Remember when checked bags were free? Remember when you got a free (terrible) meal on the plane that was undercooked and disgusting? Remember when you felt a sense of accomplishment because you convinced the flight attendant to give you the whole can of Coke!
Those days are over and we are being duped into paying fees without questioning why. Initially, the excuse for checked bags was because of the cost of fuel. Fuel costs have gone up, down, and all around but checked bag prices have not gone away. Instead, we gleam with pride when we present our airline awards card and tell the agent at the check-in desk, “No, my first bag flies free!”
I rarely check bags because I like to get in and out of the airport in a hurry because nothing is more demoralizing than watching one bag after another get dumped onto the carousel only to wait for yours never to come. While we are on the subject, a quick aside, does anyone else believe that they put a couple of dummy bags on the carousel as soon as you land to give you a glimmer of hope that your bags too will quickly be on their way?
Anyhow, last week I took my free flight from Phoenix to Costa Rica. In total it cost 40,000 Frontier Airlines EarlyReturns points (a horrible name for a frequent flier program) because only the returning leg was at the ‘saver’ level. The outbound leg went for a premium of 25k while the return was the discounted 15k.
Why is this important? Checked bags, carry-ons, and chickens are allowed with premium bookings. But when I was hastily clicking through to reserve my return seat (which always disappears as soon as the booking gods realize that you are indeed serious about booking) I skipped over the option that said ‘Don’t Get Left Holding the Bag’ followed by a menu of prices.
I had heard that Frontier was charging for carry on bags but assumed that it was only for domestic flights.
Wrong.
I arrive at the airport and the less than helpful agent tells me that I have to pay for my backpack because it exceeds the size of a personal item. Pleading with him that my laptop and jambox were very personal, I begrudgingly gave him my credit card and headed for the gate.
But wait, I almost forgot to add, if you do want to go to Costa Rica and you do plan on returning home, you have to pay an exit departure tax of $29.
And, if you are thinking about using your credit card to pay for your getaway to earn points, think again. A credit card transaction will be treated by the country whose motto is Pura Vida as a cash advance. Pura Vida? No, mis amigos, Pure Ripoff.
In all fairness to the Bureau of Costa Rican tourism, they do sell beer at the airport at 6AM. Too bad it’s $5 a pop.
So in conclusion, I had a great time in Costa Rica but this was the final frontier for me flying Frontier. I’m not saying not to apply for the Frontier Card but just know ahead of time that free without the ‘R’ spells fee.
Con Gusto,
El profesor enojado
Free without the ‘R’ spells FEE
Pho Yo Review
Do you believe it, it’s been a few months and we are still on the air. As I wrote last week, two of my top posts of all time have to do with timeless Pho Sho: Top 10 Pho Worldwide. Before I get going with the countdown and reveal the top places to get pho in the world, just like Casey Kasem would never forget to do, I need to have a quick recap of Pho Not #10, #10, #9, #8, and #7. I began by revealing the shocking truth that New York had abysmal, disgraceful pho in ChinaTown of all places.
#9: Trick Or Treat? Hong Kong Pho Halloween talked about phogetting your problems for a memorable Halloween fiesta, right in the heart of Hong Kong.
#8: Pho-Nix Hotness: My home (for the time being) where the pho and the thermometer can reach the same temperature with only the latter being enjoyable. I need to add that Pho Thanh needs a little help in its water replenishment services, especially now that we are breaking 3 digits outside.
#7: Pho Peace Summit: Shanghai, China: Secretary of State John Kerry must read ThePointsOfLife because he was recently in Asia trying to broker some phormal agreement among China, Japan, and Philippines on the issue of who owns what in the South China Sea.
#6 is on its way, sooner than later. I’ll give you a hint, a man once broke out of prison and swam all the way to his freedom just to get a bowl!
I’ve Been Everywhere and It Sucks!
A couple of weeks ago I wrote a guide for my best friend Mikey on traveling throughout SE Asia. The premise behind the post was that I could not personally go with him and show him around.
Well it didn’t take much convincing- a few photos from Mikey on Facebook to get me motivated to go meet him. I looked at my Award Wallet balance and still annoyed by the inferior service from Frontier Airlines on my flight to Costa Rica told myself it is time to break out the big guns.
Break out Lucille!
Behold 100k Alaska Airlines miles! It took some convincing but I talked Mikey into taking a barge from Kuala Lumpur to meet me in Juneau. Having spent thousands on hunting and camping gear from REI, I was ready to make this dream trip a reality.
Actually, that’s not the case at all. Alaska Airline miles are the most valuable points currency because they can be transferred to Emirates, the premier airline in the world. I have never flown Emirates in any capacity but have heard the legend of the shower that awaits its first-class patrons.
So I clicked on the link that allows you to book partner flights and typed in the coordinates of where I wanted to go.
JFK-DXB (New York to Dubai)
then DXB to?
DXB to?
For 100,000 miles you can not only fly first-class but you also receive a stopover in Dubai. Mikey and I decided on Bali as our meet up point, but I needed an additional country that I have not seen to add to my country count list.
My travel in the Middle East has been limited but scanning the options available, I know why…I enjoy being alive.
I perused the destinations in Asia as they would be an efficient way to see another country and then meet up with Mikey, Alas, the only country I have not been to is Myanmar and the only way to go there is with a visa. Too bad for me, it will take 10-12 day to process, leaving me with nothing again.
So now I face a conundrum that many points travelers face (and you too will face as loyal blog followers): is it even worth going on the trip when I can’t add another country? Isn’t the whole point of traveling to see new places? Mikey will be Mikey if I see him in Flint or the Falklands but my points can’t be just thrown away on a whim to go to a place I’ve already been, can they?
I’ve been everywhere and it sucks!
Mongolian BBQ (for sale)
As some of you may know I am taking ThePointsOfLife on the road to Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia this summer. The book release party will occur somewhere in the countryside so I hope all of you can attend.
In the mean time, I am selling everything in round two of my epic fire sale (the first described in full detail in Part 1: Trial And Mostly Error of the book Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong . . . Including Mine)
One of the last items I have to sell is my BBQ and let me tell you, buyers off of Craig’s List are very particular about their BBQ’s even if it is being sold for next to nothing.
So to have some fun and to fill in a slow Friday blog day, I have reproduced this epic Craig’s List post for your enjoyment. Of course, if you are in the Phoenix area, please come by and buy it!
The actual posting is here, but here is what I wrote since that link will eventually go dead.
- do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers
30 Minutes to Costa Rica: Easy as Step 1, 2, 3
I went here, I went there, I went everywhere [on points] and my sister was never impressed. She like most of my friends and family really didn’t buy into the points idea or was suspicious as to its legality. Then Memorial Day weekend came and I left…to Costa Rica.
“This is the first time I’ve been impressed with your points crap,” she halfheartedly complimented. Why when I showed her pictures of Maldives and her dream bungalow was she so excited by this trip? Because it was booked at the 11th hour and 59th minute for basically free. I say basically because of all these stupid fees, hidden taxes, and ridiculous charges imposed by taxis, Frontier Airlines, and the country of Costa Rica which will be addressed in tomorrow’s blog. For now, let’s focus on the Pura Vida (pure life) way that I got to go on this great impromptu trip for mere pennies.
Forget 30 Days to Maldives, you can get to Costa Rica in about 30 minutes of work.
Step 1: Apply for the Frontier Airlines Card
Step 2: Spend $500 on the card.
Step 3: Receive 40k miles, enough for a roundtrip ticket to Costa Rica!
Then live the Pura Vida while doing your best Tarzan impression following the superman zipline experience.
Simply The Best
I would like to thank Lenovo for my broken X220 laptop, Lenovo again for this terrible X1 Carbon Touchscreen POS with Windows 8 replacement, and all my loyal followers on all the wonderful social media outlets. We have made it! It seems like only 2.5 months ago that I started writing this blog… It has been only 2.5 months. Anyhow, a lot has changed since then and I have happily received plenty of new readers. Therefore, to honor this momentous occasion and catch everyone up on what they have missed, here are the Top 10 posts of all time (as tracked by WordPress).
2. NO ONE LISTENS TO THE PROFESSOR
3. My Book: Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong (Glad this made the Top 10)
4. PHO SHO: TOP 10 PHO WORLDWIDE
5. #10: RED LIGHT PHO
6. ARABS FIGHT OVER WHO MAKES THE BEST KEBAB
7. About the Author (see you guys do care)
8. THE POINTS OF LIFE (not the name of the book nor is it a religious cult)
9. THE UGLY HUNGRY AMERICAN
10. 30 DAYS TO MALDIVES: STEP 1 (weird the drop off from Step 1 to Step 2)
Honorable Mention goes to
“TAXI MY FRIEND?” THAT IS YOUR HINT TO RUN
IF YOU DO GO TO A RESTAURANT WHERE WINE IS OUT OF YOUR BUDGET, DRINK BEER!
Welcome Back (from Costa Rica)
My apologies to everyone who had nothing to do over the long Memorial Day weekend because my blog had no new content. Friday morning I was wondering what I should write about and, devoid of content, starting looking at the balance of my points accounts.
One account that caught my eye was my Frontier Airlines account that had 40k miles. I had previously signed up for a Frontier Card that gives 40k points after $500, enough to for a ticket to Costa Rica.
A quick check of availability showed a flight from Phoenix leaving that evening to Liberia, returning Tuesday from San Jose all for a grand total of $40 (or so I thought).
A few clicks later and I was on my way.
Given my Memorial Day weekend experience, I will cover a few topics this week:
1. How to apply for the Frontier Card so you too can go to Costa Rica while making yours truly a few dollars. (All bloggers who say, “Apply for cards, it’s such a good deal” are getting paid from them. So I’ll just come out and say I too would get paid if you kindly click my referral link. Wow, I am one of them now.)
2. The ridiculous world of airline fees even when you fly for free.
3. Transport and other hidden costs of traveling.
4. When staying in luxury is an inconvenience.
5. More hints about my book promo. I should add that the title of the book is not ThePointsOfLife but rather Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong . . . Including Mine as there has been some confusion about the name; more proof that people read headlines, not posts!
Anyhow, welcome back!
What Would You Do for Book Sales?
Since I cannot personally go to SE Asia with Mikey and show him the ladyboy bars in Bangkok…
Cambodia: My least favorite country in SE Asia. Calm down all you backpackers who found your soul or discovered yourselves while touring Angkor Wat. Cambodia was the last country I visited in SE Asia and I ended up with food poisoning after drinking bad ice. Ironically, I took a picture of the menu that said “we use clean ice” as a joke before I had my bucket of rum and coke and then the chills and death set in.
- See Angkor Wat: All soul-searching weirdness aside, Angkor Wat is a must see, an astounding example of what man is capable of.
- Skip Sihanoukville: Although Majid and I had a great time drinking 25 cent beers and lounging on the beach, this hippie beach town is probably worth skipping in lieu of other beaches on this list.
Bali, Indonesia
- See Bali Kuta: Please go to the Bounty Hotel and drink FGD all day at the pool while listening to the customary backpacker tracks played by the resident DJ.
- Skip Nightlife in Seminyak: Why take the dangerous motorbike all the way to this ritzy part of Bali when Sky Garden Bali plays your favorite hiphop every night. Club KU DE TAH was a nice establishment right on the water but lacked the fun.
- Maybe: Maybe you should do something besides drink and party in Kuta and see the rest of this beautiful island, Mikey. I know Brent and I planned on climbing a volcano to see the sunrise but ended up detoured by those FGD.
- Hanoi: There’s a street of pho and more pho. Ask the locals as I was too stupid to write down the name but pho sure worth the visit. See what I did there?
- Ha Long Bay: If you see anything in Vietnam, see Ha Long Bay. It looks like a scene from Pirates of the Caribbean from the outside and a scene from Batman on the inside.
- Ho Chi Minh:
Skip Shooting Guns: You do that enough at home.
Secret: Pho locations. Will have to wait for the top ten list to be done or private message me lol.
Thailand: I’ve been here many times before but you tell me where else to go besides Koh Phangan, Koh Samui, Phi Phi Islands, Bankgkok, and Phuket since you’re going to be living there.
Last tip! No matter where you go, just say no!
#7: Pho Peace Summit: Shanghai, China
Hoang Sa Islands? Xisha Islands? Let’s settle it over a bowl of pho.
The Paracel Islands have been in the news over the past few weeks not because of their tropical beaches or iconic full moon parties. The flora and fauna of the islands is of little concern to either side. The dispute is over the rights to the potential oil reserves around the islands and control of the South China Sea waterway. In this ongoing dispute between Vietnam and China, China claims the uninhabited archipelago known to them as the Xisha Islands belongs to them while Vietnam claims that the Hoang Sa Islands is rightfully theirs.
There are serious implications in regards to the outcome of this dispute. If China maintains the globally unpopular position that the islands are theirs and the international community cannot arrange a compromise, they will tighten their grip as the world’s emerging superpower. The precedent set if their actions go unchecked and will mirror those of Putin who defied the Budapest Memorandum on Security Assurances and annexed Crimea as part of Russia. By all accounts, Putin’s appetite to restore Mother Russia remains unsatisfied as he has his eyes set on other parts of Ukraine and even Moldova. The same can be said about China, a country that has territorial disputes with the Philippines, Taiwan, and Japan. These countries are more capable foes than Vietnam given their own militaries and U.S. backing making the outcome in the Paracel Islands ever more critical. Make no mistake, China is using the Paracel Island dispute as a test case of what they can do without international reprimand.
The natural culmination of this interesting tug of war ends with the professor’s peace accord. The complexities of the negotiation require both sides to come to the table and engage in a meaningful discussion. Such talks cannot commence on an empty stomach. Pho peace to prevail, I propose setting a meeting at the 7th best place in the world to get pho– Shanghai, China.
Pho Sizzling’s uncompromising flavor and cost-conscious menu will placate China’s desire to swallow whole the sovereignty of its neighbors.
