Simply The Best: April 2022

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Simply The Best: April 2022

Oh look another month has gone by. Here’s the best from April.

  1. 25,000 Mile RTW Trip Including Iraq Booked!
    Invalid request error occurred.
    I’m happy to get back on the road again. #duckcovid #nomaskonplanes And One more thing, I booked this for two people. #dynomite #youvestillgotit
  2. The Urban Turban Has Launched: Buy One Today! [Limited Inventory]
    Invalid request error occurred.
    Who knows if this idea will work, but how many people do you know could pull this off? The answer is one.
  3. Guns & Butter: Conwy, Wales Travel Guide
    Invalid request error occurred.
    Wales is a perfect example of a place that is not a country by the standard definition, but it should be for a plethora of reasons.
  4. 100 GBP Carry-On Bags? Scammed by Ryanair & Trips.com
    Invalid request error occurred.
    If I have to fly Ryanair again, I would rather pay more and book directly than book through a third-party site and go through this nonsense.
  5. Priority Pass Manchester: Do You Have a Reservation?
    Invalid request error occurred.
    Requiring reservations and controlling where people sit in a lounge does nothing to stop the spread of Covid. We will look back and wonder why we had these nonsensical measures.
  6. Scam Covid Test #2: Leaving the UK
    Invalid request error occurred.
    How much money is being made off of these tests?
  7. Remedial Reminder: Put Your Rewards Account Number in Your Credit App
    a screenshot of a flight schedule
    Here’s a post that will yield more people telling me how stupid I am.

25,000 Mile RTW Trip Including Iraq Booked!

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25,000 Mile RTW Trip Including Iraq Booked!

I’ve been missing in action, but for a good reason. I have been working on another epic round-the-world trip, the last being in 2019 before the world ended (see Booked! ANA RTW: 22,000 Miles in Glorious Business). Once again, I am using ANA miles to make this business class dream come true. Here is a comparison of the past and present: Miles Required 

  • 2019: The 22,000-mile flight required 125,000 ANA points.
  • 2022: I am flying just under 25,000 miles. This requires 145k ANA points.
How to Get ANA Miles  I transferred 145k MR’s, and in one day the miles were reflected in my account. Note that ANA miles expire after 3 years from issuance and cannot be extended. Fuel Surcharges  If there’s one drawback to ANA, it’s that you have to pay fuel surcharges depending on which airline you fly. The way to check how much fuel surcharges will be is to search on the Matrix.
YQ or YR denotes fuel surcharges.
YQ or YR denotes fuel surcharges.
In the ‘el cheapo’ days, I would be outraged if I had to pay one dollar in fuel surcharges and would try to use my Barclays Arrival card to offset such charges. Today, I don’t care and don’t have the time or desire to MS my way to a few hundred in savings (see I’m Done with Manufactured Spending).
  • 2019: The fuel surcharges came out to $1022. Que desastre!
  • 2022: The fuel surcharges came out to $1602.13 Que mierda!
Routing Rules  Via God Save the Points, here are the rules with my comments in bold from this time and last time:
  • You must choose to fly east-west or west-east — you are NOT allowed to backtrack:
    • 2019: ANA allowed to fly to Beirut via Istanbul and then to Shanghai via Istanbul. Initially, I thought it was absolutely not allowed to go backwards. From what I’ve read and with my experience, you just can’t backtrack from one continent to another.
    • 2022: I went from Lithuania to Iraq, to Turkey, onto Tunisia, back to Istanbul, then to Georgia, back to Istanbul, then to Qatar, then to Egypt, before finally going to Thailand. Somehow that’s not backtracking.
  • You must cross both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans — only once each as per the rule above:
    • 2019: Easily done.
    • 2022: Basically impossible. Thanks to Covid there are no flights on Air China; there’s no availability on Asiana; United had no saver awards; and ANA from Japan was impossible because tourists aren’t allowed into Japan to transit from HND to NRT. The only flight I found was NRT to MEX but could not find a flight that arrived on time.
  • Include up to 12 segments and include 4 ground transfer segments.
    • 2019: I could only get to 10. Obviously, direct flights are your best bet.
    • 2022: I hit 12 but it wasn’t by choice. All roads lead to Istanbul.
  • Up to 8 stopovers are allowed. If you have all the time in the world, take the stopovers. I do not but am still satisfied with the routing.
    • Up to 3 in Europe
    • Up to 4 in Japan
  • Your trip must span at least 10 days from the date of your first international departure. I would love to see someone do this in 11 days.
  • Flights may be operated by ANA or Star Alliance partners.
    • 2019: From what I read, you cannot fly Etihad and book flights with Star Alliance Partners. Juneyao Air, an airline based out of Shanghai, is a United partner but not a Star Alliance partner.
    • 2022: An ANA round the world ticket is basically a tour of Turkish Airlines, for better or worse.
  • Your itinerary must touch all three zones, what ANA calls “Areas”, and return to the one from which you started the trip.
    • 2019: As you’ll see from my GCMAP, I had to fly from New York and return to New York. I tried to fly from Puerto Rico and return to New York but was told that Puerto Rico is not part of the United States. That’s interesting to learn.
    • 2022: I tried to start in PR and end in Latin America but could not find availability.
Where I’m Going  Airlines 
  • LOT (JFK-WAW): I’ve never flown LOT before. That’s exciting minus the reviews saying it’s not the greatest.
  • Singapore (Didn’t work): I found availability on SQ business and put tickets on hold. I called back to make other changes and they said that the agent said that I could not fly SQ in business because the airline doesn’t release award space for business. I don’t know what would have happened had I booked that itinerary instead of putting it on hold and did not bother to try.
  • EgyptAir (DOH-CAI-BKK): This was the best way to plan for Algeria and get to SE Asia. I flew EgyptAir in economy and it wasn’t bad (see EgyptAir: Warning Economy Class Review), but like LOT, I don’t hear great things.
  • United (HND-LAX): I’ve been out of the game so long that I did not know that United eliminated their ‘saver’ business column. Thanks to Live And Let’s Fly, I learned that ‘JN’ isn’t saver and that I need to find ‘I’ to get old-school pricing that is bookable on partner airlines.
a screenshot of a flight schedule
Thanks to JN, there will be no GUM for ‘I’.
  • Turkish: Everything else.
Booking  It’s easy, almost too easy, to book an ANA RTW ticket. Unlike most ticketing centers, the ANA representatives want you to feed them the flight numbers. And if something is not available, you don’t have to hang up and call back after you’ve figured it out. They help you find something else. 2019: TPOL’s TIP: You have 72 hours to put your ticket on hold, but ANA will not guarantee that tickets will actually be there when you’re ready to book (see Award Booking OCD = Fortnite Addiction). 2022: TPOL’s TIP: They said 24 hours was the maximum they would put the itinerary on hold, but then they put it on hold for 72 after I called back. Best to book as soon as possible regardless. Total Mileage Flown 
  • 2019: I wanted to get as close to 22k miles as possible. GCMAP says I topped out at 21,589, but ANA said I was at 21,879. I’ll go with ANA’s official mileage in measuring how close I came to squeezing every mile in business.
  • 2022: GCMAP says 24,275. I’m slipping on my efficiency.
a screenshot of a computer Map I’ve saved the best for last, the map.
  • 2019Invalid request error occurred.
  • 2022 a map of the world with red lines
Both are glorious. Airlines Spreadsheet 
  • 2019Invalid request error occurred.
  • 2022: You’ll have to wait till this is over.
Overall
  • 2019: Devaluation? I Laugh in the Face of Devaluation, and am happy to say that I still do. Maybe this points game will come to an end one day, but at this rate, I think I’ll be dead before that happens. #pointsnewdeal #tpol2020 #tpol2024
  • 2022: I’m happy to get back on the road again. #duckcovid #nomaskonplanes
And One More Thing  I booked this for two people. #dynomite #youvestillgotit

Why Is Turkish ‘Unsanitary’ on SeatGuru?

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Why Is Turkish ‘Unsanitary’ on SeatGuru?

I am not a huge fan of Turkish Airlines. I have flown it many times before. In 2019, I flew it from Istanbul to Shanghai and could not believe that they operated a 2-3-2 business class (see Turkish Business IST-PVG: Really, 2-3-2?). To ensure that I don’t end up on another sub-product, I tried to use SeatGuru. Regardless of the flight, all Turkish queries resulted in this: a white background with black dots I have no idea why this occurs but it, along with Chase’s incompetence in transferring my United miles (see Remedial Reminder: Put Your Rewards Account Number in Your Credit App), is making my effort to get back in the sky frustrating as hell.

Remedial Reminder: Put Your Rewards Account Number in Your Credit App

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Remedial Reminder: Put Your Rewards Account Number in Your Credit App

Here’s a post that will yield more people telling me how stupid I am. I am writing it because I want others to learn from my careless ways.

Months ago, I applied for the Chase United Business account. Excited for the opportunity to churn, I didn’t take the extra second to input my MileagePlus number. Over the past two months, I’ve received letters from Chase saying that they can’t verify my address and this is preventing them from transferring the 175,000 miles I’ve accrued. As I hate calling anyone, I nonchalantly reached out through secure message hoping this would resolve the issue. It did not.

Now, I’m trying to book an epic trip and actually need my United miles. Now, Chase is saying they don’t know how to fix the problem. Now, the flight is available. Later it won’t be. And I’ll have no one to blame but me.

Don’t be like me.

100 GBP Carry-On Bags? Scammed by Ryanair & Trips.com

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100 GBP Carry-On Bags? Scammed by Ryanair & Trips.com

Priority Pass Manchester Lounge Review is part of Punxsutawney TPOL Trip Report.

I have flown Ryanair before (see Ryanair LUX-LIS: Not as Bad as Expected). I am aware of the cute ways it tries to maximize revenue. Whether it is charging for food or selling lottery tickets on board, Ryan is always looking to score a buck. Earlier this trip, I flew Ryanair from Copenhagen to Edinburgh. I paid in advance for a carry-on bag because I knew that trying to sneak one on would result in a million-dollar fine. For this trip, Manchester to Milan, I booked another Ryanair ticket but found the cheapest ticket through Trips.com. It was $22 for two people. Before arriving at the airport, I tried to check-in online because failing to do so ahead of time would result in a 30 euro charge. While my flight was showing as checked-in on the Trips.com app, I could not add bags to my reservation, nor could I access my reservation on the Ryanair app. Anxious, I arrived at the airport worried about what was to come. I went to the Ryanair counter and told the agent that the Ryanair app was not working but I should be checked-in. She confirmed that I was and printed two boarding passes, one for me and one for Ms. TPOL. She did not comment on our bags. After the Escape Lounge, I went to the gate and the same woman was checking-in passengers. She asked if I had priority boarding. I said no. She said that we could not bring carry-ons. I would have to pay 100 GBP to check in two bags. She went on to say that had I checked the bags when she first printed my boarding pass, it would have been 50GBP total. She proceeded to accuse me of coming to the counter without my bags. That was a ridiculous accusation as both Ms. TPOL and I had to go to the counter to present our negative Covid tests (see Scam Covid Test #2: Leaving the UK). Where could we have securely left the bags while checking in? I tried to explain this to her, and she said I could continue to argue with her and miss my flight or pay the 100GBP. I obliged. Before taking off, I took pictures and screenshots of my receipt and my attempt to access my ticket using the Ryanair app. I sent it to Trips.com. They, like Ryan, blamed me for the bag fee. They said I was supposed to call Trips.com to add a checked bag. I explained that I didn’t want to check in a bag. I only wanted to add a carry-on. I also tried to explain that since Trips.com checked me in, I could not add a carry-on using the Ryanair app. They continued to say I needed to call in to have a checked bag added. I was offered $20 for my next trip. I refused. Clearly, there was a disconnect in our communication. Lesson I know RyanAir charges for carry-ons. I am fine paying for them. The fare is still dirt cheap. What I don’t like is when the base fare is cheaper on a third-party site, and the add-ons are not possible online. The record locator should work on the airline’s site and I should be able to access my reservation without calling anyone. If I have to fly Ryanair again, I would rather pay more and book directly than book through a third-party site and go through this nonsense. TPOL’s Tip: Read all of my Travel Lessons here. Final Result After many angry emails to Trips.com, I was refunded the 100GBP.
luggage on a conveyor belt
Most expensive bag.

The Urban Turban Has Launched: Buy One Today! [Limited Inventory]

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The Urban Turban Has Launched: Buy One Today! [Limited Inventory]
Disclaimer: There is no affiliate disclaimer. TPOL launched his own sportswear line. All proceeds go to me. Isn’t that wonderful? 

Buy It Here! 

The Urban Turban has launched. For those that have not been following, here’s the timeline on how I got here:

Buy It Here! 

And for those that didn’t click on any links and have no idea what I am talking about, here is IQKhameleon’s Urban Turban: a head scarf on a mannequin

Buy It Here! 

a person wearing a blue and white checkered scarf

Buy It Here! 

a mannequin wearing a head scarf

Buy It Here! 

a red scarf with dogs on it

I’m sure you’ve already bought one by now, so buy another one here. Overall Who knows if this idea will work, but how many people do you know could pull this off? The answer is one.
Buy It Here! Buy It Here! Buy It Here! Buy It Here! Buy It Here! Buy It Here! Buy It Here!

Jamaica Carnival Postponed till July

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Jamaica Carnival Postponed till July

I have been trying to go to Jamaica for Carnival for the last three years. It was canceled in 2020, canceled in 2021, and now it is postponed until July for 2022. I had booked a room at the AC Marriott in Kingston and will now have to see if there is availability for the new dates. Carnival is the best event in the world whether it is in Rio or Trinidad. The only good news about this cancellation is that I will have more time to recover from my Achilles injury (see TPOL Is Down), a necessity if I’m going to dance like it’s 2019.

a man taking a selfie with a crowd of people
Jamaica 2022?

Priority Pass Manchester: Do You Have a Reservation?

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Priority Pass Manchester: Do You Have a Reservation?

Priority Pass Manchester Lounge Review is part of Punxsutawney TPOL Trip Report. Covid Disclaimer: I drafted this post when I visited this Priority Pass Lounge in October of 2021.

Do you have a reservation? Thanks to Covid, everything requires a reservation. Establishments claim it’s for safety reasons, but I see it as an excuse not to deal with the masses. At the Priority Pass Manchester, a reservation is required to enter, and free seating is not allowed. If there is an open table, entrants are supposed to stay at that table for the duration of their stay.a sign on a table I was put at a table next to the bar and food. The whole time I was eating, there was a long queue of people standing around me waiting for a drink.a group of people in a rooma group of people sitting in a lobby people sitting in a room with a counter and a group of people a group of people sitting at tables in a room with green columns Food Despite the zoo that is the lounge, the food was good and replenished quickly.a machine on a counter a sandwich and salad in a bowl a plate of pasta and a glass of beer on a tablea tray of pastries with a knife and tongs Escape I came across an empty backroom and broke the rules by relocating to it.a room with chairs and tables a group of chairs in a room a white mug and a glass of wine on a table Overall Requiring reservations and controlling where people sit in a lounge does nothing to stop the spread of Covid. We will look back and wonder why we had these nonsensical measures.

Scam Covid Test #2: Leaving the UK

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Scam Covid Test #2: Leaving the UK

Scam Covid Test #2 is part of Punxsutawney TPOL Trip Report. Disclaimer: I drafted this post in October 2021. One day, and maybe that day is today, we can look back and see how stupid these travel restrictions were.

To go to Italy from the UK, the Italian government requires a negative test taken within 48 hours of arrival. This shortened, random duration meant the test I took in Belfast (see Scam Covid Test #1: Entering the UK) would no longer be valid. For convenience, Manchester airport has a testing center on-site. Unlike entry into the UK, which required a PCR test, Italy accepted the less intrusive antigen test. After a quick swab, I was sent on my way to await the results. Like I did in Colombia (see Room Service: I’m Here with Your Covid Test), I wondered what I would do if it came back positive. How much money or points would I have to burn to quarantine? Moments later, I received confirmation that I was negative. Relieved as I might be, I continue to be annoyed at the scam that testing has become. How much money is being made off of these tests?
a sign next to a flag
Following the arrows to the scam.

Guns & Butter: Conwy, Wales Travel Guide

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Guns & Butter: Conwy, Wales Travel Guide

Conwy Wales Travel Guide is part of Punxsutawney TPOL Trip Report.

TPOL’s Guns & Butter Travel Guide is the best way to see as much as you can in as little time as possible. Here’s how it works – A trip is composed of two factors: Labor And Lazy. The opportunity cost (what is given up) for relaxing and being Lazy is gained by being adventurous in the form of Labor and vice versa. The guide includes inefficient activities i.e., tourist traps that should be avoided and aspirational activities that are worth doing but may be impossible to see given the constraints of time and resources.
I am convinced more than ever that the TCC list for what constitutes a country should be the standard for the ever popular question- How many countries have you visited (see Is Hawaii a Country?)? Wales is a perfect example of a place that is not a country by the standard definition, but should be for a plethora of reasons. Here are a few: They have their own language, Welsh. They have their own national football team. They have dragons. But for the TCC list and the World Cup years ago where the Welsh team made a strong showing, I would have overlooked this country. I would have been satisfied that visiting England ticked off the box for the entire United Kingdom. That line of thinking would have been unfortunate since I would have also missed out on Scotland (see Guns & Butter: Edinburgh Travel Guide) and Northern Ireland (see Guns & Butter: Belfast Travel Guide). Now that I have you convinced that Wales is a country, here is everything you need to know about Conwy, the city I went to from Manchester (see Guns & Butter: Manchester Travel Guide). Train The train from Oxford Road in Manchester had one stop in Chester, passed through my hometown of Flint, and took two hours. train tracks next to a platform I’m always concerned if I purchased the right tickets (see “Tickets, Please, Tickets”).
a group of people wearing face masks
My fear captured in his face.
TPOL’s Tip: Treat yourself to some wine as you wait for the connecting train in Chester. a glass and bottle of wine on a table
a parking lot with cars parked in front of it
Where the duck are you from ffffff Flint town
The Town The town looks like something from a storybook. a street with buildings and cars a car parked on a street cars parked cars on a street Dragons The stories are true. There are dragons everywhere. a sign on a wall a flag on a stone wall a sign on a stone wall Coffee The first stop was a coffee house that looked more like my grandma’s house than a Starbucks. a pink store front with a sign on the side a piece of cake on a plate next to a cup of coffee Souvenirs TPOL’s Travel Lesson for souvenirs is simple: if you see it and like it, buy it. Something always comes up if I leave such purchases to the end. a man standing in front of a stone wall TPOL’s Tip: This does not apply for souvenirs that require bargaining. In Conwy, I bought the staple shot glass, coasters, and a football jersey but neglected to buy a dragon futbol scarf. Castle A local told me he never went to the castle and he would never go. “The castle was built by the English to keep us out.” I dare someone to tell him that Wales is not a country. I went to the castle, my third on this trip (see Guns & Butter: Ribera Del Duero, Madrid Travel Guide (Vino Edition) and Guns & Butter: Edinburgh Travel Guide) because it’s something to do in this small town. It’s not a must-do but a might as well. a castle on a hill a wooden statue of a man holding a spear a stone castle with a flag on top a stone castle with grass and a stone walkway a bridge over water with a bridge over it a stone castle with towers a stone castle with a river and a city a stone well with a hole in it a stone castle with a green field and trees Mussels The reason I went to Wales was to check off another country on my Country Count. The reason I went to Conwy is because strangers at a random bar in Edinburgh told me that Conwy has the best mussels and lamb in the world.
a black sign on a sidewalk
Probably the finest fish & chips but definitely the best mussels.
Bar I was told to go to the Marina for mussels. That required taking a taxi. Before figuring out the logistics of how to do that, I thought it wise to stop at a bar and have a drink. a glass of beer on a bar Like the coffee house, this pub was more like a friend’s house and less like a bar. Cozy in the corner, I pulled up the menu for Marina but did not see mussels. In a friendly mood, I asked the man seated on the couch next to me if he was from Conwy and if he knew where I could find mussels. Stewart, as I learned his name to be, took it upon himself to call multiple restaurants to inquire. Alas, no one had mussels. Recognizing one of the local chefs sitting at the bar, he asked if his restaurant had any mussels. The chef replied that the order had not come in but the prognosis was not promising. I messaged my Welsh friend who was dumbfounded when I said the town was dry. I then went across the street to Shakespeare’s, the chef’s restaurant, at the Castle Hotel to ask if any mussels would be coming today. I returned with disheartening news. Due to the dredging of the coastline, there were no mussels to be had. The next time mussels would be available would be the day after and even then, they would be in limited supply. a glass of beer on a table By this time, half the town had learned about my search for mussels. Try as they might, no one could find a single mussel. Many beers in, the despair from not finding mussels gave way to jokes about mussels and their cousin the cockle. Stewart said if I was really desperate I could try pickled mussels and pickled cockles. This led to more jokes and to Ms. TPOL going across the street for a few jars. a couple of containers of food a glass of beer and two jars of food on a table a glass jar of mussels Hours later, it was time to say goodbye to my new friends and go to dinner for Wales’s other famous dish, the lamb. Before we did, Stewart had left and came back with more pickled mussels and cockles for our train ride home.
a group of people sitting around a table
Guy on the left is called Sausage.
TPOL’s Tip: The Ye Olde Mail Coach needs no address. The town is tiny. You will find it. Conwy by Night The town is as charming at night as it is by day. a street with shops and cars parked on the side a car parked in front of a building Lamb The same restaurant that did not have the mussels did have the lamb. It was so good that I almost forgot about the mussels. Almost. a sign on a building a table with chairs and a painting on it
a man taking a selfie in front of a painting
Family portrait.
a plate of food on a table
a bowl of french fries with cheese and herbs
Truffle fries
a dessert in a glass cup Gin for the Road On the way out of town, I stopped by the former bank for my new favorite drink, grapefruit infused gin and soda. Make it a double. Then it was back to the train station for the hammered ride home.
a bottle of pink liquid
Yes to gin.
two glasses of liquid on a table
No to Aperol cocktail.
a bottle of wine on a table
Definite no to Wales whiskey.
a sign at night with yellow lights
My vision.
The Guns & Butter Takeaway I take it personally when I travel and what I am supposed to do does not go according to plan. Rationalize as I try, I am not happy until I see, taste, experience, what I came to see, taste or experience. In Madrid, they said the bullfight was sold out. I persisted until I found tickets (see Attending A Bullfight In Madrid: A Range of Emotions). In Zimbabwe, they said that all spots for the Devil’s Pool were taken. I wandered the town until I finally found a company to make the booking (see The Devil’s Pool Zambia: Loungin Atop Victoria Falls). In Conwy, I fell short of experiencing the mussels, despite this great story. While I am disappointed, the experience is consistent with the Guns & Butter Travel Guide, whereby I will never be able to see, do, and experience everything a place has to offer in the limited time I am there.
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