Priority Pass Lounge Zurich is part of the #NoCollusion, No Albania for TPOL where I break my 100 country count mark. See the World Map for where I’ve been.
I once asked, “Writing Trip Reports: How Old Is Too Old?“. One answer is when the link to the lounge itself results in a 404 error. The Aspire Lounge, a pitstop on the way to Luxembourg City, can apparently not be found, at least online.
Here’s what it looked like then:
The show goes on.
Surfing in Puerto Rico Is Illegal is part of The Lost & Found Year(s): COVID Trip Report.
We are all going to go crazy if every activity that gives us peace is not allowed. The golf courses in Puerto Rico are still closed. That makes no sense to me. What makes even less sense is not allowing surfers to surf. Leif Engstrom, a Redbull athlete, was arrested in Rincon for what I can only describe as attempting to surf. Per the article, the charge was “surfing,” but Leif said the following: I wasn’t even in the water yet. I was walking. My hair was dry.
After seeing the photos from Florida with mobs storming the beach when it was opened, I can understand why the beaches in Puerto Rico remain closed. But going after a lone surfer? How does that keep anyone safe? Since this pandemic isn’t going away anytime soon, it’s time to be reasonable (see Puerto Rico’s Coronavirus Crackdown: Justified Or Unconstitutional?). Let golfers golf alone. Let swimmers swim alone. Let surfers surf alone.
I’ve rarely bought points. To me, it’s like cheating the game. Aeroplan just had a deal to sell points for 1 penny each. Marriott is giving a bonus for purchasing points. Unless it’s a last second booking and I’m in desperate need to get over the hump, I’m not opening my wallet. Even in those circumstances, I try to get more creative by considering other options e.g., flying another alliance or booking a different hotel. Today, there is no urgency to top off my account as there’s no urgency to travel. Today, hoarding cash as much as possible is better than hoarding points for an imaginary trip plan. I was frugal before this virus. Now, I’m cheap.
Are you buying points? Tell me why I’m wrong.
Best Hotel Zurich is part of the #NoCollusion, No Albania for TPOL where I break my 100 country count mark. See the World Map for where I’ve been.
After a night of experiencing Zurich’s grime, I left the Sheraton and went to the Kameha Grand which is part of the Autograph Collection. Until this point, I had only stayed at one other Autograph hotel, the Cosmo in Vegas. 
Location
The hotel is nowhere near the city center. I only picked it because it was the nicest and best points redemption.
LIFE IS GRAND
I arrived at the hotel to see that slogan plastered on the outside of the hotel in big capital letters. Then I saw a Rolls Royce. What was this place, I wondered.
Checking In
The man at the front desk had a big grin on his face when I was checking in. What was he up to, I wondered. While he sorted out my room, I took photos of the lobby. 
We Have Liftoff.
I boarded the elevator and arrived at my floor. Here’s what I found:
To the Moon
“You’ve been upgraded,” is a line I’ve become accustomed to hearing. I opened the door to find a gigantic room.
What I did not expect to find was that I blasted off from earth and now was in orbit. It was incredible. Everything in the room was out of this planet, from the ceiling to the carpet to the controls.
Toilets Are the Same in Space
Well, almost everything was from a different galaxy. The bathroom was what you would expect to find on planet earth. The closet, though bigger than anyone would need for one night, was also normal.
Over the Moon
Now I know why the front desk was laughing. I was laughing too. The bedroom was decorated all in white and had a photo of what I imagined to be my friends and I going on a spacewalk.
The Moonwalk
The bedroom was impressive but the living room was the best.
Space Memorabilia
What’s a space suite without space art? 
Space Force USA! USA!
There’s a guestbook for those who were lucky enough to go to space. 
EXTRA! EXTRA!
Read all about it.
Back to Planet Earth
To find my balance, I went down to the restaurant for a drink.
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Marriott
I’ve stayed at well over a dozen Marriott brands. Many provide the typical hotel experience. The Autograph Collection and this hotel, in particular, does not do that. Besides the space suite, there are other extraordinary hotel experiences.
Life is grand indeed!
Best Hotel Zurich is part of the #NoCollusion, No Albania for TPOL where I break my 100 country count mark. See the World Map for where I’ve been.
I tried to avoid the hold time and see if Chase would waive my annual fee for the Hyatt Card by sending them a secure message. Their canned response was that they could not, followed by the benefits of having the Hyatt card. Laziness didn’t pay off. Now, it’s time to call, though I don’t expect a different result from doing so.
Finding Happiness: Bhutan Day 3 is part of the ANA, Take Me ‘Round the World Trip Report. Catch up on Bhutan Day 1 and Bhutan Day 2.
After breakfast, it was time to hit the road.
“Mr. Alex is a lion, how can a lion have a hangover?” That’s the way my driver greeted me after a day of drinking and golf and a night of beer and great food. We left the capital and headed to Punakha with a stop at Dochula pass (3,150m) for what would have been a great view of the Himalayan range, if the sky had been clear. Unfortunately, it was too foggy to see the mountain range from the pit stop. Perhaps, we would have better luck after a challenging hike even higher up.
After an espresso, it was time for TPOL to get one with nature by participating in an activity I usually find pointless. Why people enjoy wandering in the woods is something I had yet to figure out. Since this was Bhutan and I was on a quest to find happiness, I gave it another shot.
As I made my way to the top, I found an older man walking at a lightning pace, much faster than my guide and Ms. TPOL. I left them behind and followed him. At over 10k feet, it was difficult to breathe and after weeks in Shanghai of doing little exercise (TPOL’s Guide to Libations in Shanghai), I found it physically challenging. I pressed on. I couldn’t let the old timer think I was weak.
When we reached the top, we were greeted by a pack of dogs leading to this photo which I have captioned, “The isle of dogs.”
Again, it was too foggy to see what I imagine to be a beautiful view. Perhaps it was the temple or perhaps it was the serotonin from the climb, but at that moment I appreciated hiking and wasn’t bothered by the fog.
On the way down, I decided to run. The soft mud made it comfortable to sprint, but there were some close encounters where I almost crashed. Similar to when I ran the Athens marathon (see Athens Marathon Course Review), I didn’t stop to take photos until the end. The feeling of being free would be undermined if I stopped to take pictures. I enjoyed the challenge of completing the mission and the competition of how long it took me to reach the finish line. With this mindset, I finally appreciate hiking. The “stop to smell the flowers” hiking is still not for me.
Following the trek, we went for lunch. One knock on these organized tours is that they take you to pre-arranged restaurants. Day 2’s lunch was bad and this one was as well. It seems like they find the most basic restaurant to increase their margins. I would rather stop at a fast food place for beef momo than be taken to a bland restaurant. Although the food was not great, I did buy a beautiful tracksuit for the great price of $50 (see below). The Bhutanese thought I was a professional footballer.
After lunch, we arrived in Punakha. Driving by, we saw Punakha Dzong, the Palace of Great Happiness, the oldest and most beautiful fortress in Bhutan. But today was not for pictures or cultural visits. Today was for adventure. The first was crossing the Punakha Suspension Bridge. Jumping up and down is frowned upon and can terrify others that are crossing. It is also a good time.
Tracksuit Modeling
The main event was the white water rafting. Tourists are given two choices: the gentler female river called Mo Chhu or the serious, choppy, category 3 white water rapids of the male river called Pho Chhu. Naturally, I voted for the male river. When the guide asked if I had any experience I said absolutely not. Following the safety debrief, I was scared of what I was getting myself into.
The following hour consisted of the following:
All forward! Everyone would row in synchrony.
Hold on! I would grab the rope and hold on for dear life as the rapids would slam into my face.
Stop and relax. I would enjoy the moment of calm.
Lock your feet! Put one foot in front of the other and paddle like hell.
Stop and relax. It’s over.
Next to bungee jumping (see 3,2,1 Bungee! Bungee Jumping Victoria Falls), this was the most exhilarating activity I have participated in. Like hiking, there was no time for me to take photos. I was engaged in the moment. Like bungee, we were lucky enough to have the guide capture a few pics in the brief moments of calm.
The Bhutan trip started off tame but quickly turned into a real adventure.
At night we stayed at a resort overlooking the Palace of Great Happiness. The room was better than our hotel from Day 1 and Day 2 as was the dinner. The Wi-Fi was not.
TPOL’s TIP: I kept requesting not to eat at the hotel or at tourist restaurants. Sometimes the guides obliged and sometimes they did not. It was the only frustrating part of the trip.
Overall
Day 3 was the best up to this point. It felt like happiness was right around the corner.
I have a Keep vs. Cancel situation coming up with my Hyatt card. I haven’t updated to the World of Hyatt Card and still have the $75 card. Normally I wouldn’t contemplate canceling because a stay cert for a Category 1-4 room is included with the sticker price. “In these unprecedented times,” the worst line ever, I’m not too excited about a stay cert that I don’t know when or where I would use. In no mood to be put on hold, I sent the following message to Chase using the secure message center to see what can be done:
My annual fee came due. Can it be waived due to the fact that I can’t use the award certificate in the foreseeable future?
Let’s see what happens.
News is supposed to be new, but all I read about is the same thing. I have tried to avoid that topic by writing about past travels (see Writing Trip Reports: How Old Is Too Old?). It’s allowed me to escape the reality that is happening outside. If you want to join me, please subscribe to my daily newsletter. I can’t guarantee that there won’t be posts about you know what, but I can guarantee that you won’t miss a post.
Glamour And Grime is part of the #NoCollusion, No Albania for TPOL where I break my 100 country count mark. See the World Map for where I’ve been.
I never had a desire to go to Switzerland. It looks like Montana but comes with a shocking sticker price (see Don’t Date in Switzerland!). Like everywhere, I had to go on my own to see what it was like. Like a tourist, I decided the first city I would visit was Zurich.
Streets of Gold?
When I think of Switzerland, I think chocolate, banking, watches, and wealth. I expected Zurich to be a cultured version of Dubai, a city not as gaudy, but one where wealth was evident. As it turned out, Zurich looked like most European cities. It was clean, had nice architecture, an efficient public transport system, but it wasn’t full of Rolls Royces. Apparently, I had to go to Geneva if I wanted to see that.
The Glamour
Walking around Lake Zurich provides for a nice afternoon. Too tight in the wallet to pay triple the price for champagne, I picked up a bottle at the grocery store and enjoyed the view.
The Banks
Credit Suisse and UBS are right next door to one another. The days of secret banking are not what they used to be but they’re not dead either.
The Desserts
I’ve tried macaroons in Paris and now Zurich. They are good but I still don’t see what the fuss is about nor why they cost so much. They do make for pretty photos.
Women Only
Frauenbad at Stadthausquai is a bathing area on Lake Zurich for women only. I found that a bit odd. 
Beer Garden
The transition from glamour to grime began slowly and escalated quickly. Things were still tame at the Bauschänzli beer garden. 
TPOL’s TIP: Stadthausquai 2 8001 Zürich
Edi’s Weinstube
I doubt you’ll find this place in a guidebook. Leave it to my friend living in Zurich to take me to this peep show inspired bar. There was no turning back from grime after that. 
TPOL’s TIP: Stüssihofstatt 14, 8001 Zürich, Switzerland
Langstrasse
You want to see the real world of male modeling? The one they don’t show you in magazines or the E! channel?
If you want to see the real Zurich, head to Langstrasse Saturday night, a street of bars, pubs, punks, pimps, and prostitutes. Indeed, Langstrasse is the former redlight of Zurich. While there are upscale bars and restaurants in Zurich for those with discerning taste, those won’t give you the grime experience your heart desires. Think Koh Sahn Bangkok or Wan Chai Hong Kong. All three make Old Town Scottsdale look tame. 
Langstrasse is a real shithole and the exact opposite of Switzerland’s picture-perfect image. Like Singapore, Switzerland is not the sterilized society portrayed on TV. For that, I was thankful. I went to a few bars and clubs. I cannot recommend one over another. But fear not, you’ll encounter filth anywhere you go. 
Overall
Well that was unexpected. My time in Zurich descended quickly from glamour to grime. If you’re lucky, yours will too.
I’m not going to put any Covid posts in the best of April. Covid doesn’t deserve that attention. If you are interested in my Covid life, read The Lost & Found Year(s): Covid Trip Report.
Here are the best travel posts for April.
