When I was in Antigua, I met a captain who preferred life at sea versus life on land. While I love Pirates of the Caribbean, I don’t think I could be Jack Sparrow full-time. In Roatan, I met scub divers who, like Sebastian, prefer to live under the sea.
Ranking the dare-devil activities that I have yet to do, scuba is near the bottom. As an archivist, I have no interest in activities where I cannot capture the moment. I also do not want to get hooked on another hobby (see Muay Thai) because there’s not enough time in the day, nor money to do every single thing. Equipped with my waterproof Osmo Action 5, I resolved the first concern.
Ignoring my other concern, I wanted to see if crass Sebastian was correct: is it better down where it’s wetter? Accordingly, I booked an intro scuba course in Roatan. It cost $125, including tax. Part of the excursion included an in-classroom segment, a pool warm-up, followed by a dive with depths up to 40 feet.
Unfortunately for me, the weather did not cooperate on the day of my dive and the excursion was cancelled. Having weaseled my way out of death on my snorkeling excursion the following day (see Shaqtin’ a Fool: How I Almost Drown in Roatan), I contemplated whether I could be bothered to try scuba. Thinking of waking up early in the morning, attentively paying attention in a classroom, then practicing in a pool, seems like a lot of work for a hobby where the fun comes from going down under multiple times.
Sipping on champagne, relaxing on the beach, seems like a much better time than exposing myself to the possibility of another addiction. Maybe one day I will give it a go, but right now, and with all due respect to Sebastian, life is the bubbles on land.
I’ve done my fair share of daredevil activities (see Wild One). I don’t consider snorkeling to be one of them. It was this dismissal that could have cost me my life.
Monday: No Go
It was a rainy Monday in Roatan. The sea was angry that day, my friends – like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. I dared not go in the water. Not only was it dangerous, but without the sun shining through, killing the snorkeling experience.
Tuesday: The Sun Came Out
Excited that the sun had come out, I was ready to snorkel and document my adventure for my YouTube channel. On the beach, I asked the hotel worker where the fish were to be found. He said past the white buoy by the boats. I went to the activity center and signed out goggles and flippers (Note: there is no charge for rentals because you are extorted $69 for a resort fee at the Kimpton Roatan).
That’s where we’re going to find those shrimp, my boy!
Backstory
I bought an Osmo Action 5 after going to Oman and realizing that the Pocket 3 was not durable for the via ferrata (see This Is Living) and not waterproof for the wadi (see Wadi’ing Around Oman). The problem with the Action is that it requires a specific accessory depending on the sport. For Puerto Rico, I bought the body cam, the neck cam, some clamp thing, and some sticky thing. The day before I left, I realized that I did not have the one accessory I needed: a buoy with a handle and strap.
I told my YouTube producer that I did not feel comfortable swimming without the strap and would use the neck cam as a workaround. He said that would result in crappy footage. Fortunately, for me, Ms. TPOL used the strap meant for my Pocket 3 as a solution. It worked fine, but I was still nervous that there was no buoy.
This should work.
In the Water
Off I went in the water, recording fishes from all swims of life. I was paddling with my right hand and recording with my left. Focused on the fish, I did not realize that I was going in the wrong direction until I came up for air. Somehow, I had turned myself around and was heading back to the shore. Recalibrated, I swam out further towards the buoy. I took more footage and was ready to go back. This time when I came up, I realized that I was further out than I wanted to be. And that’s when it hit me that I did not have a life jacket. Paddling with one hand, going back and forth in the water, trying to capture the fish had caught up to me. I was exhausted. Couple this with the realization that I did not have a safety net and I became a little worried. With no energy, I thought there was no way I could swim back to shore. That prompted a cascade of negative thoughts. “Well, if you can’t swim back to shore then you will drown.” Then I thought, “Imagine if you drown snorkeling. Imagine those jokes.” That was followed by: “Imagine you drown while trying to watch YouTube. Imagine those jokes.”
Taken back to my days learning to swim at the YMCA, I switched from paddling to treading water on my back. Slightly more assured that I wouldn’t become a drowning laughing stock, I told myself that I would hang out like this until I was physically ready to go. Sensing that moment would not come, I returned to treading water and scoped out my options. The best way is to swim to a group of boats nearby, hoping they would take pity on this fool. Luckily, I was welcomed on board and told to take my time and rest.
My plan was to gather my strength and have them drop me off at the original buoy and swim from there. However, the longer I sat on the boat, the further we drifted from the shore.
Look how far I was.
Fate intervened. Suddenly, my goggles snapped off my head and the snorkel kit fell into the water. “Oh no!” I exclaimed, the resort fee won’t cover this! Because of my quick thinking, I saved the goggles like I saved myself from going under.
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I informed the captain of my new situation. He graciously took me to a dock and dropped me off at the nearest dock.
Safety dock
From there, I safely walked back to the hotel.
Glad to be back on land.
When I returned to the hotel, I told the worker what happened. He replied, “My bad, I forgot to tell you to take a life vest!”
In his defense, I didn’t think about a life vest, not because I fancy myself a strong swimmer. I didn’t think to bring one because I was caught up in the sun being out and fixated on capturing footage. That was stupid. Having swum with humpback whales in Tonga with no life vest, in freezing waters, with waves crashing, where tourists have been ‘lost’, you would think that I would be more cautious.
This video is funny in retrospect:
The Kicker
On top of qualifying for Shaqtin’ a Fool for being a reckless dummy, I have more embarrassment to share. The footage was not that good. On top of that, it was not captured in 4k: 16:9 as the producer had requested. I had the mode on 4:3, which is not widescreen.
Overall
No more videos snorkeling for me. I’ll save that for the professionals at the Discovery Channel.
And the beat goes on. I applied and was approved for the Barclays Hawaiian Airlines card. 60k points that can be transferred to Alaska for a 2k spend is one of the best offers I have received in a long time. I used my Alaska points to fly to Melbourne with a stop in Fiji two years ago as part of the Bula! Trip Report and Melbourne Residency. (see Bula! Fiji Airways Vancouver to Nadi Flight Review). Where will I go this time? And, more importantly, will I be approved for the business version of the card, allowing me to book a return flight?
Seated in 1A, I attempted to board the plane. I was turned away by the gate agent, who said that they were only boarding first-class passengers. Instead of a typical Miami airport confrontation, I patiently let the ‘first class’ passengers pass and waited my turn. Moments later, business class passengers were welcomed aboard. Taking my seat, I noticed that there were only 4 seats in business and that those who went ahead of me were seated in row 2.
Business or first?
Delayed
“Due to thunderstorms in Roatan, we are delayed. The captain is waiting for a call back.” The flight attendant informed us that the precaution was because the runway is very short. Fair point.
Service
Unlike the flight from Puerto Rico to Miami, where the service was curt and uncourteous (see AA Business SJU-MIA: Flick the White Button!), the service on this flight was fantastic. While we waited to take off, the flight attendant brought drinks and snacks to both the ‘first class’ and business class passengers. The attentiveness continued throughout the flight, bolstering my claim that one never knows what to expect when flying business on AA.
Before I go on a trip, I go hard with the workouts and have a strict meal plan. It’s no longer for the Tahiti photo opp (see The Tahiti Diet: Making the Bungalow Selfie Count), it’s to create a buffer for the overeating and drinking that I will do (see A Holiday of Healthy, Tipsy, & on Budget? Basically Impossible). The first opportunity to let my guard down is on the plane. On any good international carrier, you will be offered an assortment of dough. From croissants, to garlic bread, to my favorite, pretzel bread, there’s no shortage of opportunities to become soft. I may be strong enough to resist on the first go around, but when they politely ask, “Are you sure you don’t want bread?”, I typically cave. One piece will not hurt anyone, but when an itinerary lasts for the normal 24 days and there are a dozen flights, little pieces of manna do not help. For my trip to Roatan, my self-control did not last long. Despite the sour service (see AA Business SJU-MIA: Flick the White Button!), I could not resist the sweet bread.
“We are going to dim the cabin lights. If you need additional lights, please use the one located above your seat.”
That announcement reminds me of my first time flying Qatar Airways. (see Trip Heard Round the World). Long before QSuites, Qatar had a standard business class configuration. On that flight, my seatmate left his overhead light on for the duration of the flight, despite passing out shortly after takeoff. I was tempted to wake him up and ask him to turn it off because I couldn’t sleep. Less confrontational than I am now (see The Etiquette of Things: Playing Your Music in Public), I opted not to do so.
This brings me to my flight from MIA-SJU. The time was 6:20AM. The same announcement came on. Instead of turning on the light, the passenger across the way opened the window shade. Bright lights pierced my eyes. My blood began to boil. Did this person realize what she had done? Is it going to be open for a few seconds or will it last forever? Like the Pops commercial, my freak out almost spills over into this audible suggestion, “Close the f*cking window!’. Before it reaches that point, the window shade is drawn closed.
My relief only lasted but a moment. Suddenly, and without warning, she opened it again. It was bad enough that the window shade was initially opened, interrupting my rest and relaxation. It was another level of irritation that the passenger felt the need to continue the torturous game of peekaboo throughout the flight.
For 25k versus 15k, I gladly chose business class from San Juan to Roatan via Miami. But I am always on edge when I fly business class on domestic carriers. I never know what type of flight attendant I will encounter. On this flight, I came across the one who acts like she’s doing you a favor to serve you. From the outset, I knew this wasn’t going to be fun. With my flight at 6AM, I had only slept for two hours the night before. Prior to takeoff, I took a quick nap. In the fog of sleep, I heard the flight attendant ask Ms. TPOL what she wanted for breakfast. I tried to wake up in time to catch her, but was not successful. Fearing I had missed the opportunity, I did the unthinkable: I rang the call button.
She came over and said, “I wasn’t done,” and then took my order. When the food arrived, I was again asleep. Lost in my dreams, I couldn’t figure out how to open the tray table. Impatient, she hissed, “Flick the white button!” I was confused, forcing her to do it herself. That did not please her.
In terms of the flight, the sweet bread is worth mentioning. The egg frittata was ok.
Overall
Flying AA is like a box of chocolates:
It may look the part…But the champagne is terrible.
Disclaimer: If you use my link to buy something, I might get paid.
I have been looking for a great combo for on-the-go blogging for quite some time (see ThinkPad Compact BT Keyboard: I Can’t Stop Blogging). With the death of the precious Blackberry (see My Travel Technology), I believe I found a suitable replacement. It’s the same Thinkpad keyboard along with an iPad Mini. While I hate Apple, nothing can beat their tablets. And with this small size, I can write whenever I want, including on this flight from San Juan to Miami, bound for Roatan.
I wonder what it would be like to travel without having to document everything? I think it would be boring.
I was stationary in Puerto Rico for a long time but that didn’t mean I felt like leaving. The reason I did is because my IHG stay cert was expiring and my birthday was coming up. I could’ve stayed at the Holiday Inn Express Condado to justify paying the IHG card’s annual fee, but that hotel is quite terrible (see Holiday Inn Express San Juan Condado: Turrible).
Instead, I searched for IHG hotels in Latin America and the Caribbean in a new country that I have not visited (see Where I’ve Traveled). There were two results: Dominica and Honduras. While the hotel in Dominica looked nice, the logistics of getting there coupled with the fact that I didn’t want to trade one island for another had me intrigued to check out what there was to do in Honduras.
I came to find out that Roatan is also an island, the largest of the Bay Islands. The hotel was a Kimpton, a brand that I quite enjoyed when I visited Bangkok (see Kimpton Bangkok: The Best Here?). I quickly rationalized that sitting on a beach in Honduras is quite adventurous because it’s Honduras. I also found a superb flight for 25,000 points and $5.60 from SJU-MIA-RTB. Locked in on Roatan, I went to my favorite website for adventure, Wikiairports, to see where I could go next (see Wiki Airports: Finding Flights to the Unbeaten Path). While the choices were limited, I, within two days, pieced together a spectacular itinerary (see Bus-Ted: Central America Trip Report Points & Cash Summary).
TPOL’s Tip: IHG certificates have to be booked, not used by the expiration date.
Almost ready to congratulate myself, I received an alert that my Hyatt Category 7 certificate which I received for qualifying for Globalist (see Hyatt Globalist: Now What?) was expiring. “Ay Caramba!”, I declared. I wonder if there are any Cat 7s in Latin America or the Caribbean in countries I have not visited. There were not. “Dios mio!”, I exclaimed. I wonder if there are any Category 6 Hyatts in Latin America or the Caribbean in countries that I haven’t visited. There weren’t any.
Maybe I should save my certificate, I thought. That was an impossibility because there was no time between this trip, the expiration of the certificate at the end of June, and my residency trip in July (see Off Again! SJU-TBD Trip Report).
TPOL’s Tip: Hyatt stay certs must be used by the expiration date.
I checked out Category 5 but also found nothing. Out of options, I rationalized burning it on a lower category. I quickly talked myself out of that idea. Instead, I booked the Grand Hyatt Playa Del Carmen. I did this for three reasons: 1) It was the best value for the cert as the room was going for 29k or $700 a night. 2). In my book, Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong…Including Mine (purchase here), I ridiculed people who go to Playa Del Carmen who believe that place is the ‘dream’ vacation and wanted to see it for myself. (That distinction now belongs to Tulum (see I’m Still Not Going to Tulum)). 3). It was an easy flight from where I was coming from El Salvador.
2 certs expiring, 2 certs booked. I was ready to go.
Overall
I resent the obligation that expiring stay certificates impose. However, without due dates, I would never leave my bubble.
Judging from this photo, do you think it was worth leaving?
