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Tuesday, July 16, 2024
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Scottsdale Continental Golf Club: Baller on a Budget

The Scottsdale Golf Continental Golf Club Review is part of the Trip Report: The Greatest Diamond Challenge of All Time. Check out how I planned my Hyatt Diamond Challenge and how it cost next to nothing here.

In this report, I will cover:

Scottsdale: home to fun, sun, and golf. It is also home to one of the wackiest golf courses around. The 18 hole Scottsdale Continental Golf Club is located right near my place in Old Town. I had driven by it many times but until this year TPOL was not a golfer.

The course is a sprint of par 3’s and an obstacle course that pits golfer vs. other golfer vs. dogs vs. runners. vs. traffic vs. the driving range.

Golfer vs. Golfer 

“Can I play through?” As a novice, I used to be inclined to say yes. I actually preferred that someone would pass me so I wouldn’t have the stress of knowing I was being tailed. I soon realized that most people are also terrible at golf and letting someone play through means you will end up stuck behind them. Since this course is so short, people weren’t even asking to play through. They would just fly by on their golf cart and wave their hand. Then they’d shank their tee shot and yours truly would be back there wondering what school of etiquette they went to. Mind you, it’s all in good fun.

Golfer vs. Dogs

Around the course there is a walking trail occupied by dogs on and off leashes. I thought I hit a pretty good tee shot and couldn’t find my ball. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a dog with a golf ball in his mouth. I’m going to say he made off with my ball.

Golfer vs. Runners

If the dogs don’t steal your ball, that doesn’t mean you are out of the woods. There are plenty of runners jogging along the path and the only thing separating them from a shot to the head is a warning sign advising golfers that they are liable for injury to pedestrians. Good grief, now you want me to tee off?

Golfer vs. Traffic 

The course is right in Old Town and is surrounded by busy streets. While there is an underpass to go from the front to back nine, you get the feeling that you are playing golf on the 405.

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Golfer vs. Driver Range 

This isn’t what you think. You’re not challenging your skills against the driving range. Instead, you are chancing your luck that you don’t get hit by a ball hit off the driving range. The range backs up into the second hole and is adjacent to another. Not only are balls flying like at you like Katyusha rockets but when they do land nobody bothers to clean them up. As a result, you may lose your ball among the practice ones that litter the course.

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A rare par 4 (next to the driving range)

The Breakdown

Cost: $10, best deal in town + 1 free domestic.

Beer: $5/each

Cart: Old school motor

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Ball Loss: See Worst Hole, see driving range confusion above.

Score: More or less over par.

Favorite Hole: Any par 3 where my ball made the sweet sound of getting up on the green.

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The fifth was good. On the right you had the drivers driving at you. In front you had traffic and the smell of chicken McNuggets cascading down upon you.

Worst Hole: 18 where I hit it into the water over and over again like Tin Cup.

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Finally got over the pond where the ducks and I searched for balls together.

What Makes It Unique: Playing par 3 after par 3 may sound like fun but it’s very challenging to be on your swing each time you tee off. Unlike a long par 5 there is no room for a mistake.

Sweet glory on the green
Sweet glory on the green

Conclusion: I think I’d return for the comedy but this experience was more clown car spectacle and less golf.

TPOL Grade: 1.5/5 Tees

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The only ones on the course with manners

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