TPOL’s Guns & Butter Travel Guide is the best way to see as much as you can in as little time as possible. Here’s how it works – A trip is composed of two factors: Labor And Lazy. The opportunity cost (what is given up) for relaxing and being Lazy is gained by being adventurous in the form of Labor and vice versa. The guide includes inefficient activities i.e., tourist traps that should be avoided and aspirational activities that are worth doing but may be impossible to see given the constraints of time and resources.
Welcome to Miami, the most overrated city in the world (see The Worst Cities in the World). Somehow, I keep coming back, forcing me to write a Guns & Butter Travel Guide.
Let’s get to it so I don’t have to spend another moment here, even if it is virtual.
Nostalgia
Miami only has a special place in my heart because it is where I wrote one of my first blog posts (see Swamp Water) more than seven years ago (see Simply The Best: TPOL Triple Bogeys, Turns 7). Speaking of nostalgia, remember when there was an Aloft on South Beach (see Aloft South Beach Review: Now A DoubleTree Review)?
Recreation
- Paddleboard
One activity Miamians do is paddleboard. I’m not an expert, but I don’t see the point of this sport (see Paddle Bored).
- Run
Another Miamian pastime is running (see Who Runs Miami Beach?).
- Pool Party
It’s not Vegas, but Miami is adequate for pool parties (see Where to Pool Party in Miami).
- Golf
Golf is the best recreational experience in Miami. I’ve played at everyone’s favorite president’s course twice (see Making America Great Again: Golden Palm At Trump National Doral & Keep America Great: Blue Monster at Trump National Doral).
Eat
- For the Cool Kids
If you’re looking to party in the scene and have great food, STK is your place (see STK Miami: Noisy Delicious).
TPOL’s Tip: STK’s address is 2305 Collins Ave, Miami Beach, FL 33139
- For the Sandwich Lovers
I recommend La Sandwicherie Miami Beach for a filling, economical, delicious meal.
TPOL’s Tip: The address is 229 14th St, Miami Beach, FL 33139
- Dishonorable Mention
Coyo Taco Wynwood has good tacos but it’s overpriced. $37 for one person?
- Honorable Mention
Perricone’s Brickell was fantastic. I neglected my blogging responsibilities and did not take photos of the veal marsala.
TPOL’s Tip: The address is 1700 SW 3rd Ave, Miami, FL 33129.
Stay
Don’t get Mario started on my opinion of Miami. He is probably still upset with this classic post: Hyatt Regency Miami: You’re Not Staying Here Anyway. To date, I have not found a points hotel that can replace the Aloft South Beach (see Aloft Brickell: In Miami’s Other City & Confidante Miami Beach: Physically Hurting from No Status).
TPOL’s Tip: If you have a layover, make sure you know which Hyatt Place MIA you booked (see Hyatt Place Miami Airport: Careful, There’s East & West!).
Overall
Miami sucks. I almost stopped traveling after the last time I went (see Air TPOL Retiring From Travel). Why did I go back?
