back to top
Sunday, July 21, 2024
HomeColombiaBogotaJW Marriott Bogota: My Father Would Stay Here

JW Marriott Bogota: My Father Would Stay Here

JW Marriott Bogota Hotel Review is part of the Punxsutawney TPOL Trip Report, where TPOL leaves the basement. It’s finally happening despite inconsistent policies, interruptions, and human stupidity as explained in these posts:


Getting There: Uber is technically illegal at Colombian airports but there is a workaround (see Uber Is Illegal in Colombian Airports, Unless Your Brother Is Picking You Up).


When SPG ruined our lives and was acquired by Marriott (see Read My Lips, “No Devaluation,” Says Marriott CEO), I knew the party was over. The reason: JW Marriott.

My only other stay at a JW was at the JW Scottsdale, a lovely hotel with a must-lazy river, a beautiful golf course, and lovely scenery. Despite being upscale, it lacked energy. It was nice version of Mr. Peterschmidt’s house.

The JW Bogota was the same, dull and unwelcoming.a building with trees and cars on the side a stone ball in front of a building a building with a sign on the front

Checking In

Blame the useless Covid plexiglass that is more appropriate for a Flint liquor store than an upscale hotel, but I did not feel love when checking in. No mention was made about my titanium super duper platinum elite status. No mention was made of the resort’s great spa or the time and location of breakfast. All I was told was that I could have a total of 2 alcoholic drinks each night in the lounge.a table with flowers in it a staircase in a building a hallway with a marble floor and chairs a room with chairs and a television

Late Check-Out? Covid Test?

One day I will look back at this post and either find that it was ridiculous that in-room covid testing was an amenity, or it will be so commonplace that the welcome gift will be a complimentary test. Since I was leaving at noon, I declined the late checkout and booked a covid test for the following afternoon (see Room Service: I’m Here with Your Covid Test).a person in a blue uniform sitting in a chair in a living room

Welcome Amenity

Half a bottle of wine and a huge assortment of cheeses made me half-forget the cold treatment at check-in.a tray with food and wine on it

Suite

Back to Mr. Peterschmidt’s house. I used a suite upgrade and always regret doing so. The suite was uninspired. It is intended for a prototypical business traveler, a dinosaur that does not exist. Does anyone make use of the desk? I certainly do not.a living room with a couch and chairsa living room with a television and chairsa table and chairs in a room

Bedroom Curtains

As Peter would say, “You know what grinds my gears?” Let me tell you: blackout curtains that are not long enough. There was either a gap in the middle of the curtains or at the end.

a view from a high rise building
What a view

Room

After the friend’s house in Medellin (see Hostel v. Hotel v. Friend’s Home), a king-size bed with a bunch of pillows, a big blanket, and crisp sheets was in order.a bed with pillows on it a tv on a stand in a room

Bathroom

Hostel or a friend’s home may be fine for a few nights, but an infinity shower with the little soaps is required to properly refresh.a bathroom with a large mirror a bathtub in a bathroom a shower with a shower head and a shelfa group of water bottles and glasses on a countera wooden tray with a group of toiletries and towels a white boxes on a marble surface

Executive Lounge

  • Positive

Plenty of space

a tv on the wall

Unlimited Gatoradea group of bottles of orange and red liquid

Nice food spreada buffet with drinks and food on it

Negative

2 drink max

a glass with ice and lemon in it
Well liquor

Food was not as appetizing as the presentation.
a plate of food on a table a plate of food with a small sandwich and guacamole a burrito in a glass of water

Breakfast

I was underwhelmed by the breakfast. I did not go for a second round and barely finished the first. It was basic western fare. Where was the Colombian cuisine?a plate of food on a table a plate of food on a white plate

Spa

After a night out in this crazy town (see Bogota, a Party City? Who Knew?), I went down to the basement of the hotel for a tranquil time at the spa, by far the best feature of the hotel. a swimming pool inside a building a pool with water in it a indoor jacuzzi with a ladder a hot tub in a room a swimming pool inside a building a swimming pool inside a building a pool inside a building

Overall

The painting of JW himself on the wall of every JW summarizes the brand. It’s boring and rigid while trying to come off as proper and dignified. Somewhere between the fakeness of the W brand and the pretentiousness of the JW is where I would like to stay. Back to the Aloft Bangkok!

RELATED ARTICLES

13 COMMENTS

  1. Hmm…I don’t know… Looks pretty darn nice to me and the executive lounge looked pretty sweet. But definitely not a warm and fuzzy feel to the room. But….WTH? 2 drink max? Never heard of such a thing. Hope it was unlimited beer and wine

Leave a Reply

BoardingArea