Guns & Butter: Medellin Travel Guide


Medellin Travel Guide is part of the Punxsutawney TPOL Trip Report, where TPOL leaves the basement. It’s finally happening despite inconsistent policies, interruptions, and human stupidity as explained in these posts:

TPOL’s Guns & Butter Travel Guide is the best way to see as much as you can in as little time as possible. Here’s how it works – A trip is composed of two factors: Labor And Lazy. The opportunity cost (what is given up) for relaxing and being Lazy is gained by being adventurous in the form of Labor and vice versa. The guide includes inefficient activities i.e., tourist traps that should be avoided and aspirational activities that are worth doing but may be impossible to see given the constraints of time and resources.

Despite visiting Medellin two times, I have not done everything I would like to do. I didn’t gather enough information about the city the first time, which was not my fault (see below). The second time I was there for work (see IQKhameleon in Medellin for the Final Stretch). Since the objective of Guns & Butter Travel isn’t to be comprehensive, I can still present this Guns & Butter Travel Guide.


Avoid going to the hospital in Medellin. It will ruin your time. The best way to do this is to not drink aguardiente (see There’s Such A Thing as Too Much Aguardiente & Travel Advice: Mistakes in Medellin)


And more importantly, do not drink aguardiente with strangers. I later learned that I was the victim of a hyoscine drugging (see Mystery Solved: TPOL’s Disappearance in Medellin).

Beware when you are here

Parque Lleras

Before checking in or after checking out of the hospital, head to Parque Lleras. Though I had trouble there, I would still recommend it.

Happy in Medellin
Post hospital


The best part of going to Colombia is the exchange rate. Everything is cheap. A great exchange rate and great food is a recipe for success (see Where to Feast: Medellin).


The first time I stayed at the Four Points. I have no pictures to prove it. The second time I stayed at my friend’s house (see Hostel v. Hotel v. Friend’s Home). Here is a picture of that wonderful place.

Local Recs

The Provenza neighborhood was recommended as was the Envy Roof Top bar.


Stick to Uber. It’s illegal at the airport (see Uber Is Illegal in Medellin Airport, Unless Your Brother Is Picking You Up) but it’s safe.

If You’re Into Microfinance 

Popular investment firms include:

  • La Isla
  • Loutron Medellin

TPOL’s TIP: Prostitution is legal in Medellin but only in government-sanctioned brothels.


I’m still haunted by my first experience in Medellin. I went back a second time for work. Perhaps I will go back a third time for a combination of the two.

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