Simply The Best & Worst: August 2021

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Simply The Best & Worst: August 2021

August is done. The angry people writing on my blog are not. The top posts are below. It’s noteworthy that the negative posts round out the top 4, thus the title of the post.

  1. COVID Test for Return Travel Is Stupid

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    Last March, I wrote “Describe Trump’s Travel Ban: It’s Stupid.” Today I use the word stupid again to describe the US’s requirement that travelers returning from abroad need to present a negative COVID test taken no more than 72 hours from the date of travel.
  2. Breakthrough Infections: Another Reason Not to Travel

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    For those that have left their basement during COVID, don’t tell me your trip to Croatia and Tulum count as travel and that COVID requirements aren’t a big deal. That is not travel. That is child’s play.
  3. Don’t Route Via Panama

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    Passengers on inbound, outbound, or transit flights who test positive for COVID-19 at the airport will be required to quarantine at a MINSA-designated hotel/hospital for 14 days.
  4. Kayak Answers, “Can I Travel to…?”

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    It’s becoming silly to write about trips that I won’t be taking.
  5. Booked! Michigan v. Wisconsin

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    Traveling domestically just to get off the island is not my idea of a good time. That does not include seeing my feckless Wolverines. This year I am going to Madison, Wisconsin to lose again.
  6. Guns & Butter: Auckland Travel Guide (Not City Centre Edition)

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    I had one day in Auckland to do and see as much as I could. Mission accomplished.
  7. Waimauku: Wine Tasting in Auckland

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    I have gone all over the world to taste wine. One of the best experiences was in Waimauku, a small locality of Auckland.

Autoreply: TPOL Is in Colombia

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Autoreply: TPOL Is in Colombia

Dear valued reader,

I am out of the office and not on the golf course (VIDEO: Golfing Rio Mar, Puerto Rico). If you’re trying to find me, check the hospital (Mystery Solved: TPOL’s Disappearance in Medellin). If I’m not there, it’s because I’m working in Colombia (see IQKhameleon: Halfway There!). If you don’t hear from me in more than a week, it’s because I’m stuck in Colombia with a positive COVID test (COVID Test for Return Travel Is Stupid).

a cartoon of a camel running

Guns & Butter: Auckland Travel Guide (Not City Centre Edition)

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Guns & Butter: Auckland Travel Guide (Not City Centre Edition)

Auckland Guide is part of the Tahiti Triumph Trip Report. It covers the following cities:

See the Picture Preview here and see how this $60,000 trip cost $1999 here. Be sure to check out TPOL’s Map, the best feature of the blog.

TPOL’s Guns & Butter Travel Guide is the best way to see as much as you can in as little time as possible. Here’s how it works – A trip is composed of two factors: Labor And Lazy. The opportunity cost (what is given up) for relaxing and being Lazy is gained by being adventurous in the form of Labor and vice versa. The guide includes inefficient activities i.e., tourist traps that should be avoided and aspirational activities that are worth doing but may be impossible to see given the constraints of time and resources.

I had one day in Auckland to do and see as much as I could. Mission accomplished.

A Night at the Airport

If you’re arriving late, stay at the ibis Airport Hotel (see ibis Auckland Airport: Bring Your Own Push Cart), enjoy some fine dining, and maybe have a pint, happy hour or not.

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a sign outside of a building

Pick up your rental early on and prepare to leave the big city.

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Golf

Visit Gulf Harbour Country Club (see Gulf Harbour Country Club: Where to Golf in New Zealand) for more than a round of golf, it has magnificent views, so long as you don’t fall off the cliff.

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Wine Tasting 

Follow up a round of golf by wine tasting (see Waimauku: Wine Tasting in Auckland).

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Beer Tasting

Wine isn’t the only libation made here. There’s a great brewery as well (see Blind Taste Tasting @ NZ’s Oldest Riverside Tavern). Invalid request error occurred.

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Sleep

Upon arriving at my cabin, I realized that I should have planned to stay more than one night (see The Vineyard Cottages Auckland: Best Hideaway Yet).

a porch of a log cabin

a window with a green wall and trees outside

a tree in a field

Overall

One night in ‘Auckland,’ not in the city centre, was excellent.

COVID Test for Return Travel Is Stupid

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COVID Test for Return Travel Is Stupid

Last March, I wrote Describe Trump’s Travel Ban: It’s Stupid. Today I use the word stupid again to describe the US’s requirement that travelers returning from abroad need to present a negative COVID test taken no more than 72 hours from the date of travel. Next week, I am going to Colombia (see Don’t Route Via Panama), the next step in my IQKhameleon odyssey. Colombia, like North Korea, is on the Level 4, Do Not Travel List (see North Korea – Level 4: Do Not Travel). This means that COVID is hanging out on every street corner, every bar, and every crevice. If by some chance, I can’t outrun its menacing ways like Barry Sanders (see Barry Sanders Reveals Breakthrough Case), I won’t be able to return to the US until I produce a negative test. Here’s why that is stupid:

  1. Like a termite infestation, the virus is already all over the US. Even if I’m contagious, I’m not bringing back something that isn’t already here.
  2. Testing is inaccurate. Someone who takes an antigen test is less likely to produce a positive result than taking a PCR test. Travelers looking to minimize the chance of being stuck will opt for this test, partially defeating the point of being tested.
  3. Being vigilant is a myth. I am not going to lie. If an indoor bar is open, I’m going in for a drink. Second, even if I were on my best behavior and did nothing but double mask and keep my distance, it is a myth to believe that this will absolutely ward off infection. If it’s in the air, it’s in the air. There’s still a chance of a breakthrough case (see Breakthrough Infections: Another Reason Not to Travel).
  4. I can still drink and eat on a plane! How is taking my mask off on a plane safe? Maybe I will be negative 72 hours before but what are the chances of infection from flying? I’m not buying that the air in a plane is COVID free.
  5. COVID isn’t going anywhere: The point of the vaccine is to stop people from dying. It is not going to stop people from getting infected. It is the unvaccinated that should be making the adjustments in their lives. They are the ones that should not be allowed to fly because they are the ones who are holding the rest of us hostage by rules that try to accommodate their ignorance.

I want to get back to normal. Normal means that I may get infected. I might get sick. That’s a risk I am willing to take.

a glass of wine on a table with a city in the background
What happens in the winter?

 

 

 

 

The Vineyard Cottages Auckland: Best Hideaway Yet

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The Vineyard Cottages Auckland: Best Hideaway Yet

Vineyard Cottages is part of the Tahiti Triumph Trip Report. It covers the following cities:

See the Picture Preview here and see how this $60,000 trip cost $1999 here. Be sure to check out TPOL’s Map, the best feature of the blog.

Too many times I have overlooked how much I enjoy wine tasting trips by not providing enough time to immerse myself in the experience. This time was no different. I boldly played a round of golf in the morning (see Gulf Harbour Country Club: Where to Golf in New Zealand), visited multiple vineyards in the afternoon (see Waimauku: Wine Tasting in Auckland), and a brewery to cap it all off (see Blind Taste Tasting @ NZ’s Oldest Riverside Tavern). This left me with little time to enjoy one of the best mom and pop accommodations, the Vineyard Cottages.

The Main Cabin

Far removed from the big city life of Auckland, the Vineyard Cottages is what I envisioned New Zealand to be. Let’s take a look at the main cabin.

a house with trees around it a wooden porch with a tree and a bench a wooden deck with tables and chairs a wooden bench and a barrel on a porch a wooden boxes on a deck a wooden dresser with a mirror and a stool a room with a wood ceiling and a red couch and a brick fireplace a fireplace with toys on top a green safe with a candle on top

The Grounds 

One night is not enough to get the full experience.

a rusty wheelbarrow in a garden a grass field with trees and a carta tree in a fielda sheep in a field sheep in a fenced in field a rusty lantern on a wooden post a horse bridle on a wall a rusted gas pump next to a plant a couple of old gas pumps on a street

My Cottage

Who wouldn’t want to stay here for a few more days?

a road with houses and bushes on the side a house with a porch and stairs a house with a porch and stairsa rusty lantern on a wooden fence a horse collar on a wall a porch of a log cabin a wooden deck with a vine growing out of it

The Room

I suggest buying a few bottles and bringing a typewriter. a living room with a couch and a kitchen a bed in a room a room with a bed and a mirrora bedroom with a bed and a window a table and chairs outside with a door open a window with a green wall and trees outside a window with a view of plants outside

Inspiration 

With my typewriter ready, I only needed to look around the room to be inspired.

a wooden table with a book and a mug on it a picture of a wine bottle and wine glasses a wood stove in a room a framed picture of a woman on a red wall a book with a leather coveran open book with text on it a stuffed animal on a table a key on a keychain

Cooking

Perhaps if I were here for a month finishing Brian’s latest novel, I would invest in groceries and cook. a kitchen with a sink and a stove a wooden cabinets with plates and glasses on a wall

Bathroom

Every writer needs a place to think. a toilet in a room a shower head in a bathroom a sink in a bathroom a group of bottles of shampoo a bathroom with a toilet and a towel rack

Breakfast 

As I only had one night, I made do with the breakfast provided.

a jar of oatmeal next to a jar of oatmeal a coffee machine and capsules on a table

Overall

Next time I will stay longer.

Breakthrough Infections: Another Reason Not to Travel

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Breakthrough Infections: Another Reason Not to Travel

I’ll file this one under Punxsutawney TPOL, the directory of trips I say I’ll take but do not because of COVID. The latest in the world of imaginary adventures includes a gorilla trekking safari in the DRC. While watching a game between Chelsea and Arsenal, I saw the advertisement that said ‘Rwanda Is Open.’ As the game was played at Emirates Stadium, my mind also started to contemplate the possibilities of where I could go in Africa by routing through the Middle East. Due to the value of AA points, I would not be routing through Dubai but would go through Doha on Qatar, a business class product that I have not flown since The $77,000 Trip Heard Round the World.

I went to BA’s website and could not believe the availability to Doha and beyond in business. I went to Kayak’s COVID website and saw that it was manageable to go to DRC, Rwanda, and Uganda. Then I went to visit.virunga.org and saw how easy it was to book a package (contrast How to Book a Trip to Bhutan). Like Bhutan, obtaining a visa, a persistent problem for me (see Visas), is also arranged through the outfitter.

All set for an impulse buy, I almost put the itinerary on hold, an admittedly bold move. Then I started reading about the COVID protocols for Virunga. Namely, if someone tests positive for COVID he/she will not be able to go on the trek. This reminded me of my Malaria/food poisoning incident in Maasa Mara (see Malaria Or Food Poisoning? Day 2 Safari Ruined). Frozen again, I closed Internet Explorer and went back to the Stone Age of accepting that TPOL’s adventures are on hold forever.

This morning I awoke to an email from Visit Virugna outlining the details of the itinerary. At a cost of $2000, it includes a gorilla trek and an overnight hike up Nyiragongo Volcano. Maybe I should risk it. At this point, I know nothing except that I still have my sense of adventure and that I am happy to have done so much before this damn virus upended my lifestyle (see 11 Reasons Why I Still Don’t Want to Travel).

Preemptory Response to Annoying Comments: For those that have left their basement during COVID, don’t tell me your trip to Croatia and Tulum count as travel and that COVID requirements aren’t a big deal. That is not travel. That is child’s play.

a man standing on a bridge
On top of the world in Bhutan

Booked! Michigan v. Wisconsin

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Booked! Michigan v. Wisconsin

I refuse to change my travel style (see ThePointsOfLife Travel Philosophy) because of COVID. If that means I have to stay home, then I will stay home (see 11 Reasons Why I Still Don’t Want to Travel). Traveling domestically just to get off the island is not my idea of a good time. That does not include seeing my feckless Wolverines. This year I am going to Madison, Wisconsin to lose again. The last time the Wolverines played the Badgers I was streaming it on an epically terrible ride back to Kathmandu (see OMAAT: The Hell Journey from Chitwan to Kathmandu). This time I can witness the misery in person. Nothing is more fun than going to the enemy’s den for a game of pigskin, even if our leader has lost all his swag (see Meyer Quits: Michigan Should Fire Harbaugh, written in 2018).

a television screen with a group of people on it
Remember this interception machine? (streamed off of Blackberry)

 

Blind Taste Tasting @ NZ’s Oldest Riverside Tavern

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Blind Taste Tasting @ NZ’s Oldest Riverside Tavern

Beer Tasting is part of the Tahiti Triumph Trip Report. It covers the following cities:

See the Picture Preview here and see how this $60,000 trip cost $1999 here. Be sure to check out TPOL’s Map, the best feature of the blog.

Do you fancy yourself a beer drinker? Can you differentiate among different beers? I certainly cannot and still don’t know the difference between a lager and a pilsner. To be sure, I can pick out a gross IPA and can feel the thickness of a stout, but that’s about the extent of my capabilities. Unless it’s something obvious like a hefeweizen or Dunkel Weizen, chances are I will not get it right. This was confirmed during my blind tasting tour at The Riverhead, New Zealand’s Oldest Riverside Tavern (an interesting claim to fame).

a sign with a bar and umbrellas

The Brewery 

a table with a row of silver tanks and bottles a group of metal containers and glasses on a shelf a row of beer taps in a bar

The Hoppiness 

a paper with a drawing of people on it

a row of glasses of beer on a table
The beers were served and the tasting began.
a group of glasses of beer on a table
I got one right.

The Food

Beer snobs can look down on me for that showing, but I found real hoppiness in the food.

a plate of food and glasses of beer on a table a bucket of fried fooda bowl of nachos with chili and jalapenos a plate of food on a table

Overall

I am a pro when it comes to wine tasting (see Waimauku: Wine Tasting in Auckland), but beer? Not so much.

 

Approved! Amex Business Platinum

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Approved! Amex Business Platinum

The good news is that I’m going to have more money than Davy Crockett. The bad news is that I’m going to have a minimum spend problem after adopting four new children: the Amex Business Platinum and Amex Business Gold for myself (see Amex Business Gold Offer Under ‘Investigation’) and for Ms. TPOL. If I pull it off, my MR balance will exceed 700k. I can only imagine what others have managed to amass during this MR giveaway. This still doesn’t resolve the issue that I have all these points and nowhere to go (see 11 Reasons Why I Still Don’t Want to Travel).

a screenshot of a credit card
Preserve the screenshot in case the offer magically disappears like the Gold one.

 

First Class Queen: Come on Down!

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First Class Queen: Come on Down!

It seemed inevitable that the winner of the one-way flight to PR would be the spouse of a long-time reader, Gene. I first met FCQ (follow him on IG here) at the Freddies in April 2016 and have seen him at every Freddies since. The real question is not whether he can beat me in golf, but whether he will fly coach to get here. He has until the end of December to make it happen.

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