Fed up with the losers back home “LBH” who come to Bangkok for sex tourism (see TPOL’s Take: Sex Tourism in Thailand), we needed a change of scenery. I was told to go to Pattaya. From what I recalled, Pattaya is another Phuket full of LBH’s and one of the worst places in the world. Wanting to relive the days of my youth and experience unadulterated fun (see Party Time Worldwide), I decided to return to Koh Phangan for the Full Moon Party.
TPOL’s Truth: A little older, I decided to go only for the days leading up to the party. Age notwithstanding, the pre-party is better than the party itself.
The earliest available flight was at 8AM. Given that it was already 5AM, there was no time to second guess my decision. I hit book, told my friend to pack his bags, and hoped there would be an Uber available (see Ejected! Taxi Bangkok).
For $250 per person we flew Bangkok Airways, a quick one-hour flight, to spend 4 days partying with travelers from all over the world.
TPOL’s TIP: $250 round trip is the typical price even if booking in advance. Flying Blue is available for redemption on Bangkok Airways, but it is not a good use of points.
But that’s not why my latest round the world trip is postponed. The reason it is postponed is because the airlines have gone mad. Look at the points required for these flights to China.
What is this madness?! I used to fly Cathay First for 67.5k AA miles (see Cathay First JFK-HKG: Part 1 to Vancouver & Cathay First Booked: Date Determined, Persistence Required). I used to find availability on United.com for my ANA round the worlds (see 25,000 Mile RTW Trip Including Iraq Booked! & Booked! ANA RTW: 22,000 Miles in Glorious Business).
This is what the average person must feel like when they go to redeem miles only to find that Delta charges 120,000 to go from DTW to MCO. Devaluations are one thing but this is ridiculous. Not interested in competing with points inflation, I am putting off my trip until the end of August. When another dream rtw itinerary is confirmed and ticketed, I will look back at this post and know, like Brook Koepka, that I still got it.
I have symbolically landed somewhere interesting on my birthday so I could write a story that begins with, “On my X birthday I landed in…, an experience that would forever change my life.” I used this strategy when I landed in Shanghai in 2010 to launch my international career. Specifically, I wrote, “I booked a one-way flight to China that would arrive on my birthday, May 19. This was done strategically to provide content for my future memoirs. By doing so, I would be able to recount, ‘I arrived in Shanghai on my twenty-eighth birthday…five years later I became the export king of widgets throughout the world.'”( a full account of what happened can be found in my book Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong . . . Including Mine). I arrived again in Shanghai on my birthday in May 2018 as part of the Tahiti Trip Report. I had a visa issue then (Visa Blunder Part 3: China Visa-Free Transit Disaster (again) ) and ended up having to go to Hong Kong for a same-day visa run (see Visa Blunder Part 5: An Unexpected Birthday in Hong Kong).
For my 40th birthday, I elevated the theme to a different level. I decided to go to my parents’ home country, Iraq, for the first time (see Iraqi Homecoming Trip Report: An Introduction). I wanted to see what life would have been like had my parents not moved to the US.
The official celebration happened in a mall restaurant, just like I would have done at home.
Do you recall my “Taxi my friend?” The Worst Places to Hail a Cab written in 2014? I had Bangkok as #5 on that list. Here is the excerpt: “If I come one day and there is no traffic, then I tell you there is no more Bangkok,” the taxi driver told me. Ever since then I have repeated that line to taxi drivers who tell me, “Today there is too much traffic.” Another trick I perfected is to sit in the front seat next to the driver and when he says, “Sorry no meter,” I react by turning the meter on myself. That usually gets a good laugh from the driver who now takes me where I want to go at the meter price. I followed up that post with Avoiding Taxi Scams Abroad in 2016. Tip #5 was ‘Don’t Get Killed.’ I wrote, “Common sense is in order here. If you feel that you are in a situation that is dangerous, then hand over the extra Thai baht. Nothing ends a vacation abruptly like getting hacked by a machete.”
Since that time, Bangkok has changed in one notable way. It has Grab, the go-to rideshare app (see Grab: The Rideshare App in Singapore And Thailand) that will spare you from shady taxi drivers. First, like Uber, it will tell you the price before you book including the surge price during peak hours. Put in your location, wait for the ride, and arrive in peace without the hassle of haggling (see Sharm el-Sheikh Taxi: For 40, I Bring You Camel, Tomorrow). When the demand is high and the wait times are too long, it is not worth using Grab. That does not mean the app isn’t helpful. During such times, you can at least get an idea of how much a ride should cost and, depending on your frugality/negotiating skills, hail a cab off the street to get you on your way.
I found myself in this situation one Monday night in Bangkok (see One Night in Bangkok: A Marathon Party Guide). Grab said it was 180 baht ($5) to Khaosan, but I would have to wait a few minutes. Desiring Khaosan pad thai (see What Are You Doing on Khaosan Road?), I boldly went old school and hopped into a random cab in front of the Aloft Bangkok on Sukhumvit 11 (see Aloft Bangkok: Accept No Substitutes). The driver started out with the usual line written above about traffic congestion. He demanded 500 baht ($14.56). I told the driver that I would not pay more than 200 baht. Initially, the back-and-forth banter was light-hearted.
Driver: Oh, you’re a good man, you will pay 300. Ha ha ha.
Me: No, I am going to pay you 200.
Driver: Ha ha ha. I want 300.
Me: Put on the meter.
Driver: No (still chuckling).
I should mention that this was happening as we were driving towards our destination with neither side willing to budge. Unbeknownst to me, my friend was filming the interaction.
We were more than halfway there when he dropped us off. He received no money and I still needed a ride. Behind schedule, and despite my friend’s protest, “Just pay whatever so we can get there,” I opened the Grab app again to see that the cost from my current location was 100 baht. I hailed another taxi, ready for the next round of negotiations.
Me: Khaosan Road.
Driver: 100 baht.
Me: Thank you.
Overall
I am always annoyed when my local Thai friend says that the reason I get ripped off by taxis in Bangkok is because I am a tourist. Would my first driver have charged him 200 baht because he was Thai? I doubt it. Still, that line bothers me enough to be unrelenting when it comes to dealing with drivers. Fortunately, there is Grab in Bangkok, minimizing the times I have to deal with rogue drivers and maximizing the information I have when I have no choice but to do so.
Read all my taxi adventures here.
The churn days aren’t what they used to be, but it is still fun to receive an instant approval. I applied for the Amex Hilton Business card which has a 150k sign-up bonus and a free night after spending 4k. I also applied for the IHG Business card which offers a 165k sign-up bonus after 3k spend. While the sign-up bonuses are great, I am more excited about the IHG annual free night which more than offsets the $99 annual fee. On the Hilton front, a free night is offered after a 15k annual spend. I have had trouble in the past making good use of the free Hilton night because of weekend redemption restrictions (see Hilton Weekend Certificate: Not Worth the 10k Spend). That restriction is no longer there and, more importantly, the redemption is available for most Hilton hotels, regardless of category.
One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humbleNot much between despair and ecstasyOne night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumbleCan’t be too careful with your companyI can feel the devil walking next to me
Those lyrics are often quoted but not many have taken on Bangkok as I have. My last time in Bangkok was NYE 2016 (see New Years 2016! My Last Binge in Bangkok). I had seen and done everything there was to do there and had no intention of returning. Covid duped me into returning again. Nostalgic and with someone who had never been to Bangkok, I went on another bender.
Disclaimer: This happened on a Monday night.
Nana Plaza
Like visiting Kahosan Road (see What Are You Doing on Khaosan Road?), every tourist has to go to Nana Plaza. I took my friend there to show him what it had to offer. Nana Plaza is where an infamous photo of me and a bucket of ping-pong balls had me ranked high on Google (see TPOL Is #1 in Thai Ping Pong Diplomacy).
THIS IS T-P-O-L BREAKING NEWS: Temptations, the Ladyboy bar, is closed (see Since I cannot personally go to SE Asia with Mikey and show him the ladyboy bars in Bangkok…). Traditional establishments of ill repute have replaced it.
Moral convictions aside (see TPOL’s Take: Sex Tourism in Thailand), we settled on one of the busy strip clubs. Unprompted, the hostess told me that Boom Boom for 2 hours cost 3700 Baht ($113). If you want to stay less than 2 hours that is fine too.
Khaosan Road
Exactly two hours later, I took my friend to the next obligatory stop, Khaosan. The same rival clubs were banging away music as they did years ago (see Guns & Butter: Bangkok Travel Guide). Somehow the music is louder than it was before.
Drugs
Balloons: Why would anyone inhale laughing gas from a balloon? It was confusing that I was continuously propositioned to give it a go.
Sukhumvit 11
Overwhelmed by the loud, banging music of Khaosan, I went back to Sukhamvit 11, the gritty street home to the Aloft Bangkok (see Aloft Bangkok: Accept No Substitutes). Along Sukhumvit, goons and goblins run amuck. It truly feels like the night of the living dead here as all sorts of dark characters approach offering a wide array of services. Everyone has an angle to make an extra baht. Some of the sweet, petite figures may take you by surprise. Don’t be shocked when the A cappella ‘m-a-s-s-ge’ call to action is delivered with baritone bass.
Too early for temptation, I went to check out the nightclubs instead. While they weren’t as packed as I remember, there were still many establishments open. Whether the patrons were there to ‘work’ or party was unclear. I went to Club Sugar but found the music in Bafros, the bar below it, to be better.
TPOL’s Tip: Khaosan Road is always worth visiting even if it is the epitome of tourism. My days of Sukhumvit filth, hotels included, are over.
Last Call?
If the Jeopardy answer was this place has bars that close at two and weed is legal, I would not ring in with ‘Where is Bangkok?’ But in today’s Bangkok, bars close early, leaving the creatures of the night to head to the dark corners in search of blood.
Blade reference aside, the place to be, or not be, is Soi Cowboy, a street full of bars and interesting characters. We went to Penny Wise until it also closed. On the way out, we saw the happiest gentleman in the world being whisked away by a hospitable local. Behind him was his friend, who could not contain his laughter. He remarked that his friend didn’t have all the information regarding his new companion.
Last Call, for Real?
If you’re determined to make bad decisions, there will be a place for you to make them in Bangkok. At this point, we should have gone back to the Aloft and conceded that we had done enough. Instead, we went to Soi 8, a pitch-black street, looking to ‘make party’. We found absolute quiet, another first in Bangkok. About to give up our search for smut, a little old man came to me and said, “The place you seek is close by.” Naturally, I followed him down the dark street into an unlit building. Inside, I found a pool hall with no lights on. I was told to go upstairs.
In a soundproof room, I found a speakeasy with a few people drinking and carrying on. I stayed for a couple of drinks before deciding that enough was enough.
Tom Yum and Green Curry
By enough, I meant enough drinking. There’s always room for late-night Tom Yum and green curry on Sukumvit 11.
Overall
I couldn’t imagine running this gauntlet for another night. That is why at 6AM, instead of going to sleep, I booked a flight to Samui leaving at 8AM (see Early Bird Audible: BKK to Full Moon Party). I swear this was my last binge in Bangkok!
The villa is still a mess, but I have a new laptop. I had to return before Chat GPB takes over, and you are left reading mindless garbage. Here are the Trip Reports that must be completed before I leave again in July:
Thank you for all the messages, letters, and calls. I am fine. The laptop once again is broken (see in 2018 Laptop Broken Again: TPOL Dead and 2017 And Now My Laptop Is Broken). Another Lenovo order is in the works. I do have this Mac Studio that I paid $3500 to acquire to edit my drone videos (see VIDEO: SkyDio 2 Inaugural Flight: Rio Mar, Puerto Rico). Now, I will be forced to learn how to use it. The alternative is to take my laptop in for service, but who knows what Hunter Biden kompromat will be found on there.
When I think of Spirit, I think of my childhood friend who flew Spirit from Detroit to Vegas decades ago. He recounted the story of how the plane ran out of fuel, forcing an unanticipated stop. Based on that experience and based on my general disdain for discount carriers (see What’s the Worst Discount Carrier?), I have avoided Spirit. My rank among the discount carriers has changed since 2020 with Easyjet going from worst to first (see easyJet: The World’s Best Low-Cost Carrier). While I have limited data regarding Spirit, I can say that I enjoyed it enough to join the Spirit Saver$ Club.
Routing
I was leaving from San Juan to Kingston, Jamaica. Since Puerto Rico is a model of inefficiency, I was forced to connect through Fort Lauderdale en route to Jamaica (see Oh No, Not Spirit! Wait, Why Am I Connecting through Panama?). I could have taken Spirit the whole way, but then I would have to spend one night in FLL. Instead, I booked a flight on JetBlue to FLL, crossed my fingers that it would be on time, and was happy when it was.
Plane
Spirit doesn’t help itself by painting its planes this hideous yellow.
Upgrade
With my Amex travel benefit, I booked an emergency exit row and paid for a carry-on bag. The price to upgrade the seat was a reasonable $26. The price of the Just for You bundle, which includes the following, was an excessive $82.
– 1 Carry-On Bag
– Shortcut Boarding
– Pick Your Seat (Standard Seat)
Journey
The seat was comfortable. The flight was short. We left on time and arrived on time.
Overall
In hindsight, it would have been better to pay for the status match than the Saver$ Club. With a canceled Amex Business Platinum (see Keep Vs. Cancel: Amex Business Platinum), I won’t have credits for a carry-on. I would fly Spirit again under two scenarios: if I can find a rock-bottom Saver Club fare or if I’m flying with no bags.
How about you?