United Polaris Newark-Brussels Review is part of the ANA, Take Me ‘Round the World Trip Report.
When I booked my ANA RTW ticket for 22k miles in business for only 125k MRs, I searched hard for Polaris availability. Be careful what you search for, you will get it (see Award Booking OCD = Fortnite Addiction).
Before I get into the horror movie that literally and figuratively is this flight, let me talk about the fun twist on the amenities kit. Instead of the typical airline brand kit, United partnered with the new Spider-Man movie to produce this superhero tribute.
I scanned the IFE selection after drinking the subpar champagne. It is foreshadowing that the movie I selected, Us, would mirror my flight experience.
I don’t expect US carriers to carry premium champagne, but is it too much to ask for proper cups?
I can’t complain about the lie flat seat or about the pillows, especially the blue one which reminds me of my $200 Tempur-Pedic at home. What I will complain about is how many damn passengers there were in business and, as a result, the rushed service.
I will also complain about having a window seat where I’m not facing the window and the lamp that blocked it.
There was not a wine list, and the flight attendant did not know what kind of wine they offered. I knew I was in trouble when the choices were white or red. I made the wrong choice with whatever red I selected.
Quiet, Too Quiet
As the drama of this scary movie built, the cabin remained eerily quiet. It is impressive how quiet the 787 is compared to Airbus (see JAL 787 Dreamliner: An American Marvel: SAN-NRT).
The first scary scene was the appetizer. Like the Polaris lounge, United was trying to be too creative with their food. What is pomegranate acai vinaigrette? What happened to ranch (see I Found Hidden Valley)?
The blood and gore of the film wasn’t why I lost my appetite. It was the disgusting risotto and salmon combination.
The crescendo of terror was the dessert. I didn’t dare order the sundae after seeing what my neighbor received. It was a slaughtered mess of ice cream and whip cream.
In terms of lie-flat, long-haul flights, this was the worst I have taken. The seat itself was fine, but everything else was a horror show. The service, the food, and the drinks were all bad. Like the movie, I was left trying to figure out what the hell just happened. Does the son know?
If you enjoyed United Polaris Newark Brussels Review read the entire ANA, Take Me ‘Round the World Trip Report.