Playa de Las Americas, Tenerife: Well That Sucked

Playa de Las Americas is part of the Still The Best Trip Report.


Why would you get on a plane for 4 hours, drop your bag at the hotel and hunt down a UK pub and stay there the whole time? Eat the same garbage pub food you eat at home? And drink the same beer you get at home? Watch football on the TV in a pub in Spain? What’s the point? If the UK weather was good, they’d stay home and get smashed. Those are the words of a famous Scotsman when I told him I was going to Playa de Las Americas, Tenerife’s party spot. After two nights in Playa de Las Americas, I retreated back to the Ritz with those same questions (see Ritz Carlton Tenerife: We’ll Make It Better, The Second Time Around). While I can’t be bothered to question why people travel, I can say that my idea of a fun holiday is not to be surrounded by the same people from home, doing the same things I do at home. The lack of creativity or diversity made Playa de Las Americas bland. It was nothing but store after store of doner kebab followed by pub after pub. Between those were 24/7 supermarkets selling shot after shot. While it’s better than Corfu for the atmosphere, it’s not that much better (see Make Corfu Greek Again! How Tourism Ruined an Island).  And despite my Iraqi heritage, I would take gyros over doner every time.
a group of people outside of a building with neon signs
Same damn setup in every tourist destination.
a building with a sign and people outside
Same damn setup in every tourist destination. Worth repeating.
a man cooking in a kitchen
Same damn setup in every tourist destination. Worth repeating again.
Accommodations I have written many times about hostel vs. hotel (see Ayia Napa, Cyprus: Hotel vs. Hostel, Hostel v. Hotel v. Friend’s Home, Frontier Hotel Darwin: My Case for Hostels). Try as I might, I can’t bring myself to pay cash for non-brand hotels. $250 a night for a run-down hotel with no status is not appealing. Concurrently, paying $100 a night while I am gone for weeks on end isn’t a bargain. In Playa de las Americas, there weren’t any American brands i.e., no points options. Sorting by price and location, I booked a room for two nights at the Servatur Caribe for 85 euros a night. Imagine my shock when I checked in and found out there was no air conditioning. Imagine my annoyance when the 1 bedroom ‘suite’ only had Wi-Fi functioning in the living room. In fact, the Wi-Fi worked better at the pool than in the room.a swimming pool and a building
a pool with people in the background
I’m here for the Wi-Fi.
The AC issue and party issue do not go hand in hand. After drinking Guinness with my Irish mates and singing folk songs with my UK friends, the last thing I wanted to do was come back to a room with no AC and no ceiling fan. Two nights of night sweats and alcohol withdrawals were enough for me.
a glass of beer on a bar
Oh goodness, no AC with Guinness
a group of people in a bar
Gaelic Corner
TPOL’s Tip: Gaelic Corner is actually worth visiting. It is located at Av. Rafael Puig Lluvina, 16, 38650 Arona, Santa Cruz de Tenerife, Spain. The Beach Playa de what? There’s no beach here.  Only rocks. But for my beach gym, I would have never gone.a beach with palm trees and people on the beach a sign on a beach
a cup of beer and a bottle of liquid on a table
Important to hydrate post gym
Hard Rock? Desperately trying to ‘make party,’ I considered booking a room at the Hard Rock for $300 for my last night in Tenerife. I thought there might be a good pool party during the day and nice air conditioning at night. I jumped in a taxi which is cheaper than Uber (see Tenerife: Take a Taxi Over Uber) to see for myself. The hotel was nice but the vibe felt manufactured. The 20 euro ride each way saved me from the disappointment of trying to find something that was not meant to be.a rock sculpture in a courtyard Tandoori Nights Tenerife might not have good nightlife, but it does have great Indian food. Since I gave up on the party scene, I did the next best thing. I feasted on Indian food. Vindaloo lamb, vegetable biryani, and a bottle of sauvignon blanc was better than any mix a DJ could put together.a table with plates of food and glasses of wine a pizza with green light a bowl of soup with white liquid and green leaves a plate of rice and vegetables a bowl of food with green leaves TPOL’s Tip: The location is Av. Adeje 300, 38678 Adeje, Santa Cruz de Tenerife, Spain. a screenshot of a food search Overall I came to the Canary Islands because the name itself is endearing. I also came for the vanity of adding another ‘country’ to my list (see Is Hawaii a Country?). I thought that Playa de Las Americas was going to be a unique party place. It was not. But for the Ritz Carlton, I would say that Tenerife was underwhelming.

Tenerife: Take a Taxi Over Uber

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Take a Taxi Over Uber is part of the Still The Best Trip Report.


Can you believe that hailing a taxi off the street is a better way to get around Tenerife than Uber? A taxi from the airport to the Ritz Carlton was 50 euros (see Ritz Carlton Tenerife: We’ll Make It Better, The Second Time Around). A taxi from the Ritz to Playa de las Americas was 32 euros (see Playa de Las Americas, Tenerife: Well That Sucked). That rate was more than double with Uber. This aberration will not have me second-guessing rideshares over taxis. I have been screwed enough times to believe they’ve grown an international conscience (see “Taxi my friend?” The Worst Places to Hail a Cab). But, if you happen to be in Tenerife, I suggest comparing prices before automatically opting for Uber. a person using a phone to check the driver's information

Ritz Carlton Tenerife: We’ll Make It Better, The Second Time Around

Ritz Carlton Tenerife Hotel Review is part of the Still The Best Trip Report.


Getting There I took a taxi from the Tenerife South airport (see Tenerife: Take a Taxi Over Uber). It cost 50 euros. I am glad I discovered I didn’t fly into Tenerife North as the taxi price would have been more than double (see Not My Fault: Tenerife Airport, North Or South?).
I like a soft landing after landing in a new country. What’s softer than the pillows at a Ritz? After being lazy in the Iberia domestic lounge (see En Route: Iberia’s Domestic Lounge Madrid) and a flight I do not recall to Tenerife South (see Iberia Business: Madrid to Tenerife), I arrived at the Ritz Carlton Tenerife, eager to get this Still The Best Trip rolling. Location The hotel is an isolated oasis, far from the hustle and bustle of Playa de Las Americas. But that’s the point (see Playa de Las Americas, Tenerife: Well That Sucked). a sign on a wall Golf The Abama golf course is beautiful. But a 200 euro solo round before rentals in the oppressive heat is not my idea of a good time. a golf course with a pond and palm trees Property It felt like I was in Moroccoa building with a pool and plants a building with a pool and a pond a pool with palm trees in the background a pool with umbrellas and chairs in front of a building a pool with umbrellas and chairs and palm treesa view of a tropical area with palm trees and buildings a palm trees and buildings with the sun in the background Welcome Drink Cuidado! When the front desk told me I could have a welcome drink at the main bar, she only said it could be an alcoholic or nonalcoholic drink. I thought that I could pick any drink from the menu. For a 15-euro caipirinha, I realized I was wrong. The welcome drink is a premix of OJ and something.
a glass with ice and lime on a napkin
My welcome drink
a glass of orange juice on a golf course
Their welcome drink
Michelin Sushi My friend recommended trying the Michelin-starred sushi restaurant. He said it rivaled Japan. Since it was the beginning of my trip and since I didn’t come to the Canary Islands to eat sushi, I passed. Room I had a junior suite. Junior is an understatement. It was huge.a long hallway with art on the walls a room with a round table and chairs a living room with a couch and a television a living room with a couch and a coffee table a couches in a room a room with a couch and a bed a bed with a four poster bed Patio(s) There were two different entrances for the main patio.a glass coffee table with a plant on ita patio with chairs and a building in the background a group of chairs on a patio a patio with chairs and a table There was a private entrance for the patio off the master.a balcony with a table and chairs a patio with chairs and a tablea pool in a building
a coffee machine and cups on a tray
An espresso and a balcony, what more do I need?
Bathroom The shower was not a rain shower. It was retrofitted to be acceptable.a hallway with a mirror and wooden cabinets a bathroom with a large mirror and a tub a bathtub in a bathroomtwo blue glasses on a plate a tray of toiletries and a bottle
a shower with a faucet and a shelf
Shower meh
a group of tubes of cream on a metal shelf
Soaps great
Breakfast Following my welcome drink mishap, I called ahead to see if breakfast was included. It was. It was wise to ask because there was nothing impressive about the breakfast. The eggs were good but the spread was minimal.a plate of food on a table Beach Living in Puerto Rico, I am spoiled by one of the world’s best beaches which is located right outside of my door. When you have such a nice beach at home, it’s hard to be impressed with other beaches.a beach with chairs and umbrellas a body of water with rocks and a fence on the side a beach with a rock wall and water a beach with rocks and watera rocky shore with a body of waterpeople on a beach
a group of people on a beach
Natural IG photos.
While the beach was nothing special, I was impressed with the transport from the Ritz to the beach. At home, I have my golf cart. Here, there was a train.a sign with a map and a car parked in the background a train with people on it
a rail going up a hill
I didn’t take the train back.
a beach and buildings on a cliff Vino “Oh, you have a water? That’s six euros,” was a comment an Italian tourist told me as I sat in the restaurant near the beach. As you can imagine, everything in the orbit of the Ritz is pricey. I lucked out by having free water in my room. My money was spent on a reasonably priced bottle of wine for 30 euros.a glass bottle on a table a carton of juice on a rocky beach Overall I used a stay cert valued at 40k points to stay at the Ritz Carlton Tenerife. The room retails for 300 euros. While it isn’t the best redemption (see Marriott Stay Certs: Let Me Warn Or Remind You Again), it was the perfect soft landing. Round 2 After a terrible time in Playa de Las Americas, I sprinted back to the Ritz Carlton Tenerife. I burned another 35k stay-cert. The second time was much better. Here’s why: Alcohol Forget the welcome drink. I brought my own beer and wine. a hand holding a can of beer a laptop and wine on a table Who needs a suite?  I’ll take a view over a suite any day. The rain shower was also better in the standard room. a room with a bed and a television a large building with a pool and plantsa building with palm trees and a body of water Michelin Sushi On this stay, I decided to try the sushi. Read this post to find out if a $375 dinner for one was worth it. a tray of different plates Overall Again I will not be returning to Tenerife (see Guns & Butter: Tenerife Travel Guide). If you do go, go to the Ritz Carlton and stay put.

Marriott Stay Certs: Let Me Warn Or Remind You Again

Marriott Stay Certs is part of the Still The Best Trip Report.


This mistake is going on the Travel Lessons page. When planning my spectacular Still The Best Trip (see How to Book the Best Itinerary: AA, Avios, Aeroplan, Miles & Smiles, Flying Blue, LifeMiles, Capital One), I did not book many hotels in advance. One hotel that I did book ahead of time was the Ritz Carlton Tenerife (see Ritz Carlton Tenerife: We’ll Make It Better, The Second Time Around). The hotel retails at $354 a night. On the day I arrived, the price in points was 44k. While I would not use my precious Marriott Bonvoy points on such a redemption, I have no issue burning expiring stay certs. The mistake is that I used my 40k Titanium Elite stay cert instead of my 35k Amex stay cert to make the reservation. Why was this a mistake? Because Marriott now allows reservations that combine a stay cert with up to 15k Bonvoy points. The best use would have been for a hotel that goes for 55k points a night. Although I knew that Marriott would, ‘for my convenience’ at checkout show the 40k stay cert first, I didn’t X out of the transaction and switch my method of payment to a 35k cert. I was reminded of the error of my ways when later on in my trip I tried to book the Ritz Carlton in Riyadh. Cheeky Marriott required 52k points for that stay, rendering my 35k stay cert useless. TPOL’s TIP: Let me warn or remind you again, don’t use your high-value stay cert when a low-value one will do.
a large building with a pool and plants
The view would have been the same with a 35k. (Incidentally, this was the view from the second time I stayed at the Ritz for 35k points. Incidentally, the view the second time around was better than my 40k first visit.)

Iberia Business: Madrid to Tenerife

Iberia Business Madrid to Tenerife is part of the Still The Best Trip Report.


Get ready for this review. After sleeping most of the time in the Iberia’s Dali lounge (see En Route: Iberia’s Domestic Lounge Madrid), I, hoping to skip jet lag, forced myself to sleep for the 2:55 journey from Madrid to Tenerife South (see Not My Fault: Tenerife Airport, North Or South?). Fortunately, I was seated right in the front of the a320. I woke up to peek at what my neighbor was eating. Then it was right back to sleep.
Tacking on this flight in business using Avios (see How to Book the Best Itinerary: AA, Avios, Aeroplan, Miles & Smiles, Flying Blue, LifeMiles, Capital One) was worth the points for the premium lounge access and slightly more comfortable business class seat. Other than that, there’s nothing much to report.
a seat in a plane
Troll preemption: If this is your first time reading the blog, realize that this post is part of a Trip Report where each leg, no matter how insignificant, is documented as part of a story.

En Route: Iberia’s Domestic Lounge Madrid

Iberia Business Class Lounge Madrid is part of the Still The Best Trip Report.


I remain convinced that the signs in Madrid airport are meant to confuse passengers (see Connecting in Madrid? Pack Extra Time & Connecting in Madrid: Pack Extra Time Part II). I went in circles trying to find the Iberia Dali Lounge. When I finally found it, I was impressed with its size and what it offered given that it services domestic flights. a sign on a glass wall Seating Like Iberia’s international business class lounge (see Iberia Velázquez Premium Lounge: Good, Not Great), I found my favorite red chair. It’s private and comfortable. I was able to catch up on my sleep after too much vino on my flight over (see Iberia San Juan to Madrid: Una Vez Mas). a red couch in a room There are plenty of other places to sit including the bar area. a group of tables in a room a room with tables and chairs Bar I had enough Rioja on the flight and did not want any beer. I tried to have Cavas but ended up settling on bottled Coke Zero. a refrigerator with drinks on shelves a display case with bottles of wine a group of bottles on a shelf a bottle of champagne in ice a group of bottles of soda on a shelf Food The breakfast was lighter than what was offered in the business class lounge. I was disappointed that there was no Tortilla de patatas. a food court with a large round object
a group of packages of chocolate bars in a freezer
At any other hour, this would’ve been a gold mine.
a plate of salad and a glass of juice Overall This was a nice place to relax and refuel before my flight to Tenerife.

Iberia San Juan to Madrid: Una Vez Mas

Iberia San Juan Madrid Business is part of the Still The Best Trip Report.
How many times have I flown Iberia business to or from Puerto Rico? Let me link the ways: It is remarkable that in only 8 hours, I can go from a tiny island back to my inaugural residency, Madrid (see TPOL in Madrid: Why A Second Residency?). The flight went as follows: Boarding For some reason, I did not have a seat assignment. My ticket read ‘Zone 4’ boarding. At the gate, I began to worry and wonder what happens if business was full and they put me back in coach? Could this be another trip that starts off on the wrong foot (see Booking Bangkok After Vietnam Failure)? It did not. I was in 1J. a screen on a wall a seat in an airplane Pre-Boarding Champagne There was no pre-flight champagne. There was only agua or orange juice. a glass of water on a napkin It could be worse, I could be flying Frontier (see Not Breaking News: Frontier Airlines Sucks).a plane on the tarmac Coming to America I am not one for movies on a plane. Usually, I am blog writing or sleeping. However, I could not pass up on my favorite movie of all time. a screen shot of a computer Rioja The wine finally appeared along with a mozzarella and tomato plate. a plate of food and a glass of wine Dinner I ordered the steak and mashed potatoes. It was edible but not spectacular. a plate of food and a glass of wine Too Much Rioja?  I unnecessarily went through a full bottle of wine. I say unnecessarily because there is no reason to start a trip groggy or worse, hungover. This is especially true for short long-haul flights.
a plate of cheese and grapes on a table with a glass of wine
Probably no reason for cheese either.
Dessert I ordered a Puerto Rican favorite, tres leches before falling asleep. a plate of dessert and a glass of wine Sleep I missed breakfast and woke up as we were landing in Madrid. Overall Iberia is consistently great and convenient.

TPOL’s Back!

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Good news: I am back. Bad news: I leave in a month. Let’s see how much I can do while I am here.

a man standing on a cliff
What have you been up to?

Simply The Best: August 2023

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I’m still running around but had the foresight to schedule this post before I left. Here are the posts from August, and by default, the best.

  1. How to Book the Best Itinerary: AA, Avios, Aeroplan, Miles & Smiles, Flying Blue, LifeMiles, Capital One
    a map of the world
    257,100 points and $1,162.08 versus $26,733. You decide.
  2. Can You Tell Me How to Get to Cabo Verde?
    a map of the ocean
    Instead of flying 2,588 miles, I only have to fly 982. Instead of paying $1,445, I am only paying $134.
  3. Don’t Come to Puerto Rico (To Party)
    a man wearing a face mask
    Rights were taken away during Covid. This became the new normal. What’s next? No dancing? I wouldn’t rule that out.
  4. AA Business Riyadh to San Juan Business: Big Deal, Small Deal, No Deal?
    a map of the world
    All of this was for 80k AA points and $90.
  5. Keep vs. Cancel (Proactive Edition): Capital One Venture X
    a map of the ocean
    I received my Capital One Venture X card two months ago in June. So why am I writing a Keep vs. Cancel post already? Because, barring a ‘card enhancement,’ there is no way I’m going to cancel this card.
  6. Breaking 90: Lessons Learned
    a screenshot of a social media account
    Saturday, I had my best round of golf. I shot a 93 from the blues.
  7. Approved! AA Citi Exec 100k
    a screenshot of a computer
    When will this game end? Never. I applied and was approved for the 100k Citi AA Executive card.

TPOL’s Out of the Office Until September

I was golfing in Puerto Rico, but now I’m on an adventure. Follow me on Instagram while I am gone.

a golf course with palm trees and a beach in the background