Why would you get on a plane for 4 hours, drop your bag at the hotel and hunt down a UK pub and stay there the whole time? Eat the same garbage pub food you eat at home? And drink the same beer you get at home? Watch football on the TV in a pub in Spain? What’s the point? If the UK weather was good, they’d stay home and get smashed.
Those are the words of a famous Scotsman when I told him I was going to Playa de Las Americas, Tenerife’s party spot.
After two nights in Playa de Las Americas, I retreated back to the Ritz with those same questions (see Ritz Carlton Tenerife: We’ll Make It Better, The Second Time Around).
While I can’t be bothered to question why people travel, I can say that my idea of a fun holiday is not to be surrounded by the same people from home, doing the same things I do at home. The lack of creativity or diversity made Playa de Las Americas bland. It was nothing but store after store of doner kebab followed by pub after pub. Between those were 24/7 supermarkets selling shot after shot. While it’s better than Corfu for the atmosphere, it’s not that much better (see Make Corfu Greek Again! How Tourism Ruined an Island). And despite my Iraqi heritage, I would take gyros over doner every time.
Same damn setup in every tourist destination.Same damn setup in every tourist destination. Worth repeating.Same damn setup in every tourist destination. Worth repeating again.Accommodations
I have written many times about hostel vs. hotel (see Ayia Napa, Cyprus: Hotel vs. Hostel, Hostel v. Hotel v. Friend’s Home, Frontier Hotel Darwin: My Case for Hostels). Try as I might, I can’t bring myself to pay cash for non-brand hotels. $250 a night for a run-down hotel with no status is not appealing. Concurrently, paying $100 a night while I am gone for weeks on end isn’t a bargain. In Playa de las Americas, there weren’t any American brands i.e., no points options. Sorting by price and location, I booked a room for two nights at the Servatur Caribe for 85 euros a night. Imagine my shock when I checked in and found out there was no air conditioning. Imagine my annoyance when the 1 bedroom ‘suite’ only had Wi-Fi functioning in the living room. In fact, the Wi-Fi worked better at the pool than in the room.I’m here for the Wi-Fi.
The AC issue and party issue do not go hand in hand. After drinking Guinness with my Irish mates and singing folk songs with my UK friends, the last thing I wanted to do was come back to a room with no AC and no ceiling fan. Two nights of night sweats and alcohol withdrawals were enough for me.
Oh goodness, no AC with GuinnessGaelic CornerTPOL’s Tip: Gaelic Corner is actually worth visiting. It is located at Av. Rafael Puig Lluvina, 16, 38650 Arona, Santa Cruz de Tenerife, Spain.
The Beach
Playa de what? There’s no beach here. Only rocks. But for my beach gym, I would have never gone.Important to hydrate post gymHard Rock?
Desperately trying to ‘make party,’ I considered booking a room at the Hard Rock for $300 for my last night in Tenerife. I thought there might be a good pool party during the day and nice air conditioning at night. I jumped in a taxi which is cheaper than Uber (see Tenerife: Take a Taxi Over Uber) to see for myself. The hotel was nice but the vibe felt manufactured. The 20 euro ride each way saved me from the disappointment of trying to find something that was not meant to be.Tandoori Nights
Tenerife might not have good nightlife, but it does have great Indian food. Since I gave up on the party scene, I did the next best thing. I feasted on Indian food. Vindaloo lamb, vegetable biryani, and a bottle of sauvignon blanc was better than any mix a DJ could put together.TPOL’s Tip: The location is Av. Adeje 300, 38678 Adeje, Santa Cruz de Tenerife, Spain.
Overall
I came to the Canary Islands because the name itself is endearing. I also came for the vanity of adding another ‘country’ to my list (see Is Hawaii a Country?). I thought that Playa de Las Americas was going to be a unique party place. It was not. But for the Ritz Carlton, I would say that Tenerife was underwhelming.
Getting There
I took a taxi from the Tenerife South airport (see Tenerife: Take a Taxi Over Uber). It cost 50 euros. I am glad I discovered I didn’t fly into Tenerife North as the taxi price would have been more than double (see Not My Fault: Tenerife Airport, North Or South?).
I like a soft landing after landing in a new country. What’s softer than the pillows at a Ritz? After being lazy in the Iberia domestic lounge (see En Route: Iberia’s Domestic Lounge Madrid) and a flight I do not recall to Tenerife South (see Iberia Business: Madrid to Tenerife), I arrived at the Ritz Carlton Tenerife, eager to get this Still The Best Trip rolling.
Location
The hotel is an isolated oasis, far from the hustle and bustle of Playa de Las Americas. But that’s the point (see Playa de Las Americas, Tenerife: Well That Sucked).
Golf
The Abama golf course is beautiful. But a 200 euro solo round before rentals in the oppressive heat is not my idea of a good time. Property
It felt like I was in Morocco. Welcome Drink
Cuidado! When the front desk told me I could have a welcome drink at the main bar, she only said it could be an alcoholic or nonalcoholic drink. I thought that I could pick any drink from the menu. For a 15-euro caipirinha, I realized I was wrong. The welcome drink is a premix of OJ and something.
My welcome drinkTheir welcome drinkMichelin Sushi
My friend recommended trying the Michelin-starred sushi restaurant. He said it rivaled Japan. Since it was the beginning of my trip and since I didn’t come to the Canary Islands to eat sushi, I passed.
Room
I had a junior suite. Junior is an understatement. It was huge.Patio(s)
There were two different entrances for the main patio.
There was a private entrance for the patio off the master.An espresso and a balcony, what more do I need?Bathroom
The shower was not a rain shower. It was retrofitted to be acceptable.Shower mehSoaps greatBreakfast
Following my welcome drink mishap, I called ahead to see if breakfast was included. It was. It was wise to ask because there was nothing impressive about the breakfast. The eggs were good but the spread was minimal.Beach
Living in Puerto Rico, I am spoiled by one of the world’s best beaches which is located right outside of my door. When you have such a nice beach at home, it’s hard to be impressed with other beaches.Natural IG photos.
While the beach was nothing special, I was impressed with the transport from the Ritz to the beach. At home, I have my golf cart. Here, there was a train.I didn’t take the train back.Vino
“Oh, you have a water? That’s six euros,” was a comment an Italian tourist told me as I sat in the restaurant near the beach. As you can imagine, everything in the orbit of the Ritz is pricey. I lucked out by having free water in my room. My money was spent on a reasonably priced bottle of wine for 30 euros.Overall
I used a stay cert valued at 40k points to stay at the Ritz Carlton Tenerife. The room retails for 300 euros. While it isn’t the best redemption (see Marriott Stay Certs: Let Me Warn Or Remind You Again), it was the perfect soft landing.
Round 2
After a terrible time in Playa de Las Americas, I sprinted back to the Ritz Carlton Tenerife. I burned another 35k stay-cert. The second time was much better. Here’s why:
Alcohol
Forget the welcome drink. I brought my own beer and wine.
Who needs a suite?
I’ll take a view over a suite any day. The rain shower was also better in the standard room.
Michelin Sushi
On this stay, I decided to try the sushi. Read this post to find out if a $375 dinner for one was worth it.
Overall Again
I will not be returning to Tenerife (see Guns & Butter: Tenerife Travel Guide). If you do go, go to the Ritz Carlton and stay put.
This mistake is going on the Travel Lessons page. When planning my spectacular Still The Best Trip (see How to Book the Best Itinerary: AA, Avios, Aeroplan, Miles & Smiles, Flying Blue, LifeMiles, Capital One), I did not book many hotels in advance. One hotel that I did book ahead of time was the Ritz CarltonTenerife (see Ritz Carlton Tenerife: We’ll Make It Better, The Second Time Around). The hotel retails at $354 a night. On the day I arrived, the price in points was 44k. While I would not use my precious Marriott Bonvoy points on such a redemption, I have no issue burning expiring stay certs. The mistake is that I used my 40k Titanium Elite stay cert instead of my 35k Amex stay cert to make the reservation. Why was this a mistake? Because Marriott now allows reservations that combine a stay cert with up to 15k Bonvoy points. The best use would have been for a hotel that goes for 55k points a night. Although I knew that Marriott would, ‘for my convenience’ at checkout show the 40k stay cert first, I didn’t X out of the transaction and switch my method of payment to a 35k cert. I was reminded of the error of my ways when later on in my trip I tried to book the Ritz Carlton in Riyadh. Cheeky Marriott required 52k points for that stay, rendering my 35k stay cert useless.
TPOL’s TIP: Let me warn or remind you again, don’t use your high-value stay cert when a low-value one will do.
The view would have been the same with a 35k. (Incidentally, this was the view from the second time I stayed at the Ritz for 35k points. Incidentally, the view the second time around was better than my 40k first visit.)
Troll preemption: If this is your first time reading the blog, realize that this post is part of a Trip Report where each leg, no matter how insignificant, is documented as part of a story.
I remain convinced that the signs in Madrid airport are meant to confuse passengers (see Connecting in Madrid? Pack Extra Time & Connecting in Madrid: Pack Extra Time Part II). I went in circles trying to find the Iberia Dali Lounge.
When I finally found it, I was impressed with its size and what it offered given that it services domestic flights. Seating
Like Iberia’s international business class lounge (see Iberia Velázquez Premium Lounge: Good, Not Great), I found my favorite red chair. It’s private and comfortable. I was able to catch up on my sleep after too much vino on my flight over (see Iberia San Juan to Madrid: Una Vez Mas).
There are plenty of other places to sit including the bar area. Bar
I had enough Rioja on the flight and did not want any beer. I tried to have Cavas but ended up settling on bottled Coke Zero. Food
The breakfast was lighter than what was offered in the business class lounge. I was disappointed that there was no Tortilla de patatas. At any other hour, this would’ve been a gold mine.Overall
This was a nice place to relax and refuel before my flight to Tenerife.
It is remarkable that in only 8 hours, I can go from a tiny island back to my inaugural residency, Madrid (see TPOL in Madrid: Why A Second Residency?).
The flight went as follows:
Boarding
For some reason, I did not have a seat assignment. My ticket read ‘Zone 4’ boarding. At the gate, I began to worry and wonder what happens if business was full and they put me back in coach? Could this be another trip that starts off on the wrong foot (see Booking Bangkok After Vietnam Failure)?
It did not. I was in 1J.
Pre-Boarding Champagne
There was no pre-flight champagne. There was only agua or orange juice.
It could be worse, I could be flying Frontier (see Not Breaking News: Frontier Airlines Sucks).Coming to America
I am not one for movies on a plane. Usually, I am blog writing or sleeping. However, I could not pass up on my favorite movie of all time. Rioja
The wine finally appeared along with a mozzarella and tomato plate. Dinner
I ordered the steak and mashed potatoes. It was edible but not spectacular. Too Much Rioja?
I unnecessarily went through a full bottle of wine. I say unnecessarily because there is no reason to start a trip groggy or worse, hungover. This is especially true for short long-haul flights.
Probably no reason for cheese either.Dessert
I ordered a Puerto Rican favorite, tres leches before falling asleep. Sleep
I missed breakfast and woke up as we were landing in Madrid.
Overall
Iberia is consistently great and convenient.
Don’t Come to Puerto Rico (To Party)Rights were taken away during Covid. This became the new normal. What’s next? No dancing? I wouldn’t rule that out.
Keep vs. Cancel (Proactive Edition): Capital One Venture XI received my Capital One Venture X card two months ago in June. So why am I writing a Keep vs. Cancel post already? Because, barring a ‘card enhancement,’ there is no way I’m going to cancel this card.