Guns & Butter: Madrid Travel Guide

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Madrid Travel Guide is part of the Round The Atlantic Trip Report.


TPOL’s Guns & Butter Travel Guide is the best way to see as much as you can in as little time as possible. Here’s how it works: A trip is composed of two factors: Labor And Lazy. The opportunity cost (what is given up) for relaxing and being Lazy is gained by being adventurous in the form of Labor and vice versa. The guide includes inefficient activities i.e., tourist traps that should be avoided and aspirational activities that are worth doing but may be impossible to see given the constraints of time and resources.

You can see all the other Travel Guides here.


Ah Madrid, once home to Ronaldo, but still home to a damn good time, even if you only have two nights (see Flying Business or First? Don’t Rage the Night Before). While this guide won’t be as lengthy as the others, given my brief stay in this energetic city, it should be enough to get you going. When I return to Madrid, I’ll update it accordingly. Tranquilo.

What Not To Do

  • Listen to what people tell you to do.

Por ejemplo, I went to Tigre for some tapas. Notably, I called the post Tourist Tapas in Madrid. And because people like to criticize without reading, I was criticized for going to a place where “locals never go.” I’m pretty sure there was at least one person from Madrid in there. This competition of who gets the most authentic experience and the need to fall off the main road onto the unbeaten path is overrated. Sometimes tourist places are fun. And in Madrid there are plenty of them.

  • Sleep

There’s too much to do and see but if you’re looking for somewhere to sleep, consider the AC Hotels (see AC Hotel Avenida de America Madrid: Free Mini Bar! and AC Atocha Madrid: Shower Time).

What To Do

In keeping with what I wrote above, formulate your own opinion on whether this is a sport or savage.

So much delicious food, so many tapas, so little time for my stomach to make room.

So many bars, so many clubs, so little time for my liver to catch up.

What to Do Next Time

Go back! That’s the best advice I can give. I will return and explore more. Travel is not about saying you went to a specific restaurant, an acclaimed bar, or a trendy neighborhood. It’s about going and seeing what trouble can be found and finding the energy of the city.


Madrid Travel Guide is part of the Round The Atlantic Trip Report.

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