What does that mean for you? More spectacular content that should be produced more efficiently now that I’m revolutionizing how blogs are written with the aid of technology (see TPOL’s Out of the Office…to Automate Automation).
I’m going to keep dancing on the Pink Street in Lisbon.
“Please see the agent.” Those were the words on the Global Entry Kiosk when I returned from my Central America trip. I thought my pretty face was not recognized. As it turned out, my beloved Global Entry had expired. I commented, “I thought it was good for ten years?”. The border agent said it is good for five. “It’s been five years already?” I replied.
I didn’t receive notice that my Global Entry was expiring. I also didn’t think it would be a big deal to renew. A week before my trip to Colombia, I finally got around to doing the application. The day before leaving, I went to check in for my flight and noticed that my TSA PreCheck status was not showing up. I went back to the Global Entry page and saw that my status was still pending. Freaked out, I started Googling how long it takes for a renewal to process. My heart sank when I read horror stories that it could take months. I grew more despondent when I read that I could have still made use of Global Entry if I had applied for renewal before it expired.
The next morning I mentally prepared myself for the arduos line through airport security. My punishment for not renewing was enduring the humiliation of taking off my shoes and removing my laptop from my bag. Fortunately, the line itself was not that long.
Two days after my arrival, I received an email from U.S. Customs and Border Protection. My heart raced when I opened it. What if I were not approved? Could I ever travel again without the luxury of Global Entry?
Fortunately, I would not have to answer those questions as my application was approved.
But this time it is for more than travel. It is to go down to Colombia to meet with my AI Web Developer about increasing the automation of this fantastic blog. That way I can post twenty times a day without each post requiring hours of work.
All I receive from Amex when I apply for anything is a warning that I am not eligible for anything. That is depressing. In search of app-o-rama thrills, I went through the credit card pushers’ list of best cards. The two that stuck out were Alaska’s 50k offer and Avianca’s 100k offer. I was instantly approved for the Alaska card. This bonus will go very well with my Hawaiian personal approval and perhaps my Hawaiian business approval (see Barclays Hawaiian Business App: Send in Your DL, SS Card by Mail). Avianca needs more time to see if I am worthy of those 100k Lifemiles.
Would you take a cruise? I would not. I don’t care how many commercials they push at me. Nothing about the experience is appealing.
Cruises kill. First, they kill the environment. Imagine how much energy is required to move a city across the ocean. Second, it kills the tourism sector. According to store owners I spoke with in Puerto Rico, cruise passengers spend the least amount of money compared to other tourists. Passengers have no incentive to eat because they can stuff their faces on the boat. They do not stay at the hotels because they are in their underwater state room. They don’t book excursions because the ship provides them. Third, cruises kill adventure. The fun of traveling is not planning and not knowing what is going to happen next. Who wants to be on a set itinerary?
Finally, cruises kill my fun. It was a Tuesday in Roatan. The beach was swamped with people, killing the tranquility of the beach. Where did this crowd come from? A cruise, of course. Hours later, the invasion ended and the beach went back to being beautiful.
When I was in Antigua, I met a captain who preferred life at sea versus life on land. While I love Pirates of the Caribbean, I don’t think I could be Jack Sparrow full-time. In Roatan, I met scub divers who, like Sebastian, prefer to live under the sea.
Ranking the dare-devil activities that I have yet to do, scuba is near the bottom. As an archivist, I have no interest in activities where I cannot capture the moment. I also do not want to get hooked on another hobby (see Muay Thai) because there’s not enough time in the day, nor money to do every single thing. Equipped with my waterproof Osmo Action 5, I resolved the first concern.
Ignoring my other concern, I wanted to see if crass Sebastian was correct: is it better down where it’s wetter? Accordingly, I booked an intro scuba course in Roatan. It cost $125, including tax. Part of the excursion included an in-classroom segment, a pool warm-up, followed by a dive with depths up to 40 feet.
Unfortunately for me, the weather did not cooperate on the day of my dive and the excursion was cancelled. Having weaseled my way out of death on my snorkeling excursion the following day (see Shaqtin’ a Fool: How I Almost Drown in Roatan), I contemplated whether I could be bothered to try scuba. Thinking of waking up early in the morning, attentively paying attention in a classroom, then practicing in a pool, seems like a lot of work for a hobby where the fun comes from going down under multiple times.
Sipping on champagne, relaxing on the beach, seems like a much better time than exposing myself to the possibility of another addiction. Maybe one day I will give it a go, but right now, and with all due respect to Sebastian, life is the bubbles on land.
I’ve done my fair share of daredevil activities (see Wild One). I don’t consider snorkeling to be one of them. It was this dismissal that could have cost me my life.
Monday: No Go
It was a rainy Monday in Roatan. The sea was angry that day, my friends – like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. I dared not go in the water. Not only was it dangerous, but without the sun shining through, killing the snorkeling experience.
Tuesday: The Sun Came Out
Excited that the sun had come out, I was ready to snorkel and document my adventure for my YouTube channel. On the beach, I asked the hotel worker where the fish were to be found. He said past the white buoy by the boats. I went to the activity center and signed out goggles and flippers (Note: there is no charge for rentals because you are extorted $69 for a resort fee at the Kimpton Roatan).
That’s where we’re going to find those shrimp, my boy!
Backstory
I bought an Osmo Action 5 after going to Oman and realizing that the Pocket 3 was not durable for the via ferrata (see This Is Living) and not waterproof for the wadi (see Wadi’ing Around Oman). The problem with the Action is that it requires a specific accessory depending on the sport. For Puerto Rico, I bought the body cam, the neck cam, some clamp thing, and some sticky thing. The day before I left, I realized that I did not have the one accessory I needed: a buoy with a handle and strap.
I told my YouTube producer that I did not feel comfortable swimming without the strap and would use the neck cam as a workaround. He said that would result in crappy footage. Fortunately, for me, Ms. TPOL used the strap meant for my Pocket 3 as a solution. It worked fine, but I was still nervous that there was no buoy.
This should work.
In the Water
Off I went in the water, recording fishes from all swims of life. I was paddling with my right hand and recording with my left. Focused on the fish, I did not realize that I was going in the wrong direction until I came up for air. Somehow, I had turned myself around and was heading back to the shore. Recalibrated, I swam out further towards the buoy. I took more footage and was ready to go back. This time when I came up, I realized that I was further out than I wanted to be. And that’s when it hit me that I did not have a life jacket. Paddling with one hand, going back and forth in the water, trying to capture the fish had caught up to me. I was exhausted. Couple this with the realization that I did not have a safety net and I became a little worried. With no energy, I thought there was no way I could swim back to shore. That prompted a cascade of negative thoughts. “Well, if you can’t swim back to shore then you will drown.” Then I thought, “Imagine if you drown snorkeling. Imagine those jokes.” That was followed by: “Imagine you drown while trying to watch YouTube. Imagine those jokes.”
Taken back to my days learning to swim at the YMCA, I switched from paddling to treading water on my back. Slightly more assured that I wouldn’t become a drowning laughing stock, I told myself that I would hang out like this until I was physically ready to go. Sensing that moment would not come, I returned to treading water and scoped out my options. The best way is to swim to a group of boats nearby, hoping they would take pity on this fool. Luckily, I was welcomed on board and told to take my time and rest.
My plan was to gather my strength and have them drop me off at the original buoy and swim from there. However, the longer I sat on the boat, the further we drifted from the shore.
Look how far I was.
Fate intervened. Suddenly, my goggles snapped off my head and the snorkel kit fell into the water. “Oh no!” I exclaimed, the resort fee won’t cover this! Because of my quick thinking, I saved the goggles like I saved myself from going under.
default
I informed the captain of my new situation. He graciously took me to a dock and dropped me off at the nearest dock.
Safety dock
From there, I safely walked back to the hotel.
Glad to be back on land.
When I returned to the hotel, I told the worker what happened. He replied, “My bad, I forgot to tell you to take a life vest!”
In his defense, I didn’t think about a life vest, not because I fancy myself a strong swimmer. I didn’t think to bring one because I was caught up in the sun being out and fixated on capturing footage. That was stupid. Having swum with humpback whales in Tonga with no life vest, in freezing waters, with waves crashing, where tourists have been ‘lost’, you would think that I would be more cautious.
This video is funny in retrospect:
The Kicker
On top of qualifying for Shaqtin’ a Fool for being a reckless dummy, I have more embarrassment to share. The footage was not that good. On top of that, it was not captured in 4k: 16:9 as the producer had requested. I had the mode on 4:3, which is not widescreen.
Overall
No more videos snorkeling for me. I’ll save that for the professionals at the Discovery Channel.
And the beat goes on. I applied and was approved for the Barclays Hawaiian Airlines card. 60k points that can be transferred to Alaska for a 2k spend is one of the best offers I have received in a long time. I used my Alaska points to fly to Melbourne with a stop in Fiji two years ago as part of the Bula! Trip Report and Melbourne Residency. (see Bula! Fiji Airways Vancouver to Nadi Flight Review). Where will I go this time? And, more importantly, will I be approved for the business version of the card, allowing me to book a return flight?
