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Vegas Knockout: The Centurion Lounge Toxicology Report
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True Detective: The Case of the Stolen iPhone [Act III]
We are in the final act of Trent’s iPhone saga. At our last juncture, Trent and Alvin were trying to decide if they should send a letter that would persuade the apparent thief to return Trent his iPhone. Before that decision could be made, Alvin had another breakthrough idea.
Alvin: whats the hotel phone #
Trent: Shit
Alvin: nm i got it
Trent: k
A few moments pass while Alvin is on the phone with the hotel.
Alvin: got his name. Jonnie [redacted]
Trent: lol no way
Alvin: he’s a day employee there
Trent: ahahaha
Alvin: the night manager is a moron
Trent: And he lives at that address??
Alvin: told him that a guy with that address lost his wallet. and i got it
Trent: ahahahahaha
Alvin: and want to return it to him. i gave him my phone #. we are getting closer
Trent: Should I turn the lock screen on the phone to say “Jonnie, I want my phone back”??
Alvin: now we have to be smart
Trent: what do we do now. What do we doooo! Ahhh, he doesn’t have fb. Unless that last name is spelled wrong
Alvin: the last name is spelled right, the first name is not, he says they just call him jonnie but it’s like judnat and he doesnt know how to spell it.
Trent: Motherf@!ker
Alvin: well we know he works there and we know he has your phone
Trent: It was that c*!@sucker that let me into the f@cking room!
Alvin: so tomorrow i call and tell the manager. tell them i have bad news about an employee. i dont want to get law enforcement involved. we don’t press charges or blow up yelp
Trent: i like the yelp angle
Alvin: just want the phone returned. do we give your name? i think jonnie is going to come kill you.
Trent: hmmm, my fb is locked up!
Alvin: add a phony name to your address. and we will have him send it there. simon bolivar?
Trent. yes. My name is fine tho. I don’t care
Alvin: yeah i think your name is fine too
Trent: cant wait for tomorrow! this is great
Alvin: hope u got that finder’s fee. i expect at least $100
Trent: I’ll give u a cut if phone comes back
Alvin: haha ok, go zzzz
Trent: jonnie, Oh Jonnie. He hasn’t turned it on since 9:27pm. I want my cable back too!! lol
October 24, 2013 8:53 am
Alvin: youre phone is in the mail on the way to your home!
Trent: How’d it go down??
Alvin: well, they claim it was found in the parking lot
Trent: It’s been at Jonnie’s house!!
Alvin: she confirmed hte case
Trent: why did Jonnie steal it?!?! And where is cable??
Alvin: he probably found it. and brought it home. then brought it back to work
Trent: lol Jonnie such a nice guy
Alvin: and i want my $
Trent: Yup. He turned it on last night! Had it all week. turned it off when i called
Alvin: poor Jonnie
Trent: hmmm
Alvin: well maybe i spooked him into turning it in
Trent: still don’t get why he took it home on Sunday night, turned it on, turned it off immediately, sat on it all week, turned it on last night, when I called he immediately turned it off, then brought it in this morning
Alvin: because i claled yesterday. and i bet u his boy was like they after u. and he was like oh shit i go turn it in
Trent: hows the manager know so quickly where jonnie stay. like he went into the file cabinet and pulled his info?? theyve been running this scam forever!
Alvin: whatever send me my reward
Trent: Dead phone my ass
Alvin: otherwise im coming to mi and smashing your phone. and then me and jonnie will go take shots
Trent: lol
Alvin: man u shouldve heard me talking. not making any sense. it was hilarious. because how could i say i had his wallet, and then ask where i should turn it in.
Trent: And it would’ve had his name and address lol.
Alvin: im like no i want to turn it in at his work
Trent: yeah and how to spell his name
Alvin: but i was mumbling, guy couldnt understand. “where does he work” the guy asked. i said he worked where i call u
Trent: lol
Alvin: and i got his wallet and i want to give it to him, but i wanna make sure his name matches up. and im not going to his house!
So there you have it folks! Trent did get his iPhone back thanks to the creativity of Alvin. Alvin did get his finder’s fee. And Jonnie, well who knows if Jonnnie was a saint or sinner. Tomorrow, we will cover the many mistakes that Trent made and how you can spare yourself the hassle of going through what he went through. Alternatively, I could give you Alvin’s contact info if you do get into this same situation.
Oh Jonnie!
Simply The Best: Six Months of Points Sexiness
Today is the 6 month anniversary I’ve been alive as ThePointsOfLife. To date, I have had 27,606 views which has to be more than auto-refresh. I continue to try to differentiate myself from every single blog, travel or otherwise, by producing fresh content.
Here are some highlights of the new additions:
In the Hotel Reviews section, I have set up a tourney where all the Vegas hotels I’ve stayed at fight to not get Knocked Out.
In the Pulse section, I write my own op-eds about current events. Check out my UK saving post on Scotland.
In the Trip Reports section, I use the economic framework of Guns And Butter to tell you what you absolutely must do when visiting a new place, a creative idea that breaks up the repetition of reading the same review of Angkor Wat.
In the Press section, I use my collection of espresso pictures from cities all over the world to provide a unique insight on local life.
In Travel Advice, I created an intense mini-series about recovering a stolen iPhone while traveling.
I still need to finish the Pho Sho: Top 10 Pho Worldwide and reveal more crazy details about my life as a lawyer doubling as a Taxi Driver all in an effort to sell copies of my book, Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong which is available on Kindle and paperback here.
6 months of sexiness are in the books! Can I get an encore, do you want more?
Vegas Knockout: Early’s Apartment for a Late Arrival
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True Detective: The Case of the Stolen iPhone [Act II]
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True Detective: The Case of the Stolen iPhone [Act I]
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Guns & Butter: A Better Way to Travel
The definition of economics is the allocation of scarce resources to satisfy unlimited wants. Despite a bachelors in economics from the University of Michigan, I still fight this principle by trying to do too much with very little. Luckily, points bridges the gap where my finances fall short allowing me to see a lot of the world for a lot less.
Money aside, the biggest constraint on travel besides dinero es tiempo. You can have all the money in the world but will always wish you had one more day to do one more thing. Nothing is worse than coming back from a trip and hearing, “Oh you didn’t visit…” then having to rationalize that Mount Fuji is covered with garbage anyway so missing the tour bus after a late night out was worth it.
I never purchase Lonely Planet guides not because they aren’t full of insight but because I’m not going to be able to do the 200 pages of what is written about inside. Furthermore, I’m not a fan of planning ahead so I rely on luck or word of mouth to point me in the right direction. Occasionally, I do turn to the New York Times’ 36 Hours series for help but, the idea of doing that much, that fast can lead to unnecessary anxiety.
So for all you lazy enthusiasts out there that enjoy reading travel guides but don’t want to wade through the minutia of a 16 part report of how I arrived at the airport, picked up my bags, detoured at the bathroom, waited to check into a hotel, and on and on, only to book an overpriced tour booked through the resort, these posts are for you. (For my points purists, please find the pictures of the hotel room toilet and welcome gift in the Hotel Reviews section.)
If you want to really know what you should do when you only have one night in Bangkok, worry not, ThePointsOfLife economist limits your choices to guns and butter.
Way back in economics 101, I learned the microeconomic theory of opportunity cost, the value of the best opportunity foregone between two mutually exclusive alternatives. The pedagogical way to teach this theory is by graphing the production of two wholly unrelated goods, the two famously being guns and butter. Using this model, a country has to choose between producing more guns at the expense of producing more butter and vice versa.
Vegas Knockout: My Fantastic Voyage at the Trump Hotel
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The Trouble with Single Malts: Why Scotland Should Stay in the UK
It’s the same song and dance as another country wants to break away from its parents to be independent with no clue what comes next if they do.
Have we not learned anything from the stupidity of countries like Greece joining the European Union? Greece thought joining the Eurozone would lead to prosperity as it would be seen as a respectable member of the European community. They fought hard to prove they belonged and finally gained admittance into the Union. What followed was the realization that abandoning the dhracma made their exports of olives uncompetitive, their beaches too expensive, and the cost of a gyro costing too many Euros. Now countries like Greece, Ireland, Spain, Cyprus, Italy, and Portugal are wondering what they really gained by becoming members.
First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes…
bailout and austerity.
Enter Scotland who is voting this week whether to remain part of Great Britain or try to make it on their own. This is the opposite situation of those countries mentioned above but will, in my opinion, have similar negative consequences.
First, banks like the Royal Bank of Scotland whose headquarters are in Scotland are already making contingency plans to leave Scotland if the referendum passes. Second, the producers of Scotch whiskey are feeling anxious that the intellectual property rights of this native drink will not be enforced due to a limited number of Scottish embassies in contrast to UK embassies worldwide. Next, there are serious questions as to what will happen if Scotland institutes its own currency that is not pegged to the British pound. All of this spells disaster for a country who appropriately wants its sovereignty recognized but has not done the calculus as to what happens if it is completely autonomous.
Investors will be appropriately weary of a country who rather abruptly decide to break free from one the most stable currencies in Europe, the British sterling, in favor of an unseasoned monetary authority. Access to affordable capital will be hard to come by spelling disaster should things not go well for this fledgling economy. And if things do go awry, who will Scotland turn to for help, the United Kingdom? One could only imagine the terms of that bailout.
If not, would they also considering joining the sinking ship of the EU? Hopefully not. We’ve all seen that movie before and it doesn’t have a happy ending.
So to all my 16 year old Scots who have inexplicably been given a vote to decide the fate of their country, I urge you to consider that you have not considered all that needs to be considered in making this historic choice.
That alone should convince you to vote no.
Cheers,
An avid whiskey drinker