Tahiti

There are worse things in life than flying coach. At the moment, I can't think of any of them. I did everything I could to get United, Air New Zealand, and the island nation of French Polynesia to upgrade my ticket from coach to business for the AKL-PPT-AKL legs.

Planters peanuts, shrimp cup noodles, Diet Coke, regular Coke, Bloody Mary's, sandwiches, Jack n Diet, and anything else is a reason to write a sentence in the passive voice. Although there was no beef jerky,...

‎There's a celebration at the Hilton Moorea going on right now. It is to mark the end of TPOL's reign of terror on the resort. It's no coincidence that today is one of the...

From Tahiti to Bora Bora to Moorea, TPOL has made his way around French Polynesia. With nothing but French television and CNN International to entertain me (or $10 for a DVD rental), I decided...

‎TPOL is high up in a plane en route to Moorea. My quick assessment of Bora Bora is a function of the sun. If the sun is out, then the views are spectacular, the...

After the beef jerky got old, after my limbs went numb, I realized I was in need of sustenance so I caved and splurged for the $20 breakfast buffet. Curiously, the price went up to...

‎Do you know who I am! It almost slipped out when I checked into the InterContinental Bora Bora Le Moana and was told in no uncertain terms that there would be no upgrade, no...

Plastic bags aren't carry-ons. ‎ "Please take some of the stuff out of your back pack and put it in your checked luggage." Air Tahiti has a strict AirAsia style rule when it comes to luggage:...

‎What do I do now? There are no more visa issues. There aren't any more arguments to be made about business class upgrades. All I see is a bungalow and water. Welcome to a paradise...

So I'm in coach from AKL to PPT. I tried everything upon arriving in AKL to have my voluntary downgrade to economy changed to business. I tried two times at the Air New Zealand...