Pinaloka: The Best Piña Colada in Puerto Rico?

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The Best Piña Colada in Puerto Rico is part of the Despacito! TPOL Moves to PR Trip Report.


Even Israeli intelligence knows that TPOL’s favorite drink is the Piña Colada (see Top Piña Coladas on Earth). Naturally, that is why I ended up moving to Puerto Rico instead of my new favorite country, Albania (I’m sure haters who voted that TPOL should move there didn’t know that Tirana is a great city). That’s why I was so disappointed when I visited a restaurant in Old San Juan.  It’s where the original Piña Colada was created, but I found out that they are premade in slushy machine. With the Hilton Caribe, the other purported birthplace of the Piña Colada (now closed due to Hurricane Maria), I have been aimlessly wandering the island searching for my cocounut and rum fix.

Incidentally, I came across a walk-through bar that boldly stated that it made the best Piña Colada in PR. I had two options: buy the standard cup or pay $10 for the tourist trap pineapple version. Being a sucker for tourism, I was tempted to buy the pineapple. Worst case, I would have some nice pictures for the blog. Economical, I purchased the standard cup. 

After a quick sip, I immediately regretted not splurging. This Piña Colada was the perfect mix of rum and coconut. It was not overly infused with pineapple like the ‘original’ I described above. Instead, it had fresh pineapple slices and a perfect maraschino cherry to compliment this delictable treat.

Tourist trap? I think not.

In my book, Everyone’s Advice is Wrong: How I Found Success By £µ¢&ing Up (on sale here), I describe how, at the age of 18, I was “bound for one of those private hideaways showcased in Robb Report,” and how “I could already taste the island rum in a delicious piña colada.”

Eighteen years later, with one part of my fortuitous plan complete, it is time to cement the other (see House Hunters (Semi) International: Where to Live in Puerto Rico).

Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong…Excluding Mine

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