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Read for Comedic Purposes: TPOL’s Out of the Office (For Carnival in Trinidad)

Typically, TPOL’s Out of the Office post consists of the following: “I’m out of the office. Good day.” I never thought people actually read the content in the office autoresponders. I learned that is not true my second year at the University of Michigan. As a joke, I put, “I’m out of the office in the Cayman Islands. Should you need further assistance, please contact my secretary.” I neglected to turn off the responder.

Sleeping in the back of my economics statistics class, I heard the professor say, “Someone requested an overhead projector for their project, but when I responded, the email said to contact the secretary as the individual was in the Cayman Islands.”

I raised my hand to acknowledge that I wrote the message.

Which brings me to today’s out-of-the-office message. I am out of the office in Trinidad for Carnival. I don’t know if I’ll discover the same bliss as I did in 2019 (see Last Minute Trinidad Carnival Guide! Everything You Need to Know And Stuff You Will Figure Out On Your Own!), but I will find out. In the interim, you can contact my secretary should you need further assistance.

For those curious, I received a B+ in that course. The theme of my project was “Is Disney in Decline?” Fast forward decades later, and the answer is still TBD.

a group of people in clothing walking down a street
2019 Trinidad Carnival

Ritz-Carlton Amelia Island: You Call This Luxury?

I’m still waiting to be blown away by a Ritz-Carlton. My first RItz experience was in Kazakhstan (see This Is Kazakhstan?). My second was in Tenerife (see We’ll Make It Better, The Second Time Around). Both were good, but fell short of that epic luxury experience that one would expect from the luxurious name ‘Ritz-Carlton’. My most underwhelming experience at a Ritz was on Amelia Island, a barrier island off the coast of Jacksonville, Florida. To be clear, I did not seek this place out myself. I was there for a work conference. What made it so bland? The Hotel Itself The hotel was built in 1991. It felt like 1991. a tall building with palm trees and grass a wooden bridge over a beach a walkway to the beach The Room The room was dated. There were no elements of luxury. I do not understand how a standard room goes for 1k a night. Even the $350 block rate was excessive. a room with a couch and tv a bed with a bench and a round mirror a room with a table and chairs and a table and a mirror a coffee machine and coffee cups on a table a paper towel dispenser and two glasses The Bathroom The shower was standard. The toilet was in this tiny space. a bathroom with a mirror and sink a shower with a hosea group of bottles of shampoo The View  I was upgraded to an ocean-view room. While the view was nice, I am spoiled by my daily ocean-view from my villa in Rio Mar, Puerto Rico. a table and chairs on a balcony overlooking the ocean a view of a beach from a balcony The Pool This was a standard pool that you would find at any Sheraton. a pool with palm trees and a building in the background The Beach People come to Amelia Island for the beach? Although it was pretty early in the morning, there are so many better places in the world without the outrageous price (including Puerto Rico). a tent on a beach a tent on a beach a sandy beach with blue sky and sun a beach with chairs and umbrellas Laws For such a hand-off state, they sure are sensitive about nature. a sign on a post a sign on a wood deck The Restaurants Once you’re on the Island of Dr. Moreau, it’s not easy to get off that island. This makes avoiding extortionist prices difficult. I had hoped to gorge on free breakfast as a Marriott Lifetime Elite, but free and Ritz-Carlton do not go together. Fortunately, food was included in my work conference. On one occasion, I foolishly joined lawyers richer than I for dinner at the hotel post open bar. I was traumatized by the amount the finger-food dinner cost. Luckily, I was spared having to pay. The Bracelet The hotel does not have room keys. Instead, guests have to wear a bracelet that opens their doors. I am not a fan of this, though I did like that I could boast my importance by waving my bracelet around those rich lawyers with inferior status. a green fabric label with black text The Coffee $4 for an espresso? I will stick with the pods in my room. shelves with cups and mugs on it Resort Fee When’s this bullshit going to stop? a white paper with black text on it And Now for the Good
  • The Gym
The best part of the hotel is the gym. Although I bring my own equipment, I can say that a typical gym-goer will be impressed by this gym.
  • Putting Green
I spent most of my time entertaining myself on the putting green.a group of golf balls on a racka golf course with palm trees and a building a group of balls on a green field
  • Service 
The hotel is not luxurious, but the service is excellent. Everyone was warm and inviting. Even the woman who said breakfast is not included went out of her way to sympathize with my desire not to spend money.
  • Mercedes
The day I checked out, I found out that there is a way to get off this cursed island. It is with a complimentary Mercedes provided by the hotel. a black car parked in a parking lot Overall Are people who can afford to stay at hotels like this unaware that there are much better ways to spend their money? a building with a clock tower and a tree

Iberia Business: Athens Back To Lisbon Via Madrid

It was very difficult to find a flight from Lisbon to Athens (see SWISS Business: Why Am I Leaving Lisbon for Geneva?). It was even more difficult to find a flight back. To make it work, I had to book a business-class flight on Iberia, then a coach flight on TAP. I departed at 3:50 PM and arrived in Madrid at 6:45 PM. From there, I was stuck in the airport until 11 PM. a white airplane with red writing on it a white object on the plane a plate of food and glasses on a table Residency Lesson: On residency, only direct flights are allowed. The point is to get in, get out, and do as little as possible to disrupt my schedule.  

Remman Cafe Doha: Late Night Eats

All those futbol games build up an appetite. Skip the tourist trap of Souq Wasif (see World Cup Day 2: England vs. Senegal) and head to Remman Cafe for excellent Lebanese food. It’s so good, I went twice. Stick to the basics: hummus, shawarma, lahem ajeen, and tubbuleh. You can’t go wrong. a white bean soup in a bowl a burrito on a plate a plate of food on a table a pizza with a lemon wedge on top TPOL’s Tip: Remman Cafe is located at Ezdan Tower 1, Doha, Qatar

Simply The Best: January 2026

The months roll along. I’m back to daily blogging. Here’s the best from January:
  1. World Cup Day 4: Portugal vs. Switzerland
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    4 World Cup games in 4 days. Where else in the world is that possible? #saudi2030
  2. Jamaica Carnival Review: My Fault Or Miserable Party?
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    Those few hours of fun gave me hope that I might not be that miserable.
  3. BlackBerry Reboot? TPOL Pre-Orders The Communicator
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    The tagline for the phone is ‘Designed for doing, not doomscrooling’.
  4. Guns & Butter: Philadelphia Travel Guide (Political Edition)
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    America is a country of immigrants. If it were not, you would not have TPOL.
  5. Recap! Jamaica Carnival  
  6. Missed Flight? How Much Time for Checked Bags?
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    The AA agent said that I could not check in my clubs and recommended that I put them back in my car if I wanted to make my flight.
  7. Admirals Club Philadelphia: Under Construction Safehouse
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    When I was finally given my boarding pass after being denied boarding for the World Cup, I rushed to the AA Flagship Lounge in Miami searching for a bottle. I did the same thing in Philadelphia after I was initially told I had arrived too late to check my bag.

Priority Pass Lounge Athens: People Are Peeved

I always say that a lounge is better than no lounge. But tell that to the people in the Priority Pass Lounge in Athens. People were deeply upset that there was no place to sit and that there was not enough food. Getting up from your chair meant losing your chair. After this mediocre holiday, I was in no mood for people with moods (see Athens for Nightlife? Not My Pick). a glass doors in a building people sitting at tables in a restaurant people sitting in a room people sitting in a room a plate of bagels with ham and cheese  

Tanks Aside, Skip South Tarawa, Kiribati

Have you heard of Kiribati? Neither had I until I started looking for Avios redemptions in the South Pacific (see Extra Sweet Spot: Fiji to Kiribati on Avios). Before arriving, I tried to find accommodations, but the prices were exorbitant, or no one responded. The only hotel that did was in South Tarawa. I figured I would get on the ground and go from there. Arrival Upon arriving, there was a small kiosk with brochures for bungalows in North Tarawa. I took down a few names and attempted to make contact. a group of posters on a table George Hotel  Getting There: The hotel picked us up from the airport. The George Hotel is a well-known hotel in Kiribati. But it is not filled with tourists. It is occupied by workers from around the globe in Kiribati for all sorts of odd work. The rate was $122 a night, which is quite steep for what I received. a blue building with a sign on it a room with a table and luggage two beds in a room What to Do?  There’s next to nothing to do in South Tarawa besides drink beer and hope the Wi-Fi works. The food at this hotel and the hotel next door was unremarkable.
a hand holding a piece of paper with black text
How much do you hate Wi-Fi codes?
a building with a balcony and trees
The nightclub across the street
a group of blue cans on a glass table a plate of food with rice and meat Stuck? Not knowing what to expect, I had originally booked three nights in South Tarawa. Almost immediately, I knew that this was a mistake and made plans to escape. I made plans to leave the next day. There was one problem. No one could take me to the dock to get to North Tarawa. The only person who knew how to drive was out sick. It took some effort to finally find someone to pick me up.
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Negotiating a ride
Tank Tour The only attraction in South Tarawa are the tanks left over from World War II. They are awesome. The ferris wheel can be skipped along with the shipyard. a ferris wheel in front of a fenced in area a boat in a body of water a rusty object on a beacha rusty tank on a rocky beacha rusty boat on a beacha beach with trees and a buildinga beach with trees and water a beach with trees and water a cannon in the bushes a cannon in a stone ringa cannon on a stone walla large metal object on a beach a person standing on a cannona rusty structure on a beacha rusty object on a beacha sign in the grass a fence with a fence and a fence a body of water with a blue sky and clouds Overall Minus the tanks, you should skip South Tarawa. TPOL sacrificed one day of his life to learn that for you.  

Hyatt Place JAX Airport: It’s Near the Airport

If you are looking for someone who has been to more Hyatt Places than he would care to share, look no further than TPOL. In this latest installment of cursory reviews of the Hyatt Place, I take on the Hyatt Place JAX airport. I had a law conference on Amelia Island and did not want to pay the premium rate for what turned out to be an abysmal stay at the Ritz-Carlton (see You Call This Luxury?). Ever frugal, and with a late-arriving flight, I stayed here first. Below are photos of the room. You’ll notice that this time I decided to showcase how the Hyatt Place looks at night.a hallway with lights on the wall a couch in a room a couch and a table in a room a desk in a room a room with a television on the wall a bed with a wood headboard and two lamps a shower head and a shelf a group of shampoo bottles on a wall Getting There The Hyatt Place JAX Airport is near the airport. You would think that goes without saying, but how many times have you booked an airport hotel only to find out it’s a ways away? Breakfast Hyatt Place is known for its bland breakfast. This was one stop beyond bland. I was offended by the integrity of the bagels. I was also irked that there was no coffee at either station.a plate of food on a tablea bagel and cheese on a plate a group of coffee containers on a shelf Overall Some Hyatt Places are great. Some are just another ‘place’ to lay my head.a car parked in front of a building

Guns & Butter: Athens Travel Guide (2025 Revision)

The Athens Greece Travel Guide is part of the Trip Report Athens Marathon: The Original Course which includes the following cities: Click here for the picture preview.
Here is the Athens Travel Guide using the Guns & Butter methodology:
  • A trip is composed of two factors: Labor And Lazy
  • Anything on the line (Production Possibilities Frontier for my fellow economists) is an efficient use of your time depending on your tastes and preferences.
  • Anything inside the line is inefficient as should be avoided.
  • Anything outside is aspirational but may be impossible to do given the constraints of time and resources.
  • The opportunity cost (what is given up) for relaxing and being Lazy is gained by being adventurous in the form of Labor and vice versa.
Capture Introduction  I remember my 6th Grade teacher Mrs. Gramer who probably had early onset dementia because she would kick kids out of class and forget to bring them back in. When it happened to me and I left for lunch without her permission, I told her, “But Mrs. Gramer, you always forget things.” She wasn’t amused. Anyhow, Mrs. Gramer taught us about the Cradle of Civilization in your boy’s homeland of Iraq, the journey of Cristobal Colon to the New World, and about the rise and fall of the Greek Empire. We all gazed in amazement as she showed us pictures of the Parthenon while she simultaneously looking for her lost spectacles. They were, as always, on top of her head. Despite being one of the students from hell, I was excited to learn about Greek culture and hoped that one day I would be able to go to Greece. At that time my PanAm award miles was empty leaving me to wonder how I would get to Athens in a lie-flat seat. The Athens Marathon  The opportunity finally came to visit Greece when I signed up for the Athens Marathon. It doesn’t get any more Labor intensive in regards to Guns & Butter than running a marathon. While my finishing time of 5:05 wasn’t my greatest achievement, I would still recommend the Athens Marathon to anyone looking to complete the Original Course, the route that Pheidippedes took to deliver the news of a Greek victory against the Persians from the city of Marathon to Athens.
The Authentic
The Authentic
The Winner's Medal
The Winner’s Medal
The Acropolis 
The Acropolis from the hotel
The Acropolis from the hotel
Mrs. Gramer would be very proud that I made it to the Acropolis. She wouldn’t be as impressed with my source for the definition of what the Acropolis is, an ancient citadel located on a high rocky outcrop above the city of Athens which contains the remains of several ancient buildings of great architectural and historic significance, the most famous being the Parthenon. (reference Wiki.)
The entrance from below
The entrance from below
Theatre of Dionysus On the way to the top, stop and admire the Theatre of Dionysus, the first theater in the world. Dionysus is the god of the grape harvest, winemaking and wine, of ritual madness, fertility, theatre and religious ecstasy in. (reference Wiki.) While I didn’t see any ritual madness going on, there were plenty of people climbing over each other to take photos.
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Aiming for photos with no tourists
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Tickets purchased on stubhub
Odeon of Herodes Atticus The Odeon of Herodes Atticus was built in 161 AD by the Athenian magnate Herodes Atticus in memory of his wife, Aspasia Annia Regilla (reference Wiki.) Today it is used as a concert venue and the site of the Athens Festival which celebrates Greek culture and history.
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Restored marble seating
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The great opera singers have performed here
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Would be great to come for a concert
The Parthenon  The Parthenon is a former temple on the Athenian Acropolis. It is dedicated to the goddess Athena, whom the people of Athens considered their patron. Construction began in 447 BC when the Athenian Empire was at the peak of its power. (reference Wiki.) It was interesting to learn that the Parthenon wasn’t primarily used as a temple. Instead, historians believe that it was the original Fort Knox, safeguarding the gold of the Greek Empire.
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The Parthenon
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Loaded with tourists
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It’s remarkable that it has survived this long
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Tower of Zeus in the distance
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Parthenon is currently under restoration
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Less tourists from the other side
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View of the National Gardens
The Acropolis
Mrs. Gramer, not pictured
Cost  It costs 12 euros to get into the Acropolis which also includes access to the Temple of Olympian Zeus. Note the hours for the Acropolis. It closes at 3PM during the winter and 7:30 during the summer. National Monuments The Temple of Zeus  It’s easy to take for granted how impressive the Athenian architecture is because the historic landmarks are now surrounded by a busy city. On one side of the street, there is a coffee shop probably opened within the last few decades, on the other there is the Temple of Zeus constructed between 472 and 456 BCE. The attention to detail, the longevity, and ingenuity of the structures are a testament to the greatness of the Greek Empire.
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Temple of Zeus
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The remnants
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The columns
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Taken from outside the gate
Before sunset
Before sunset
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The Temple of Olympian Zeus, also known as the Olympieion or Columns of the Olympian Zeus, is a colossal ruined temple in the center of the Greek capital Athens that was dedicated to Zeus, king of the Olympian gods. (reference Wiki)
The Hellenic Parliament
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Parliament
The Old Royal Palace is the first Royal Palace of modern Greece, completed in 1843. It has housed the Hellenic Parliament since 1934. (reference Wiki.) The Parliament is located across from Syntagma Square which is adjacent to the King George Hotel. Every hour there is the Changing of the Guard Ceremony in front of the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.
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Changing of the Guard at the Parliament
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The traditional shoes
Syntagma Square Syntagma Square is the central square of Athens. The Square is named after the Constitution that the first King of Greece Otto was obliged to grant, after a popular and military uprising on September 3, 1843. (reference Wiki.) Today, Syntagma Square has new significance. It is the site of anti-austerity strikes which are a result of Greek’s controversial decision to remain in the EU and adapt severe spending cuts. Thousands have taken the square to protest, resulting in riots and clashes with the police. Indeed only days after the marathon on November 8th, 2015, there were more riots right outside of my hotel.
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Syntagma Square
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Photo courtesy of euronews.com
Panathenaic Stadium Panathenaic Stadium held the first modern Olympic Games in 1896. It is one of the oldest stadiums in the world and was the finish line for the Athens Marathon. In 329 BC it was rebuilt in marble by the archon Lycurgus and in 140 AD was enlarged and renovated by Herodes Atticus, giving a seated capacity of 50,000. (reference Wiki.)
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Day before the marathon
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Panathenaic Stadium
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Host of the first modern Olympic Games
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Greek statue outside of Panathenaic Stadium
Gyros Tour  Seeing all of Greek’s architectural marvels and taking the time to read about all of them on Wikipedia is exhausting. After a busy day of being a responsible tourist, it is time to go on a Gyros Tour, which is the most delicious part of Greek culture.
Fast food gyros
Fast food gyros
Dine in gyro
Dine in gyros
Plaka Plaka is an old neighborhood in Athens located right off of Syntagma Square. There are many restaurants, gyro parlors, and coffee shops to enjoy. Unfortunately, there is also a McDonald’s and H&M which mars the cultural purity of the neighborhood.
Plaka to the left of the square
Plaka to the left of the square (and KFC)
McDonalds: America's cultural contribution to Greek tradition
McDonald’s: America’s cultural contribution to Greek tradition
Church in Plaka
Church in Plaka
Outskirts of Plaka
Outskirts of Plaka
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Train on edge of Plaka
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Dining street in Plaka neighborhood
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The local ‘cab’, decent enough
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Delicious
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Mixed grill plate
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Antica Restaurant
Monastiraki Monastiraki is the flea market neighborhood next to Plaka. Though there are some quality items of great craftsmanship, a large portion of it is stores filled with counterfeit bags, useless trinkets, and opportunistic salesmen.
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Ah finally, penis souvenirs
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Monastiraki
National Gardens A tranquil escape from Athens is the National Gardens which is located right next to the city center.
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National Gardens
Aigeli  Aigeli is a cafe within the National Gardens and a great place to relax and have an espresso while talking politics with locals.
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Aigeli is within the National Gardens
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Double espresso
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Greek coffee, sweetened
The King George Hotel  The historical landmarks described within this travel guide is only steps away from one of the best hotels in the world, The King George Hotel. After finishing the marathon, nothing was better than getting a bag of gyros and returning back to the peace of this hotel.
The King George
The King George
Hotel Grande Bretagne The second choice is George’s neighbor, Hotel Grande Bretagne. Espresso in the am Grnad Hyatt Athens In 2025, I stayed at the Grand Hyatt Athens. I suggest skipping this place. a group of people on a rooftop pool Hotel Cecil For the budget-conscious traveler, you could stay where my friend stayed, the Hotel Cecil. While it’s terrifying from the outside, it is in the middle of the hustle and bustle of Athens’ nightlife. a building with a sign on it
a door with a metal cage and a metal railing
And it has this endearing elevator.
What Not to Do 
  • Beach: It goes without saying that the beaches of Greece are better in the islands, though Bolivar Beach Club was a nice place to spend the day.
TPOL’s Tip: Bolivar Beach Club is located at Leof. Poseidonos, Alimos 174 55, Greece Conclusion 2015 Everything I saw in Athens was centered around Syntagma Square as well as the 26.2 miles route to Athens. It would have been nice to leave the city and go to the countryside for wine tasting but running the marathon made doing so impossible. While I enjoyed my time in Athens, I expected it to be more lively. Instead, I found a city that lacked energy. It felt like the people were worn out from the emotion of dealing with the uncertainty from the financial crisis. I wish I could say I was hopeful about the future of Greece but given the government’s actions, I do not see how the situation will improve. I am of the mindset that Greece should stand up to Germany, default on their loans, leave the EU, and retain their autonomy. That, I believe, is what the ancient Greeks would have done. Conclusion 2025 To quote 2015, “While I enjoyed my time in Athens, I expected it to be more lively. Instead, I found a city that lacked energy.”
Athens Happy Train
Athens Happy Train

<==Back to Gyro Tour – 

 

World Cup Day 4: Portugal vs. Switzerland

Day 4 of the World Cup was the culmination of my World Cup experience. For the final match, I paid the retail price of $274 for category 1 tickets in advance of knowing who was playing (see The Guide to Buying Tickets for the World Cup And Other Big Events). I had hoped that it would be Portugal vs. Brazil, but Brazil finished first in its group, leaving me with Portugal vs. Switzerland. Incidentally, my seats for the Brazil vs. South Korea were better, despite being Category 2. Sober No More As I have documented, there was no energy at this World Cup. It was a muted affair. To make sure I had some fun, I went to a watch party before the game, where I opted for performance-enhancing supplements. a group of people sitting at a table with drinks and cans a person holding a red can a row of red cups on a table a menu on a table Morocco vs. Spain The excitement wasn’t only on account of alcohol. Morocco was playing Spain and had forced penalty kicks. The place was a madhouse when Morocco won. a group of people sitting at tables and watching a football game a large group of people sitting at tables and eating outdoors
Turbans for Sale In addition to a few shots, I made a few friends who appreciated the Urban Turban (buy yours here). a group of men smiling at the camera two men taking a selfie a group of men posing for a picture a group of men posing for a picture a group of people sitting at a table with drinks Lusail Stadium  When I bought my tickets, I wanted to make sure I would be going to Lusail Stadium. It is the most beautiful of all the stadiums at the event. It did not disappoint. rows of chairs with a large stadium in the background a group of people walking in front of a large building a large stadium with lights at night a large circular building with people walking around with Mercedes-Benz Superdome in the background a large building with a triangular structure a man sitting on the ground The Game The game was a bit blurry (reference alcohol above). Portugal went up quickly, and it was over for Switzerland shortly after it started. a large stadium filled with people Where is Ronaldo?  There was some controversy as Ronaldo did not start. He eventually made his way onto the pitch but did not do much.
a man standing in a stadium with a football field and a crowd Travel Lesson People complained that there was no alcohol at the World Cup, which made the event boring. I agree that alcohol and making party go hand-in hand. Having said that, I will no longer drink before any sporting event. It’s fun in the moment, but I don’t remember much more than that. The same is true when I watch sports at home. I need to be fully attentive so my energy gets passed to my team. Post Food at the Intercontinental  My favorite bar in Doha is the Belgian Cafe at the IC. It has great burgers and great beer, despite the sticker shock. two glasses of beer on a table a burgers and fries on a table Metro? This Way!  The logistics of this World Cup were world-class (see Qatar 2022: Tremendous World Cup Logistics). Free metros to go anywhere. a group of people on a subway a football ball on a pole Overall 4 World Cup games in 4 days. Where else in the world is that possible? #saudi2030