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Monday, July 15, 2024
HomeUnited StatesFloridaConfidante Miami Beach: Physically Hurting from No Status

Confidante Miami Beach: Physically Hurting from No Status

Confidante Miami Beach Hotel Review is part of the Rum Rum Caribbean Castaway Trip Report.

Post Uber delays at the airport (see Uber Pool FLL Scam! Don’t Waste Your Time), I arrived at the hotel confident that I could check in early. I forgot two points: 1. Miami is the worst place for customer service in the world. 2. Explorist status gets you Rodney Dangerfield respect.a building with palm trees and a street

The front desk said the hotel was at 100 percent occupancy and that the standard check in time was 4PM. The current time was 830AM. I went to get an espresso and wait for my room. One hour later, still nothing. I went to the pool to wait there. Three hours later, no call. Maybe it would be until 4PM before I could check in. Exhausted, I decided to go for a run on the beach (see Who Runs Miami Beach?).
a beach with umbrellas and chairs a group of people sitting on a beach with umbrellas a beach with chairs and umbrellas and buildings
a group of people on a beach with umbrellas and chairs a beach with chairs and umbrellas a beach with umbrellas and buildings in the background a wooden fence and a wood fence
At 2PM, I received the text that my room was ready. Was it worth the wait?
Each blogger has his/her own standards on what makes a photo worthy of a Hotel Review. I try to not cut out pieces of the bed, parts of a chair, or any artwork. In this tiny excuse for a room, that was very hard to do. Half the room was occupied by the display of goodies that only a fool would dare touch.a mirror in a room a mirror in a room a room with a tv and a table a table with a picture of a woman on it a lamp next to a window a bed with white sheets and orange pillows a bed with a lamp and a chair a bed with pillows and a lamp on the wall a framed picture of a drink
Welcome Gift
Do you feel compelled to consume the welcome gift regardless of what it is? TPOL has a problem saying no to free. These macarons were not great but that didn’t stop me from eating them.a plate of food with flowers and a pencil
The real welcome gift was this view.
a building with palm trees and a body of water a beach with palm trees and a body of water a beach with palm trees and a pool
Shower Mist
WiFi, a/c, comfortable bed, and a good shower. Those are the four pillars of life. After the Pool Party (see Where to Pool Party in Miami), I required a good shower to put TPOL back together. I found a light mist forcing me to resume my dancing from the previous day in order to get wet.a shower head in a bathroom a group of bottles and a towel in a basket a bathroom with a window and towels a bathroom with a sink and toilet a bathroom with a sink and mirror two glasses on a counter

Kids shouldn’t be allowed in a hotel lounge, and they shouldn’t be allowed in the adult pool. At Confidante, there is a family pool and I didn’t spot any rule breakers.

a pool with a donut floating in it
Quiet kids pool
a pool with umbrellas and palm trees
A little louder later

The adult pool hosted a chill pool gathering with a DJ and plenty of novelty inner tubes. None beat my duck from Tahiti!

a pool with an inflatable flamingo floating in it
Quiet in the AM
a group of people in a pool
Chill pool party
I used my Hyatt cert to stay here. It’s a good redemption. Otherwise, I can’t fathom why anyone would pay $500 a night for an average hotel.


  1. Why should kids hot be allowed in a hotel lounge? I can agree that they should not be allowed in a adults only pool, but a lounge is not the same. Kids can be just as quiet as adults and in a lot of cases more quiet if they are shy. If their parent is paying for lounge access or have lounge access why should their kid not be allowed? I am sorry the lounge is not your personal work space where you can banish anyone you don’t see fit out of. That is your room.

  2. Your duck looks an awful lot like a flamingo. As to customer service, I’m from Miami and I won’t go back to New York because the customer service is so awful, so YMMV I guess. As to the rooms size, a lot of the beachfront hotels were built around 100 years ago when you weren’t spending a lot of time in your room, like these new hipster Millennial targeted hotels. You know, the ones that you can see and be seen while sipping your craft beer or your mocha vegan soy latte?

  3. This hotel was among one of the WORST hyatt properties. I stayed here as a top-tier Diamond (now Globalist) member and received no upgrade to a suite. Breakfast food had flies on them. The room ceiling was dripping water. One pillow case in my room had not been changed and smelled like stinky feet; when I complained, the manager insisted to come to my room and sniff personally by himself, and said the pillow smell was caused by “humidity” which was “normal in Miami”….

  4. @Christian
    I am a New yorker with a part time residence in Miami Beach. I often find customer service in Miami to be less than competent. It seems as though people are hired with no training, no experience and simply have no idea what is going on. I did not mention the language barrier but in some cases it is a language barrier, discrimination issue if you are not a native spanish speaker.
    In my opinion New Yorkers can be rude but businesses are better run with less atypical problems happening.

  5. I feel I should not have to wait for my child to become an adult, but rather enjoy today. That is why kids should be allowed in the lounge if they are well behaved.

    After all “ThePointsOfLife is founded on the principle that you shouldn’t have to wait for tomorrow to enjoy today.”

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