River Walk! TPOL’s San Antonio Food & Drink Guide


The River Walk San Antonio Food Drink Guide is part of the Final Four San Antonio Trip Report. Spoiler alert: Michigan didn’t win it all, neither did Arizona whom TPOL foolishly picked.

The day after Michigan beat Sister Jean, I arrived in San Antonio in anticipation of Michigan’s first Final Four victory since 1989. While the flight was free thanks to booking ahead on Southwest, there weren’t any hotels that were friendly on the wallet or affordable on points. Luckily, I have a friend that lives near downtown who knew the best places to eat and drink on the River Walk. (If you disagree, take it up with him, not me.)

The River Walk 

I now understand why Charles Barkley hated it when the finals were held in San Antonio. Besides the Alamo, there’s nothing to do in San Antonio but go down to the River Walk. There, visitors can stroll next to a dirty, Flint River-esque, channel of water. Fortunately, there are many great restaurants and bars alongside the river to distract tourists from the gross cesspool that is the San Antonio River.  

A guided cruise costs $12.
Ascent from the River Walk

Casa Rio 

Descending from the main street down to Penguin’s lair, a great first stop for hungry travelers is Casa Rio. As becamce tradition, I started with a margarita and had bottomless chips and sodium salsa. I also tried a bowl of chili and the nachos. Everything looked delicious but I was too full to go on. The Michelada is worth skipping. 

Durty Nelly’s 

If Michigan has another disappointing football season or if the Final Four is held in San Antonio in 2030, Durty Nelly’s is where you will want to go if you are a Michigan fan. On the Sunday before the championship game, the bar was crammed with Michigan fans singing The Victors and booing Villanova fans.

The bar was also littered with free peanuts which are not allowed outside because of the mess they make. 


Uber is a scam, it is always surging. The day before Uber was surging 3x to 4x as people tried to get from the stadium to their hotels. This is when it makes more sense to take a taxi. With no game on Sunday night and no one in the streets, it made no sense that Uber continued to surge. Instead of paying that greedy company money, I went to Originals for more chips and salsa. I traded the margarita for a 32oz beer while pacing myself on the appetizers so I could finish my fine fajitas. 


The day of the game, I woke up with heartburn and swore off chips and salsa and margaritas. An hour later I found myself at Rita’s with a giant margarita and more chips and salsa. The chimichanga was also the right and wrong call to get the day going. 


This is a great bar near the Alamodome. Perfect for drinking away your sorrows after a Michigan loss. 

Justin’s Ice Cream Company 

Looking for a place to take a date? Head to Justin’s Ice Cream Company. The gelato is quality, and the flavors change with the times. 

Tastes like defeat.

Dick’s Last Resort 

If there’s a place TPOL should work, it would be Dick’s Last Resort. There, the waiters insult the customers as part of the experience. I invite my trolls to stop in during one my shifts. 


The River Walk is as touristy as it gets. You can either go there and complain about how dirty the water is. Or you can go drink, eat, and have a good time. True to TPOL’s style, I did both.


  • Open containers are allowed in the River Walk.
  • Last call at Originals is 1:30am. Might as well go with the 32oz beer.


  1. There’s so much to do in SAT than just Riverwalk and Alamo. Do you research before you go. These photos were pretty badly shot. Anyone can write for The Boarding Area these days…

  2. Manage to get a room that Monday night at the Holiday Inn on the Riverwalk using the IHG credit card annual free night. Good return on investment for a room that was otherwise going for over $400.

  3. San Antonio is a wonderful city. It’s very old and the city has many museums, fine dining, and other attractions . A very interesting place for the history buff. If you are not so intellectually inclined you would be bored . I find it relaxing and go there to get away from it all. If you like Mexican food check it out. There is the regional cuisine of Mexico and of course Tex-mex.

    • ‘if you aren’t so intellectually inclined’, you calling me stupid lol? Obviously, I wrote about the tex-mex food.

  4. This is a pretty low quality report. Clearly you did San Antonio wrong. Did you know it is America’s second largest city? It’s like saying the only thing to do in DTW is GM World.
    And the quality of your replies to your readers (who pay your bills) speak volume. How did you get to be part of Boarding Area?

    • San Antonio is not America’s second largest city. And it’s called the first amendment. This isn’t a communist blog where I can’t respond to criticism with respectful candor.

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