acceptable answer. The only way to know is to check. If you want to participate in the points game, then start off by going to the Annual Credit Report website which is the only one that is free and provided by the U.S. government.

Figure out what your credit is from all 3 Bureaus: Experian, Equifax, and Transunion. Note that Equifax may not make your credit report available to you online so you may have to request it in writing. That is normal and shouldn’t be skipped. You may have to pay $8 per credit score but this is well worth the cost and you won’t ever have to pay for it again.

Simultaneously, before you can leave here:

To go here:

You need to have zero credit card debt. If you are paying interest, then you are already losing the points game.

So check your credit scores and check your bank accounts and then we can move on one step at a time.

Any questions?

ThePointsOfLife Infomercial

Points 101

thepointsoflife

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March 26, 2014

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An excerpt from my book Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong . . . Including Mine:

“The following is a paid advertisement for Enjoy #ThePointsOfLife. It does not represent the views or opinions of your friends and family.”

Cue tropical island music.

How would you like to do the following?

First, you will be picked up from your home in a specially-commissioned Mercedes-Benz by a personal chauffer who will escort you to the private first-class entrance of the airport. Next, you will enjoy upscale dining (enough free peanuts to make up for all those fees you were paying while flying coach) and premium cocktails in a trendy lounge with free Wi-Fi. (Everyone loves free Wi-Fi.) The lounge also includes a spa, sleeping area, and business center to finalize any last minute international deals, i.e., email all your friends images of the lounge for spite.

Mind you, all of this is yours before boarding the plane.

Once on-board, you will travel comfortably throughout your overseas journey wearing cozy pajamas, resting in a seat that lies fully flat. A five course meal with unlimited Dom Pérignon (or Jack Daniels) along with an endless supply of entertainment on your personal 23” LED will have you wishing the flight would last a bit longer. Before landing, do not forget to schedule a hot shower at 30,000 feet and freshen up with the provided designer brand amenities kit. For your convenience, the shower has a maximum capacity of two.

Upon landing, you will again be escorted via an executive car service to the domestic terminal. From there, you will take a private seaplane to a paradise resort right in the heart of the ocean. At check-in, you will be offered more champagne (so make sure you bring your Ibuprofen), receive a complimentary upgrade for a bungalow directly over the tropical, crystal-clear blue water, and be pampered day and night by staff eager to fill all of your wishes and desires (within the confines of the law).

After a week of over-relaxation, you will depart the island but can look forward to enjoying the privileges and amenities of a first-class journey home. You may choose to skip the shower the second time around as the novelty of telling the story is greater than the experience itself.

a hot tub on a deck overlooking a body of water — Friends ask me all the time how I travel everywhere for next to nothing. After reading ThePointsOfLife Infomercial you should know the answer is points.

a restaurant under the water — “The following is a paid advertisement for Enjoy #ThePointsOfLife. It does not represent the views or opinions of your friends and family.”

All this can be yours if the points are right. Yes, points, not price.

The actual price of this showcase showdown is . . .

Roundtrip, the flight is $15,000 per person and the room is $2,500 a night, mini-bar tab excluded. Let’s ignore how much food, drinks, excursions, and spa treatments cost, not to mention the funds needed to purchase the “I ate the worm” souvenir t-shirt. So basically it’s a billion dollars to go on this trip. Since I haven’t fully recovered from the triple bogey from Hole 8, the price is slightly out of my budget . . .

The points are not.