Travel Guide - ThePointsOfLife

Simply the Best: September 2014

TPOL's Best

thepointsoflife

-

October 2, 2014

Would you look at that? It’s October meaning the start of the MLB Playoffs broadcast live here in Mongolia. More importantly, it’s time for another edition of Simply the Best, the monthly recap of everything great @thepointsoflife.

For the newcomers, here’s what you have missed in the previous six months that I’ve been in operation: March, April, May, June, July, and August!

For the regulars, welcome back to the lounge of greatness. I’m sure you remember these clever posts:

1. TRUE DETECTIVE: THE CASE OF THE STOLEN IPHONE [ACT I], [ACT II], [ACT III], [THE DEBRIEF]

2. THE KNOCKOUT: THE WINNER’S BRACKET OF WHERE TO STAY IN VEGAS

3. TRIAL BY JURY OF SOCIAL MEDIA

4. VEGAS KNOCKOUT: MY FANTASTIC VOYAGE AT THE TRUMP HOTEL

5. VEGAS KNOCKOUT: THAT’S PALAZZO, THAT’S PALAZZO

6. ALL KINDS OF GAINS: AN EXPAT’S GUIDE TO EXERCISE

7. VEGAS KNOCKOUT: WHY OH, WHY DO I LOVE PARIS?

Don’t forget my newest addition to the blog, the Espresso of the World map, tracking The Pulse of the world, one city at a time, one cup at a time. Also coming this October, are more Trip Reports using my trademark pending Guns And Butter approach.

Vegas Knockout: The Black Magic of the Artisan Hotel Boutique

thepointsoflife

-

October 1, 2014

0

(14) Artisan Hotel Boutique vs (3) Encore

The Artisan Hotel Boutique is dark. The Artisan Boutique Hotel is unknown. The Artisan Hotel Boutique is haunted.

The Artisan Boutique Hotel doesn’t have ghosts and goblins or anything of that sort, but it does have a magic and delight like no other hotel in the entire world. I’ve never been by day so I cannot tell you of the pool that receives rave reviews. However, I can tell you that I can’t help but be overcome by the mystique of the hotel by simply walking into the lobby for an after hours affair. The place is overrun with chandeliers, paintings from the floor to the ceiling, and couches from yesteryear.

Lobby6540 — photo courtesy of artisanhotel.com

This place is widely known by locals of the Vegas scene but a mystery to outsiders due to its location somewhere off the Strip. That’s what makes it unique. That along with the hotel rooms of which none is identical. Each features its own collection of paintings and its own clever decor. For the lovers out there that want some dash with their Mrs, tune into a certain channel for some interesting programming.

The hallways look like a scene straight out of A Clockwork Orange

The Artisan Hotel Boutique is the sort of establishment that you exit in the wee hours of the morning, your eyes squinting from the relentless sun, searching for not only a taxi but also answers as to what happened the night before.

~~So you’re tired of the same style of Vegas night…~~

Better put: If your not tired after a long Vegas night, then press forward onto the Artisan Boutique, an experience that will not disappoint.

Blog Giveaway: Exile to a Desert Island for a Man Named Brady

Sports Reporter

thepointsoflife

-

September 30, 2014

0

Dear Brady,

I hope you are fine with me calling you by your first name. I have received your resume 110,000 times over and am pleased to inform you that we have an immediate spot available for you on our deserted island.

We understand that the last four years have been quite stressful for you so our goal is to make your transition as smooth as possible. Luckily, you are used to standing on the sidelines doing nothing so we trust that you’ll acclimate quite quickly to island life. Recall the tranquility of playing before an empty stadium at the end of the Utah game. That silent retreat will be a daily reality.

You may be wondering what a day in the life of living on a deserted island consists of? Fear not, each day will be a microcosm of a Michigan football season. The day begins with hope from the new area you scouted for fishing but inexplicably produces nothing. Not seeing the results you had anticipated, stick your head in the sand for a quick respite. With no strategy in mind, you can always go for a swim hoping against hope that turns the tide in your favor. Earplugs, like headsets are optional. After another disappointing day, rest assured you’ll awaken to the blurred reality that you’re not living in mediocrity.

Ready to MAC on this B1G paradise?

Respond to this offer before the end of this season and we’ll even allow you to bring along your buddy Dave Brandon.

Don’t worry, you will still be able to enjoy the maize of the sunny skies and the blue of the ocean water but beware of the downpour from the approaching storm crowds washing away all your progress from which your rendition of the Big Sandcastle was built.

Forever yours,

Not A Michigan Man

cabo 2 (237) — The sun setting on your dillustrious career

Vegas Knockout: If These Walls Could Talk, The Riviera Hotel & Casino

thepointsoflife

-

September 29, 2014

0

(26) Riviera vs (10) Venetian

The Riviera was the first hotel I ever stayed at in Las Vegas. It has been in operation for 59 years and it’s still going strong. Since my initial stay, I have not returned to the Riviera but it isn’t because I had a bad time. It’s because there is something pure, almost sacred about one’s first time in Las Vegas that should be left undisturbed.

The memories live on in the form of pictures, capturing moments filled with sounds from iPod dock speakers, livers overrun by Grey Goose, and heads full of ignorance.

Looking at pics from the pool, many years past its prime, I can’t help but think about the celebrities and parties the hotel hosted. Rather than give you the rundown of my first time, I’d rather share fun facts about the Riviera that make my memories that much sweeter:

Frank Sinatra lived in a suite while performing at the property in the 1990s
Notable performers in 1970s – Dean Martin, Steve Martin, Pia Zadora, Burt Bacharach, George Carlin, Phyllis Diller, Liza Minelli, Jimmie Walker
Ninth casino opened on the Las Vegas Strip
Englebert Humperdinck made his Las Vegas debut at Riviera Hotel & Casino in 1969
Famous clients at the Men’s Salon and Celebrity include MC Hammer, Burt Reynolds, Liberace and Joe Pesci, among others
Riviera Hotel & Casino is a pet-friendly hotel (no need to stay at Early’s Apartment)

If these walls could talk, imagine what they shouldn’t say.

Vegas Knockout: A Recap of Week 3

The Deal Ticker

thepointsoflife

-

September 28, 2014

0

3 weeks of the Knockout Bracket and still so many hotels vying for a shot at the title. That can only mean one thing: I’ve been to Vegas far too many times.

Last week the Westin put up a valiant fight with its heavenly bed while the Bellagio became the joke of the town. The Paris had me spoiled with the glamour of gold while the Palazzo graciously took my money at the Strip’s best sports book.

All Vegas’d out, Alex is heading to Rehab to see what comes next.

Vegas Knockout: Roast: The Bellagio

thepointsoflife

-

September 27, 2014

0

(9) Bellagio vs (8) Skylofts at MGM Grand

The icon of the Las Vegas Strip is undoubtedly the Bellagio. Situated right in the center of sin, the Bellagio is the reason tourists from far and wide come to Vegas. From the outside the hotel is stunning and timeless, making it hard to believe that it has only been a Vegas landmark since 1998.

Regrettably, that’s where the positivity of this resort review ends. It’s one thing to stop and gawk at the fountains and the perceived luxury of this beautiful structure, it’s another thing entirely to stay and play at the hotel.

Let the Bellagio Roast begin.

Bellagio, did Danny Ocean really steal that money? It looks like you are in need of an upgrade and can’t find the funds.

Bellagio, how many winners have you had at the sports book? Probably as many as you can seat. Maybe take some advice from the Palazzo and build a sports book that’s bigger than my living room.

Bellagio, you call this a suite? Refund my money from using the famous $20 trick. This room is older than, well you get the point.

Bellagio, I do love your casino, especially in the winter. It is a great shortcut when walking to your neighboring property, Caesars Palace.

Bellagio, the Bank Nightclub? Is that place still open?

Oh, eff this, I’m going to go back outside and look at the fountains.

Espresso of the World

Scholar

thepointsoflife

-

September 26, 2014

2

My next book set for publication is entitled The World Press. The World Press is my personal collection of cups of espresso I’ve enjoyed around the world and the stories that accompany them. Each story begins with the literal image of the cup and is further illustrated by the metaphorical cup of the accompanying culture.

From a social perspective, the press is unique: First, the same beverage is shared all over the world. Second, it is shared and consumed in similar ways, with slight cultural/regional variations. And third, the topics discussed over caffeinated cups are the same: politics, weather, religion.

As I learned from writing my first book, it’s not the writing process that is difficult, but the editing and marketing that pose the biggest challenges. In order to move the project forward, I am publishing an entry for each city. That way I can create a buzz (pun intended) and get a kick-start on the revising process.

So pour a cup of java, click a country, and let’s get on with the journey!

Vegas Knockout: Why Oh, Why Do I Love Paris?

thepointsoflife

-

September 26, 2014

0

(13) Paris vs (4) Cosmopolitan

I love Paris in the spring time
I love Paris in the fall
I love Paris in the winter when it drizzles
I love Paris in the summer when it sizzles
I love Paris every moment
Every moment of the year
I love Paris, why oh, why do I love Paris?

I love Paris because it was comped.

When I think of high roller suites in Vegas, I think of the movie Rain Man where Charlie Babbitt and Ray are dancing in their hotel suite before Ray’s date with Iris:

Yeah. She’s very sparkly. Definitely very sparkly.

Very sparkly.

In Vegas, low rollers get a free room at Early’s Apartment. Medium rollers get a free room at the Priceline Pretenders. And what do high rollers get?

High rollers get the largest room at the Paris Las Vegas Hotel and Casino.

Apart from my first class fight aboard Emirates, I haven’t seen so much gold in my life.

The freebies do not end with the room.

Looking for some food? Looking for some drinks? Looking for a party?

You’re money is no good here. But your room number and last name is.

Or maybe you are looking for a quiet evening in?

IMG00196-20120428-0945 — Make a few drinks at your own stocked bar

IMG00195-20120428-0945 — Then perform some show tunes on your grand piano.

I love Paris, why oh, why do I love Paris?

Vegas Knockout: That’s Palazzo, That’s Palazzo

thepointsoflife

-

September 25, 2014

0

(12) Palazzo vs (5) Mirage

In Napoli where love is king
When boy meets girl
Here’s what they sing

When the moon hits your eye
Like a big pizza pie, that’s amore
When the world seems to shine
Like you’ve had too much wine, that’s amore

That’s Palazzo, that’s Palazzo.

Ah Palazzo, the Vegas hotel that knows what I want in Vegas, i.e., to feel that I am not in Vegas. The trend, as you have seen from the inception of my Knockout Bracket is to find a hotel that tricks you into believing that you are in the middle of the action while being far away from the grime.

Enter the Palazzo, the second coming of its sister resort, the Venetian. The Palazzo is like a fine Chianti, rich yet unassuming, bold but unpredictable.

Let’s examine the best reason to stay at the Palazzo besides my appreciation for fine Italian wines- sports gambling! The sports book at the Palazzo is bar none the best in all of Vegas. Most sports books in Vegas have oversized fake leather couches with impatient waiters, losing patrons, and chimney smokers. Ask for a burger and you’ll get a burned piece of roadkill and a hefty bill of $16, gratuity sneakily included.

What’s worse than when your 15 team parlay inexplicably doesn’t come through? I’ll tell you: uncomfortable chairs, outdated televisions, and terrible service. (I’m looking at you Bellagio.)

The sports book at the Palazzo has couches and private televisions. Imagine watching Michigan lose another game to a MAC opponent while being comfortable! Sure your waging ticket is worthless and you wish that Brady Hoke was fired yesterday but how much are you enjoying those nachos?

Of course, the Palazzo resort has beautiful rooms, access to Tao Beach (to be covered in the Venetian review), and the mediocre nightclub Lavo, but the reason you stay here is to break the bank banking on parlays.

Yet with all this, and most likely due to unlucky tournament seeding, the Palazzo is knocked out by the Mirage.

Ain’t that a kick in the head.

Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong…Except Mine to Blackberry

thepointsoflife

-

September 24, 2014

0

Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong…Except Mine to Blackberry

I’ve been doing all sorts of things including driving a taxi cab to promote my book Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong (available here for purchase on Kindle and paperback).

An article in the NYT today titled “Blackberry, Under New Leadership Unveils Its Newest Smartphone” caught my attention, reminding me of Step 5 of my book.

Step 5 of the Ten-Step plan to break free from your cubicle is to “Remain unHRable”, a concept of my own creation that describes those who can’t deal with the mundane of Mondays, choosing instead to try and make it on their own. Anyhow, within the step, I describe how an unHRable like myself couldn’t even land an interview at Blackberry even though I sent what has turned out to be an oracle of a cover letter.

Check it out below: Had they listened to me then, maybe they wouldn’t have to do what they are doing now.