My Bag Is Where?

In the last ten days I flew 26,000 miles from the US to the Middle East to Shanghai to Bali to Singapore and back. I flew on Shower Class on Emirates and Suite Class on Singapore Airlines all without incident. Then stateside my good fortune ran out. While boarding a prop plane from Seattle to Great Falls, Montana, I had to check my carry on because the overhead bins were not large enough. I arrived in Montana and heard the flight attendant announce that Alaska Airlines ‘Values your time and will award a $25 voucher or 2500 Alaska Miles if you have to wait more than 25 minutes to claim your bag.’ Exhausted from two days straight of travel, I went down to the baggage claim, where I proceeded to wait and wait and wait. The bag never showed up and I was told by an agent that it was accidentally sent to Helena, Montana- 85 miles away. Tweets @AlaskaAir were never returned and hours later, I finally got my carry on bag. Bags do get lost from time to time but I found it remarkable with all my layovers, stopovers, taxi rides, motorbike adventures, I never lost anything but on one of the smallest, shortest flights, my bag was diverted. The only thing left to do now is calculate the number of free miles Alaska owes me. Let’s see 25 minute delay=2500 miles so 4 hours delay equals…another free flight on Emirates? Maybe I all I do is complain.

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Stock photo from previous trip

It’s Thanksgiving…Without the Annoying Relatives

Singapore Airlines Suite Class really is the way to fly. You have your own room, your own endless flow of Krug Grande Cuvee champagne which I prefer much more to Dom Perignon, and way too much scrumptious food. I have found that true luxury and peace of mind comes in the combination of one letter and three numbers- a380. This was true of my Emirates Shower Class flight and of my present time in the air. The Internet is a ripoff at $15 for 15MB making me yearn for my days of flying SWA. The lacking element of this flight is the unavailability of the World Cup at 38,000 feet as was the case on the Singapore First Class 777 flight. Watching the Nigeria and Algeria game while enjoying luxuries that I do not deserve was worth the intrusion of not having my own suite. The dinners on both of these flights included lobster, caviar, rack of lamb- a bunch of photos I will upload at a later time when I do not have to worry about  bandwidth.  Capture In the end, I am overfed, tipsy, and tired. But, unlike holidays I don’t have to deal with family drama, whining children, and who will be the designated driver- I have a decorated captain to take care of that. Well it looks like I’ve burned through my data but I might as well pay a few dollars extras to finish this post then go to sleep till they serve Christmas breakfast. Happy Holidays          

Ephedrine? Young Lady? Happy Ending?

10454500_10103845541835231_4906012452624339969_o Motorbike boss? No thanks.  Ephedrine? Young lady? Happy ending? The following words have been used to describe Bali: san‎ctuary, oasis, retreat. Here is another: tragic. The picturesque seaside lined with posh resorts is the sleight of hand meant to cover up the ills of an island marred by drugs, sex trafficking, and an apathetic regard for humanity. That is not an exaggeration nor a dramatization of day-to-day life for so many of Bali’s inhabitants. At the same time, it is not a condemnation of the Balinese people who are overwhelmingly hospitable and kind. This isn’t ground breaking news of the reality in Bali, Phuket, Boracay, or any other pristine beach comm‎unity in Southeast Asia. Likewise, it isn’t a cautionary tale for struggling economies who bait tourists with cheap alcohol, affordable accommodations, and nonstop parties. The opportunity cost of that tradeoff is well documented. This is a critique of the rich and powerful who prostitute communities for the all mighty dollar. The solicitation of tourists by creating a safe haven for illicit activity is no different than the vices offered by that jack of all trades taxicab driver who is also the local drug dealer and pimp. The trickledown effect of a mercenary tourism strategy may, in gross, create wealth for the country, and may create jobs for working in the service industry, but the negative externalities create a net loss for the community as a whole. Emblematic of the epidemic that plagues tourist reliant countries is the street Poppies II, the pipeline that links the party street of Ku‎ta, to the peace of the ocean. There are the laborers who work tirelessly in the mini marts, tolerating the drunken tourists in order to earn a nominal wage. There are the vendors in the souvenir shops who bargain all day to sell all sorts of goods, real and fake, for next to nothing. ‎Then there are the motorbike drivers who without hesitation or embarrassment offer Cialis and Viagra to everyone and anyone. They are surrounded by honest and not so honest women who parrot the line “massage”. Yet even among all the filth, the locals still put out their daily offering to their Gods, a symbol of gratitude. So what has Bali become besides the perfect honeymoon destination? A haven for drug dealers who operate with ‎impunity, a den of drug addicts who wander the streets at all hours, and a prostitution ring of women whose ages are unverifiable. While the solution is not found in cynicism it is hard to be hopeful because everyone is to blame and nobody is willing to act. The government will continue to sell ocean front property to hotel chains‎, a mutually beneficial exchange that provides no incentive for either side to demand change. The tourists will still come to those resorts rationalizing that their dollars help not hurt the economy overall. The motorbike driver and massage madame will‎ continue to proposition, as they are not educated nor empowered to do anything else. And in the middle of it all, the Balinese people will continue to hope as it is not in their nature to complain.

I Am Delayed

I am writing this post from a small corner of the ANA Suite Lounge in Tokyo as I wait for my Singapore Airlines Suite Class flight to Los Angeles aboard an A380. I have many more hours to go before I am pampered by the best airline in the world. The flight here was on a 777 and I got to watch the World Cup while sipping on Dom Perignon with lobster for dinner. The full review and pics will come later. My flight home is not delayed, my upworthy title refers to my book, Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong . . . Including Mine that is once again with the editors who are finalizing the interior design. The process of writing a book, then editing and editing, was only half the battle. The rest was the cover design, interior design, and next up ‘marketing materials’. At this point, I’m done projecting a release date because it would be as arbitrary as the flight numbers on the departure board. We appreciate your patience. Please continue to hold and the next available agent will be with you momentarily. Off to sleep  I go. IMG_20140630_233440

Your Fee to Leave

You’re not free to leave because you have to pay the fee. Philippines, Costa Rica, and Bali, Indonesia all charge this nonsense departure tax that is supposed to support airport infrastructure or youth development programs or whatever catchy line the agent tells you the day you are departing. I don’t care that they are charging even if it is a sham and they are doing nothing but taxing rich tourists. That is fine with me. My issue is why it isn’t included within the air fare or charged as part of the visa on arrival (and departure) so that I’m not fumbling around for Rupiahs that I just haphazardly spent on 4 San Miguels before getting to the airport. Graciously, they do accept American dollars so I managed to get by Zacchaeus and board my plane to Singapore, an economical interlude aboard Air Asia before my suite class flight on Singapore Airlines. Keep churning my friends. IMG_20140630_161044

Round the World in One Direction

Today begins my journey back to the United States only to leave again in three weeks. I love using the Great Circle Mapper to show the routing from where and I went and how I am getting home as well as how many miles I have flown. While this was not as long as my round the world trip that started last December and resumes in the end of July that went for 50,000 miles, it is still impressive to fly 26,000 miles in ten days. SE Asia GCM

Champagne Saturdays

Ever think you are “getting too old for this shit?” Then you find yourself at Cocoon Beach Day Club in Bali with a bottle of champagne, fresh strawberries, and a glass full of no worries. Perhaps real world responsibilities are looming but somebody forgot to inform these partygoers of that reality. The sun champagne sanctuary immunized me and, from the looks of it, everyone else from giving a you know what about what comes Sunday, the day before Monday. In keeping with the spirit of the day, I’m cutting this blog post short and focusing my energy on maintaining the euphoria. IMG_20140628_143750

And the Award for Best Foreign Film Goes to . . .

IMG_20140627_115138 During down time on trips, I turn on the television and flip through the limited selection of channels hoping to come across anything in English. Our first night at the Bounty Hotel, the state of the art 12″ television didn’t even broadcast the damn World Cup. Even with an expanded selection of 30 channels at the Sheraton Kuta, there are only a few tolerable options apart from watching Richard Quest on CNN or the repetitive loop of BBC International. The law of supply and demand is in full effect in these situations when I convince myself that the movie that is playing is worth watching. However, without fail, every movie I have seen while on vacation is followed by the words, “That was the worst movie in the world.” This time around, I have more to add to the list. The first was at least funny but the second was indeed, the worst movie ever. Seriously, it was so bad that it is worth booking a trip somewhere and watching it yourself.

The Triple Play Parlay

As you all know by now, my book, Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong . . . Including Mineis set to be released in early July. Part II of the book is a step by step guide detailing how to leave the cubicle once and for all and take control of your life which I have shown should be more like vacation, e.g., live life on your own terms. Step 9 of the book is Execute the Triple Play Parlay and the underlying message is for the aspiring entrepreneur, against all odds, to go for it in spite of the naysayers. It further details how to complete each ‘out’ in succession in order to hit that grand payday parlay. As a faithful subscriber to my own scribe, I am inching ever closer to successfully completing this step with three major developments that I would like to share: 1. The publication of my book that took two years and countless hours to write and perfect. 2. The invitation to join the largest travel/points blog on the Internet with ThePointsOfLife set to go live as part of the curation in only a matter of weeks. 3. The boldest move to Mongolia with all the unforeseen hurdles that come with moving to a remote part of the world. In the meantime, I will just lounge in Bali and enjoy the calm before the curfew- Mongolian bars close at 11PM. IMG_20140625_153327      

Platinum Points Paradise

10321650_10103822661038531_4396467683309630203_o I managed to escape the plebeian accommodations of the Bounty Hotel and check into the Sheraton Kuta. I booked the hotel completely on points and in nerdy points fashion calculated that receiving a standard room would provide a value of over 3 cents for SPG point- a great deal indeed. Last year I managed with my SPG Amex personal and business along with stays all over the world to hit Platinum status. SPG Gold awards you with 4PM checkout, a god send for an aggressive traveler such as myself. Platinum ups the ante by providing a suite upgrade, when available. In my experiences at the W Doha, St. Regis Mauritius, suites were available and they were amazing. So, upon checking into the Sheraton Kuta I was pleased to hear the sweet suite words, “You’ve been upgraded.” Avid readers may recall my experience at the W Scottsdale where, much to my chagrin, I was given a standard room with a view of nothing. The room rate for a suite at this hotel goes for $400 a night, destroying the 2-3 cent precedent for SPG redemptions. Beyond being able to boast to my points colleagues about this stay, I have also garnered more evidence for my theorem that status not spending power is more is important. Through many of experiences with SPG, Hilton, and Hyatt, I have been upgraded to rooms that I would never pay for and would venture to guess that most money savvy travelers also would not splurge for. In Mauritius, my one bedroom suite was $1000 a night of which I stayed on points while status-less honeymooners were confined to the standard room overlooking the pool while shelling out $500 a night. It is easy to sit back and criticize points travelers for reveling in their room upgrades, business class suites, and lounge access but who really is the smart one; the fool who travels for free in style or the fool who looks down his nose while spending half a year’s saving for half the privilege?