Disclaimer: This post is in response to a wellness check from my avid readers who wonder if I have quit the game. I have not!
For two months, I have been trying to set up a way to write more blog posts more efficiently. I have hundreds of posts from too many trips that I have not published. Instead of writing more, I have written nothing. We appreciate your patience as we look to bring you more original, quality, stunning, exhilarating content in the future.
For now, all I can say is Go Bills! Go Lions! And leave you with a random photo:
1/4 so far this year…
December may be the laziest month in my blogging career. In an effort to increase blogging efficiency, I ended up doing nothing. Here are the posts from December:
Happy Festivus! Airing of Points Grievances 2023Dear shit talkers, let’s have The Feats of Strength in the ring!Guns & Butter: Vancouver, Canada Travel Guide (Organic Edition)In terms of big Canadien cities, I prefer Toronto or Montreal over Vancouver. While the scenery in Vancouver is beautiful, I am not paying a premium for this organic tranquility. I suggest you spend your time outside where the experience is free.SkyTeam Lounge Vancouver: Ready to GoLet the journey begin!
I have done spent so much on this trip already. It was time to reset at the lounge in anticipation for the real part of the trip, starting with one night in Fiji. Flying Fiji Airways business (see 55K Alaskan to Fiji And My New Melbourne Residence), I was given access to the SkyTeam Lounge Vancouver.
TPOL’s Guns & Butter Travel Guide is the best way to see as much as you can in as little time as possible. Here’s how it works: A trip is composed of two factors: Labor And Lazy. The opportunity cost (what is given up) for relaxing and being Lazy is gained by being adventurous in the form of Labor and vice versa. The guide includes inefficient activities i.e., tourist traps that should be avoided and aspirational activities that are worth doing but may be impossible to see given the constraints of time and resources.
“I hate organic cities, never take me to Portland.” Those were my parting words on my way back to YVR airport. Hate is far from the right word to describe how I feel about Vancouver. The city itself is quite pleasant. The price gouging disguised as local, farm-to-table is where I was turned off.
TPOL’s Disclaimer: I had one day in Vancouver (see Close Call? Connection Flight before Fiji Cancelled), so this is an abbreviated Guns Guide. However, according to my Uber driver, I saw as much as humanly possible in the short time I was there.
Train from the Airport
I took the train from the airport to the Waterfront (see Uber Or Train from Vancouver Airport? Depends on How Many People).
Coffee Is Mandatory
Before embarking on a day of adventure, I needed a double shot. Where you choose to have that is up to you.
Gastown Steam Clock
No trip to Vancouver would be complete without seeing the Gastown Steam Clock go off.
TPOL’s Trivia: Did you know that the Gastown Steam Clock was named after “Gassy” Jack Deighton?
Chinatown
Aesthetically, Chinatown looked a little run down.
Fortunately, dim sum was quality at Jade’s Dynasty.
$47 for too much food, $ well spent.TPOL’s Tip: Jade’s Dynasty is located at 137 E Pender St, Vancouver, BC V6A 1T6, Canada.
Walking
At dim sum, I met a Vancouver ‘local’, a Mexican expat. He recommended that I spend the day walking around the city. And so we did.
False Creek
The highlight of my time in Vancouver was False Creek, “a short narrow inlet in the heart of Vancouver, separating the Downtown and West End neighborhoods from the rest of the city.”
Granville Street Bridge
It’s worth the trek up and over the bridge for these colors:
Granville Island
The Mexican also suggested that I go to Granville Island for Vancouver’s famous donuts. It’s under the aforementioned bridge. Lee’s Donuts
After an hour of walking, the moment of truth came as we arrived at Lee’s Donuts. Would it be worth the hype and effort?
It was not. Like Domino’s pizza, I’ll run on Dunkin’ before walking to Lee’s again.
TPOL’s TIP: 1689 Johnston St, Vancouver, BC V6H 3R9, Canada
Lee’s is located within the Public Market, a variety of lively, local shops. Browsing, I wondered who would pay these prices for basic groceries. The restaurants were equally as expensive. This unassuming place was more of a tourist trap than a local way to spend an afternoon.
Burrard Bridge
Disappointed by the overpriced Public Market, I sought to find the natural beauty of Vancouver. Instead of jumping into an Uber, I walked to Burrard Bridge, the parallel Bridge to Granville, for more views.
Stanley Park
Running out of time, I Ubered to Stanley Park for more nature.
On a cold, windy day, I visited the Girl in the Westuit.
“Although some believe it was a replica of Copenhagen’s The Little Mermaid (see Guns & Butter: Copenhagen Travel Guide), the creator has said: I didn’t believe we should have a copy of the mermaid. She is rightfully a symbol of Copenhagen… I proposed to have a life-size scuba diver seated there. At that time scuba diving was getting quite popular here in Vancouver and, just as important, I didn’t know of any similar sculpture anywhere in the world. It was a new idea… There was tremendous opposition and great controversy. I still don’t know why.”
I’m not sure I buy that. Here’s The Little Mermaid in Copenhagen:
Water creatures aside, Stanley Park is worth the visit.
Olympic Village
The final stop was the Olympic Village. There’s not much to see here as the area has turned into a residential neighborhood.
Overall
In terms of big Canadien cities, I prefer Toronto or Montreal over Vancouver. While the scenery in Vancouver is beautiful, I am not paying a premium for this organic tranquility. I suggest you spend your time outside where the experience is free.
The Festivus tradition continues in 2023. New year, same negative people saying negative things. God bless them, nonetheless.
Did Lars make the cut? In the Festivus 2022 post, he said he would try, “I’m going to try and talk some quality trash in your direction via the comments in 2023 in hopes of making next year’s rendition of Festivus! It won’t be easy as I can see there’s going to be some quality competition!”
Let’s find out:
Cheaters! Spartan Stadium Review
Bob Jones: Uhhh Michigan stole signals from both the offense and defense… nice try insulting them and making yourself look ridiculous though. What kind of education did you get?
SS: Insults alienate readers, just sayin’. . I have good friends from both schools and cheer for both …. each have up years and down years … Rivalry can be good natured fun but when privilege generates arrogance, karma remembers. Hashtag The Gift Six
Aaron: PRIOR TO BOOKING, YOU WERE TOLD by your friends. But you still oops. Your faults. Secondly, you didn’t mention you were searching via third party website (hence QSuite) instead of direct booking with IB. It’s still POOR PLANNING. YOUR FAULTS. STOP WHINING
derek:I strongly disagree with the article. The author says Covid testing was a money grab. That remains to be seen because I don’t think the companies providing testing lobbied the government to require testing. On the other hand, I see an angry author who was a potential cause of the problem. See ” I had been all over Europe living life as intended : mask-free. I even went to bars with no social distancing (see Guns & Butter: Copenhagen Travel Guide)! Who knows how many strains of Covid I had been exposed to and if I was infected”. That author was at risk to bringing more Covid into the US and other countries. Early in the pandemic, there were more cases than countries could handle so adding more cases from travelers was the last thing needed. A nice thing that could have been done was for there to be easy rebooking of tickets if you did test positive.
Babblespeak: Yeah, I “now” how far Puerto Rico is from Jamaica. I also “now” it’s really condescending for a travel blogger to assume I don’t because he/she doesn’t. But, you got my click, so mission accomplished.
Mid-Major: What kind of soulless human says “Hell yeah! Another Final Four with Duke and Kansas!”??? And who gives a flying eff that ratings may be low? Are you a mediocre travel blogger, or a CBS ad executive? You being mad that FAU and SDSU have crashed the Final Four is a massive tell that you threw tantrums when it was time to share toys during kindergarten play time.
Mid-Major: Enjoy rooting for UConn to win its fifth title. I’ll be over here rooting for one of the other three win their first, and wondering which mid-major schools sent you rejection letters to make you hate them all so much…
Aaron: Oh poor you! How dare Citi not giving you $200,000 CL? Does Citi not know who & what you are? You should file a complaint with CFPB and you should sue CitiBank and or any bank that dares to give you “undesirable” CL due to your “status”
TJ: You wouldn’t be so snarky if you knew how foreigners are treated at the US border. Many immigration officers at the airport thrive on making people miserable. And the travelers already have visas.
Jo: If you can described sandwiches on you pic as not bad then I suspect you don’t know much about food. And not to try Devynerior 999 on offer is plain stupid. But then I do find the tone of your blog arrogant. And arrogance goes hand in hand with ignorance. Don’t bother to reply, not likely to visit your idiotic blog again.
Ron Mexico: Wrong airport … Drugged in Medellin … No visa and denied boarding to Doha. I’ve never met points god Randy Peterson, but I can’t imagine he woke up one day thinking “Ya know what Boarding Area is missing? An absolute bumbling fool, blogging about his (unfunny) comedy of errors while simultaneously offering zero value to avid travelers!” Congrats on whatever deal you struck with the devil to secure this public forum for your misadventures. May the affiliate revenue continue to flow like wine in 2023…
ken: a tip: stop being so cheap . If you bought the credit on skype and called them right after hilton booking, things would have been different
Dear shit talkers, let’s have The Feats of Strength in the ring!
Here are the previous Festivus posts. You’ll notice that the same people have stayed with me through the years, especially the ‘nasty woman’ linmoron. Maybe I should be thankful for their support.
Can you believe that I just wrapped up living in Melbourne for a month? The Melbourne Residency Report is coming. In the interim, here are the best posts from November.
Who should make the College Football Playoffs? I am documenting my choices because this may be the last time Michigan is in the conversation. I expect Harbaugh to leave, the players to transfer, and the program to be heavily sanctioned. Until that happens, let’s be happy.
Here is TPOL’s 1-4.
Michigan: There should be no doubt that Michigan is number one. We were accused of cheating, didn’t have our head coach for half the season, and yet we beat everyone.
Washington: Washington is undefeated and handled its business in the now-defunct Pac 12.
Alabama: Alabama beat Georgia who had not lost in 2 years. That’s enough to get them in.
Florida State or Texas? If FSU had its quarterback, then FSU would be in automatically. Since it does not and since their second string and third string is not the second coming of Cardale Jones, can FSU be deemed one of the best teams in college football? On the other hand, Texas beat Alabama but had a loss to Oklahoma. If FSU had its QB, FSU should be in and Texas might be out. Luckily for the committee, this isn’t the case. Luckily for me, I believe Michigan can beat Texas.
TPOL’s Plans
I will not attend the semi-final game especially if it’s Michigan against Alabama, though I am researching flights to Houston for the national championship game. However, the last time a Michigan team played in the finals in Texas, I left disappointed (see Final Four San Antonio: Go Blue! Left Blue).
Do you know who won’t be there? The real cheaters who beat us with the aid of the refs in 2016.
Yo, I go by the name (I’m yo’ pusha)Of Pharrell, from The NeptunesAnd I just wanna let y’all know (I’m yo’ pusha)
If you’ve been reading BA, you may have noticed bloggers pushing the Capital One Venture X business card. The card has a 150k bonus offer after spending 30k in one month. Without the aid of MS or the means to manufacture SpaceX rockets (End of MS Means Get Your Life Together), I don’t know who could hit that minimum. Moreover, it isn’t a good value in terms of spend even if one did.
Now that I have that gripe out of the way, let me turn to two other offers, one slightly worth it and one astronomically absurd. If you have a Amex Hilton Business card (see Approved! Amex Hilton Business, IHG Business), you receive one free night after spending 4k. You also receive another free night after spending 15k by the end of the calendar year (emphasis added). A hoarder of points, I would much rather use hotel certs than points. As such, I forced myself to hit the 15k goal in order to have 2 nights at an upscale Hilton. I don’t find the Hilton certs to be that valuable because I have already been to most of the aspirational properties (see Hilton Weekend Certificate: Not Worth the 10k Spend). This time I have a specific use in mind. I will be staying at the Zemi Beach House in Anguilla as part of my effort to visit every island in my home, the Caribbean (see Rum Rum Caribbean Castaway Trip Report).
If I wanted to stay for a third night, I have 2 options: use my cache of Hilton points or spend more on my Hilton Amex. Option 2 brings me to the worst deal ever:
If I spend $45,000 more by the end of December, I will receive an additional free night. Who’s going to do that? OMAAT?
The Best Sports Stadiums: The Big House
Citrus Bowl Stadium: Where Even the Band Battles
The Game: A Wolverine’s Guide For Surviving Columbus
Michigan vs Florida: A Review Of Cowboy Stadium
Michigan v. Wisconsin: Formerly Camp Randall Stadium Review
Finally, A Happy Thanksgiving: Hail to the Victors!
Cheaters! Spartan Stadium Review
As Michigan football goes, so goes my life. All problems feel tremendously worse with a Michigan loss. All problems feel trivial with a Michigan win. Today, I have zero problems and Ohio State ain’t #won. 
Simply The Best: February 2023
Simply The Best: TPOL, The Professor, Turns 9!
Simply The Best: March 2023
Simply The Best: April 2023
Simply The Best: May 2023
Simply The Best: June 2023
Simply The Best: July 2023
Simply The Best: August 2023
Simply The Best: September 2023
Simply The Best: October 2023
Simply The Best: November 2023
Simply The Best: December 2023
Coffee Is Mandatory
Before embarking on a day of adventure, I needed a double shot. Where you choose to have that is up to you.
Gastown Steam Clock
No trip to Vancouver would be complete without seeing the Gastown Steam Clock go off.
TPOL’s Trivia: Did you know that the Gastown Steam Clock was named after “Gassy” Jack Deighton?
Chinatown
Aesthetically, Chinatown looked a little run down.
Fortunately, dim sum was quality at Jade’s Dynasty.
False Creek
The highlight of my time in Vancouver was False Creek, “a short narrow inlet in the heart of Vancouver, separating the Downtown and West End neighborhoods from the rest of the city.”
Granville Island
The Mexican also suggested that I go to Granville Island for Vancouver’s famous donuts. It’s under the aforementioned bridge. 
Lee’s Donuts
After an hour of walking, the moment of truth came as we arrived at Lee’s Donuts. Would it be worth the hype and effort?
It was not. Like Domino’s pizza, I’ll run on Dunkin’ before walking to Lee’s again.
TPOL’s TIP: 1689 Johnston St, Vancouver, BC V6H 3R9, Canada
Lee’s is located within the Public Market, a variety of lively, local shops. Browsing, I wondered who would pay these prices for basic groceries. The restaurants were equally as expensive. This unassuming place was more of a tourist trap than a local way to spend an afternoon.
Burrard Bridge
Disappointed by the overpriced Public Market, I sought to find the natural beauty of Vancouver. Instead of jumping into an Uber, I walked to Burrard Bridge, the parallel Bridge to Granville, for more views.
Stanley Park
Running out of time, I Ubered to Stanley Park for more nature.
On a cold, windy day, I visited the Girl in the Westuit.
“Although some believe it was a replica of Copenhagen’s The Little Mermaid (see Guns & Butter: Copenhagen Travel Guide), the creator has said: I didn’t believe we should have a copy of the mermaid. She is rightfully a symbol of Copenhagen… I proposed to have a life-size scuba diver seated there. At that time scuba diving was getting quite popular here in Vancouver and, just as important, I didn’t know of any similar sculpture anywhere in the world. It was a new idea… There was tremendous opposition and great controversy. I still don’t know why.”
I’m not sure I buy that. Here’s The Little Mermaid in Copenhagen:
Water creatures aside, Stanley Park is worth the visit.
Olympic Village
The final stop was the Olympic Village. There’s not much to see here as the area has turned into a residential neighborhood.
Overall
In terms of big Canadien cities, I prefer Toronto or Montreal over Vancouver. While the scenery in Vancouver is beautiful, I am not paying a premium for this organic tranquility. I suggest you spend your time outside where the experience is free.
