Guns & Butter: Victoria Falls Travel Guide


TPOL’s Guns & Butter Travel Guide is the best way to see as much as you can in as little time as possible. Here’s how it works: A trip is composed of two factors: Labor And Lazy. The opportunity cost (what is given up) for relaxing and being Lazy is gained by being adventurous in the form of Labor and vice versa. The guide includes inefficient activities i.e., tourist traps that should be avoided and aspirational activities that are worth doing but may be impossible to see given the constraints of time and resources.

The Victoria Falls Travel Guide is part of the South America & Africa Points Heist Trip Report.

This is the best guide for everything to do in and around Victoria Falls. It includes Zimbabwe, Zambia, and Botswana.


Travel is great until the bill comes. The total for all of the excursions was $1130. See the full breakdown here. There are many other activities that seemed like a scam. One of them was walking with the lions in Zimbabwe. I skipped that tour, and even after seeing pics of it I have no regrets. Basically, you walk with semi domesticated lion cubs and get to pet them and take pics. That doesn’t seem authentic. Another expensive excursion is a helicopter flight over Victoria Falls. And there’s no way I’m going on a hot air balloon again.

Next Time

I wish I would have made time to go to Namibia, Nambia’s sister country.

To Do

Besides what I wanted to do and what I would avoid, here is what you must do:


Three Monkeys Pizza: one of my favorites in the world.

Golden Leaf Indian: If you’re craving Indian, this is the place.


Victoria Falls: This is what you came for.

Bungee: This is what you live for.

Devil’s Pool: Again, this is what you came for plus vanity of taking pics.

Chobe National Park
If you’re staying in Victoria Falls in either Zambia or Zimbabwe, do not miss out on the chance to see wildlife including the Chobe Chicken with a day trip to Botswana.

Chobe chicken


Zimbabwe has so many ripoff options that go for hundreds a night. There are no points hotels. I tried to stay at Rainbow Hotel but was sourced to the sister property of Victoria Falls Deluxe Suites. While it’s a nice hotel, it is isolated and requires a cab to go anywhere, even during the day. My advice is to stay near town within your budget.

In room dining

This is a no brainer. For the service and basically for free, stay at the Protea.victoria falls travel guide


I stayed two nights in Zimbabwe and two nights in Zambia. I would have liked to have stayed in Namibia but there’s always next time.


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