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Thursday, June 20, 2024
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Guns & Butter: Moscow Travel Guide

Moscow Travel Guide is part of the Quest Around the Globe Trip Report.

TPOL’s Guns & Butter Travel Guide is the best way to see as much as you can in as little time as possible. Here’s how it works – A trip is composed of two factors: Labor And Lazy. The opportunity cost (what is given up) for relaxing and being Lazy is gained by being adventurous in the form of Labor and vice versa. The guide includes inefficient activities i.e., tourist traps that should be avoided and aspirational activities that are worth doing but may be impossible to see given the constraints of time and resources.

Who doesn’t want to go to Moscow? It ranks #7 on the list of TPOL’s Best Cities in the World. Here’s what I did there:

Wander the Streets 

When I arrived in Moscow, I expected it to be dark and gloomy with ugly buildings like Mongolia. I found the opposite. The streets were wide, the buildings were beautiful, and the city was inviting.

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The Kremlin

I came here to see the Kremlin (see Red Square: The Best Photo Op If You Can Handle the Drama). It’s surreal.

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The Metro

Another surprise was the metro. It was A Living Museum.

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My first night I went to Cafe Pushkin, a Moscow institution, and ordered Russian classics (though there is a debate about who can claim borscht).

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The second night I went to Bolshoi for caviar and rabbit.

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From meal to meal, I stopped at various restaurants and cafes for espresso, burgers, and sushi.

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TPOL’s TIP: Bosco is located at Red Square, 3, Moscow, Russia, 109012. It has no affiliation with George Costanza.

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TPOL’s TIP: Bar BQ Cafe is located at ulitsa Pyatnitskaya 25 стр1д, Moscow, Russia, 115035 and is open 24 hours.


As expected there are many pubs along the pedestrian streets. Stop wherever you see fit.

a group of people walking in a city a statue of a cow on a sidewalk a glass of beer next to a magazine

I did go to the Hotel Peking for a rooftop bar. I’ll never understand the fascination with rooftop bars. I was good for a few photos and then it was time to move on.

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TPOL’s TIP: Hotel Peking is located at Bol’shaya Sadovaya Ulitsa, 5, Moscow, Russia, 123001.


It was a Wednesday night and I couldn’t believe that there were no bars open. I settled for the international tourist trap of buddha-bar. In fairness, they made good cocktails.

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Double Avoid 

Avoid the man in the pedestrian street who has chickens and asks if you want to take a picture. If you refuse to pay, he threatens to have sex in your mouth. Erasing the photo also works.


While I was curious as to how Moscow would look like in person, I was confident that my hotel choices would be up to international standards. Both the Park Hyatt and St. Regis exceeded my expectations.

Moscow Travel Guide

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It was time to go to St. Petersburg, the sixth-best city in the world. I took the train to get there.

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Moscow Travel Guide


Moscow did not disappoint. I will return when my Russian improves (see TPOL The Polyglot: How To Learn Multiple Languages) and stay for weeks on end in order to see much more.

Moscow Travel Guide is part of the Quest Around the Globe Trip Report.


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