The day after Michigan beat Sister Jean, I arrived in San Antonio in anticipation of Michigan’s first Final Four victory since 1989. While the flight was free thanks to booking ahead on Southwest, there weren’t any hotels that were friendly on the wallet or affordable on points. Luckily, I have a friend that lives near downtown who knew the best places to eat and drink on the River Walk. (If you disagree, take it up with him, not me.)
The River Walk
I now understand why Charles Barkley hated it when the finals were held in San Antonio. Besides the Alamo, there’s nothing to do in San Antonio but go down to the River Walk. There, visitors can stroll next to a dirty, Flint River-esque, channel of water. Fortunately, there are many great restaurants and bars alongside the river to distract tourists from the gross cesspool that is the San Antonio River.
Descending from the main street down to Penguin’s lair, a great first stop for hungry travelers is Casa Rio. As becamce tradition, I started with a margarita and had bottomless chips and
sodium salsa. I also tried a bowl of chili and the nachos. Everything looked delicious but I was too full to go on. The Michelada is worth skipping.
If Michigan has another disappointing football season or if the Final Four is held in San Antonio in 2030, Durty Nelly’s is where you will want to go if you are a Michigan fan. On the Sunday before the championship game, the bar was crammed with Michigan fans singing The Victors and booing Villanova fans.
The bar was also littered with free peanuts which are not allowed outside because of the mess they make.
Uber is a scam, it is always surging. The day before Uber was surging 3x to 4x as people tried to get from the stadium to their hotels. This is when it makes more sense to take a taxi. With no game on Sunday night and no one in the streets, it made no sense that Uber continued to surge. Instead of paying that greedy company money, I went to Originals for more chips and salsa. I traded the margarita for a 32oz beer while pacing myself on the appetizers so I could finish my fine fajitas.
The day of the game, I woke up with heartburn and swore off chips and salsa and margaritas. An hour later I found myself at Rita’s with a giant margarita and more chips and salsa. The chimichanga was also the right and wrong call to get the day going.
This is a great bar near the Alamodome. Perfect for drinking away your sorrows after a Michigan loss.
Justin’s Ice Cream Company
Looking for a place to take a date? Head to Justin’s Ice Cream Company. The gelato is quality, and the flavors change with the times.
Dick’s Last Resort
If there’s a place TPOL should work, it would be Dick’s Last Resort. There, the waiters insult the customers as part of the experience. I invite my trolls to stop in during one my shifts.
The River Walk is as touristy as it gets. You can either go there and complain about how dirty the water is. Or you can go drink, eat, and have a good time. True to TPOL’s style, I did both.
Open containers are allowed in the River Walk.
Last call at Originals is 1:30am. Might as well go with the 32oz beer.