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Saturday, July 13, 2024
HomeTrip Directory#NoCollusion, No Albania for TPOLGuns & Butter: Warsaw Travel Guide

Guns & Butter: Warsaw Travel Guide

The Warsaw Travel Guide is part of the #NoCollusion, No Albania for TPOL where I break my 100 country count mark. See the World Map for where I’ve been.

TPOL’s Guns & Butter Travel Guide is the best way to see as much as you can in as little time as possible. Here’s how it works – A trip is composed of two factors: Labor And Lazy. The opportunity cost (what is given up) for relaxing and being Lazy is gained by being adventurous in the form of Labor and vice versa. The guide includes inefficient activities i.e., tourist traps that should be avoided and aspirational activities that are worth doing but may be impossible to see given the constraints of time and resources.

People travel for different reasons. Michael W Travels to UNESCO sites. Boring people go to museums. TPOL’s travels to eat and drink. Which is best? The answer is all of the above. For me, being immersed in local culture means sampling the cuisine, throwing back a few pints, and seeing where the adventure takes me. In between beer #1 and entree #4, I also try to see the sights. After all, a disco looks the same anywhere in the world, especially with impaired vision. In Warsaw, that was no different. Here is what I recommend doing, skipping, and attempting if you have the time.



Without food, you will die. Without good food, you might as well not be alive. I sampled Polish food on my way to the Old Town and at an excellent restaurant near the Westin.

a plate of food on a table
Dumplings, beer, and lemonade.

(See Old Town Warsaw in Pictures.)

a plate of food on a table
Pork Knuckle in Poland

(See Folk Gospoda Warsaw: A Must Must Eat in Warsaw.)


Sober is not the way for me. A Justice once said, “I like beer.” I agree.

a group of balloons in a city
There is no shortage of bars in and around Old Town.


Westin or Sheraton? Both were good. Although I give the nod to Westin, I thank Sheraton for providing me refuge after my Tel Aviv ordeal.

a man holding a backpack
Flying while Arab is frowned upon in Tel Aviv.
a room with a couch and a tv
The suite at the Sheraton.
a view of a city from a window
The view from the Westin.



Like I said, without good food, you might as well not be alive. Skip eating pho here. a bowl of soup with chopsticks on a table

(See Mama Pho Warsaw? More Like Mama Huhu.)


I’m a creature of the night. However, I do not support sex tourism. The Pub Crawl shouldn’t be missed but the last stop should be skipped. a glass of beer on a coaster

(See Pub Crawl Warsaw: An Excuse to Promote Sex Tourism?)


Some of the pub crawlers stayed at hostels. It’s bad enough I’m going on a pub crawl at my old age, but I think I’m too much of a curmudgeon to stay at a hostel.

Next Time

I could see myself spending a few weeks in Warsaw because it is a modern city. I still think I would skip the museums, but now that I’m back, I’m more interested in learning about the history of how this country transitioned from a Soviet Bloc country to what it is today.

a glass building with a yellow truck in front of a city street
Warsaw of today.


  1. “Boring people go to museums?” What a dumb thing to say. It doesn’t look like you did much of anything in Warsaw that wasn’t gustatory. Seeing the Warsaw Uprising Museum or the POLIN Museum would certainly have made your trip more interesting

  2. Have you been to Krakow? If so, how does it compare to Warsaw? I’m trying to plan an Eastern European trip for next year, and I’m exploring cities to visit from ZAG after that awesome sale last week.

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