Before I travel, I am required to read my Travel Lessons so I don’t make the same mistakes I always make. I did so this time to my detriment. Let me explain:
Last time I arrived in JFK way too early from Puerto Rico, LOT told me they do not open the check-in counter until 4 hours before the scheduled departure (see JFK: Too Early to Check-In). Due to obscene prices from PR to JFK, I once again had to come early for my trip aboard the world’s longest flight, presented by Singapore Airlines (see World’s Longest & Best Flight: JFK-SIN). I checked SQ’s website to see when the gate would open. The website said three hours prior. I prepared myself in advance for the 13.5 hours I would spend in the terminal by loading up my work schedule.
Stop 1
I arrived at 10AM and went right to Dunkin’ Donuts. $3.58 later I had a large cup of black coffee. I was ready to get to work.
False start: My ambitious attitude was sidelined by JetBlue’s terribly slow Wifi.
TPOL runs on good Wi-Fi.Stop 2
The last time I had a long layover, a reader suggested I visit the TWA Hotel (see JFK: Too Early to Check-In). The last time I listened to a reader’s pizza suggestion in Chicago (see Giordano’s Pizza Chicago: Trust Your Taste Buds, Not Your Friends), I came away disappointed. The hotel is overpriced at $200 for 4 hours, the decor is in dire straits, and despite being called TWAFastWifi, the WiFi is even slower than JetBlue’s.
TPOL’s Tip: Don’t listen to readers’ recommendations (see TWA Hotel JFK: Where to Not Spend a Layover).
That’s B-A-C-H-U-W-A, not B-A-K-L-A-V-A, not B-A-C-O-W-A.Stop 3
Two hours later, I had not done any work and I still had no Wi-Fi. I went back to where I spent my time on my previous trip, the food court of terminal one. For $7, I bought chocolate milk and a diet coke. To be clear, airport expenditures are completely against the rules. Strength and resolve are required to wait for the free lounge offerings. I rationalized that it was a business expense.
TPOL’s Tip: Do not fall for airport inflationary prices.
Stop 4
With work progressing, the Lenovo X1 Carbon, advertised to last for days, begged for caffeine. With no power outlets in the food court, I found my new office.
Call Bachuwa Law, operators are standing by.
Though uncomfortable, I accomplished plenty.
Stop 5
Though my laptop was juiced, I was out of fuel. Accordingly, I went back to the food court and broke two rules: 1. I spent more money. 2. I ordered McDonald’s, something I only do when I am on the road for weeks and have given up on my attempts to assimilate to local culture (see Did TPOL Buy a 1 Euro Italian Villa?) or because the Tahiti Diet has been destroyed by my lack of moderation (see A Holiday of Healthy, Tipsy, & on Budget? Basically Impossible). For $7.59, I had two basic hamburgers, the only thing edible off that processed menu, and more sodium i.e., Diet Coke.
Stop 6
Stop 6 came at 6PM with my journey back on the Airtrain to terminal 4. I thought maybe there was a chance that I could check in a little earlier than advertised.
Walking to business class, I was stopped by a nice member of SQ’s staff. She asked, “Are you going to SQ via Frankfurt or direct?” Excited, I said direct, thinking she would be impressed. She replied, “Oh well the gate does not open for another hour and a half.” She added, “Had you wanted to check in early you could have come from 2PM to 3:30PM. We have early check in during that time.” My jaw dropped as I meekly told her I had been here since 9AM. She empathetically laughed.
Stop 7Dance the night away, live your life and stay young on the floorOverall
Today’s travel lesson is to ignore yesterday’s lesson and ignore what’s on the website. Ask in person. Had I known I could have been in the underwhelming Centurion or Wingman lounge much sooner (see Closing Time: Chaos & Trash at Centurion & Wingtips JFK). Had I known I would’ve saved myself $18.17!
TPOL’s Tip: Read all the Travel Lessons here.
I had the world’s longest layover at JFK (see 13.5 Hours in JFK: Wait, There Was Early Check-in!) before taking the world’s longest flight (see World’s Longest & Best Flight: JFK-SIN). The last time I had a long layover, a reader suggested I visit the TWA Hotel (see JFK: Too Early to Check-In). The last time I listened to a reader’s pizza suggestion in Chicago (see Giordano’s Pizza Chicago: Trust Your Taste Buds, Not Your Friends), I came away disappointed.
TPOL’s Tip: Don’t listen to readers’ recommendations.
First, a quickie at the TWA goes for $200. Who is going to pay that much for 4 hours? One night costs $350, also terrible. Second, and more importantly, the Wi-Fi, which is actually called TWAFastWifi, was anything but.
I thought I could tough out the bad Wi-Fi on account of the great Motown music played in the lobby. Since I was not there to work nor audition for the Temptations reboot, I decided to leave.
The TWA hotel is run down. The furniture was worn, and the white decor was covered with the expected filth that took over the World Trade Oculus. There’s nothing to do here but take some retro photos and move on. That’s B-A-C-H-U-W-A, not B-A-K-L-A-V-A, not B-A-C-O-W-A.TPOL’s Tip: Hey New York, white isn’t the color for your grimy city.
I haven’t come close to finishing the Iraqi Trip Report, and now I am launching the Reunion Tour Trip Report. If you haven’t been following me on IG, @thepointsoflife, let me tell you where I’ve flown for the last 31 days by way of the Great Circle Map.
Note: This is only where I flew. I drove to many countries as well.Do you know these airport codes?
You’ll have to wait an eternity for me to publish the famous excel spreadsheet of how I put together another incomparable trip for little cash out of pocket. In the interim, enjoy the many posts soon to follow.
I’m leaving today for another adventure. I was supposed to break 100 UN countries in 2020 but could not. I was supposed to break 100 in golf 2022 but did not. If things go according to plan, I will be at 102/193 UN countries and 127/330 countries and territories when I return (see Where I’ve Been) by the end of September. As far as blogging and golf, I will take up those challenges when I return in October.
TPOL’s Tip: Follow me on Instagram if you can’t do without me for that long.
So long golf course, hello adventure.
I will be gone most of September. I hope you appreciated these great posts from August.
Did TPOL Buy a 1 Euro Italian Villa?Lawrence Sawyer August 24, 2022 at 4:18 pm said, “Best travel blogger post I’ve ever read…and I’ve been reading blogs and travel hacking since the Frugal Travel Guy was blazing trails. Long live Rick! And keep writing!!”
Not Breaking News: Frontier Airlines SucksFrontier is true hell. To punctuate this point, Frontier offered me $800 to give up my seat back to SJU and fly the next day. When I learned it was in the form of a voucher, I politely declined.
Booked! World’s Longest FlightThe 18 hour and 50 minute flight aboard an a350 from JFK to SIN is the longest in the world.
55K Alaskan to Fiji And My New Melbourne ResidenceThe title of this Trip Report is appropriately called Over/Under because I am planning on living in Melbourne for six weeks next spring but am unsure about the odds of that actually happening.
After my first flight on Frontier, I needed a chiropractor (see Not Breaking News: Frontier Airlines Sucks). Fortunately, there was a Priority Pass in the terminal. Unfortunately, I could not enter it until three hours before my next flight on the Frontier hell bus. I was disappointed to see that the coffee machine was not working. I was relieved to see that the food was halfway decent. Seating
It makes sense why they restrict access to this lounge. It was packed when I arrived and packed when I left. Bar
I tried to preemptively numb myself before the next leg of my flight but could not muster the will to drink.
There is a tip jar for those that are into that.Overall
This was a pleasant interlude before my next miserable flight on Frontier.
What I forgot is how much it sucks.
I booked a flight to Phoenix on Frontier not solely because of the price but because of the convenient routing (see Back to Phoenix on Frontier).
Seats
The best way to describe the seat is a bus stop bench. It is inhumane to think that humans can sit for more than ten minutes in this chair. There is not an option to recline at all.
The tiny tray table was not bad for napping.TPOL’s Tip: Don’t go to the west coast from Puerto Rico. It’s far too long of a journey for little reward.
Fees
I once wrote, Free without the ‘R’ spells FEE. That hasn’t changed. Since I was importing some workout equipment back to Puerto Rico, I had to check a bag. I used my Amex platinum credits to purchase that bag along with a carry-on. Somehow that costs $196!
That price does not include seat assignment. I found that out the hard way. On my connection from MCO to PHX, the machine went eh, eh. The gate agent handed me another ticket. I thought I had been upgraded, if there is such a thing. I was not. Instead, my aisle seat in the middle of the plane was replaced with a middle seat all the way in the back of the plane. Bamboozled, I asked the flight attendant how I could receive a downgrade. He said that since I did not pay for a seat assignment, they have the right to throw me anywhere they want.
Hell busService
That wasn’t the only example of bristly customer service. When we landed in Orlando, an eager passenger, understandably anxious to get off this hell airline, attempted to retrieve his bag before the plane had come to a complete stop.
The flight attendant sternly screamed, “Sit down!” She tried to soften her stance by following up with, “We don’t want anyone injured before they can enjoy Orlando.”
Sleep
The flight back to San Juan was even worse. I was in the back of the plane in an aisle seat sharing the bus bench with a huge guy who was encroaching on the small space that I did have. Why he put his tiny son in the window and himself in the middle is a mystery. If I was uncomfortable then he must have been in agony. I tried to implement my Kama Sutra for sleeping on planes but nothing worked (see The Kama Sutra of Airplane Sleep: Surviving a 17 Hour Flight). There is nothing worse than being exhausted and not being able to sleep. It is torture.
Qsuites, where are you?Advice
If you are going to fly Frontier, I have some advice for you.
Don’t.
If you choose not to listen to that advice then do the following:
Sit next to a drunk. On the way to Phoenix, the person next to me started the flight by asking for 3 Tanqueray’s and a beer. And then he ordered another round and another. I was waiting for him to be cut off or go berserk or both. Neither happened. Instead, he ordered more. Bored of drinking alone, the friendly drunk offered me gin, and more gin, and more gin. I was beginning to enjoy Frontier.
Gin & Juice but not laid back thanks to Frontier’s seats that do not recline.
If you’re not lucky enough to sit next to a generous drunkard, be sure to download your own entertainment. There is no wifi or IFE on Frontier.
Overall
Frontier is true hell. To punctuate this point, Frontier offered me $800 to give up my seat back to SJU and fly the next day. When I learned it was in the form of a voucher, I politely declined.
Frontier Sucks
I hate but understand 5/24 and currently I am under it. What I don’t understand is why Citi rejected me for the Premier card. Here are the reasons given:
Your credit report shows a high amount of unused credit compared to your available credit lines.
Your credit report shows too many bank or national revolving accounts.
I called recon and it wasn’t like the old days. I was told that nothing could be done. The rep stated contradictory reasons that gave me no hope that I will be approved in the future. On the one hand, I have too much available credit, and on the other hand I was told that I close cards too frequently. Am I supposed to call each bank and lower my credit line for existing accounts? Perhaps that would alleviate concern #1. But concern #2 and the reason listed in the rejection letter are polar opposites.
I am stuck with 240k TY points that can’t be used until Citi sees the good in me.
Seating
It makes sense why they restrict access to this lounge. It was packed when I arrived and packed when I left. 
Bar
I tried to preemptively numb myself before the next leg of my flight but could not muster the will to drink.
Seats
The best way to describe the seat is a bus stop bench. It is inhumane to think that humans can sit for more than ten minutes in this chair. There is not an option to recline at all.
